Cupcake, the younger of my two guinea pigs, squeaks in her cage and runs in a circle. Her little feet kick out bedding onto the floor. Her reddish brown spotted white body disappears under the little hammock in her cage. The space is tiny, so she kicks out her sister guinea pig, Ginny, a black, brown, and white combination who sheds hair anytime you look at her. She's worse than a dog. But I couldn't get a dog past Ryland's vigilant eyes. Quite frankly the only reason my guinea pigs have gone so long without being noticed is Ryland never enters my apartment. Marissa is sure to keep him far away from the cage and the possibility he'll hear them. She finds my flouting of the no pet rule hilarious.Hudson recoils even though he's nowhere near her splash zone. "What is that?""A guinea pig. You've never seen a guinea pig?"Hudson steps closer hesitantly. "Not in person. It's a giant furry rat.""Hey! Cupcake doesn't like to be described as a rat." I open the top of the guinea pig h
A line of sunshine drapes across my face from the open window, and I stretch before pulling back the covers. Outside the morning is foggy although sunlight still seeps past the clouds. It looks like it does every other day in San Francisco. There's no white stuff littering the ground as you'd expect when you wake up on Christmas morning. It's completely different from growing up in the Midwest.I'm not as bad as Aspen, who walks around in enough snow gear she looks like she's going on an Arctic expedition every time it gets below forty degrees, but I'll admit the longer I'm in San Francisco the less I miss the white stuff. Everything is a tad bit happier when you're not covered in frozen water.I may be in my mid-twenties, but this is the first Christmas I didn't spend with family. It's sad but exciting. I've discovered what it's like to be a grown-up. The tiny apartment is quiet when I open the bedroom door and walk my way to the kitchen."Good morning," a male voice calls from
Hudson stacks a few pancakes on a plate he grabbed from another cupboard without asking where they were. "Ridge, my boss, planned a big family gathering and invited us to attend.""That's nice."Hudson nods, not lifting his eyes from the pancakes. "He's a good guy. Most of the people he's brought into his security business are out of town. He does his best to make us feel like a family.Hudson slides me a plate, pancakes piled high, and I stop it moments before it falls off the edge of the counter. Next comes a bottle of syrup from my refrigerator. Where did it come from? I've got to get better at adulting."Thanks," I say as he hands me a fork.The phone vibrates on the counter next to my plate and I read the text with a smile on my face."That's a pretty big smile for Christmas morning," Hudson says stacking pancakes on a second plate. "Boyfriend?"My face heats and I slowly slide the phone away without responding to the text. "No," I say, shaking my head. "A bunch of f
I pretend to think for a second. Seagulls fly over the ocean, squawking as they dip into the water at the early morning hour. The city stretches on for miles in front of us. When you're standing on a street in San Francisco, you can't imagine how large or beautiful the area is. Get a few miles out in Sausalito and the rolling hills that make us famous for our steep roads are amazing. It's my favorite view, even better than seeing it from stories above in one of the high-rises.When I decide I've faked it long enough, I smack my lips and answer. "I'm not sure, but he didn't speak Russian and one time I read this book by Jenn Frederick with a hitman and he didn't remind me of that character.""He doesn't remind you of a character in a book you read?""No.""The Russian mob doesn't walk around speaking Russian. They've been in the US for centuries. They are as American as you and me. It doesn't make them any less dangerous."A few of his words sink in, but when it comes right do
I shake my head. "No. Do you want to go?" Obviously, he does, but Hudson is a guy you ask first.Hudson's pinched lips grow into a smile and he nods. "If you're okay with it," he says trying to play it off like I can't read the excitement ready to burst out of him.I laugh and walk to the bus. "Let's go."The bus driver smiles and watches me board, but Hudson stays behind making sure he can't pay for the tickets. I don't turn my nose up to a free ride anywhere. When he finally sits beside me at the front of the bus, he's vibrating with energy."Amanda, you've been in San Francisco how long and never made it to the woods?"I shrug. I'm not really a tree girl. If for some reason nature calls, I head to Golden Gate Park for a stroll on a paved surface. "Do you want the window seat?" I may not have been to the woods but Hudson will enjoy the view more.Hudson shakes his head, his nose crinkling even though his eyes stare out the window scanning the area. "I locked the car, but
Hudson stops walking in the front of the big picture window of Cosmo's Comics and Café. He looks to the window, looks up the street, looks at me, and then sighs. His sighs are never a good sign."Let me get this straight. Every Sunday a group of millionaires get together in this comic shop," he says pointing at the window. "And you sit in front of this big ass window right out front?""Yup." I've learned it's no use fighting him when he uses his really, Amanda tone. And technically what he said is correct. The couches our group occupies set further back in the building so we aren't right next to the window, but I've learned Hudson is not one you want to argue with when it comes to security. Last night he spent over an hour explaining why you should never hire a phone or cable company to provide your alarm system. I'm still confused, quite honestly. I mean, they call the police for you and isn't that what a security company does? What's the big deal? But after spending an awesome da
Aspen widens her eyes like she's trying to lift her eyebrows in the air but fails horribly. "Thanks, Simone. Anyway, see!"One of the customers from Jason's store, wearing a pair of dark color corduroys and a light blue button-down sweater approaches our small group. He moves to the right, getting closer to the wall where the shelves of dolls are displayed — or action figures as the guys call them. He has his eyes set on one on the middle shelf, his arm outstretched to grab it, but before he can make contact, Hudson steps between him and the merchandise."I don't think so." He shoos him away from our small group. To avoid embarrassment, I become super interested in the edge of my shoe. Hopefully they've forgotten the big tall hunky male is with me."Next topic," Marissa says. "Can we discuss why Amanda is here with a bodyguard?""We're avoiding his big ears and elephant trunk." Aspen smiles in my direction and lifts one shoulder slightly higher in a half shrug.It's okay. It'
"Sooo, what did you think of the girls?" I ask Hudson as I push my key into my apartment door.The key sticks and I'm forced to pull it out and put it in correctly before I get the door unlocked. It doesn't help that I do everything while facing Hudson with an annoyed expression rather than keeping an eye on the lock. Before he got here, I didn't lock the door. I mean we have a code to gain access to the top floor and my only neighbors are Marissa and Ryland. Neither of them will break in and steal my stuff or kill me. But Hudson refused to leave for Sunday brunch until I locked the door behind us. I had to dig around to even find my key. He's worse than one of my brothers."Are they always so... loud?" he asks when I finally get the door open and walk inside, not waiting for him.I laugh. "Yes."Cupcake and Ginny squeak loudly in their cage, the sound carrying through the whole apartment. Thank goodness Ryland has never asked to visit. I'd be screwed.I turn, intending to go
Six months later"I thought you were painting this room silver?" Hudson asks dropping his half of the couch inside of our brand-new tiny living room. That's not fair. It's bigger than the apartment when I lived with Marissa. Living here will be like me having my own special mansion. Except this time the rent is higher.I put my end of the couch down and then promptly sit at the end of it. I've done my part of moving. This is why we hired movers. I don't know what it is about men wanting to lift heavy objects. Plus, it's not like there's much furniture to move. The old apartment came furnished. This stuff is new.I look at the wall, which shimmers in the bright light from our large open window in the new living room. "I did. It's Silver Fox.""This color is gray.""No, it's Silver Fox.""It looks gray to me."I shake my head in dismay. "Gray is darker."He nods slowly. "Uh-huh. Whatever you say."Hudson and I have been living together since he made the permanent move t
A few weeks later"Wow, Finn hooked you up." My eyes blink a few times trying to adjust to the overpowering glare of so many television screens in one room.Hudson laughs as he steps behind me. "Ridge taught me you can never have too many cameras.""Well, you definitely put his words into practice." No less than thirty flat screen TVs line a wall in the room Finn and Hudson started calling the war room. I'm pretty sure Finn has a camera everywhere Aspen may go in San Francisco. There is even one in the comic shop. The transition has gone well for the most part. Finn and Aspen had a heated debate over her bodyguard situation.Once Hudson accepted the position, he didn't waste time. It's been less than three weeks and he has a war room set up and is spying on half the residents of the city. My man gets shit done."Are you happy?" I ask turning around so we are face to face.Hudson rolls his eyes and says something silently to the ceiling of the room. He's recently taken up pr
The glass automatic door at the airport entrance slides open and I saunter in with a purpose. No woman has ever been as determined as I am to put a man in his place. Full Marissa style.And then maybe win him back. It depends on his response. I've been through tons of shit the last few weeks. I need someone who can handle me and won't chicken out.Aspen and Finn checked me out of the hospital and then took me back to my apartment making me promise I wouldn't leave when I asked to be alone. My mother even listened when I told her it was a great time to visit my brother in Washington. He'll love it.Besides my shattered heart, I'm medically fine. There's no reason for people to be stuck hovering around me. Hurt or not, I've still peopled too much these last few days, so it wasn't hard to press that I needed quiet time. I promised to head right into bed and sleep for a few more days.But I've broken many promises lately. And kept secrets. I am not the same girl I was last year. An
I hate to be a bad friend — who am I kidding, I'm always the bad friend — but Aspen could not have picked a worse time to make her visit. And I love her. She was here all day yesterday. Getting water, refilling water, fluffing my pillow and accidentally pulling on my IV before doing it again while apologizing for pulling on the IV. Hudson and I haven't had two minutes to ourselves. I tried to fake sleep yesterday afternoon, but then they stood around the bed looking and me and whispering."Do you need your pillow fluffed?" she asks for the thousandth time. It's become her filler question. What she asks me if she doesn't know what else to ask.I shake my head, giving Finn my best "calm her down" look, but he doesn't notice. He's so madly in love with Aspen he thinks everything she does is adorable. "I'm fine, Aspen. Relax."My best friend is definitely more put together than Hudson in the last two days, but not by much. Her hair is flat on one side, a little curly on the other, an
A STEADY STREAM of beeps wakes me up to a stream of light.A hospital. It's the place I've woken up the last two days. I can't complain. It's one hundred times better than a concrete floor in an abandoned factory in Oakland. Even still I fight the panic as my brain comes into consciousness. The hospital therapist says eventually there will come a day when I don't wake up ready to flee, but I'm not sure I believe her.My awake body is heavy and sluggish. Yesterday I spent most the day sleeping as my conscious mind worked around what happened after I was taken from the sidewalk in front of Cosmo's.Hudson was shot. I watched it with my own eyes. What I didn't know at the time was the bullet grazed the side of his body and most of his injury was due to the shock of being shot. Even though my mind didn't want to believe it at the time, he led the charge to rescue me. And yes, he absolutely shot Jimmy in the head — a scene I never ever want to see again, but one that plays on repeat e
Breathe. I hit reality with a start. Tears form as I blink my eyes to open them. My shoulder hurts, a tingling stiff sensation like I slept on it wrong. At one point I must have broken out in a cold sweat and my skin is clammy, moist yet chilled. My knuckle scrapes the hard ground underneath my body as I sit up and the events of what happened flood back. It wasn't a bad dream. I've been taken right from the front of Cosmo's. Kidnapped.They shot Hudson.I have no idea how long I slept or where I am. No longer in the van, the room is dark around me and it takes longer than I want for my eyes to adjust. Of course, there's no positive to be found when they do. Sawdust and dirt smells permeate the air. On the ground there's not only cold hard concrete but sharp pieces of wood. I wipe a few from my pants legs only to have them stick to the skin of my fingers.As I try to stand, there's a clink of metal. I tug my foot to find it doesn't move. My leg is bolted to the ground with thick m
"Are you sure you won't walk in there and start crying?" Hudson asks as we stop in front of Cosmo's Comics and Café.I take a deep breath and check myself before I answer because frankly he's probably right to be worried. It's been two days since we met with Drew at the restaurant in Oakland and I spent most of that night crying. I haven't talked to anyone since then. More than likely they think I've been taking this time to apologize to Hudson. He promises he's forgiven and forgotten and even understands why it took so long.Hudson spent the last few days consoling me as I came to terms with finally admitting what happened that night and saying goodbye to Drew if only in my own mind. He's been perfect. He didn't push or yell at me to do it faster or tell me I was being ridiculous. He listened and held me when I needed him. I couldn't ask for a better man.Hudson is everything I've ever wanted in a guy. Sensitive enough to figure out when I'm hurting, but strong enough to tell me
"That's your answer?" Hudson's eyebrows lift.I hit my knee against his. "Hudson."He sighs in agitation."Well, Drew, the way I look at it Amanda doesn't have much to tell. It sounds to me as if in her story you were a friend who was there to help her out. Who didn't want to get involved in a police investigation. But before I can trust her opinion that you're a nice guy, I need proof."Drew laughs even though it's inappropriate for the time. "I don't think I'm a nice guy, but thanks, Amanda.""Um, you're welcome?""I started working construction jobs part time when Clare and I were in foster care." He stops talking right as the story gets good."But you don't do construction work now, do you?" Hudson asks the exact question I've been thinking.It's like pulling teeth to get facts out of Drew, but what he doesn't understand is Hudson will have no qualms telling Ben if he's not satisfied with his answers."Yes and no. From time to time my boss asks me for extra favors
"Sorry, Dean, I've got to get home. Lots of Christmas prep to do."There's no time to chase another raid with so much work to do for Aspen's Christmas celebration. They overdo it for most holidays, but the big ones are the worst.He nods, accepting the answer. I rarely take him up on offers for more raiding or the hundred times he's asked me out for coffee. "Okay, see you next time." He waves, following a large group of people making their way to cars and bikes before heading toward the wharf.I step onto the sidewalk outside the baseball stadium to look for a cab. The road is eerily quiet since there isn't baseball in December and the people from the raid snatched up the cabs. Even though Grant, Clare's boyfriend would kill me, I scroll through my phone and find the Uber app. If I have to call for a ride anyway, I should at least make it a cheap one. He'd be pissed over how close I am to his neighborhood without someone here with me, but it's too late to worry about that now.