Chapter 4| Lost Her Identity

I jumped off the cliff even though I knew I would barely survive.

As I looked up, I saw Vincent looking at me as I fell.

His golden eyes reflected when the light from the moon touched his face. He just did nothing while I saw Ivan looking at me in worry.

Why is that guy looking at me in that way?

I couldn’t help but ask myself due to the unusual treatment I received from him. He even let me escape earlier. If Vincent didn’t arrive too soon, for sure, I was already far away from here.

After a second, I felt my back and head hit a strong concrete. It gave me excruciating pain in my back, legs, and head. I heard the splash of the ocean as I slowly sank deeper and deeper into the water.

My vision became blurry, and I held my breath. I knew for more seconds, that my life would be ended.

I couldn't see Vincent’s face clearly. It became distorted because of the water. I didn’t know if I would be thankful that at least, before my last breath, I saw my mate, my mate who killed my parents and invaded our pack.

All the anger I felt suddenly became sadness. 

It made me think that maybe my mother was right. She said to me before: Anger is the defense mechanism of a wounded heart. What you truly feel is sadness, and you are angry just to protect your vulnerable feelings.

As the second went by, I felt the water embracing me, pulling me deeper.

When I accepted the fact that this is the end of me, I slowly closed my eyes as I remembered the happiest moment of my life with my parents.

“You, Astrid, are the most precious thing we’ve received from the Moon Goddess,” Catherine said as she cupped both of my cheeks.

A toothy smile crept on my lips.

“Is that true, Catherine?” a seven-year-old me asked her while playing with the hem of my shirt.

“Of course! Look at your father. He’s smiling carrying you when you were a baby here in the picture,” she answered and showed me our family photo.

“What are my two girls talking about, huh?”

Catherine and I both flinched when George suddenly popped out behind the sofa.

“Daddy!!!” I exclaimed excitedly and ran in his direction.

“You miss me that much, little one?!” He teased and carried me before kissing me on my cheek.

Catherine came closer in our direction with a huge smile on her face and hugged us.

George…Catherine…Wait for me in heaven.

The words I said inside my head before my sight and my mind went black.

****

“Still has no progress? She’s unconscious for one week!”

A pain kicked inside my head after I heard a loud voice. It seemed someone was arguing with another.

I slowly opened my eyes, and the first thing I saw was a white ceiling.

I slowly lifted my left hand when I felt something attached to the back of my palm. Then, I saw a tube inserted into my veins. I looked at my right hand, and I saw it was wrapped with bandages.

Wait? What was happening?

I asked at the back of my head.

I looked for anyone who can answer my question. And there, I saw a man standing in front of a doctor. They were arguing about something.

And when they saw I was awake, the doctor quickly approached my direction. I tried to sit on the bed, and the doctor helped me.

“How’s your feeling? Do you feel dizzy? Or do you feel the need to puke? Your head had a bad impact. Kindly tell me what you feel,” the doctor asked.

The man who’s arguing with the doctor earlier walked closer in my direction. I saw he was surprised for a second and went back with a blank expression.

“I…” I stopped talking when I felt my throat was dry. It hurt me to speak more. I could also feel my lips were dry too.

A nurse entered my room. She gave me a glass of water and helped me to drink it.

After three more gulps, I felt relieved. I thanked the nurse before looking back at the doctor.

“I…I feel…I feel nothing…” I said. My forehead creased, and my eyebrow formed into one line when I tried to think about what happen to me.

“W-What happened?” I asked, and I felt my heart was going to burst in worry. Worry that I didn’t know what it was all about.

I just felt that I lost something, but I couldn’t remember what it was.

What? I couldn’t remember???

My eyes went wide in shock when I realized I didn’t remember everything. About who my parents are? Where do I live? Why am I here? And also….

“Who am I?” I was shocked and looked at the man and the doctor.

I saw the doctor shut his eyes and face the direction of the man.

“I do apologize, Alpha Vincent Miller. The patient is experiencing amnesia,” the doctor said.

“Amnesia?” I repeated.

“Where are my parents? Who are my parents?” I asked when I felt I was unsafe here. I didn’t know who they were.

I got out of my bed, but the nurse stopped me.

“Let go of me!!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

“Miss, please calm down,” the doctor said and helped the nurse from stopping me.

“No! Let me go!!!” I protested and tried to push them away.

“Enough!”

A deep and commanding voice stopped me from protesting.

I looked at the man. I gulped and shivered in fear when I saw how cold his golden eyes were.

Who is this man anyway?

I asked at the back of my head as I noticed he was the only one here in my room that seemed to be my visitor.

When he was already near me, I spoke.

“Who are you?” I bravely asked even if his cold stare made me nervous as hell.

“Are you…somehow…a relative?” I muttered under my breath and averted his gaze. I couldn’t stand his gaze anymore.

“Really?” he asked. 

I looked back at him. I saw his right eyebrow rose, and his golden eyes drew amusement.

He walked closer and pushed the doctor and the nurse away from me.

“You don’t know me?” he asked, but this time, there’ was no hint of emotion drawn on his face.

I panic not because he’s inches away from my face. It was because I really don’t know who this man was and why he was looking at me in this way.

It made me feel uncomfortable.

“That’s why…I asked,” I whispered, and it’s too late for me to realize that I sounded sarcastic. I bit my lower lip and shut my eyes.

Then, after a second, he moved away from me, and he burst out laughing.

“This is interesting…” he said as he stared at me as if I was a new subject to his project that no one knows.

Why did I feel unsafe when I heard those words?

“Okay. Let me introduce myself,” he said and cleared his throat.

“I’m your mate.”

“My mate?” I quickly uttered, my mouth agape.

“Yes, your mate. I’m the Alpha of Blackwood Pack, Alpha Vincent Miller. You are crazy in love with me. You worship day and night. Can’t you feel? Our connection?” he asked and placed his hand on my chest.

My forehead furrowed because instead of butterflies and good feelings embracing my heart, a strike of pain was the only feeling that I felt.

I looked at his face again. His face seemed unsettling.

Am I really crazy in love with this man?

I asked at the back of my head while looking at his cold golden eyes.