"We're not trying some?" I'm disappointed. He said there would be chocolate tasting tonight.I hadn't realized how close I'd worked myself next to him as we stood in front of the case until I need to take a step back in order to see his entire face."We'll be back for hot chocolate later, but let's eat dinner first. Don't worry, I wouldn't bring you to a chocolate factory and not let you take some home," Finn promises. I swear, the man can read my mind. That or all the years Ben's harassed me about my lack of a poker face weren't merely mean-spirited jokes at my expense.Hand in hand we jaywalk across the street to a large grey building hidden by trees. It isn't until we reach the door that the name Tacolicious comes into view. The store hours are listed directly below in the same thin, simple font, and I'm glad we have hours left so there won't be a need to rush.As with every other restaurant I've been to in this city, the tables are packed together and mostly full. "Chocolat
Jake, in another black suit, waits for me outside at the end of my workday on Thursday. He opens the back door and I expect to see Finn waiting for me, but he isn't. In his place sits a small rectangular green box with a large white bow wrapped around it. I assume the box is for me, but I don't reach to take it. Finn's absence hits me harder than I would have expected. I've gotten used to his smiling face before and after work each day. His excitement is infectious. Finn always leaves me in a good mood."Are we picking Finn up now?" I question as soon as Jake is in the vehicle.He meets my eyes in the rear view mirror and hesitates in his answer. "He had to stay late for a meeting, but he said he hoped the surprise made up for him not being here.""Oh." Jake's comments don't sound good. "Do you have to go back and wait for him?" I quickly work out a plan to talk Jake into making me a tagalong. I still haven't been to the building Finn works in. He's only told me they recently bou
"It happened once. One time, Pen. A year ago. A fucking year ago. I thought it was done with. It should have been over, but the girl... she took pictures. I didn't know there were pictures. I was drunk, but I don't remember pictures." Cody takes another drink from his glass. "She's been blackmailing me with threats to put them online or send them to Marissa. I paid her, but it wasn't enough. It was never enough money." He stares at my wall, lost in thought.From his marked up face, Marissa's found out. The question now is how. "When did Marissa find out, Cody?" I ask and take a drink myself."Today. Around lunch. I went over there to try and explain, but she wouldn't listen. She's crazy."Now I'm pissed. "Of course she's crazy, Cody. You slept with someone else. You're her fiancé, you don't sleep with other people!" My voice gets higher with each word."It was one time. One time! She's called off the wedding. Do you know how much we'll lose in deposits? I'll have to explain to
The keyhole laughs at me from its stationary position on the door lock. The opening is there, but I cannot get my key to fit inside. I panic. Did Finn change the locks on me? Did I break one of the apartment rules and not realize it? Did I walk past my possessions thrown out on the curb or have they already been picked over by the neighborhood vultures? How much would be left on a Saturday morning?"Your key is upside down, Aspen." It sounds like Finn's voice, but I'm afraid to move my head to guarantee it's him.My entire existence depends on keeping my body as still as possible. Any sudden movement and I might lose everything in my stomach right here on the floor. I worry puking in the hallway would violate Rule 6: No hallway adornments. Either way I can't imagine it would be looked upon favorably."Huh?" I question and hope the simple one-word response can convey what I need it to.Finn shuffles closer, as if he's approaching a wounded animal and I might attack at any moment
My shoe slams against the back wall of the closet, and I cross my fingers it landed near Finn's head and woke him up. Assholes do not get to sleep in on Sundays. I'm fuming. My actions might get me kicked out of the apartment if I don't get along with my floor mate, but I can't bring myself to give a shit.Finn walked out on me last night. At first I sat on the couch and stared at my blank television as my brain tried to process what had happened. Then I cried. I was dumped by a great guy for what? Because I did everything I could to help a friend get over her devastating breakup? I didn't cheat on him. I aged my liver a little faster, that's all. For my horrible indiscretion Finn decides I'm not worthy of him? Well, screw him.Any man who doesn't understand I would do whatever it takes for my best friend doesn't deserve to be with me. I don't know where Finn sleeps in relation to my closet, but I hope it's close. I grab another shoe to throw it at the wall and stop when I see the
HIS DOOR MATCHES MINE, but it feels harder as my knuckles make contact with the wood. Finn answers with a weary look. It heightens my pissed off mood."Aspen?" I'm not sure why he thinks I'm here, but I don't give him long to ponder it."You know what? Fuck you, Finn! You think I shouldn't help my best friend when she gets her heart broken? You think it makes me such a bad person you can't date me. What does that make you? You want to act as if I'm not worthy of you? Well your loss, buddy," I yell at him and then turn to leave.I've said my piece. I skipped over the part about being independent and it didn't sound as good as it did when I practiced it with Marissa and Amanda. Plus I'm shaking, but I said it without crying so it's a win in my book."You're not a bad person, Pen." He sounds upset. The balls on this man. He's not allowed to sound upset. He lost that right when he dumped me."Don't call me Pen. You aren't my friend," I fling back at him and then stumble over my o
I spot him as I walk out the main lobby door on my way to work, but I keep to my plan. My head held high, I reach the rear bumper of the black Escalade before he can stop me."Aspen! I know you saw me."Jake is older than I am and larger, but he's fit. I calculate my ability to outrun him and decide my odds aren't good. I have on tennis shoes, but I've never been much into distance running. Plus I have a gut feeling the man would chase me all the way to work if I tried to make a dash for it.I turn and a black-suit-clad Jake is two feet from me. The back door to the SUV is left open behind him. It's not Jake's fault Finn is an asshole. I don't want to be mean to him, but I'm not getting in the car. No way, no how."Sorry, Jake. I am going to walk today. I'm sure Finn will understand. I wouldn't want him to be around someone like me. I might talk him into making reckless decisions." I hate myself a little for the emotion that seeps through my words. I sound so catty. It's not no
The mention of Jake stirs my few remaining remnants of anger. "I don't want a ride, Finn. Rides to work aren't what you do with an ex."Finn flinches at the word ex. "I want to make sure you're safe, Aspen. I fucked up, but I would feel better if you had Jake with you. I understand why you won't do it for me, but at the very least do it to save all these sexy heels you always have on.""You think my heels are sexy?" Damnit, Aspen! Of all the crap to latch onto, I have to ask about the sexy heels.Finn perks up a small amount with my question. "Everything you do is sexy." He exhales or sighs I can't decide. "I'm such a dumbass, Aspen. I don't know what I was thinking. Please, will you come in and let me try to explain?"He opens the door wider. I shouldn't. I don't want to. But I do. I follow him inside. The door closes behind me, blocking a quick retreat.Finn's place, well I guess technically his friend's place, is larger than my 450-square-foot apartment. It's massive. My e
Six months later"I thought you were painting this room silver?" Hudson asks dropping his half of the couch inside of our brand-new tiny living room. That's not fair. It's bigger than the apartment when I lived with Marissa. Living here will be like me having my own special mansion. Except this time the rent is higher.I put my end of the couch down and then promptly sit at the end of it. I've done my part of moving. This is why we hired movers. I don't know what it is about men wanting to lift heavy objects. Plus, it's not like there's much furniture to move. The old apartment came furnished. This stuff is new.I look at the wall, which shimmers in the bright light from our large open window in the new living room. "I did. It's Silver Fox.""This color is gray.""No, it's Silver Fox.""It looks gray to me."I shake my head in dismay. "Gray is darker."He nods slowly. "Uh-huh. Whatever you say."Hudson and I have been living together since he made the permanent move t
A few weeks later"Wow, Finn hooked you up." My eyes blink a few times trying to adjust to the overpowering glare of so many television screens in one room.Hudson laughs as he steps behind me. "Ridge taught me you can never have too many cameras.""Well, you definitely put his words into practice." No less than thirty flat screen TVs line a wall in the room Finn and Hudson started calling the war room. I'm pretty sure Finn has a camera everywhere Aspen may go in San Francisco. There is even one in the comic shop. The transition has gone well for the most part. Finn and Aspen had a heated debate over her bodyguard situation.Once Hudson accepted the position, he didn't waste time. It's been less than three weeks and he has a war room set up and is spying on half the residents of the city. My man gets shit done."Are you happy?" I ask turning around so we are face to face.Hudson rolls his eyes and says something silently to the ceiling of the room. He's recently taken up pr
The glass automatic door at the airport entrance slides open and I saunter in with a purpose. No woman has ever been as determined as I am to put a man in his place. Full Marissa style.And then maybe win him back. It depends on his response. I've been through tons of shit the last few weeks. I need someone who can handle me and won't chicken out.Aspen and Finn checked me out of the hospital and then took me back to my apartment making me promise I wouldn't leave when I asked to be alone. My mother even listened when I told her it was a great time to visit my brother in Washington. He'll love it.Besides my shattered heart, I'm medically fine. There's no reason for people to be stuck hovering around me. Hurt or not, I've still peopled too much these last few days, so it wasn't hard to press that I needed quiet time. I promised to head right into bed and sleep for a few more days.But I've broken many promises lately. And kept secrets. I am not the same girl I was last year. An
I hate to be a bad friend — who am I kidding, I'm always the bad friend — but Aspen could not have picked a worse time to make her visit. And I love her. She was here all day yesterday. Getting water, refilling water, fluffing my pillow and accidentally pulling on my IV before doing it again while apologizing for pulling on the IV. Hudson and I haven't had two minutes to ourselves. I tried to fake sleep yesterday afternoon, but then they stood around the bed looking and me and whispering."Do you need your pillow fluffed?" she asks for the thousandth time. It's become her filler question. What she asks me if she doesn't know what else to ask.I shake my head, giving Finn my best "calm her down" look, but he doesn't notice. He's so madly in love with Aspen he thinks everything she does is adorable. "I'm fine, Aspen. Relax."My best friend is definitely more put together than Hudson in the last two days, but not by much. Her hair is flat on one side, a little curly on the other, an
A STEADY STREAM of beeps wakes me up to a stream of light.A hospital. It's the place I've woken up the last two days. I can't complain. It's one hundred times better than a concrete floor in an abandoned factory in Oakland. Even still I fight the panic as my brain comes into consciousness. The hospital therapist says eventually there will come a day when I don't wake up ready to flee, but I'm not sure I believe her.My awake body is heavy and sluggish. Yesterday I spent most the day sleeping as my conscious mind worked around what happened after I was taken from the sidewalk in front of Cosmo's.Hudson was shot. I watched it with my own eyes. What I didn't know at the time was the bullet grazed the side of his body and most of his injury was due to the shock of being shot. Even though my mind didn't want to believe it at the time, he led the charge to rescue me. And yes, he absolutely shot Jimmy in the head — a scene I never ever want to see again, but one that plays on repeat e
Breathe. I hit reality with a start. Tears form as I blink my eyes to open them. My shoulder hurts, a tingling stiff sensation like I slept on it wrong. At one point I must have broken out in a cold sweat and my skin is clammy, moist yet chilled. My knuckle scrapes the hard ground underneath my body as I sit up and the events of what happened flood back. It wasn't a bad dream. I've been taken right from the front of Cosmo's. Kidnapped.They shot Hudson.I have no idea how long I slept or where I am. No longer in the van, the room is dark around me and it takes longer than I want for my eyes to adjust. Of course, there's no positive to be found when they do. Sawdust and dirt smells permeate the air. On the ground there's not only cold hard concrete but sharp pieces of wood. I wipe a few from my pants legs only to have them stick to the skin of my fingers.As I try to stand, there's a clink of metal. I tug my foot to find it doesn't move. My leg is bolted to the ground with thick m
"Are you sure you won't walk in there and start crying?" Hudson asks as we stop in front of Cosmo's Comics and Café.I take a deep breath and check myself before I answer because frankly he's probably right to be worried. It's been two days since we met with Drew at the restaurant in Oakland and I spent most of that night crying. I haven't talked to anyone since then. More than likely they think I've been taking this time to apologize to Hudson. He promises he's forgiven and forgotten and even understands why it took so long.Hudson spent the last few days consoling me as I came to terms with finally admitting what happened that night and saying goodbye to Drew if only in my own mind. He's been perfect. He didn't push or yell at me to do it faster or tell me I was being ridiculous. He listened and held me when I needed him. I couldn't ask for a better man.Hudson is everything I've ever wanted in a guy. Sensitive enough to figure out when I'm hurting, but strong enough to tell me
"That's your answer?" Hudson's eyebrows lift.I hit my knee against his. "Hudson."He sighs in agitation."Well, Drew, the way I look at it Amanda doesn't have much to tell. It sounds to me as if in her story you were a friend who was there to help her out. Who didn't want to get involved in a police investigation. But before I can trust her opinion that you're a nice guy, I need proof."Drew laughs even though it's inappropriate for the time. "I don't think I'm a nice guy, but thanks, Amanda.""Um, you're welcome?""I started working construction jobs part time when Clare and I were in foster care." He stops talking right as the story gets good."But you don't do construction work now, do you?" Hudson asks the exact question I've been thinking.It's like pulling teeth to get facts out of Drew, but what he doesn't understand is Hudson will have no qualms telling Ben if he's not satisfied with his answers."Yes and no. From time to time my boss asks me for extra favors
"Sorry, Dean, I've got to get home. Lots of Christmas prep to do."There's no time to chase another raid with so much work to do for Aspen's Christmas celebration. They overdo it for most holidays, but the big ones are the worst.He nods, accepting the answer. I rarely take him up on offers for more raiding or the hundred times he's asked me out for coffee. "Okay, see you next time." He waves, following a large group of people making their way to cars and bikes before heading toward the wharf.I step onto the sidewalk outside the baseball stadium to look for a cab. The road is eerily quiet since there isn't baseball in December and the people from the raid snatched up the cabs. Even though Grant, Clare's boyfriend would kill me, I scroll through my phone and find the Uber app. If I have to call for a ride anyway, I should at least make it a cheap one. He'd be pissed over how close I am to his neighborhood without someone here with me, but it's too late to worry about that now.