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don't give up on me
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2021-04-30 09:09:54That night in bed, Alex suddenly turns to him. “You…you won’t send me back, right?”
Shantal groans, “Alex, don’t you know what time it is—“
“Please,” Alex takes a deep breath. The whirl of his processor is loud in the silence of the night.
Shantal opens his eyes, “No. I won’t send you back—“
“Good, because I know Arvin …I know he suffered. You don’t know what it’s like being one of us. We don’t remember how we’re born. One moment we’re just a pile of nuts and bolts and the next we look like a human and have a human’s heart. Arvin wanted to be human, I know he did. Does. We all do. Sending him back means…it means he failed as a human. There isn’t a worse thing you could do to my kind, please don’t ever—“
Shantal sits u
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Alex’s first glitch happens a few days after their second month anniversary (not that Shantal’s been keeping count for ~sentimental~ reasons or anything).Shantal’s typing up his History paper when Alex drops to the floor. A few seconds after the fall, Shantal stares, unable to move. Alex lies on the floor not too far from him, on his side with his eyes closed.When Shantal’s adrenaline kicks in, he shoves his laptop away, sending it crashing to the floor, and rushes to Alex’s side. “Alex! Alex!” he yells, trying to shake him awake. Alex is cold to touch and doesn’t stir, not even when Shantal screams in his ear.With a cold feeling tightening in his gut, Shantal runs to his bedroom and looks for Alex’s manual, finding it finally after tearing his room apart with his shaking hands. His hands tremble with such ferocity he has trouble reading the Troubleshoot section an
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After some time, Shantal was pulled out of her increasingly morbid thoughts by a voice that suddenly cut through her line of thought. He jumps up and opens the door to see Alex there with arms open wide and his ever present smile glowing on his face.“Look, I have a band-aid!” he says brightly, pointing to the blue tape on his forehead.Shantal feels something build up in his chest and he laughs to alleviate the pressure, eyes stinging.“What’s wrong, Shantal? Don’t you like my band-aid?”Shantal launches himself at Alex, muffling a sobbing sound he will deny to the ends of the Earth. Alex catches him and laughs, wrapping his arms tight around Shantal’s smaller body. Alex is also the one who sees the “medics” out, thanking them happily, all while holding Shantal tightly against him.Shantal buries his face in Alex’
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The days pass slowly and Shantal makes sure of it. She does most of her homework immediately after coming from university and spends the rest of the days dragging Alex all around the city. She made it sure to make the most of her every minute with Alex, knowing that the the days that she could spend with her robot were numbered.Their first stop is an ice cream shop and Shantal buys Alex the most possible scoops, much to the disbelief of the cashier. When Alex downs it all in the same time one would normally take for one scoop, the cashier lady is stunned.“I can’t taste it, not really,” Alex says as they walk hand in hand down the street. “But it feels good in my mouth! Wah, Shantal, you have some of your cheek. Let me get that for you!”Shantal expects a sleeve to start rubbing at his face or a hand, not soft lips and a curious tongue. Alex licks Shantal until the other party'
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Their first shower together is the only one Shantal will ever remember. Alex doesn’t have a problem with being without clothes and he steps into the bath tub first, urging Shantal to join him.Bathing for Alex is like eating: he doesn’t need to do it but he enjoys doing it nonetheless, if only to be with Shantal. Shantal feels a little silly telling Alex to close his eyes as he strips to his boxers but he feels even sillier trying to sit in between Alex’s legs in the tub because he takes up so much room.“Is Shantal really dirty?” Alex asks, hands resting on top of Shantal’s thighs.“I just showered this morning so not really.”“Can I wash you anyway? I want to see what it’s like.”Still a little hesitant, and perhaps a bit self-conscious, Shantal passes Alex the soap and
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Over the course of the next five days, Alex has trouble getting out of bed. He doesn’t call his moments of time out “sleep” but Shantal is worried nonetheless, anxiously fidgeting as the few grains of sand finally fall in their hour glasses.Shantal tries to ignore this behavior as best as he can, silently keeping a vigil over their last week. His heart pounds in excitement whenever he sees Alex up and out of bed. Their kisses are sweeter than they have ever been that week. Alex’s smile is so infectious and his laughter is so bright, Shantal doesn’t notice the dimming in his eyes until it’s too late.The fifth day is a Wednesday, Shantal will always remember. He is just stepping through the front door, backpack still on his shoulders, when Alex’s small voice pulls him into the bedroom.“Shantal,” he moans. From the looks of things, he hasn’t gotten
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I love you.In the years to come, Shantal would hate herself for not saying it out loud for Alex to hear.With a soft kiss, Alex lets out a rough gush of air. The sound is unsettling and rings of finality but it doesn’t stop Shantal from calling Alex’s name over and over again, hoping for a little reaction.It hits him then, when Alex doesn't move. It’s over.He’s gone.He’ll never see Alex’s smile ever again.He’ll never see that little facial twitch he’s grown to adore. He’ll never wake up in his arms.He’ll never kiss his lips.He’ll never…love anyone else the way he loved Alex.First a broken sound falls from his lips then he sobs against Alex’s unmoving chest, fingernails digging into his shirt. Alex lies benea
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