Richie woke up from the coma. What does that mean for me?Hudson's words play on repeat in my brain. Over and over and over and over.Richie woke up.My face pales even though my body readies to run and adrenaline floods my system. I'm ready to stand up and flee from the office building that felt safe a few minutes earlier.I'm not worried because he's woken up, but because now I don't know what happens next. Who will he name as having been on the scene? How much detail will he be able to give? Will he be the one to out my lies? Why haven't I confessed sooner?A sickening sensation grows in my stomach. I'm too aware the happy life I had a minute ago is about to come crashing down around the building. Will I be buried under the rubble or will the same fate who brought me Hudson step in to get me out of this mess, too?Did she fuck with me after all?"Is he okay?" I ask when I realize the silence stretched between Hudson and me for too long. Hudson thinks I should be happy
Hudson steers me by the arm to our left and opens the door to a brightly lit restaurant. I hadn't even realized we left the police station, and it's not until the smells of baking bread and marinara sauce invade my senses I realize we're in a pizzeria."What are we doing here?" I ask, my throat scratchy and the words soft.He doesn't answer me, but walks right up to the counter and orders two slices to go.I don't catch what he orders, but I'm in no mood to eat so it doesn't matter. "Hudson, what are you doing?"His eyes roll over my body with sadness in them. It only makes me worse. "You look upset. I figured food would help."He thinks a slice of pizza can help? Hudson's never been further from the truth. Nothing will help me now.I watch the pizzeria worker take two slices of pizza and put them in the oven to heat up. It's easier to watch her than look at Hudson. I'm scared he can see through my lies."There's something upsetting you, Amanda. You need to tell me what's
I cross my arms matching his stance. "First off, don't threaten me, and secondly you can't leave. Let's not forget you're being paid to be here.""I can tell Ridge to send someone else," he lobs the threat in my direction and then smirks like he thinks he's won.But Hudson doesn't have Marissa for a best friend. "What? You'll tell your boss you can't handle a white girl from San Francisco?" If there's one thing Marissa has taught me in our years of friendship, it's when in doubt go for their manliness.His face falls, and he doesn't comment.Thought so."You're hiding something, Amanda.""You've known me for less than a month. You don't know me." Okay, that was a little childish but sometimes the truth comes out like a two-year-old. Doesn't make it not the truth."I can't protect you if you don't tell me what happened."Now it's my turn to be tight lipped. Hudson has a point. It's that I'm not sure who to trust and who to leave hanging on the side of the road. Hudson ca
Have you ever gone twenty-four hours not talking to someone?I have. Actually, we're going on our number twenty-five right now. They say silence is golden, but sometimes it sucks donkey balls. Big hairy giant donkey balls.The main problem is Hudson doesn't know me as well as he thinks he does, so every minute we sit here in silence I get more irritated. And then I get sad and then I get more irritated he let me ride a roller coaster of emotion for the last day. What he hasn't anticipated is at some point the words I haven't spoken to him are going to come flying out. Like a child who eats too much cotton candy and then rides the tilt-a-whirl.It won't be pretty. That's for sure.Not only are we not speaking to one another, but apparently, we're not even sharing the same room since Hudson set himself up with a makeshift workstation at my dining room table and hasn't left since we returned home from work. It means when there's a knock on the door he's able to jump up and have th
I walk out the door with Marissa's final piece of advice.I've never listened to Marissa before, but it's worked for the other girls so now is as good a time as any. The problem is she told me what I should do, but not how to do it. Her advice of walking in my apartment and telling him what's up sounded easier when she was talking it out. I should have taken notes.My brothers have been taking my crap for most of their lives. This should be an easy task. Walk in, tell him we're no longer fighting, and move on with life. Yet, for some reason, I don't think it will be so simple.The door isn't locked and as soon as I twist the handle Hudson is out of his chair and halfway across the room."I'm glad you're still alive," he says standing with his arms crossed in a pose I consider Hudson's cranky look.My eyes narrow and the forced smile I've been wearing drops. Screw Marissa. This man isn't even getting a non-apology. "I'm so glad you're concerned."He huffs. "I am concerned. T
He trails a finger around my belly button, the nerves firing over my body as Hudson kisses a circle around it. His tongue dips in the tiny hole and he sucks.My back arches. "Oh my Word."Hudson chuckles, undoing the top on of my pants. "We'll consider this our first bout of makeup sex. I don't think we'll fight often, so I plan to make it very memorable."If this is one of his ideas, I don't plan to argue. He's allowed to go full steam ahead.When he doesn't hear any objections — silly man, why would he expect any — Hudson finishes removing the tight black jeans I'd put on after work today. "I love your ass in these pants. Where did you buy them? Let's get you five more pair.""The mall, I think." I answer truthfully as best as possible. My brain's scattered as my blood pools to my lower regions. I'm sure I bought them during a random shopping trip with Aspen.The jeans and underwear get caught around my ankles and Hudson lifts my legs, taking his time pulling them over my
"Sorry, Dean, I've got to get home. Lots of Christmas prep to do."There's no time to chase another raid with so much work to do for Aspen's Christmas celebration. They overdo it for most holidays, but the big ones are the worst.He nods, accepting the answer. I rarely take him up on offers for more raiding or the hundred times he's asked me out for coffee. "Okay, see you next time." He waves, following a large group of people making their way to cars and bikes before heading toward the wharf.I step onto the sidewalk outside the baseball stadium to look for a cab. The road is eerily quiet since there isn't baseball in December and the people from the raid snatched up the cabs. Even though Grant, Clare's boyfriend would kill me, I scroll through my phone and find the Uber app. If I have to call for a ride anyway, I should at least make it a cheap one. He'd be pissed over how close I am to his neighborhood without someone here with me, but it's too late to worry about that now.
"That's your answer?" Hudson's eyebrows lift.I hit my knee against his. "Hudson."He sighs in agitation."Well, Drew, the way I look at it Amanda doesn't have much to tell. It sounds to me as if in her story you were a friend who was there to help her out. Who didn't want to get involved in a police investigation. But before I can trust her opinion that you're a nice guy, I need proof."Drew laughs even though it's inappropriate for the time. "I don't think I'm a nice guy, but thanks, Amanda.""Um, you're welcome?""I started working construction jobs part time when Clare and I were in foster care." He stops talking right as the story gets good."But you don't do construction work now, do you?" Hudson asks the exact question I've been thinking.It's like pulling teeth to get facts out of Drew, but what he doesn't understand is Hudson will have no qualms telling Ben if he's not satisfied with his answers."Yes and no. From time to time my boss asks me for extra favors
Six months later"I thought you were painting this room silver?" Hudson asks dropping his half of the couch inside of our brand-new tiny living room. That's not fair. It's bigger than the apartment when I lived with Marissa. Living here will be like me having my own special mansion. Except this time the rent is higher.I put my end of the couch down and then promptly sit at the end of it. I've done my part of moving. This is why we hired movers. I don't know what it is about men wanting to lift heavy objects. Plus, it's not like there's much furniture to move. The old apartment came furnished. This stuff is new.I look at the wall, which shimmers in the bright light from our large open window in the new living room. "I did. It's Silver Fox.""This color is gray.""No, it's Silver Fox.""It looks gray to me."I shake my head in dismay. "Gray is darker."He nods slowly. "Uh-huh. Whatever you say."Hudson and I have been living together since he made the permanent move t
A few weeks later"Wow, Finn hooked you up." My eyes blink a few times trying to adjust to the overpowering glare of so many television screens in one room.Hudson laughs as he steps behind me. "Ridge taught me you can never have too many cameras.""Well, you definitely put his words into practice." No less than thirty flat screen TVs line a wall in the room Finn and Hudson started calling the war room. I'm pretty sure Finn has a camera everywhere Aspen may go in San Francisco. There is even one in the comic shop. The transition has gone well for the most part. Finn and Aspen had a heated debate over her bodyguard situation.Once Hudson accepted the position, he didn't waste time. It's been less than three weeks and he has a war room set up and is spying on half the residents of the city. My man gets shit done."Are you happy?" I ask turning around so we are face to face.Hudson rolls his eyes and says something silently to the ceiling of the room. He's recently taken up pr
The glass automatic door at the airport entrance slides open and I saunter in with a purpose. No woman has ever been as determined as I am to put a man in his place. Full Marissa style.And then maybe win him back. It depends on his response. I've been through tons of shit the last few weeks. I need someone who can handle me and won't chicken out.Aspen and Finn checked me out of the hospital and then took me back to my apartment making me promise I wouldn't leave when I asked to be alone. My mother even listened when I told her it was a great time to visit my brother in Washington. He'll love it.Besides my shattered heart, I'm medically fine. There's no reason for people to be stuck hovering around me. Hurt or not, I've still peopled too much these last few days, so it wasn't hard to press that I needed quiet time. I promised to head right into bed and sleep for a few more days.But I've broken many promises lately. And kept secrets. I am not the same girl I was last year. An
I hate to be a bad friend — who am I kidding, I'm always the bad friend — but Aspen could not have picked a worse time to make her visit. And I love her. She was here all day yesterday. Getting water, refilling water, fluffing my pillow and accidentally pulling on my IV before doing it again while apologizing for pulling on the IV. Hudson and I haven't had two minutes to ourselves. I tried to fake sleep yesterday afternoon, but then they stood around the bed looking and me and whispering."Do you need your pillow fluffed?" she asks for the thousandth time. It's become her filler question. What she asks me if she doesn't know what else to ask.I shake my head, giving Finn my best "calm her down" look, but he doesn't notice. He's so madly in love with Aspen he thinks everything she does is adorable. "I'm fine, Aspen. Relax."My best friend is definitely more put together than Hudson in the last two days, but not by much. Her hair is flat on one side, a little curly on the other, an
A STEADY STREAM of beeps wakes me up to a stream of light.A hospital. It's the place I've woken up the last two days. I can't complain. It's one hundred times better than a concrete floor in an abandoned factory in Oakland. Even still I fight the panic as my brain comes into consciousness. The hospital therapist says eventually there will come a day when I don't wake up ready to flee, but I'm not sure I believe her.My awake body is heavy and sluggish. Yesterday I spent most the day sleeping as my conscious mind worked around what happened after I was taken from the sidewalk in front of Cosmo's.Hudson was shot. I watched it with my own eyes. What I didn't know at the time was the bullet grazed the side of his body and most of his injury was due to the shock of being shot. Even though my mind didn't want to believe it at the time, he led the charge to rescue me. And yes, he absolutely shot Jimmy in the head — a scene I never ever want to see again, but one that plays on repeat e
Breathe. I hit reality with a start. Tears form as I blink my eyes to open them. My shoulder hurts, a tingling stiff sensation like I slept on it wrong. At one point I must have broken out in a cold sweat and my skin is clammy, moist yet chilled. My knuckle scrapes the hard ground underneath my body as I sit up and the events of what happened flood back. It wasn't a bad dream. I've been taken right from the front of Cosmo's. Kidnapped.They shot Hudson.I have no idea how long I slept or where I am. No longer in the van, the room is dark around me and it takes longer than I want for my eyes to adjust. Of course, there's no positive to be found when they do. Sawdust and dirt smells permeate the air. On the ground there's not only cold hard concrete but sharp pieces of wood. I wipe a few from my pants legs only to have them stick to the skin of my fingers.As I try to stand, there's a clink of metal. I tug my foot to find it doesn't move. My leg is bolted to the ground with thick m
"Are you sure you won't walk in there and start crying?" Hudson asks as we stop in front of Cosmo's Comics and Café.I take a deep breath and check myself before I answer because frankly he's probably right to be worried. It's been two days since we met with Drew at the restaurant in Oakland and I spent most of that night crying. I haven't talked to anyone since then. More than likely they think I've been taking this time to apologize to Hudson. He promises he's forgiven and forgotten and even understands why it took so long.Hudson spent the last few days consoling me as I came to terms with finally admitting what happened that night and saying goodbye to Drew if only in my own mind. He's been perfect. He didn't push or yell at me to do it faster or tell me I was being ridiculous. He listened and held me when I needed him. I couldn't ask for a better man.Hudson is everything I've ever wanted in a guy. Sensitive enough to figure out when I'm hurting, but strong enough to tell me
"That's your answer?" Hudson's eyebrows lift.I hit my knee against his. "Hudson."He sighs in agitation."Well, Drew, the way I look at it Amanda doesn't have much to tell. It sounds to me as if in her story you were a friend who was there to help her out. Who didn't want to get involved in a police investigation. But before I can trust her opinion that you're a nice guy, I need proof."Drew laughs even though it's inappropriate for the time. "I don't think I'm a nice guy, but thanks, Amanda.""Um, you're welcome?""I started working construction jobs part time when Clare and I were in foster care." He stops talking right as the story gets good."But you don't do construction work now, do you?" Hudson asks the exact question I've been thinking.It's like pulling teeth to get facts out of Drew, but what he doesn't understand is Hudson will have no qualms telling Ben if he's not satisfied with his answers."Yes and no. From time to time my boss asks me for extra favors
"Sorry, Dean, I've got to get home. Lots of Christmas prep to do."There's no time to chase another raid with so much work to do for Aspen's Christmas celebration. They overdo it for most holidays, but the big ones are the worst.He nods, accepting the answer. I rarely take him up on offers for more raiding or the hundred times he's asked me out for coffee. "Okay, see you next time." He waves, following a large group of people making their way to cars and bikes before heading toward the wharf.I step onto the sidewalk outside the baseball stadium to look for a cab. The road is eerily quiet since there isn't baseball in December and the people from the raid snatched up the cabs. Even though Grant, Clare's boyfriend would kill me, I scroll through my phone and find the Uber app. If I have to call for a ride anyway, I should at least make it a cheap one. He'd be pissed over how close I am to his neighborhood without someone here with me, but it's too late to worry about that now.