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Eight Am got me cleaning the house and arranging everything that needed arrangement. Eight Am saw me having my bath in days and brushing my hair out. Eight Am had me arranging my fridge and burning my nose wipes in an ash tray. I didn't even smoke but I had one. I smiled at myself. Crystal was coming over today and I didn't want to give her the expression that I was unhappy and depressed and beyond tired of everything at this point. I didn't want her to pity me in the tiniest bit or fashion and then try to help me heal just because she pitied me. It would break my heart and my remaining pride if I still had some left. I washed some apples that I was sure she would eat because although I tried to conceal the real situation of things, I couldn't conceal the lack of energy and strength and power to cook or to properly clean my house. It wasn't as if I was supposed to have visitors, I was in timeout and I had every right to make my timeout house anything I wished, it so happened that I wa