The Night Before The Morning

Was I really doing this? I stared at the entrance wide-eyed, hoping it stayed this quiet, stayed this still while I deciphered my thoughts.

That was too much to ask.

"Hey!" Diego yelled from where he was pressed to his stomach by the men on top of him. "That's you fucking daydreaming again?"

One of the men palmed him hard against the back of his head. "Can you just shut the fuck up for once in your life?"

Their words were like echoes, shadows. Ones I wished would just cease existing.

The old man slowly limped up to me while I struggled with my thoughts, and I wasn’t aware until he placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Myles, I hate to tell you this, but stalling won’t help you people."

"I'm serious," I insisted, then swallowed when he raised a brow at me. "Wait here," I announced, sprinting back into the room.

Hurling the bed up was quick, but at the first sight of the money, I froze again, desperately dragging my hands through my hair. One feel of that money, and I'd have a leash around my neck for the rest of my life.

Then my mum’s pleading voice swirled up into my ears, and that’s all I needed to hurriedly place it in a wad.

Soon, I was rushing back out and pushing the money into the old man’s hands. "See?" I stammered. "I told you... I got the money...."

I could feel Mum’s breathless gaze on my back; for the first time, Diego was quiet while the old man inspected the money in puzzlement.

"Myles," our landlord looked up at me, "You wanna tell me what’s going on?"

I blinked.

"Where’d you get the money from?"

Another blink. Then one of the goons began to stand up from Diego, the gun dangling in his hold. "What do you care, boss? You got your money. That’s what matters."

"Do not..." the old man pointed. "Speak until you’re spoken to."

The man muttered apologies.

"Myles," the landlord came even closer, his voice dropping to a whisper, "You know I wasn’t going to kick you guys out. I just wanted to shake the bastard up."

One day, he would. There was no such thing as unlimited patience.

"I’m good," I said, pulling back to the entrance. "But I don’t mind if you continue teaching him a lesson." I looked down at the fucker on the ground. "In fact, I’d like that very much."

I could hear Diego yelling curses as he was dragged away, but that wasn’t enough to drown the screams in my head.

Not ready to walk back into the room, to face the empty space beneath the bed, I moved to the fridge for a glass of water.

For minutes, I stared at the almost empty containers—just a couple of bottled waters and a few cabbages—and although my throat was scorched, I slammed the door closed.

What have I done? What was I thinking?

"Myles..." I heard Mum behind me. "Myles, is there something you want to tell me?"

The quiet fear in her voice... I shut my eyes, feeling my rage at her melt into a puddle.

"Not now, Mum," I muttered. "I’ll explain later. Not now."

"Okay, bebé," she answered, and I didn’t feel her presence anymore.

An hour later, I was back at the mirror, the memories slamming into me like tsunamis, but this time I didn’t wince when I saw my reflection. I didn’t throw my jacket at it. I just thought, tightening my fingers around the phone in my hand.

There was nothing to lose anyway... wasn’t it just one night... just one night.

I could do one more night.

So, I found myself staring at the number I swore I’d never touch, hitting the unblock icon and typing.

"I’ll take your offer..." then delete. Too sure... perhaps he had found someone else to fulfill his needs, and the deal was off.

I scratched the back of my head, then began to type again, "Uh, hey, just wanted to ask if your offer is still up."

His reply came later, but it wasn’t him; it was another number, his driver asking where to pick me up.

As I buried my face into my hands, I whispered to myself, "Just one night."

***

"The young master is currently in his room... what did you say your name is?" asked the middle-aged man who had driven me down.

"Uh, Myles," I answered, then quickly added, "I’m a friend of Tristan’s."

I heard him scoff and mutter, "Yeah, right."

My fingers dug further into the handle of my bag, and I dropped my gaze back to the floor, unable to stomach the sight of his luxurious condo.

My stomach churned at the warm, comforting light overhead as we walked down a passage. I tried not to breathe in the perfumed air, but realized I was just punishing myself.

There was still time to turn back, but imagining the grumpy older man glaring at my back and scoffing more condescensions ate at my guts.

Before long, we stopped at a grand door. After ringing twice, the older man turned to me, then stretched out his hand. "Give me your hoodie."

I did as he asked, ignoring the urge to demand what he wanted it for. But when he snatched it, he gritted at the bag hanging on my arm. "Make sure you don’t steal anything."

With that, he turned around the same way we came. Did I have a right to feel offended? Not when I was in his space, I decided.

Besides, it would be the last time.

The door opened, and I looked up into emotionless grey eyes. A thick mop of dark hair rested damp on his head, despite him being fully clothed, and water dripped down his chin.

He shoved the door wide, walking further in. "Come in. Don’t slam the door."

In a moment of pettiness, I wondered if I should do just that, but seeing him stroll over to the drawers at the side of the room, rattling it open while massaging his temple, I decided not to.

Desperately searching for something, he finally pulled out a pill bottle and hastily popped three into his mouth.

I stood there, quietly watching him bent over the drawer in silence, hoping he’d get a seizure from the overdose.

When nothing happened, I snickered, "Why don’t you just do the world a favor and die?"

He heard. His lips twitched, but it wasn’t a smile. "Would that make you happy?"

I glared. "You don’t know how much."

His jaw clenched. In a swift move, he capped the bottle and dumped it on the drawer, but it clattered to the floor. He ignored it, walking to the settee opposite the bed.

He sat on it, legs wide apart and head thrown back, then sighed. "And you’re about to fuck me. How’s that?"

The organ in my chest clenched. Was he making fun of me? I shut my eyes. Fucker.

"Hey." He snapped his fingers. I opened my eyes. "I need you here."

"I’m here."

"Mind, soul, ass, and spirit."

He saw me wince and grinned. He exhaled again, then leaned back. "Alright then, get on with it."

Get on with... what?

"Seduce me, Myles."

My ears rang... Wait... what...?