The shrill sound of my alarm clock wasn’t what jolted me awake. It was the yelling. My stepfather’s voice cutting through the walls.
I stared up at the ceiling, straining to hear my mom’s voice fighting back, but it never came. It never will.. “If this was toast, the whole of America would be fucking dead!” His voice boomed again. I sighed, sitting up in bed. Pain shot from my hips and... lower down, a raw reminder of last night. It wasn't a dream. It happened. *“Changing the list?” The phone camera clicked. “You little devil.”* “Listen, it’s not what you think,” I had said, heart pounding. “Oh, I know *exactly* what I think.” His voice dripped with amusement. Shit. “But I’ll keep my mouth shut," he whispered, stepping closer, "if you fuck me." I shook my head, the memories flooding back with nauseating clarity. The worst part was I didn’t even know who he was. Yet, I had agreed. “Myles?” My mom’s voice, soft and hesitant, floated through the door. “You’re late for school, you know.” Before I could answer, his voice cut in. “Treating that boy like a fucking baby again? You never listen, do you, woman?” I bit my tongue to stop the retort burning in my chest and instead called out, “I’ll be out in a minute.” In the bathroom, I stared blankly at the wall, my mind running a million thoughts per second. What the hell was I thinking last night? No, the real question—who was that guy? He couldn’t have been a student with that massive tattoo and those scars on his back. And no way he was a teacher, not with the way he talked. *"Christ, you’re so tight. Urgh."* The red, scaly tattoo on his back as he walked out of the hotel door flashed in my mind. My stomach twisted. He had to be a visitor—someone passing through. I’d probably never see him again. That thought made me feel a little better. By the time I left my room, I was calm enough to kiss my mom on the cheek. “What about breakfast?” she asked, her eyes wide, the bruises around them barely hidden under her makeup. “I made pancakes. Your favorite.” “I’m good,” I muttered, watching her face fall. Guilt gnawed at me, so I kissed her forehead. “I’ll eat when I get back.” She nodded, but before the moment could settle, his gruff voice filled the kitchen again, ruining everything. “Isn’t it nice to have the luxury of choosing when to eat? Must be, when you don’t have to earn the damn food.” It wasn’t his money. My fists clenched, the words ready to explode out of me, but my mom squeezed my palm. "Myles, just go to school, okay?" I sighed, grabbed my bag, and turned to the door. Standing up to him was pointless. And she… she’d never leave. “Hey!” he called after me as I reached the door. “Why do you walk funny?” “Tripped down the stairs,” I muttered, slamming the door behind me. Dammit. If he noticed, others would too. I couldn’t miss school, though. I needed to know if Coach had discovered the missing list. I really shouldn’t have chewed it up like some desperate idiot. What the hell was I thinking? Was going to school the right move? I sighed. Anywhere was better than home. I arrived twenty minutes late, and the moment I saw the students gathered in hushed circles, I felt my stomach drop. The atmosphere was thick, electric with tension. Everyone was staring toward Coach Daniel’s office. I was so fucked. I pulled my hoodie up, ready to slip out unnoticed, but two hands grabbed my arm. “Son of a gun, where did you go last night?” Leo demanded. “Jade went to grab her bag, and poof, you vanished!” Before I could respond, Jade yanked my hoodie down, her face red with frustration. “I’m too young for a heart attack, you absolute idiot!” She started pounding her tiny fists against my shoulder. “Crazy, fine-ass hunky bitch!” “Ouch,” I muttered, rubbing my shoulder. I glanced toward the crowd of whispering students. They were still staring at Coach’s office, eyes wide with anticipation. Whatever had happened, it wasn’t just about a missing list. “Uh…” Jade cleared her throat, her voice hushed. “Tristan Medici’s in Coach’s office. The whole school’s losing its mind.” Of course, he was. My body tensed, anger simmering just below the surface. The golden boy had arrived. Big fucking deal. “You know,” Leo said casually, “you could join the figure skating club. It’s almost the same as hockey, just with more sequins.” Jade shot him a glare. “Leo, you’re so dumb.” She turned to me, eyes wide. “Myles is stiffer than a tree trunk.” “He could learn.” “You can’t teach an old chicken new tricks.” I raised an eyebrow. “Chicken?” She shrugged, grinning. “Would you rather I call you a dog?” Before I could answer, loud cheers erupted near the entrance. All heads turned, including mine, toward the boy walking beside Coach Daniel. Tristan Medici. The school's newest obsession. “Oh my God,” Jade breathed. “Guess this is the part where I tell myself I’m not bi,” Leo chuckled. I said nothing. My eyes, like everyone else’s, were locked on him—Tristan, with his perfect hair and stupid grin. He looked like he belonged on a magazine cover, not a hockey team. Everything about him screamed privilege. “He’s so hot,” someone nearby whispered. “I wanna have his babies,” another girl giggled. Yeah, great. He was perfect. Whatever. He looked like someone had carved him using God as his model. That raven-dark hair, the light gray eyes that reveal nothing except the stupid sly grin. And that body hidden beneath the joggers and cardigan. He smiled at whatever Coach Daniel was saying, and everyone swooned. I grimaced. What the hell was wrong with all of them? He wasn’t even all that. “Oh my God, look at that smile,” Jade sighed. “I’d let him bang me,” Leo said, dead serious. Jade and I turned to him. “What?! Look at him!” Leo defended himself, motioning toward Tristan. “You can’t blame me.” I rolled my eyes. My friends were useless. But why did it feel like Tristan was searching for someone in the crowd? His eyes swept over the students, scanning. Looking for his next girlfriend, no doubt. Natalie, probably. Sorority queen and prom princess. George would be dumped in a week. Maybe something good would come out of all this, after all. Another boy, a redhead, grabs Tristan's hand and pulls him toward the opposite direction while Tristan laughs. Of course, if I had no worries in the world, and everyone crushed on me, I'd laugh that hard, too. Fucking rich brat. "Speaking of which, Myles," Leo took his gaze off the leaving Tristan, "where did you go yesterday?" I had thought of a lie, 'I walked home.' I was ready to spit it out from my throat when Coach Daniel's voice hit me out of the blue. "Astor." He glared as he walked past me. "Get your ass to my office right this moment!" I swallowed.“Yes, Myles, what’s the answer?”I blinked, yanked out of my trance by the teacher’s voice. The whole class turned toward me, eyes wide, some barely stifling laughter. I stood up, trying to shake the fog from my mind.“Sir… could you repeat the question?”“Repeat the question?” He raised an eyebrow. “Caught you smiling. Figured you knew the answer.”If only class made me smile that much. But no, my smile was all because of the little chat I had with Coach Daniel earlier."I had a nap and realized I wasn’t fair to you. There’s a way to get you back on the team, but it’ll cost you your dignity."That “dignity” translated into being the water boy during training, just so I could hold on to a sliver of a chance of rejoining the team. It was humiliating, but at least it was something.“Sir, I have no idea.”“The answer is ‘cell,’” a soft voice offered from behind. “The smallest unit of life.”Natalie. My brows furrowed as I turned to see her offering a small, sympathetic smile. I nodded in
I dropped my gaze to my still throbbing fingers, feeling Coach's eyes on my face. It was the day after the brawl at the rink, and I hadn't even fully entered the school gate before Coach's voice came over the speakers, demanding to see me in his office. "...We had a deal, Myles. What were you thinking?!" I had no clue, but I knew what I thought after it all happened: run! And I did—taking my bag and the strange money home after the biology teacher discovered no one else's was missing. Things to worry about just kept multiplying. Now Coach stood up straight. "All you had to do was lay low." "Which I did." "That wasn’t laying low, Myles." "He fucking came at me!" When Coach said nothing, I quickly toned down my voice. "I know you're trying to help, but goddammit, it gets hard when you're punched in the midsection." Coach sighed and sat down. "I understand." He gestured for me to sit down too, but I didn’t. "That’s why I said it’s going to be hard. George doesn’t want y
**TRISTAN** My phone buzzed. One new message. *"You're sick… Use that money to get your head checked."* And right below it: *"This person is not contactable."* I pinched the bridge of my nose, holding back a chuckle as the coach stood in front of me. There was something about the brown-haired rascal that amused me—something I hadn’t quite figured out yet. Maybe it was the way he overflowed with emotion. *"You hate emotions."* Maybe. But they suited him—better than those coffee-brown eyes or the slight athletic physique hidden beneath oversized hoodies. *"He hates you."* Why should I care? At first, all I felt was guilt. The morning after, when I placed a hand on his shoulder and he flinched, I realized—his first time. And I hadn't even noticed. It was no coincidence he was the first I laid my eyes on when I walked into the school that evening. The brunette surrounded by friends and staring at the wall. Habits died hard, so once again, like the life I kept a secret from e
**MYLES** I gripped the marble sink, glaring at my reflection. The image of his smug smile wouldn’t leave my head. He’d looked at me like I was some kind of snack. *Snack?* Was that the best I could come up with? Christ, Myles. What the hell have you done? I staggered back until I hit the wall, sliding down to the floor. Never in a million years would I have guessed he was the one. Now that I knew—and had a clue where the money came from—there was only one option left: leave the country. I clutched my hair, frustration boiling inside. But that wasn’t possible. The next choice? Return the money and tell the bastard to back off. But I wasn’t sure I was ready to face him yet. A soft knock pulled me from my thoughts, followed by my mum’s voice. “Myles, are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting strange.” I raised my head, catching my pale reflection again. “Yeah... I’ll be out in a minute,” I called back, the words sounding distant even to me. There was a long silence b
Was I really doing this? I stared at the entrance wide-eyed, hoping it stayed this quiet, stayed this still while I deciphered my thoughts. That was too much to ask. "Hey!" Diego yelled from where he was pressed to his stomach by the men on top of him. "That's you fucking daydreaming again?" One of the men palmed him hard against the back of his head. "Can you just shut the fuck up for once in your life?" Their words were like echoes, shadows. Ones I wished would just cease existing. The old man slowly limped up to me while I struggled with my thoughts, and I wasn’t aware until he placed a hand on my shoulder. "Myles, I hate to tell you this, but stalling won’t help you people." "I'm serious," I insisted, then swallowed when he raised a brow at me. "Wait here," I announced, sprinting back into the room. Hurling the bed up was quick, but at the first sight of the money, I froze again, desperately dragging my hands through my hair. One feel of that money, and I'd have a le
**TRISTAN***"Seduce me, Myles."*I didn’t have to do this, but seeing him blush and lost for words was better than listening to him tell me how much he wanted me dead. The ache in my head throbbed, but I didn’t mind it, watching him attempt to drop his bag, then stop.I clenched my teeth against the chuckle threatening to escape. What was wrong with me? I thought, letting my eyes quickly flick to the window. Inexperience grated on my nerves, not make me laugh.It seemed I had only two emotions for Myles—annoyance and amusement."Or you can just ask me what to do," I muttered, turning to look at him again, finding his fingers hooked at the edge of his shirt. "But that would mean you pay me for lessons.""Just shut up, Medici," he whispered under his breath.I made a mental note to punish him for that. But he was back to being embarrassed, looking around the room for something. I waited. "Are these walls soundproofed?"They were, but seeing him flustered was a sight to enjoy, so I wh
**MYLES**I can hear his phone buzzing continuously and the crinkle of a wrapper, but I don’t want to look, even as I feel him position himself behind me. I’m scared he’ll see what he hears, and that smug smile will be back. But now, I’m ready for whatever comes, determined to withhold from him the satisfaction of tearing me apart.His hands run down my back, and I swallow, shutting my eyes but still feeling my walls shake. Then he presses against me, making sure I feel everything as he pushes in. My body stiffens, and he pauses as if giving me time to adjust. My cheeks burn—I’d feel better about myself if he’d just ram it in, so I could finally go home.“I’m going in,” he says. It’s not a question; it’s a declaration. I grip the sheets, and a few seconds later, he continues to slide in, his touch firm on my back.My toes curl, my lids shoot open, and my vision blurs. My knuckles go white as I wait for him to be fully in, but the bastard… by the time he’s fully inside, I feel weighted
I zipped up my black hoodie, slung my crossbody bag, and was about to slip out the door when her voice filled the room. "Cariño... ¿podemos hablar?" ,(Sweetheart... can we talk?)My heart dropped. Shit! In the chaos, I’d forgotten about Mum and the explanation she’d demand about the money. Couldn’t I just come up with something? But I’d always been a terrible liar, and hadn’t tested that flaw in years. Until now.I turned before she sensed my reluctance. Could I get away with “I’m late for school”? She stepped into the room, exhaustion darkening the circles under her eyes. "You weren’t home Saturday night, Myles.” Her tone was casual, but I heard the weight behind it. “I sat by the window in the living room waiting for you to come home, almost called the police because you…you don’t do that.”The clock ticked loudly, and I felt my heart pound as guilt crawled up my throat, shattering the wall I’d forced around it.“That shouldn’t worry me, right?” She laughed lightly, trying to ease
**A MONTH LATER** **JADE** "Good evening, students, parents, teachers, and anyone who accidentally wandered in thinking this was a free event with snacks," the principal began his speech with a playful smirk. The audience roared with laughter. Everyone except the three of us—Natalie, Leo, and me. I gave Leo a reassuring smirk. He was going to come. But the more I did that, the more I knew I was lying to myself. It had been a month since we'd last seen him, since that final day at the hospital. I had no clue if he was coming today. When we spoke last night on his new number, his answers had been vague. It was graduation. I never imagined our graduation would feel like this—just plain. Others looked like they were having fun, but maybe, if we could just believe Myles when he said he was alright, then maybe—just maybe—we could have fun too. "Today, we gather to celebrate the Class of 2010—a class so brilliant, so resilient, and so determined that even senioritis couldn’t
TRISTAN"Myles is awake," my uncle announced as soon as I slid into the car, the words falling from his lips like a storm. "He's been awake for two days."I turned to him, disbelief clouding my thoughts. The weight of his words sank in slowly, dawning slowly across my mind. "Two days?" I echoed, my voice disbelieving. "Jade said...""Jade lied," my uncle cut me off, his voice cool, almost amused. "He told her to lie to you. Now, why would he do that?" His gaze flicked to me for a moment, his eyes narrowing, as if searching for something deeper. "Could it be... that Myles doesn’t want to see you, Tristan?"I froze, my heart stumbling in my chest. Nico was testing me, prodding at my wounds just to see how I'd react. He could be lying, weaving his own twisted version of the truth, just to make me squirm. But then again... what if he wasn't lying? My uncle was never a liar. He wouldn't do that to me. The way Jade had sounded when we spoke yesterday... something had been off. But Myles w
TRISTAN I hadn’t played in the next match. I stayed in the locker room, waiting for it all to be over. And when it finally was—Sharks winning with points—Coach Daniel walked in and sat beside me. “I’m sorry I made you do it,” he murmured, his voice low and rough. He wasn’t looking at me, just staring at the wall, his hands clasped between his knees. “I didn’t know you two were that close. I understand why you two had to keep it a secret.” “It wasn’t a secret,” I cut in, my voice sharper than I intended. “I’m not closeted.” “Sorry,” Coach sighed, running a hand over his face. “I thought… I thought it would help. Give you something to focus on. But I see now I was wrong.” I didn’t answer. What was there to say? That Myles wasn’t just a teammate? That he wasn’t just a friend? That he was everything? “The team won,” he said after a moment, his tone lighter, like he was trying to shift the mood. “They pulled through. Because of you and Myles.” I didn’t respond, just stared at
TRISTAN My lids fluttered open, coming face to face with gray ceilings and dim light. It felt like a million monkeys were playing the banjo in my skull. I winced at the pain, swallowing hard. This looked like a hospital. How long was I out? Hopefully just a few hours. How was Myles? Had Jade replied to my messages? I pushed myself up, ignoring the pain pounding in my skull as I searched the bed for my phone. It couldn’t be here—I’d left it in the locker room at the stadium. No issues, though. All I had to do was borrow one anyway. “So that’s the game you play. Hockey?” That familiar voice came from behind me. “You played lovely—that’s what I would’ve said if you actually did. It looked like you half wanted to fail.” Uncle Nico appeared before me. “Why?” he mused. “You look surprised to see me.” “Not really,” I said. It was the truth. “Can I… have your phone for a minute? There’s a call I have to make.” He stood next to me, the amusement gone from his face. He tilted my h
JADEThe next two days, without Tristan occupying that seat beside Myles, I felt strange. The ward itself felt like a graveyard, the silence between Leo and Natalie growing heavier with each day. Filling the silence was the soft noise flowing from the TV. On it was Tristan, a god on the ice, Myles’ gear wrapped around him like a vice. He played like a zombie, programmed to floor the rink. But I knew it was his shattered heart. His rage.How Natalie convinced him to go? No clue. But he texted constantly—demanded photos, updates, proof Myles hadn’t slipped away. Judging by the hollows under his eyes on camera, I doubted he’d slept since leaving.I scrolled through my phone, thumb hovering over Tristan’s last text—”Tell me if he wakes up.”—but Myles hadn’t so much as twitched.Natalie stood rigid by the window, her reflection warped in the rain-streaked glass. Leo slouched in the corner, jaw clenched, eyes bloodshot. The TV droned in the background, replaying clips of Tristan’s game.
TRISTAN “…What the fuck are you saying?!” Tristan gritted, eyes blazing. I was surprised Coach wasn’t ash. “Tristan, listen—” “To you?” Disbelief and rage crackled in those grays. “Myles sacrificed every damn thing for you, for the team, but you’re ready to discard him? Replace him while he’s fighting to breathe? Why should I listen?” Fists coiled, he stalked to the window, staring blind at the glass. I doubted he saw anything but the ghost of Myles’ smirk before he became this. “I get it,” Coach said after a minute of suffocating silence. “You’re grieving. We all are. But this isn’t about Myles anymore.” Every word was gasoline, fueling Tristan’s rage. His shoulders tensed, knuckles bone-white. “He better stop talkin’,” Natalie muttered under her breath, catching Tristan’s first lethal glare. She knew. We all did. “Myles was a great Forward. I wish—more than anyone—he could be up there instead of you, but…” “Then postpone the fucking game until he gets better!” Tris
TRISTAN "...Let me get this straight," the investigator had said, pushing the recorder between us. "You knew when he left but pretended to be asleep. Two hours later, he was shot, but you didn't deem it fit to call him?" I'm sprawled on the chair, watching it all fade to oblivion. The seat, although now empty, in my head is occupied—by the thoughts of the older guy, a deep gash through his skull, spilling blood and brain matter on the table. "Your relationship with the victim—was it private?" "There... was no relationship." "No relationship, hmm... Then please, Mr. Tristan, tell me what it was all about and why it was private." "It was a deal." "What was the deal about?" "I can't tell. Myles wanted it private." "Myles, huh... or you? Are you out of the closet yet? Is it too far-fetched to say the victim wanted something more than being hidden?" "Yes." "Yes what?" "Too far-fetched. I was never in the closet." I had folded my hands across my chest, the mental i
JADE"I wish I had good news, but it was a close-range injury… so we wait." That’s what the doctor told us. "Wait for what?" Leo had asked, his voice steady, but I caught the way his fingers curled protectively around Natalie’s arm, rubbing soothing circles as she sobbed into his shoulder. The doctor had exhaled, a slow, measured breath. But it wasn’t the breath of someone delivering hope. No, it was hesitation—the kind that meant we weren’t just waiting for Myles to wake up. We were waiting for a sign of life. Or none at all.I couldn't cry. The numbness had settled deep, coiling around my chest, weighing my limbs down until I could only stare out the hospital window. The city outside moved as if nothing had happened—cars speeding by, people laughing, living as of I wasn't shattering inside. But inside this sterile room, time had frozen, trapped in the reaction of one gunshot. The neighbors heard it. They were the ones who found him. If they hadn't... My stomach churned
TRISTAN“…You saw Myles.” Al’s voice came from behind. I turned to find him by the door of the minibar, his eyes pinned on me as I laid cross-legged on the sofa. “I’m surprised you’re not drinking yourself dead.” It had crossed my mind—since last night, watching as he climbed into the cab without looking back. Now, I was sprawled on a settee in my own room, hating my own existence. I had wanted him to stay… then why, why couldn’t I just say it out loud? Tell him I wanted to see him again? Because he didn’t want that… He had a bright future ahead of him. The deal was over. There was nothing to hold him back. I shut my eyes, but I… I hadn’t wanted him to leave. I had thought of slamming the door at El Refugio shut so he never left me. Who was this person? This Tristan? What the fuck was wrong with him? “You didn’t tell him, then?” I opened my eyes, puzzlement etching my brows as I watched Al walk over to the mini counter, picking out a glass. “Tell him what?” Al shook hi