I shake my head. "Not yet." If I let him play, I'll lose control of the situation and I rather like being in control. "I want it fast and dirty.""I like fast and dirty," he says. His legs raise until he pushes my body further up his chest. "But trust me I can fuck you fast and dirty while getting a lick in too."He pulls my body down until I'm forced to reach a hand out to the headboard, bracing myself while he sticks his face in between my breasts. Grant licks a nipple and sucks hard, and I moan against the back of my hand.With two pant buttons undone Grant lowers my zipper slipping two fingers underneath my underwear. He rubs small slow circles as I grind against him on the bed until I've completely lost control of the situation. The tension taking over my body does not give a shit. He can have the control.Grant must feel it too because he flips me over, my back landing on the mattress and his rumpled sheets. He stands, stopping to lean on the edge of the bed, and in one h
Not much has changed in my situation in the two weeks since Grant and I reignited our new relationship. I rather like it that way."Hell yes! That's the way you do it, brother." Drew stands on the couch and thrusts his hips at the TV in an obscene gesture I never needed to see in my entire life.Grant uses Drew's distraction to start lobbing fire grenades at his bunker. The explosions take over the volume in the living room and Drew scrambles to find his controller and get back in the position."Hey, Clare, your boyfriend took a cheap shot."I shrug in indifference. "You took too long to celebrate. Sounds fair to me."In truth I don't care who wins what in this stupid game. Drew and Grant have continued to bond and their favorite pastime is making me sit on the couch and watch the two of them play shooter games. When they aren't throwing grenades at one another, they toss insults back and forth asking me which side is right or wrong.It makes me miss the days when Drew and
*Grant*Months ago, during a late-night gaming session Finn declared he'd be married to Aspen by the end of the summer, but in truth no one took him seriously. Everyone knows girls are crazy when it comes to weddings. They plan these things for months or even years, but somehow he did it. I think he felt the need to lock her down before Aspen figured out she's starting a life with a man who literally plays video games all day long. What he doesn't understand is from the way she looks at him, his woman does not care. Finn could come home and tell her he wants to start a career as a longshore fisherman and she'd help pick out a pair of waders.I'm happy for the two of them. They make a great couple. Not as good as Clare and me, but nobody can reach our level of awesome. What other woman out there would let me play video games all evening long with her best friend and then let me fuck her before bed? My dream woman, that's who.Clare is a rather laid-back woman, but I doubt I'll get
VOLUME FIVE: HACK Hack: Gaining unauthorized access to data in a system...."Did you get him, Amanda?" Dean leans into my personal space to get a better view of my phone.Both of us watch the red and yellow ball on my screen bounce twice and break apart. I sigh in defeat."That was my last try." The high-level dragon I've been trying to catch flies off my screen. "Dammit. That was my fourth time."I can't keep chasing this damn cartoon animal around the city. San Francisco is cold in December, and I sold my car after moving into Marissa and Ryland's mother-in-law apartment. The cab fees are killing me. I promised Grant I wouldn't ever take an Uber. The man has something against the ride sharing app, but unlike my friends I don't use a private car service to drive me places. And there's no way I'm admitting to Aspen how much time I've spent playing her husband's new game."There's another raid happening at the wharf in twenty. Want to hit it up?" Dean asks as the group w
"Are you sure there's nothing we can do for you?" Aspen pats my arm reassuringly, but her looks of pity and concern are more worrisome. Nothing good ever happens when Aspen is concerned about you.Aspen is a wonderful person, but if she gets too involved in something, she has a way of... well pushing herself into everyone else's business. Sure, she means well. I know she means well. I just don't want the unneeded attention. Her brother Ben is bad enough.So, I lie. "Promise, Aspen, I'm fine. Your brother is taking care of everything."The second part isn't a lie. Ben, a detective with the San Francisco Police Department, heard my name over the radio. Next thing I knew he'd taken over complete control of the crime scene and promised me his personal effort in hunting down whoever is responsible.The problem is I didn't see anything. I can tell him the guy who was shot hasn't woken up yet. At least he lived. I'm trying to focus on the positives. It keeps me from going insane."W
"Don't you use your spot to park?" Hudson asks as I direct him to park in the second space available at my apartment building. I'm still renting the small mother-in-law suit from Ryland and Marissa. The rent is too darn good to give up the opportunity to live in the middle of the city. Even if it does mean I share a hallway with Ryland and am forced to follow his ridiculous rules. His latest? Banning me from listening to music after three. Who doesn't enjoy Justin Bieber?I shake my head and then realize he's not looking in my direction. Apparently, the big muscular hottie isn't as interested in staring at me as I am staring at him. The compact rental car Hudson ushered me into after the party ended is filled with his body. The top of his head skims the ceiling and his arm hangs way over the middle console."I sold my car when I moved into the city." The Honda was old and needed to be done even though Ryland said I could use the extra parking spot — a big concession, which I'm pret
Cupcake, the younger of my two guinea pigs, squeaks in her cage and runs in a circle. Her little feet kick out bedding onto the floor. Her reddish brown spotted white body disappears under the little hammock in her cage. The space is tiny, so she kicks out her sister guinea pig, Ginny, a black, brown, and white combination who sheds hair anytime you look at her. She's worse than a dog. But I couldn't get a dog past Ryland's vigilant eyes. Quite frankly the only reason my guinea pigs have gone so long without being noticed is Ryland never enters my apartment. Marissa is sure to keep him far away from the cage and the possibility he'll hear them. She finds my flouting of the no pet rule hilarious.Hudson recoils even though he's nowhere near her splash zone. "What is that?""A guinea pig. You've never seen a guinea pig?"Hudson steps closer hesitantly. "Not in person. It's a giant furry rat.""Hey! Cupcake doesn't like to be described as a rat." I open the top of the guinea pig h
A line of sunshine drapes across my face from the open window, and I stretch before pulling back the covers. Outside the morning is foggy although sunlight still seeps past the clouds. It looks like it does every other day in San Francisco. There's no white stuff littering the ground as you'd expect when you wake up on Christmas morning. It's completely different from growing up in the Midwest.I'm not as bad as Aspen, who walks around in enough snow gear she looks like she's going on an Arctic expedition every time it gets below forty degrees, but I'll admit the longer I'm in San Francisco the less I miss the white stuff. Everything is a tad bit happier when you're not covered in frozen water.I may be in my mid-twenties, but this is the first Christmas I didn't spend with family. It's sad but exciting. I've discovered what it's like to be a grown-up. The tiny apartment is quiet when I open the bedroom door and walk my way to the kitchen."Good morning," a male voice calls from
Six months later"I thought you were painting this room silver?" Hudson asks dropping his half of the couch inside of our brand-new tiny living room. That's not fair. It's bigger than the apartment when I lived with Marissa. Living here will be like me having my own special mansion. Except this time the rent is higher.I put my end of the couch down and then promptly sit at the end of it. I've done my part of moving. This is why we hired movers. I don't know what it is about men wanting to lift heavy objects. Plus, it's not like there's much furniture to move. The old apartment came furnished. This stuff is new.I look at the wall, which shimmers in the bright light from our large open window in the new living room. "I did. It's Silver Fox.""This color is gray.""No, it's Silver Fox.""It looks gray to me."I shake my head in dismay. "Gray is darker."He nods slowly. "Uh-huh. Whatever you say."Hudson and I have been living together since he made the permanent move t
A few weeks later"Wow, Finn hooked you up." My eyes blink a few times trying to adjust to the overpowering glare of so many television screens in one room.Hudson laughs as he steps behind me. "Ridge taught me you can never have too many cameras.""Well, you definitely put his words into practice." No less than thirty flat screen TVs line a wall in the room Finn and Hudson started calling the war room. I'm pretty sure Finn has a camera everywhere Aspen may go in San Francisco. There is even one in the comic shop. The transition has gone well for the most part. Finn and Aspen had a heated debate over her bodyguard situation.Once Hudson accepted the position, he didn't waste time. It's been less than three weeks and he has a war room set up and is spying on half the residents of the city. My man gets shit done."Are you happy?" I ask turning around so we are face to face.Hudson rolls his eyes and says something silently to the ceiling of the room. He's recently taken up pr
The glass automatic door at the airport entrance slides open and I saunter in with a purpose. No woman has ever been as determined as I am to put a man in his place. Full Marissa style.And then maybe win him back. It depends on his response. I've been through tons of shit the last few weeks. I need someone who can handle me and won't chicken out.Aspen and Finn checked me out of the hospital and then took me back to my apartment making me promise I wouldn't leave when I asked to be alone. My mother even listened when I told her it was a great time to visit my brother in Washington. He'll love it.Besides my shattered heart, I'm medically fine. There's no reason for people to be stuck hovering around me. Hurt or not, I've still peopled too much these last few days, so it wasn't hard to press that I needed quiet time. I promised to head right into bed and sleep for a few more days.But I've broken many promises lately. And kept secrets. I am not the same girl I was last year. An
I hate to be a bad friend — who am I kidding, I'm always the bad friend — but Aspen could not have picked a worse time to make her visit. And I love her. She was here all day yesterday. Getting water, refilling water, fluffing my pillow and accidentally pulling on my IV before doing it again while apologizing for pulling on the IV. Hudson and I haven't had two minutes to ourselves. I tried to fake sleep yesterday afternoon, but then they stood around the bed looking and me and whispering."Do you need your pillow fluffed?" she asks for the thousandth time. It's become her filler question. What she asks me if she doesn't know what else to ask.I shake my head, giving Finn my best "calm her down" look, but he doesn't notice. He's so madly in love with Aspen he thinks everything she does is adorable. "I'm fine, Aspen. Relax."My best friend is definitely more put together than Hudson in the last two days, but not by much. Her hair is flat on one side, a little curly on the other, an
A STEADY STREAM of beeps wakes me up to a stream of light.A hospital. It's the place I've woken up the last two days. I can't complain. It's one hundred times better than a concrete floor in an abandoned factory in Oakland. Even still I fight the panic as my brain comes into consciousness. The hospital therapist says eventually there will come a day when I don't wake up ready to flee, but I'm not sure I believe her.My awake body is heavy and sluggish. Yesterday I spent most the day sleeping as my conscious mind worked around what happened after I was taken from the sidewalk in front of Cosmo's.Hudson was shot. I watched it with my own eyes. What I didn't know at the time was the bullet grazed the side of his body and most of his injury was due to the shock of being shot. Even though my mind didn't want to believe it at the time, he led the charge to rescue me. And yes, he absolutely shot Jimmy in the head — a scene I never ever want to see again, but one that plays on repeat e
Breathe. I hit reality with a start. Tears form as I blink my eyes to open them. My shoulder hurts, a tingling stiff sensation like I slept on it wrong. At one point I must have broken out in a cold sweat and my skin is clammy, moist yet chilled. My knuckle scrapes the hard ground underneath my body as I sit up and the events of what happened flood back. It wasn't a bad dream. I've been taken right from the front of Cosmo's. Kidnapped.They shot Hudson.I have no idea how long I slept or where I am. No longer in the van, the room is dark around me and it takes longer than I want for my eyes to adjust. Of course, there's no positive to be found when they do. Sawdust and dirt smells permeate the air. On the ground there's not only cold hard concrete but sharp pieces of wood. I wipe a few from my pants legs only to have them stick to the skin of my fingers.As I try to stand, there's a clink of metal. I tug my foot to find it doesn't move. My leg is bolted to the ground with thick m
"Are you sure you won't walk in there and start crying?" Hudson asks as we stop in front of Cosmo's Comics and Café.I take a deep breath and check myself before I answer because frankly he's probably right to be worried. It's been two days since we met with Drew at the restaurant in Oakland and I spent most of that night crying. I haven't talked to anyone since then. More than likely they think I've been taking this time to apologize to Hudson. He promises he's forgiven and forgotten and even understands why it took so long.Hudson spent the last few days consoling me as I came to terms with finally admitting what happened that night and saying goodbye to Drew if only in my own mind. He's been perfect. He didn't push or yell at me to do it faster or tell me I was being ridiculous. He listened and held me when I needed him. I couldn't ask for a better man.Hudson is everything I've ever wanted in a guy. Sensitive enough to figure out when I'm hurting, but strong enough to tell me
"That's your answer?" Hudson's eyebrows lift.I hit my knee against his. "Hudson."He sighs in agitation."Well, Drew, the way I look at it Amanda doesn't have much to tell. It sounds to me as if in her story you were a friend who was there to help her out. Who didn't want to get involved in a police investigation. But before I can trust her opinion that you're a nice guy, I need proof."Drew laughs even though it's inappropriate for the time. "I don't think I'm a nice guy, but thanks, Amanda.""Um, you're welcome?""I started working construction jobs part time when Clare and I were in foster care." He stops talking right as the story gets good."But you don't do construction work now, do you?" Hudson asks the exact question I've been thinking.It's like pulling teeth to get facts out of Drew, but what he doesn't understand is Hudson will have no qualms telling Ben if he's not satisfied with his answers."Yes and no. From time to time my boss asks me for extra favors
"Sorry, Dean, I've got to get home. Lots of Christmas prep to do."There's no time to chase another raid with so much work to do for Aspen's Christmas celebration. They overdo it for most holidays, but the big ones are the worst.He nods, accepting the answer. I rarely take him up on offers for more raiding or the hundred times he's asked me out for coffee. "Okay, see you next time." He waves, following a large group of people making their way to cars and bikes before heading toward the wharf.I step onto the sidewalk outside the baseball stadium to look for a cab. The road is eerily quiet since there isn't baseball in December and the people from the raid snatched up the cabs. Even though Grant, Clare's boyfriend would kill me, I scroll through my phone and find the Uber app. If I have to call for a ride anyway, I should at least make it a cheap one. He'd be pissed over how close I am to his neighborhood without someone here with me, but it's too late to worry about that now.