Chapter 3

Eva

Nausea rolled in my stomach, and the feeling was so intense that I couldn’t sleep a wink the whole night.

Goddess Luna. Give me strength.

Finding out that I had a mate was…shocking, to say the least. It was perhaps the worst experience of my life. I was deeply ashamed of everything that had happened, even though none of it was my fault. That horrid man stormed in here and disregarded all our rules, and neither of us could stop him, both because we were defenseless and because he was the Alpha of our pack.

Our leader.

We owed him respect, and perhaps that was why he felt the liberty to treat us the way he did. I couldn’t forget the words he’d said to me as he walked away, so arrogant and pretentious. I said ‘pretentious’ because he acted all mighty and high and untouchable, but he had no faith or religion, and so that made him a lesser man.

But the truth was that even if he was a religious man, I still couldn’t be with him. I made a promise to worship the goddess until the rest of my days—the same way the Head Priestess, Priestess Juvia, and Priestess Lila did.

Mine wasn’t official as I wasn’t twenty-one yet, but soon enough, it would be. And I intended to keep my promise. Two more weeks and I’d be a holy woman, perhaps one of the holiest of our world.

Why on earth would I exchange it for carnal pleasures? To me, there was no beauty in any of that. His crude words about taking me in front of mirrors didn’t affect me—

A shudder coursed through me, so strong that I had to close my eyes. I reminded myself that it was probably my nausea, and nothing else, that made my body tremble whenever I thought about him.

The sky outside lightened and I was still awake and immersed in prayers. Danna sat up in bed and watched me for the longest time. When I was done, I met her gaze, and she flashed me a small smile.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

I shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”

“You can be honest with me, you know. We’re friends.” After she said this, she stopped and then added, “I’m sorry about what I said last night. I was grumpy, and acting stupid. Will you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” I told her with a smile.

She waited for me to respond to her other question, and I sat on my bed and stared at the holy book on my lap. “I feel responsible for all of this. And I’m embarrassed and humiliated. I feel unclean, and unworthy.”

“No,” she said tenderly before sitting beside me. “Why would you think such a thing? You shouldn’t! It’s not your fault.”

“Why would the goddess make that horrible man my mate?” I asked. “It has to be a punishment for a sin I’ve committed unknowingly.”

Danna shook her head. “Don’t think that way.”

I wanted to cry right then and there, but someone knocked on our door, and that diverted the attention away from my emotions.

It was Sabrina, another priestess-in-training. “Eva, Head Priestess Bathsheba, and Priestess Juvia would like to speak with you.”

Fear tinged my soul. I exchanged a glance with Danna before standing up and following Sabrina out of the door. I was terrified that I would be kicked out of this place because of what happened last night. Alpha Cyrus should never have looked at my face. He committed a grave sin, and as a result, I have sinned as well.

We didn’t have to use our veils when we had no visitors, as we were all holy women living under the same roof. I passed by a few people and greeted them, but they all failed to greet me back. I was sure that they’d all heard the scandal by now, and maybe the fact that I’d asked to be given privacy made things worse. I’d only done that to protect the Head Priestess, though.

I didn’t do it with bad intentions.

My eyes were on the ground as I walked through the long, spacious hallway. The office was right at the end of the hall, and I was sure that was where we were headed. When we stepped in front of the door, Sabrina bowed to me—our usual goodbye—and walked away.

I raised my hand to knock on the door when I felt ready to face the women who raised me.

But the sound of an argument coming from behind the door made me pause, and I couldn’t help but listen to what they were saying.

“…only meant to protect her from all of this, and now, trouble has come to our very doorstep! I say we cast her away now before the worst happens! She was never ours to keep!”

“Juvia, how could you say such a thing?” Priestess Lila asked. I recognized her voice. “She is one of ours, and is actually the best priestess-in-training we have! Your words were cruel.”

“He threatened to burn the chapel down!” she exclaimed. “How can we sacrifice the life of forty-four for one?”

I reminded myself that eavesdropping was a sin, so I knocked, and they fell silent. The door was opened quickly, and Priestess Lila smiled at me as I stepped into the small office.

Their faces were all grave, and I had no doubts that they’d been talking about me before I entered. The Head Priestess cleared her throat and sat back in her chair. “How are you today, Eva?”

“I’ve been better,” I admitted.

“We’re here discussing your fate,” she stated. I already knew that because I’d been listening. “Some of us believe that it would be best to send you away and let the Alpha decide what to do with you.”

I froze. I meant to shake my head no. They couldn’t do that to me. All my life, I grew up here among the priestesses. Currently, I’m the oldest priestess-in-training.

This is all I know.

“There are others who believe that you’re a part of us, and so we must protect you from harm as it is our obligation. However, the choice is ultimately yours. What do you think is best? Will you stay here, or leave to be the Alpha’s mate?”

I pressed my lips together, then answered, “I would never leave the Convent.”

Priestess Juvia stepped in. “Being a Luna is also a blessing, Eva. It’s a respectable title, the same as being a priestess. You will lead a pack. There’s nothing sinful about that.”

“It’s sinful once I’ve given my promise to the goddess.”

“You haven’t done that yet,” she reminded me. “You’re still free to make whatever decision you wish. The goddess will not punish you for that.”

I met her gaze steadily. “Don’t my wants and wishes matter here? I want to stay. I want to do what’s right for me! I’m not meant to be anyone’s Luna. My place is here!”

Priestess Lila nodded at me. “We understand, my dear. And we are ready to fight for you.”

Priestess Juvia shook her head, and as she walked out of the office, said, “Then we should all be prepared to burn, then.”

After a few minutes, it was my turn to leave the office. I was relieved now that things had been settled; they wouldn’t kick me out, so I still had the opportunity to fight. Besides, it was possible that the Alpha was simply bluffing, and wouldn’t come back for me. Out of all the women he could choose, why me? Simply because of a half-formed mate bond? Rejections happened all the time. He’d reject me and move on, and then perhaps he’d find his second-chance mate.

I had no reason to despair.

Breakfast rolled around, and all of us reunited in the mess hall to eat. I had my usual breakfast—a bowl of oats and some fruit on the side. A carnivorous diet was not encouraged in our religion, so we always had something plant-based for breakfast, and tried to cut back on meat.

I was sitting beside Danna and a few other girls were seated around our table, but they were much younger than us. They were only children. I looked up and saw that many eyes were on me. Some judgmental. Very few were sympathetic.

It made me feel terrible, but all I could do was ignore them.

I was nearly done with my bowl of oatmeal when we heard footsteps racing toward us from down the hall. It was so silent that they echoed. We all looked at the door expectantly, waiting to see who it was and why they were running.

It was little Esther, and her hair was still wet. She was always late for breakfast. Her little frame was trembling, and her face was deathly pale.

“They’re burning the chapel!” she screamed. “They’re setting us on fire!”

Everyone stood up, horrified sounds filling the air around us. We raced toward the windows of the mess hall and peered out. The chapel was a distance away, but I could see what she was talking about.

It was on fire.

And he was the one doing it.

As if sensing my eyes on him, he turned around, a lit torch in his hand. We stared at each other through the glass, and a smug look came over his face.

Tears of hatred and rage slid down my cheeks, and as cries of despair left the mouths of my fellow priestesses, I realized that he’d done exactly what he said he’d do.

He won.