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RICHARD THE CONDO WAS QUIET. KATHARINE, after another night of silence, had gone to bed. She hadn’t eaten much dinner, barely sipped her wine, and answered my questions with small hums or shakes of her head. I heard her moving around upstairs, the sound of drawers opening and closing, and I knew she was probably rearranging and organizing. She did that when she was upset.Worry ate away at my nerves; it was something I’d never experienced. I wasn’t used to caring about anyone. I wondered how to help her to feel better, how to help her talk. She needed to talk.The memorial had been small but special. Since Laura and Graham handled most of the arrangements, it wasn’t surprising. Laura sat with Katharine and helped her pick out some photos, which they placed around the room. Her favorite one of Penny they positioned by the urn that was decorated with wildflowers. There were flowers sent by different people, the largest arrangement came from Katharine and myself. All of Penny’s favorites
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RICHARDI KNEW SHE WASN’T THERE, yet I still checked every inch of the condo. When I looked in her dresser and closet, most of the new clothes I purchased for her remained, but some were missing. Her two still-to-be-unpacked boxes were in her closet, some of her toiletries were in the bathroom, but the one suitcase she had was missing. I remembered hearing drawers opening and shutting last night. What I thought was her organizing and moving things, was in fact, her preparing to leave me.I sat down on the edge of her bed with my head in my hands.Why? Why would she sleep with me when she knew she was going to leave? Why did she leave?I cursed under my breath—the answer to that was obvious. Penny was dead. She no longer had to provide for her, which meant she no longer had to keep up the pretense of being in love with me.We had, I thought, been getting along well. I was sure she was feeling something. Why hadn’t she talked to me?I barked out a laugh in the empty room. Of course, she
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RICHARDI STARED OUT THE WINDOW overlooking the vast property. Memories of bringing Katharine here the first day flitted through my head. How nervous and anxious we both had been. How well she played her part. My gaze swept over to the deck. Remembering our wedding dinner, my chest became tight. She had looked so pretty, felt so right in my arms when we danced. The day, which should have been nothing but another piece of my plan, had been a joyful one.Had I loved her then?“Richard.”I turned to face Graham. He held out a steaming cup of coffee. “I thought you could use this.”I took the mug with a silent nod and turned back to the window. My thoughts were jumbled and confused. I had no idea how to start this conversation, but I knew I had to have it. I needed to wipe the slate clean, then figure out my next move.Taking in a deep lungful of air, I turned back to Graham. He was leaning on his desk, feet crossed, sipping his coffee. He was his normal, calm self, yet the look on his fac
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RICHARDIN THE HALLWAY, LAURA STOPPED us. She looked up at me, a frown on her face.“I was listening by the door, Richard.”“Okay.”“I heard almost everything.”I dropped my gaze, hers too intense to meet any longer. “You lied to me. To my family.”“Yes.”“So did Katy.”My head shot up. “Because I made her, Laura. She hated it. She hated the fact she had to lie in the first place, but once she got to know you, she loathed it.” I stepped forward. “She did this to make sure Penny was looked after and had a safe home. She . . . she became so fond of you, of all of you, this ruse ate her up inside.” I gripped the back of my neck, wrenching on the tense muscles. “I think it was the main reason she left. She couldn’t take the lies anymore.”She stretched up, tugging on my arm. I released the grip on my neck and allowed her to clasp my hand.“Was it still a lie when she left?”“No,” I admitted. “I love her. I’m lost without Katy.” I swung my gaze to Graham and back to her. “That’s why I had t
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KATHARINETHE GENTLE SOUNDS OF THE waves breaking on the shore soothed me. I rested my chin on my knees, trying to lose myself in the beauty of the beach. The gulls flying overhead, the ebb and flow of the moving water, and the utter peace.Except, I wasn’t peaceful. I felt lost, torn. I was grateful Penny was nolonger trapped in a never-ending nightmare of forgotten moments, but I missed her terribly. Her voice, her laughter, the tender way she would cup my cheek, kiss my forehead, tweak my nose, and in her rare moments of clarity, provide her wisdom.If she were here I could talk to her, tell her what I was feeling, and she would explain it to me. She would tell me what to do next.I was in love with my husband, a man who wasn’t in love with me. A man who felt love made you weak and couldn’t love himself. He would never be able to see his good traits; the ones he had buried deep inside in order never to be hurt again.He had changed a lot since that fateful day he asked me to be his
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RICHARDShe was too thin again. Even with a jacket on, it was evident. Her appetite had been non-existent after Penny passed, and in the few days we’d been apart, I knew she wasn’t eating. She was suffering as much as me.When I arrived at the small cluster of cottages, I parked far enough away I wouldn’t alert her to my presence if she was, indeed, there. Walking onto the beach, I spied her right away, a small, huddled mass on the sand, staring into the horizon. She looked lost and tiny, and the need to go to her, lift her into my arms and refuse to let her go, was strong. I had never felt anything that intense until today. However, I resisted, knowing I needed to approach her cautiously. She had run once, and I didn’t want her running again.We stood, staring at each other. I began to head toward her—slow, wary steps, until I was in front of her, inches away. Up close, she looked as ravaged as I felt. Her blue eyes were bloodshot and weary, her skin paler than ever, her hair limp and
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RICHARDI LIFTED MY HEAD, SQUINTING in the silent darkness. We had been sitting, holding each other, needing the closeness. I didn’t know for how long, but enough for night to have descended. “I need to add some more logs,” I murmured. “The fire is going to die.”“I like it right here. I’m warm enough.”I chuckled and pressed a kiss to her head. “We have to move eventually.” “I should make us something to eat.”“I need to find a place to stay.”She froze. “You aren’t staying here?”Tenderly, I cupped her face, brushing a kiss to her lips. “I want to. But I don’t want to push.”“It’s a queen-size bed.”I quirked my eyebrow at her. “Small for us. I suppose I’ll have to snuggle with you. I guess if it’s the sacrifice I have to make—”Her lips curled into a smile. “I suppose so.”“I’ve missed snuggling with you. I’ve missed your warmth and your smell.”“Well then, I guess you better stay.”“I guess so.” I paused, needing to ask her the question that had been simmering in the back of my min
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RICHARDI SHOOK BILL’S HAND AND walked across the beach. Katy was sitting on the sand, a sketchbook on her knees, pencil in hand, but she was motionless. The breeze picked up the strands of her hair, blowing them back like ribbons of dark silk. I sank down behind her, pulling her back into my embrace.“Hey.”She tilted her head back, observing me upside down. “Hi. What were you talking to Bill about for so long?” A frown crossed her face. “Please tell me you didn’t ask about buying the resort.”I snickered at the expression on her face and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “No. I think he has a buyer. I was thanking him for letting you come back, and we were talking about other things. Where he is moving to, stuff like that.”She pursed her lips and shrugged, turning back to face the water. “What are you sketching?”She held up the book. “Nothing. I’m enjoying the view.”I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her tight. “It’s a great view.”“Penny and I used to build bonfires, cook
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A my pulled off a miracle and, in ten minutes, had chocolate milk and a donut for Gracie. She sat with her, stitching her skirt as I changed into another suit, grateful my shirt had been spared the splatter. I sat down, sipping my coffee in appreciation. It was rare Amy brought me a cup, so when she did, I enjoyed it. I looked at the schedule. “Can we switch any of this?”“I already changed what I could. I have explained to the clients, and they are fine for a more casual meeting in your office.”I scrubbed my chin, realizing I hadn’t shaved today. “Okay. I’ll do my best. Can Gracie sit with you for a bit?”She shook her head. “Today is the training on the new software, Richard. If I miss it again, I won’t get another chance. I’ll only be gone two hours. I’m sure everything will be fine.”“Anyone else kid-friendly?”Again, she shook her head. “We’re all scheduled. And we’re already short. We’re swamped.”“I’ll be good, Daddy,” Gracie said, slipping off the sofa and twirling. Her skirt
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TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAYRICHARDI sat down next to Katy, chuckling as she moved her coffee cup out of my reach. Or at least thought she did. I leaned over and nuzzled her neck.“You smell so good, my Katy,” I murmured, darting my tongue out to taste her.She shivered, and I reached across her, grabbing her cup and sitting back in my chair, triumphant. I took a long, appreciative sip. “Ah, delicious.”She huffed out an annoyed breath. “There is a full pot, Richard. Why do you always have to steal mine?”“It tastes better. I keep telling you that.” “It’s the same coffee!”I shook my head. “Your lips touched the mug, my wife. It’s far sweeter.” Her annoyance turned into amusement.“You think you can sweet-talk me?”I tilted my head, studying her. “Isn’t it working?”She began to laugh. “Such a cheeseball.” She chuffed Heather under the chin, smiling as our baby kicked her feet against the high chair. “Your daddy is such a cheeseball.”“An incredibly good-looking, sexy cheeseball,
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ASHLEYRichard—Dad—peeked out into the room where Luc and I would exchange our vows. The space was decorated with flowers and pine, the scent filling the air. I hadn’t wanted an over-the-top Christmas theme, but I went with gold, ivory, and burgundy and some fir and evergreen to add to the mix.He returned to my side and tucked my arm through the crook of his. He patted my hand in comfort. “Luc is there. Pacing like a lion.”I chuckled. “He does that when he’s anxious and there isn’t a keyboard around to work on.”He nodded in understanding. “He’s waiting for you.” “I hope he’s not disappointed,” I admitted.He gaped at me. “How can you say that, Ashley? You’re absolutely gorgeous. You took my breath away.”I smiled, feeling self-conscious. “I like simple things,” I admitted. “Clean lines, not a lot of fuss. My dress is pretty plain in comparison to some.”“I like your style. It’s classic and beautiful. It suits you, and you look exquisite. He is going to be blown away.”I felt my che
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RICHARDI straightened my tie, glancing in the mirror. My cowlick was acting up today, and I ran my fingers through my hair repeatedly, trying to tamp itdown. I had no idea why I was feeling so nervous—I had done this before and knew my part. Walk her down the aisle, say a few words, then sit beside Katy.But today felt different. As if I had finally finished a long walk and could rest.The door opened, and Katy slipped out, smiling. She walked toward me, lovely in a green dress, her hair swept up. Her dress was longer than usual, but there was a slit on one side that showed off her shapely leg as she walked. I loved her legs.I held out my hand. “You look stunning, sweetheart.”She smiled. “Wait until you see Ashley, Richard. She is so beautiful, it’s beyond words.”“Is she okay?”“Nervous,” she replied, laughing lightly. “Worried Luc won’t show.”I joined in her amusement. “He’s been champing at the bit all day. We could barely get him to eat or concentrate on the game. They’re bot
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EPILOGUEA FEW MONTHS LATERASHLEYM y phone rang, and I smiled as I picked it up. “Luc,” I answered. “Hello.”“Hey, love. Listen, I got invited to a dinner on Friday. I checked your schedule, and you have no events. Will you come with me?”“Of course,” I replied. “Where is it?”He chuckled. “Of all places, the winery.”I laughed with him. “Shoreline? Great.” I loved that place.“Actually, they had some extra spots, so I asked Heather and Reed as well. It’ll make it more fun.”“Sounds good.”“It’s semiformal, so I need a suit, and you need a pretty dress.”“Pretty sure I’ve got that covered,” I said dryly, thinking of the closet at home with all the dresses I used when I worked events.“I kinda want to treat you to a new one.” “Luc,” I scolded. “I have plenty.”“I might have already bought you one. I saw it when I was out to lunch, and it just looked like you. You’ll wear it for me, right?” He paused. “Please?”I couldn’t say no to this man. Ever. “Yes, I’ll wear it for you.”“Perfect
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Matthew shook his head. “Not my fault Mom and Dad kept having kids until they got one they liked. Me. You notice they finally stopped. Deal with it.”Everyone chuckled, but I felt the flicker of worry. “I’m not trying to—”Matthew waved his hand. “It’s inevitable. You’re new. You’re going to find all of Dad’s stupid jokes funny. All of his old ad stories fascinating. His anecdotes clever. You’re fresh meat.” He patted me on the arm. “It’ll wear off. Soon, you’ll find him as boring as we do. You’ll fall in rank too.”Richard sputtered. “I’m not boring. Your mother doesn’t find me boring, do you, Katy?”Katy looked at me with a not-so-subtle wink. “Never.”“You laugh at my jokes! You love my stories!” he protested, looking aghast.Matthew snorted. “It’s habit, Dad. Face it. Boring. I’m telling you—you’re not all that and a bag of potato chips.”I tried not to laugh at Richard’s expression. Jaxson was smirking, trying to hide his amusement. Reed was shoveling eggs into his mouth like a s
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32ASHLEYK aty and Richard left not long afterward, making me promise to call if I changed my mind. Richard wasn’t happy about leaving, and his genuineconcern touched my heart. It felt nice to be worried about by a parental figure.It felt nice not to hate him.I sat on the sofa, rereading my mother’s letter. Richard had left his envelope behind, and after a while, I slipped both letters into the manila envelope and put them back where I found them. I would replace the glass for the picture tomorrow and return it to my nightstand. The letters belonged with the pictures. They showed me growing up with my mom, and her story was connected to those pictures. I would keep them together.Luc called when he took a break, his voice concerned when I answered. “Ashley, love, you called? Is everything okay?”“I’m fine,” I assured him, then told him everything that had transpired.“Holy shit,” he muttered a few times during my explanation, otherwise remaining silent and letting me talk.When I
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3 1ASHLEYT hey arrived in record time, both looking concerned. I had read my mom’s entire letter, often crying at points, feeling her fear, her regret,and her love in the words. She said so many things to me in the letter that she had felt yet never expressed. She regretted that and begged me never to do the same thing.If you love someone, tell them. If you have things to share, say them. Don’t live with regrets. Don’t make my mistakes. I loved you so much and never told you enough. Never showed you enough. That was how I was raised, and I should have done it differently.She had done it differently. I always knew I was loved, although I had always longed for more hugs and kisses. More cuddles and bedtime stories. I never knew how deeply her feelings ran. I always wondered if she regretted having me. Her letter had laid that to rest. She raised me the only way she knew how, although I suspected she showed me more affection than her parents had shown her. She had struggled daily to
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30ASHLEYA couple of days later, I looked around at the few unpacked boxes Luc had brought over before he’d left on his business trip. His clothes nowhung in the closet, his T-shirts and underwear in the dresser Joyce had left behind and we had moved into my—our—bedroom. He hadn’t brought any furniture, laughing and shaking his head as he assured me none of it was salvageable after the years of him and his wild roommates abusing it.“We’ll pick out some new pieces together when we’re ready.”Joyce had left her few pieces of furniture behind, taking only her clothes and personal items. I had offered to buy them, but she refused, saying she was happy to know they were being used and to consider them a gift. So, the spare room was now a guest room, and I didn’t have to replace the side tables or the TV stand. The sofa and chair, I had purchased, as well as the TV, so it was an easy transition for everyone.It was hard saying goodbye to her, but she was so excited, I couldn’t be sad. Th
