The TLC Song, "No Scrubs," wakes me from the groggy sleep I'd been pulling myself from at a slow pace. There's no point in waking up early on a Saturday morning. My phone rests on the towel I threw on the floor after last night's shower."Hello?" My thick voice cracks from sleep.Cody laughs on the other end. "Still like those Saturday sleep ins? Are you going to make it to lunch?""Of course, Cody. It's steps from my apartment." Isn't it funny how quirks you found cute while dating become fucking annoying when you aren't? Like Cody's constant need to check in and make sure I'm running on time. I used to think it sweet he looked out for me, now I recognize it as the patronizing behavior it is."Okay, I'll see you at twelve o'clock.""Got it." We hang up and I throw back the covers not ready to face the world, but I need to get this done and over with.When Cody texted me last night after running into him and asked me to lunch, I didn't see the harm in agreeing. Now I'm not
I smile up at him, my entire body lighter with the recent revelation. "It's been a hell of a year, huh?" I laugh a little. "But I'm doing well and I hope you are too." My smile grows with every word. I'll probably always have a snarky comment to make about Cody when the time calls for it, but he's not a factor in my current life. I don't even picture him with devil horns any more. Well not all the time at least. It's a start."Really?" he asks a little tense. Maybe he remembers the threats I made against him after I saw the pictures... oops."Yeah, really. Hey, did you ever land the account from the guy in New York?" Cody put a lot of overtime in schmoozing with their fund manager. It meant a big pay raise for him but more late nights too.He finally relaxes and takes a sip of his coffee. Colombian roast with no sugar but a splash of cream. "Of course. Did you think anything less of me?" He laughs at his boast and leans over the small table getting into the conversation. "I saw A
The elevator could get me upstairs faster, but I need the stairs to help calm down so I don't physically harm Ryland as he follows behind me. It doesn't work. Being tired from walking only serves to make me more pissed. My body vibrates with emotions. If I wasn't clenching my fists so hard, they'd probably shake.For the first two flights of stairs, I work on ways I'll address his shitty behavior in a calm and rational way. By the third floor, my feelings bubble over and I lose my control."What the fuck was that, Ryland?" I'm yelling, but there isn't a better volume to figure out what the hell he's thinking.Ryland keeps walking. "You like a guy to dress that way?" After all the male posturing I had to witness, that's what he focuses on?He finally stops walking and I push on his chest... well the top of his stomach because he's a tall, stupid idiot. "Are you really that insecure you're bothered because Cody wore a tie?""No!" He starts walking again punching in the code to
The little blue Corvette idles on the street in front of Cosmo's Comics & Café, but I'm reluctant to get out. The fog's already lifted from the city and temperatures are above fifty-five. It's set to become a beautiful day in the Bay. I have three spectacular friends waiting inside on plush couches with a sugary breakfast of French toast smothered with caramel and chocolate. Four months ago I'd be out of the car by now. Today my feet won't move in their direction. I love my friends, but there's someone better beside me."You'll call me when you girls finish for the day, right?" Ryland turns on the hazard lights, the little dings with each blink filling in our silence.I blow out a breath against the window, fogging up a small area, which quickly disappears. "Yeah.""You're going to be late."Aspen texted me last night with news she had a surprise for us this morning. I don't like surprises. At least surprises I don't know about in advance. "We could go back to your place and pl
Except there's a problem. The sandy blond haired man delivering our food is not wearing the normal Zazie's uniform and logo. Nor does the bag he carries. When he starts to pull out black Styrofoam containers rather than the normal white, my brain clicks on and I face the facts. This is not Zazie's."Aspen, what is this?" I ask, remaining calm for a few more seconds. She better tell me there's been a mix up.Her hands go up, fingers spread in demented over excited jazz hands. "The big news. Breakfast Burritos! Finn and I had them last week and I thought I'd die they were so delicious.""From Los Tres? I've heard they're amazing, but haven't made my way to that side of town." Amanda rolls up the sleeves of her pink long sleeve t-shirt with a large lion on the front.I reluctantly take my burrito wrapped in aluminum foil from Aspen when she hands it to me. "Breakfast burritos? But this is brunch." I'm sure the burrito is delicious, but I'm equally as positive it isn't smothered in
With Ryland's condo door wide open, I tromp back and forth between our places in different dresses. The charity event is a big night for the youth center and my planning skills. I need to look the part of a fancy-put-together woman. Plus, I love to dress up. There might be three weeks until our Casino night, but if I wear a dress from Simone, I'll need it hemmed. It's also a great opportunity for Ryland to practice his boyfriend skills by pretending to care what I wear with fake oohs and ahhs. So far he's done well.The light blue dress I have on drags on the floor behind me, but I kind of enjoy the train feel of it. As long as no one steps on it and I fall on my ass. On second thought, maybe the train's a bad idea.Ryland sits stretched out on his couch watching ESPN on the television, but he turns his head when I step into the living room. His hand goes up and he circles his index finger silently asking me to spin."The purple one looked better with your eyes," he says and then
He stands beside me and I look up to meet Ryland's eyes, my new position making me even shorter. I expect to find passion, but it's a predatory stare he locks on my fingers wrapped around the steel bar of the elevator.Hard cool metal touches my skin as Ryland drags the pair of handcuffs from the top of my shoulder down to my wrists. His lips follow the same trail and he places kisses until he reaches my elbow and it's too far to bend over. My knees go a little weak and I'm glad I didn't try on the heels with the dress.Two clicks blanket the elevator as Ryland opens the cuffs wrapping the chain under the elevator rail and then attaching one to each of my wrists. So we're doing this in the elevator then.My body tenses as Ryland stands behind me in a position I can't see from my side view. His hands wrap around my ankles lightly as he slowly rubs his fingers up my legs raising my dress with them. I want a better angle, but his hand won't let me up when I try to stand. The materia
The wooden surface of Simone's desk in the Raven Digital Arts lobby glistens from the overhead lights. The team Finn paid to come and clean in preparation of tonight's long awaited charity event did their job. Even the floor shines so brightly it's blinding.Ryland pushes the box I'm grabbing dishes from out of his way and leans against Simone's large receptionist desk. "Everything looks great, Marissa. You did a good job on this event for Clare."Grabbing the box, I pull it back toward me and line up a stack of small paper plates on the last few inches of the desk. "You haven't gone past the lobby. How do you know?"He grabs a few napkins from the box and places them on top of the plates, forcing me to adjust them to the side where they belong. It's more aesthetically correct. "As your boyfriend, I'm required to compliment you on a job well done."I chuckle once and throw the now empty box under Simone's desk where no one can see it. "Well, yes, but you should wait to see the
Six months later"I thought you were painting this room silver?" Hudson asks dropping his half of the couch inside of our brand-new tiny living room. That's not fair. It's bigger than the apartment when I lived with Marissa. Living here will be like me having my own special mansion. Except this time the rent is higher.I put my end of the couch down and then promptly sit at the end of it. I've done my part of moving. This is why we hired movers. I don't know what it is about men wanting to lift heavy objects. Plus, it's not like there's much furniture to move. The old apartment came furnished. This stuff is new.I look at the wall, which shimmers in the bright light from our large open window in the new living room. "I did. It's Silver Fox.""This color is gray.""No, it's Silver Fox.""It looks gray to me."I shake my head in dismay. "Gray is darker."He nods slowly. "Uh-huh. Whatever you say."Hudson and I have been living together since he made the permanent move t
A few weeks later"Wow, Finn hooked you up." My eyes blink a few times trying to adjust to the overpowering glare of so many television screens in one room.Hudson laughs as he steps behind me. "Ridge taught me you can never have too many cameras.""Well, you definitely put his words into practice." No less than thirty flat screen TVs line a wall in the room Finn and Hudson started calling the war room. I'm pretty sure Finn has a camera everywhere Aspen may go in San Francisco. There is even one in the comic shop. The transition has gone well for the most part. Finn and Aspen had a heated debate over her bodyguard situation.Once Hudson accepted the position, he didn't waste time. It's been less than three weeks and he has a war room set up and is spying on half the residents of the city. My man gets shit done."Are you happy?" I ask turning around so we are face to face.Hudson rolls his eyes and says something silently to the ceiling of the room. He's recently taken up pr
The glass automatic door at the airport entrance slides open and I saunter in with a purpose. No woman has ever been as determined as I am to put a man in his place. Full Marissa style.And then maybe win him back. It depends on his response. I've been through tons of shit the last few weeks. I need someone who can handle me and won't chicken out.Aspen and Finn checked me out of the hospital and then took me back to my apartment making me promise I wouldn't leave when I asked to be alone. My mother even listened when I told her it was a great time to visit my brother in Washington. He'll love it.Besides my shattered heart, I'm medically fine. There's no reason for people to be stuck hovering around me. Hurt or not, I've still peopled too much these last few days, so it wasn't hard to press that I needed quiet time. I promised to head right into bed and sleep for a few more days.But I've broken many promises lately. And kept secrets. I am not the same girl I was last year. An
I hate to be a bad friend — who am I kidding, I'm always the bad friend — but Aspen could not have picked a worse time to make her visit. And I love her. She was here all day yesterday. Getting water, refilling water, fluffing my pillow and accidentally pulling on my IV before doing it again while apologizing for pulling on the IV. Hudson and I haven't had two minutes to ourselves. I tried to fake sleep yesterday afternoon, but then they stood around the bed looking and me and whispering."Do you need your pillow fluffed?" she asks for the thousandth time. It's become her filler question. What she asks me if she doesn't know what else to ask.I shake my head, giving Finn my best "calm her down" look, but he doesn't notice. He's so madly in love with Aspen he thinks everything she does is adorable. "I'm fine, Aspen. Relax."My best friend is definitely more put together than Hudson in the last two days, but not by much. Her hair is flat on one side, a little curly on the other, an
A STEADY STREAM of beeps wakes me up to a stream of light.A hospital. It's the place I've woken up the last two days. I can't complain. It's one hundred times better than a concrete floor in an abandoned factory in Oakland. Even still I fight the panic as my brain comes into consciousness. The hospital therapist says eventually there will come a day when I don't wake up ready to flee, but I'm not sure I believe her.My awake body is heavy and sluggish. Yesterday I spent most the day sleeping as my conscious mind worked around what happened after I was taken from the sidewalk in front of Cosmo's.Hudson was shot. I watched it with my own eyes. What I didn't know at the time was the bullet grazed the side of his body and most of his injury was due to the shock of being shot. Even though my mind didn't want to believe it at the time, he led the charge to rescue me. And yes, he absolutely shot Jimmy in the head — a scene I never ever want to see again, but one that plays on repeat e
Breathe. I hit reality with a start. Tears form as I blink my eyes to open them. My shoulder hurts, a tingling stiff sensation like I slept on it wrong. At one point I must have broken out in a cold sweat and my skin is clammy, moist yet chilled. My knuckle scrapes the hard ground underneath my body as I sit up and the events of what happened flood back. It wasn't a bad dream. I've been taken right from the front of Cosmo's. Kidnapped.They shot Hudson.I have no idea how long I slept or where I am. No longer in the van, the room is dark around me and it takes longer than I want for my eyes to adjust. Of course, there's no positive to be found when they do. Sawdust and dirt smells permeate the air. On the ground there's not only cold hard concrete but sharp pieces of wood. I wipe a few from my pants legs only to have them stick to the skin of my fingers.As I try to stand, there's a clink of metal. I tug my foot to find it doesn't move. My leg is bolted to the ground with thick m
"Are you sure you won't walk in there and start crying?" Hudson asks as we stop in front of Cosmo's Comics and Café.I take a deep breath and check myself before I answer because frankly he's probably right to be worried. It's been two days since we met with Drew at the restaurant in Oakland and I spent most of that night crying. I haven't talked to anyone since then. More than likely they think I've been taking this time to apologize to Hudson. He promises he's forgiven and forgotten and even understands why it took so long.Hudson spent the last few days consoling me as I came to terms with finally admitting what happened that night and saying goodbye to Drew if only in my own mind. He's been perfect. He didn't push or yell at me to do it faster or tell me I was being ridiculous. He listened and held me when I needed him. I couldn't ask for a better man.Hudson is everything I've ever wanted in a guy. Sensitive enough to figure out when I'm hurting, but strong enough to tell me
"That's your answer?" Hudson's eyebrows lift.I hit my knee against his. "Hudson."He sighs in agitation."Well, Drew, the way I look at it Amanda doesn't have much to tell. It sounds to me as if in her story you were a friend who was there to help her out. Who didn't want to get involved in a police investigation. But before I can trust her opinion that you're a nice guy, I need proof."Drew laughs even though it's inappropriate for the time. "I don't think I'm a nice guy, but thanks, Amanda.""Um, you're welcome?""I started working construction jobs part time when Clare and I were in foster care." He stops talking right as the story gets good."But you don't do construction work now, do you?" Hudson asks the exact question I've been thinking.It's like pulling teeth to get facts out of Drew, but what he doesn't understand is Hudson will have no qualms telling Ben if he's not satisfied with his answers."Yes and no. From time to time my boss asks me for extra favors
"Sorry, Dean, I've got to get home. Lots of Christmas prep to do."There's no time to chase another raid with so much work to do for Aspen's Christmas celebration. They overdo it for most holidays, but the big ones are the worst.He nods, accepting the answer. I rarely take him up on offers for more raiding or the hundred times he's asked me out for coffee. "Okay, see you next time." He waves, following a large group of people making their way to cars and bikes before heading toward the wharf.I step onto the sidewalk outside the baseball stadium to look for a cab. The road is eerily quiet since there isn't baseball in December and the people from the raid snatched up the cabs. Even though Grant, Clare's boyfriend would kill me, I scroll through my phone and find the Uber app. If I have to call for a ride anyway, I should at least make it a cheap one. He'd be pissed over how close I am to his neighborhood without someone here with me, but it's too late to worry about that now.