IT'S ONLY the first week of November, but there's an extra chill in the air as I'm the last to exit the car back at my parents' house for the post-funeral luncheon. The cold set into my bones as we stood outside at the gravesite and I worry I'll never be warm again. Of course I've been cold for more than the last month, so this might be my new condition. Cold. A little dead to the world.The three of us are silent as we walk in the house we once shared, but never will again. My sister continues to the kitchen while my father and I stop in the living room to our right. He sits in the old green chair he's called his for more years than I remember, and I take a place on the matching couch. It doesn't actually match, but its close enough in color that when my mother found it a few years ago she bought it on sight. Then sent me pictures and text messages for the next week about how amazing it was to find a piece of furniture the exact hideous pea green color of Dad's favorite chair. She l
The neon green cup with the cat in the center sits on the edge of my kitchen counter. Right below it on the floor, my trash can waits. It will take one quick flick of my hand to send the cheap souvenir container over into the bin. Then it's a simple tie job before I walk the bag to the trash and throw away a piece of Trey. I should do it.I lean with my back against the opposite counter and stare at the cup with narrow eyes. My lips pucker as I visualize the cup falling off the edge with a small clink as it hits the glass container of spoiled mayo. Cleaning out my fridge was not a top priority before I jumped on a plane almost two months ago. All I need to do is reach across the space and tap the cup in. I can do it.A sigh escapes my lips and I grab the cup and toss it on the top of my kitchen packing box. I'm weak. What am I going to do about it? Plus, the kitchen box wasn't even close to full, so one more item won't hurt it. Besides a few favorite mugs and the cat cup, everythin
I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose both my pinkie toes after today. Regardless of how comfortable your shoes look, they all hurt after six hours on your feet. I'm not sure what's worse — only having eight toes after I finish my first shift at Bonnie's Café or the possibility I may have to buy a pair of those ugly lunch lady shoes.I limp behind the black counter with my empty coffee pot in hand and start the task of making a fresh batch. In order to keep some weight off my aching feet, I switch from foot to foot to find a small amount of relief."You need more support in your arches," Jamie, my trainer and coworker for this shift, tosses my way when he comes to stand beside me at the coffee pot.Jamie throws the white towel he used to clean off the tables in the sink to our right and leans a hip on the counter, turning his body to face mine. His upper arm muscles bulge stretching his official black Bonnie's polos shirt at the hem of the short sleeve. It takes me a minute to pry my
"Do you need a ride to work today?" Aspen asks as she enters the small tiled kitchen."No, it's two blocks and I'm not due in for a while." I don't admit my secondary reason, a promise to myself that I would interrupt Aspen's life as little as possible while I'm here. The woman barely knows me, but she's opened her place without anything expected in return. It's more than I asked and I'm clueless as to how to repay her. The $500 in rent I'll force her to take doesn't feel like enough.Aspen peeks her head into the living room where I sit on top of my makeshift bed now a couch again. When she looks back at me, her face is scrunched up on one side in question. "I hope the couch was okay. You folded it out, right?""Yeah, I picked it up already, but I slept great. Thank you."I set my alarm for six to make sure the area lacked all evidence of my sleeping here before she left her room."Don't worry about it every day. No one is ever here." She points to the refrigerator. "Rule 4:
"We're tag teaming lunch again?" Jamie's question comes from behind me, and I jump jerking the coffee pot but without spilling any of the hot liquid inside.By the time I turn around to face him, there's a genuine smile in residence on my face. "Yup, it's the dream team together again." I smack him on the arm with a move that's so reminiscent of my mother my breath hitches.My new coworker doesn't notice my slip and turns back to the other side of the counter to start our prep for the upcoming lunch rush. He balances on the heels of his feet and leans into the case, his muscles flex stretching his black polo shirt as he moves plates around. I might spend a few too many minutes watching him with my back against the opposite counter.The restaurant is peaceful now so my time isn't interrupted with a needy customer. It's the quiet time of day, the time that pays the least in tips. People stop in for a muffin or coffee — quick orders that don't require them to sit. Then as we get clo
Bonnie's was swamped at lunch giving me legitimate reasons to ignore Trey as he sat in his little corner table. Oh and the tips. My apron pocket bulges with the cash left on the tables and there's always more from those who paid with credit cards. If this is the underpaying shift, I can't imagine what a dinner would net me. Screw fifty, at this rate I might be able to pay my debt off by forty-five.Jamie and I made a great team even though it was a steady flow of customers. My steps were light as I raced around, bouncing from the high of being busy. It was a great shift — except for the fact Trey's still here.He didn't leave. Six hours and five cokes he sat at his little perch and watched me. I waited for him to at least visit the bathroom so I could sneak in, bus his table, and sit someone else there, but as if he could read my plan the man never moved. Even after drink number five. Is he a camel? All that earlier bravado leaked away the longer he sat there... for six hours.Th
Against all the wishes I made over the last five minutes, Trey is still here when I step past the counter into the main area of the diner. He still hasn't touched his salad and his eyes track my movements across the white titled floor — probably so he can intervene if I try to make a run for it. He's right to be concerned. I considered it while in the back."You're here."I sit in the wooden chair on the other side of Trey's small table and cross one leg over the other.He leans his body further over the table. "You promise to stay here?""Yes."Trey's eyes narrow for a fraction of a second. "Say you promise.""Fine," I blow out a breath in frustration. "I promise I'll sit and hear you out. Now talk."The legs of his chair scrape on the floor as he stands. "I need to take a quick break. I'll be back."He doesn't look behind him, but walks with deliberate and quick steps to the back of the restaurant toward the bathrooms. I laugh at him. I guess he's not a camel after al
"I'm so confused." I shake my head. "You were dating but not dating? Were you sleeping together, but not sleeping together too?" The question slips out, hostile tone and all.Trey's eyes fall to the table. "There was a time we were sleeping together semi-regularly."It sounds like he's tried to work his answer in a way it almost sounds clinical so it won't hurt so much, but Trey obviously doesn't understand women. Those words suck regardless of how much sugar you put on them."There was a time?""Mari and I haven't had... that part of our relationship in a while. Way before August," he references the time we were on the beach together. "We've both dated other people in secret over the years."I flinch at her invading my special memories. "You get how ridiculous this sounds right? Did I fall into a San Francisco based soap opera? This is really the world you live in?" I want to believe him, but the whole explanation feels too crazy to be real. Even if he's serious, when has a