Chapter 1

EVERYTHING seems busy. The students are having their world. They didn't bother to care about other people around. But not until Seraphina Fernandez stepped towards the entrance of San Albereda University. Everyone looked at her that makes her bowed her head.

She's still not really used to the indifferent treatment of the students where she studies. They act like she has this contagious disease when in fact she doesn't have, well, the only thing she has is a disorder, but it wasn't contagious like what they are reacting to. She has this disorder called dysphemia, on which whenever she tries to speak she always stutter. Not because she's nervous, well, part of.

She immediately change directions when she saw a bunch of students walking in her direction. As much as possible she doesn't want to associate with them. Because for sure, they will make fun of her just like before.

Seraphina walked faster until she reached the library. It was only then that she breathed a sigh of relief. The library is not the main library at all, so there are only a few students there or maybe she is just too early. She fixed her glasses and gently placed the books she's holding on the table. She's inside the CAS library extension.

"Thank God, maybe I'll spend some time here first. My next class starts at 3, I still have an hour," the only thing she could say on her mind when she finally entered the library.

She sat up straight on the chair, her long dress already dangling on the floor, but she was careless on that thing, she immediately took the book out of her bag and read it.

She was busy reading a book about arts when she heard a commotion at the exit of the library. The students, especially the girls, are gathering there. She silently shook her head in disapprovement. Probably, they are talking about some random guy who's so popular in San Albereda University. That's not new, it has always been like that.

"Shit, I saw Nazel and Samel. They're really handsome like I could die just to stare at them the whole day..."

"That's right, it's a pity though, Azel isn't here, I heard he's busy reviewing."

"Don't be surprised, Azel is a law student. Hey, you know that? He's handsome, he's smart, he's everything. And no one could even afford him."

Seraphina heard about it, she shook her head in disbelief.

"Maybe, I will seduce, Azel? Right? I'll make him impregnate me..."

She felt so scandalous about what she heard. It was so vulgar, she wasn't used to that. She grew up in a conservative family. So she was embarrassed with what she heard. And another thing, they are attending a Roman Catholic University but those women speak like they are just studying at a simple university. Of course, just because they are in a religious university doesn't mean that they have to be religious as well, but at least, they should be careful with the words they will use. Not all people are used to hear something like what they are talking about.

She cleared her throat and tried to concentrate on what she is reading. It was just a simple gesture without a meaning. It's just that other people like to assume that there is something behind those pantomimes and even thought that it's a negative reaction. She's still busy reading her book when she was disturbed by someone who tapped the table loudly where she is reading. To her shock, she suddenly loosened the grip on the book. Her gaze went up to see who it is.

She saw the girls talking with each other earlier, standing in front of her with their foreboding stance. She was alarm, she doesn't know what to do. Seeing them here in front of her, she felt so nervous. What if they hurt her? What if they humiliated her, again? What if they do more than that?

She doesn't know what to do with what's happening to her now. Fear and nervousness were also building in her chest. This is not new to her anymore but she still feels that way. She looked down at her trembling hands, with her fingers playing in so much nervousness. She really doesn't know what to do. She wants to run or just disappear like a bubble in the thin air if she could just do that.

"Look at me, bitch..."

She didn't move nor react, she just silently looking down on her hands. So the girl grabbed her jaw and made her looked at them. She saw the girl's eyes, she looks mad. She trembled even more at the sight of anger and irritation on the girl's face. And even if she's not looking around, she knew that the students were watching, she could feel it, the penetrating gazes of the people on her whole being. 

"You purposely did it, right? Clearing your throat to let us stopped in talking?"

She shook her head quickly at what the woman said. She didn't do it purposely, it was her way to distract herself from listening to them. Even then, she won't want to interfere with other people. She had many fears and one of them was already happening to her. The only thing she don't really understand was why the things she feared were always chasing her.

She felt a pain in her cheek as the woman gripped her jaw tightly. Her breathing is gradually getting heavier. She could no longer breathe properly due to nervousness and fear, adding that she is already panicking.

"Yes, you are. Remember this, don't messed up with me. Because this is not the only thing you’ll take from me next time. Understood? "

She nodded as her tears rolled down her cheeks. She looked down as the woman released its hold on her face. They even slapped her before walking out from her. She was even almost deafened by the force of the woman's slap on her. For sure her face reddened, she can feel the pain through her cheeks. That hurts, not just by the fact that they physically hurt her but also by slapping her by the truth that she is really weak and helpless.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she adjusted her glasses and belongings. She felt so humiliated and embarrassed about what happened to her. Her eyes roamed the library, she bit his lips as she saw how some students looked at her with pity on their eyes. Some of them even looked at her like she's an entertaining show as if it was really a funny show. While others look at him with disgust. There are already a lot of students watching her, the incident attracts attention.

Shame ate her whole being. She felt so pathetic looking at them. She no longer expects anyone to help her. No one dared to help her even before. Not even once. They are just watching, laughing, and pitying her. What would she expect from other people? They treat her like she really has some contagious disease that they need to avoid her so that they can save themselves.

"Tsk, attention seeker."

"Why is she here in the first place? I really don't know why she's still studying here."

"Oh come on, let go of that mute, she's just lack of attention."

Seraphina can't take it anymore, she can't bear to let people detriment her, so she runs away. Every time that they will say something negative about her, every word will linger on her mind. And it was like a broken vinyl record that was repeatedly playing on her mind. She held tightly onto the books as she ran fast, away from the people, away from the judgments they have for her. She doesn't know where she would go just to be alone. She just let her feet move to go somewhere, anywhere. She just kept running as she continued to cry.

Until she found herself in front of her parent's graves. She was already outside of San Albereda University without her consciousness She actually ditch her classes. But her attention wasn't there. She's hurt at the moment. At this time, she doesn't care what will happen to her class records. She wants to go far away from those people because if not, she might go insane.

She will go crazy if she would still think of what are the reasons why they treat her like that and what she did wrong to those people.

She caressed her parent's graves as she let the tears come out from her eyes. She felt so alone, she misses her parents. If she just could turn back time, she will do it immediately. She would bring back the times when she was still with her parents. But she's in reality, she can't do that. She has no power to turn back time.

Her parents told her that when she grew up, she could do whatever she wanted to do. But now, she was already eighteen but she still can't do what she wants. She still looks like a child with limited things to do. It was like she's a prison of the people's judgment, and she's afraid of them.

She didn't like what was happening to her. She doesn't want to feel those things, she just only wants a normal life. But the world insists on depriving it of her. She felt she doesn't belong in any society that the world have. She was so alone in the middle of somewhere she can't name. She was so lost. There is no home for her, and in her mind, no one will accept her.

"M-Ma, P-Pa, I-I c-can't d-do i-it a-anym-m-more."

Her tears flowed even more. She wept like a lost child in her parents' grave. She can't continue this life anymore but she has a promise on her parents. She had to move on with his life because that was what she had promised her parents before they died. And she just can't afford to break the only promise she had for her parents.

They want her to continue her life and pursue her one and only dream. To be the most famous painter in this world.

But how can she continue if her life is like this?

ALMOST all the students in San Albereda University are looking at him. Adoring his every move. Fancying his everything. Watching him like a he's the most entertaining show they have ever watched. But instead of feeling grateful, he felt irritated. He doesn't want to be watched by everyone. That's ridiculous. He feels they are imprisoning him with their every stare. And he fucking doesn't want that. It's so suffocating and so disgusting.

He glared at the girls whose looking at him without shames. They averted their eyes from him. Those girls are so fucking irritating. They have been giggling at him like he's doing something with them.

 

He just put the earpads on both of his ears and continued reading. But instead of the feeling rivet with what he's reviewing, he felt so disturbed. His senses are sharp, he could count the students who had stared at him. And they are too many to mention. In aggravation, he stood up and walked out of the Law Library. And before he could go out completely, he saw the women gathering to the other side of the library, they were looking at him with admiration in their eyes. He clenched his jaw in annoyance. Women are really a pain in the ass. He doesn't want this kind of attention. Especially from women. Even before, he doesn't like girls. He doesn't like them. They are too pestilent.

He went down to the ground floor and walked away from the building. He has no class to follow and attend. He just has morning classes for this day. So he wonders where he should go. He doesn't want to go home yet. He wants to relax in the meantime.

While he is walking silently, he saw a woman walking fastly while looking down on the floor, she even looked like she's wiping her tears. And the woman looks so ashamed of people like she was afraid of the students that are watching her.

His forehead creased, he saw some students looking at the girl, they seems like laughing at the woman. He shrugged his shoulder off and went to the parking lot. He got in his car and drove it away from San Albereda University.

He traversed the whole of Mendiola, he was just driving without a certain direction, he doesn't even know where to go. He simply drove to where the wheels of his car would take him. Maybe he could kill time by driving around Manila. But while driving, his phone rang suddenly, he took his phone from the dashboard while his eyes are fixed on the road. It was his twin brother, he placed his phone on the dashboard again before he pressed something on his earpads to answer the call from her twin brother.

"What do you need?" he asked casually to the caller.

"Woah, it's not what you think, brother. Nazarel is asking where the fuck are you?"

He rolled his eyes in a manly way while still driving his Mercedes Benz. "Somewhere in the city," he doesn't know where he is.

"Oh, Nazarel said fuck you for deleting his edited films." He smirked at what Samael said.

He remembered what he had done to his other twin. He asked Nazarel for help with his things but his brother didn't even give him a single glance. His twin brother Nazarel is busy editing his films. Nazarel said it was a project on one of his subjects. So in return, when he borrowed his laptop he deleted Nazarel's film. It's just a payback, alright.

"Damn you, Azazel. I will shoot you on your fucking head." He smiled wickedly at his twin on the other line. Nazarel's cold voice did not affect him.

"I'll do it first on you, Nazarel. Anyway, start editing your films, your time is ticking."

He heard Nazarel groaned in frustration. He even heard Nazarel cursing him to death. That's not new though. It was normal for the three of them to quarrel as if there was no tomorrow, they even cussed each other, calling names like they are enemies. Tch. He was maneuvering the steering wheel when he remembered something.

"Samael."

"Yes, brother?"

"Fuck you, my penthouse smelled like zonrox last night."

He came home late last night because he was busy reviewing for his bar exams. He was so tired from reading a lot of books, his eyes are almost closing, feeling so drowsy. And when he get home, he thought that he can rest immediately. But then to his surprise, he saw how chaotic his penthouse is. The clothes were on the floor that he didn't know where they came from. There are even woman's undergarments there. Then he went to his room, and his face furrowed even more. His room is so messier. Her belongings are out of their order. The bed was disorganized. But that wasn't the only thing he hated the most, his whole penthouse smelled like zonrox. Damn the after-sex smell.

How could Samael make his penthouse a motel, damn it?

Samael laughed at what he said. "I'm sorry, brother, your penthouse is closer than my penthouse."

His head aches at what he said. Like what the fuck? Is he kidding him? Samael's penthouse is just near his penthouse. It was just a floor apart. Can't he wait to get to seventh-heaven? That even his penthouse was used by womanizing. If only he could have choked his twin brother now, he would gladly do it without hesitating for a second.

"Damn you, I'll shoot you first tomorrow." He clenched his jaw. "Fuck, I even throw your used condoms, are you stupid? You don't know how to throw away the ones you use?"

"Silly, I will shoot you both tomorrow— fuck!" Then he heard a loud sound. They seem like fighting. He just turned off the call and let his twins kill each other. He would get even from Samael when the right time comes. As of now, the only thing he could do is to get pissed off by Samael.

He stopped in a club, he parked his car first in the parking lot before entering the club. He just really went through in this club. He doesn't usually go to a club or bar. But there's no wrong in trying though. He was immediately blocked by bouncers as he tried to enter. Woah, that's fast.

"Don't worry, I'm at the right age," the two bouncers looked at each other before he was asked for an identification card. Security, huh.

After checking him, they let him enter the club. He placed his both hands inside his pockets. He was wearing black pants and polo with a necktie. He loosened his necktie and looked for a seat. The club looks fine. It looks clean and legal. There are also a lot of people since it's already nighttime, of course, the party starts at seven. Not bad for a club. This club also seems to be popular with some university students and especially the bachelor.

He sat in a stall in front of the bar counter. He immediately ordered a whiskey. He roamed his eyes around the place. Almost all the girls are looking at him. Desire and lust are in their eyes. He shook his head and smirked. Pathetic slut. Yeah, they are that kind of woman, slut.

"Even if you gave me that kind of look, I won't fall on your trap."

Girls are just all the same for him. They are all just the same species who want to get fucked by anyone. He licked his lower lip and closed his eyes. He let himself feel the ambiance of the surroundings while listening to the loud music, just for tonight, he will do anything for himself. The place is so loud. People were dancing behind him. He was even irritated because a group of girls is bumping on him like they are doing it purposely. He wants to shout at those people but he doesn't want to make a scene. Fortunately, they stopped when he glared at them. Fuck these people.

"Hey, handsome boy, wanna go somewhere?" he felt someone whispering in his left ear. It was a woman, he smelled the sweetness of the woman's perfume, and it irritates him more.

The way the woman talks is so sensual and sexy, any normal guy will like it. He even felt the woman caressing his hard abdomen, to his hard chest and goes down, trying to reach his manhood but before the woman do what she wants on him, he immediately grabbed her hand. Maybe normal men will like the woman's boldness and allow themselves to drown in worldly lust, but he's not a normal guy. He is not just a man who gets easily attracted to any woman. It was just Samael, alright. But he is Azazel, he has strong restraint in this situation. He's used to this kind of temptation.

"If I were you, you will leave me alone," he said while his eyes are still closed.

"Why? Don't you want to have fun tonight?" he frowned and looked at the girl wickedly. She suddenly looked scared of him but then immediately composing herself, still not leaving his side. It was as if she had swallowed the fear she have from him. The girl has some guts.

"Oh come on hottie, I know you want this too."

The woman started kissing his neck. But what the woman does to him has no effect. Instead, he became even more annoyed. To his annoyance, he grabbed the woman's elbow and pushed her on the floor. The woman fall hard, shivering as she looked at him again.

"How dare you!"

"I told you to leave me alone because I can hit a girl if I want to. And I just did it to you," he said coldly before closing his eyes again. Damn this woman.

"Jerk!" but he just ignored the woman and didn't even bother to glance at her.

"That's why I hate girls," he said angrily in a controlled voice and drank the glass of wine he was holding while his eyes are still closed.

All he wants for tonight is to get wasted. He felt so stressed suddenly.

He had been at that club for a few hours and he felt like he was already drunk so he decided to leave. He's so drunk to the point that he can't even walk properly. Yeah, that's nice.

Why did he even want to be wasted? Oh, he wanted to forget the past. He was trying to run away from his sins. He just only wants to have a normal and peaceful life. But the world is against what he wants. Because every time he tried to run away the past is chasing him.

He smirked at what he thought. Fuck them all. Fuck all the people.

He no longer had on his mind while crossing the road to went on his car that was parked near the club. Someone interrupted him even before he could get close. He burst out laughing like a lunatic.

"Oh, someone wants to fight me, come here, asshole. Fucking fight me."

He tightened his fists even while he was intoxicated. If his past will not allow him to live in peace. He doesn't have much of an option but to fight back. For him to never lose.

He's doing everything he can to live a normal life, but chaos is always chasing him down. Well, he guesses, he lived to break the damn rules.