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old coping mechanisms
Last Updated:
2022-07-28 12:47:03Related chapters
Bloom i do not want to go down that road again
11I was bent down on the ground with my head in my knees, crying in the middle of the bathroom—luckily nobody was in here.The door opened but I couldn't stop crying. I tried to stop and compose myself before someone saw me in the midst of a breakdown but I could not stop. I couldn't get the crying to stop. It was a waterfall. A burst water pipe. "Hey," a soft voice spoke. Someone bent down, wrapping their arms around me. "It's okay. Just—breathe." I continued crying and sobbing for a minute. I sniffled, my breath hitching as I raised my head. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand. My legs were shaking I slowly stood up. "What are you doing here?" I whispered, my voice cracking.Zac smiled sadly, running a hand through my hair. "Are you okay?"I shrugged weakly, staring at his sweatshirt. I felt so—so utterly lost and shitty.I messed up badly. I knew I did. The disappointment on Bea's face—that stung hard. I know I messed up but seeing the disappointed look on Bea's face.
Last Updated : 2022-07-28Bloom you're already breaking my heart
12Saturday—I was sitting in my empty house, watching the news in the living room because I was too lazy to find the remote. The doorbell rang. I thought it was a package delivery because my dad loved wasting his money on old vinyl records or first edition books. When I opened the front door, my head tilted quizzically. "Miller? What are you doing at my house?"Zac grinned at me, amusement washing over his features. "Nice to see you too, Bloom." He allowed himself into my house, walking right past me. I gaped at him. "What—what are you doing here?" "Nice home," he glanced around. "Very—homey."I narrowed my eyes, baffled.What the hell was he doing here? "Zac." I grabbed his arm, pulling him to stop wandering around like an elf and look at me. "What are you doing here?" "Here I thought you'd be happy to see me. You're already breaking my heart, Bloom." He placed a hand on top of his heart, pouting out his bottom lip like a child.I rolled my eyes and swatted his arm. "Seriously
Last Updated : 2022-07-28Bloom were you behind it?
13I got to school late because I slept in.I was pulling my books out of my locker, the hallway was empty because class had already started so I wad the only one here. Or so I thought."Hey, Jazzy," Lucas walked over and leaned against the locker beside mine. He crossed his arms over his chest and gave me his usual arrogant little smirk. He just got here and his eyes were already dancing with amusement.I mentally groaned. I shut my eyes and exhaled through my noes, trying to keep my calm. This was really not how I wanted to start my day.I turned to look at him, plastering on the most forced and fake smile I could manage. "Lucas, always a pleasure to see you."He quirked an eyebrow, growing more amused because he could already easily see he was getting under my skin. He didn't even have to try, his presence simply irritated me because he was a jackass. The biggest of them all, too."I guess your little lover-boy didn't get the message."I narrowed my eyes, suddenly growing more inte
Last Updated : 2022-07-28Bloom this is because of you
14"Come on Jas—are you really not going to talk to me now?" Evan groaned, following me down the hallway as I tried to get to class. I hadn't talked to him since I confronted him. It was just not okay that he went after Zac—especially over something as stupid as being jealous? I was tutoring Zac, we were friends—I was dating Evan. I couldn't see what there was for him to be so jealous or threatened by. Evan went too far, getting Zac hurt like that. "Jas—" Evan grabbed my arm and halted me to a stop. "Are you going to be mad at me over Miller? Seriously?" He spat out Zac's name with disgust. I was baffled. I laughed humourlessly. "This isn't because of Zac. This is because of you. Frankly, you not being able to see that is what makes this even worse."Evan rolled his eyes, scoffing. "I understand that you're mad at me but I told you, I didn—""Stop." I pulled my arm away and took a step away from Evan. "I don't want to hear your excuses. I know you did this, Evan. Stop lying to me."
Last Updated : 2022-07-28Bloom i don't want you to hate me
15I somehow found myself going to another party—not to attend but to pick up my drunk best friend. Jade had a family dinner so she couldn't pick Bea up—which left me to make sure she would get home safe. I didn't mind. I scrambled through the crowd of sweaty, liquor-reeking bodies to try to catch sight of Bea. It was a difficult task with the house being this crowded and Bea being rather short. "Woah—Jasmine?"I looked up when my shoulder bumped against someone else's. "Hey, Shane." I smiled lightly, still glancing around to hunt for Bea within the crowd. I'd like to get out of here sooner than later. "What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming." Shane grinned giddily. I could tell he had quite a bit to drink. I could smell it on his breath—see it on his face as he swayed his head side to side. I sighed, meeting his eyes again. "I'm looking for Bea—have you seen her?" Shane laughed—due to the alcohol in his system that made something I said seem funnier than it was.
Last Updated : 2022-07-28Bloom she decided
16I stared between my friends, at a loss. I looked at them intently, hoping they would help me—just tell me what to do. "What—what do I do?" Bea scoffed, her head tilting back as she laughed. "You're asking me? Dude—you know I'm going to tell you to break up with him. It's not like you need him."I pouted like a child, whining. I was just—so utterly confused. "Is it really justified to break up with him because he went after Zac? I mean—we've never had any fights or disagreements—or anything before this."Jade narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. "Well—are you doing it because you're seeing Evan's true colours and don't like what you're seeing? Or is it because of Zac?""Zac?"Jade nodded firmly. "Yes. Because you don't like that Zac got hurt because of you. Because you worry about Zac instead of Evan. Because what Zac wants is more important to you than what Evan wants."I blinked.Well—I don't know.Of course I cared about Zac.But Evan... I still held feelings for him, I just didn't
Last Updated : 2022-07-28Bloom see me like this
17"Zac is drunk out of his mind. Can you come?"My eyebrows pulled together. Why was John calling me to tell me this? I thought Zac was done with that stuff.I just—I shouldn't have expected that he would really stop for me. Just saying that makes me want to laugh. Of course he wouldn't. But even if he is drunk—why did John need me there? I sat down on the end of my bed. "Why do you need me to come, John? I'm sure you've dealt with this enough times to do it again now. I mean—how could I possibly help? Just—just take him home."I heard some fumbling before John sighed. "I don't know. We're not a party, we're at his house—and he won't calm down. Maybe you can calm him down since he isn't listening to me or Shane." I laughed dryly. How could I possibly calm him down if his own best friend couldn't? "John—I want to help but Zac doesn't need me."John hesitated for a moment. "I think he does, Jas.""What—what are you talking about?"John heaved out a heavy breath, evidently growing fr
Last Updated : 2022-07-28Bloom it felt right
18When I woke up the next morning, there was a weight over me. I blinked my eyes open, squinting. Zac was peacefully asleep, his head on my chest and arm slung over my waist. He looked like an adorable little child—his face relaxed, no tension hiding behind his features. From this up close, I could see the faint freckles that spotted over his nose. Memories from the previous night flooded my mind.Guilt coursed through my body. I hadn't meant to fall asleep. I was going to wait for Zac to doze off and then spend the night in the recliner if I had to. Evan. This was—wrong. I felt sick at myself. Zac and I were friends and I did adore and care for him but this wasn't honourable—I had a boyfriend. I analyzed every line and dot on Zac's face. He looked so tranquil and calm—I didn't want to wake him up. His eyelashes were long enough to brush against the top of his cheek. His jawline was carved perfectly like a sculpture. There was a slight stubble forming on across his jaw. His lips
Last Updated : 2022-07-28
Latest chapter
Bloom Within
As soon as I walked into Tyler's house, I wanted to turn and walk right out. The house was packed, the air smelling like sweat and booze and the music making my eardrums vibrate. "Why did I agree to come?" I walked over to Bea and Jade, shaking my head already. "I'm surprised you came," Jade admitted. She glanced around, trying to spot more familiar faces. Bea cocked her head to the side, eyeing me with confusion. "Did you Uber?" I nodded, scanning the room to try to spot Evan. "Long story—I'll fill you in later." Bea pulled both mine and jade's arms as she dragged us into the kitchen. "Let's get out drink on, bitches." I scrunched my nose as the strong smell of liquor flooded my senses. I shook my head when Bea held a drink out for me to take. "You know I don't drink." Bea sighed. "You're not DD tonight." I shook my head again. "No—thanks." Luckily for me, my knight in shining armour cut in. "You look lovely—as always." Evan wrapped his arms around me from behind, leaning do
Bloom One more time
was sitting outside on the bleachers by myself at lunch—when Zac came over to me. He didn't say anything. He walked up the bleachers and sat down beside me, silently. After a moment, he spoke quietly. "It's cold outside, you shouldn't sit here. You're going to get sick." He took off his coat and placed it over my shoulders.I looked at him flatly. "I don't care if I get sick, Zac.""I do." He just looked at me. Both his gaze and voice were gentle. I ran a hand down my face sighed. "I'm—I'm sorry I lost it this morning."Zac shook his head frantically, his eyebrows pulling together. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Bloom. I'm the one who—well, I apologize for Shane being a dumbass.""He didn't know." I shrugged. "Not his fault. It's not anyones—I just don't like my birthday."Zac turned to look out at the empty field. "I hate Christmas." I looked at him. "It just reminds me of how fucked up my family is—reminds me how much my family isn't even really a family." He chuckled dryly.
Bloom It use to be real
Saturday—I was sitting in my empty house, watching the news in the living room because I was too lazy to find the remote. The doorbell rang. I thought it was a package delivery because my dad loved wasting his money on old vinyl records or first edition books. When I opened the front door, my head tilted quizzically. "Miller? What are you doing at my house?"Zac grinned at me, amusement washing over his features. "Nice to see you too, Bloom." He allowed himself into my house, walking right past me. I gaped at him. "What—what are you doing here?" "Nice home," he glanced around. "Very—homey."I narrowed my eyes, baffled.What the hell was he doing here? "Zac." I grabbed his arm, pulling him to stop wandering around like an elf and look at me. "What are you doing here?" "Here I thought you'd be happy to see me. You're already breaking my heart, Bloom." He placed a hand on top of his heart, pouting out his bottom lip like a child.I rolled my eyes and swatted his arm. "Seriously, w
Bloom Then it was real
You're here!" I squealed as I jumped into Cody's arms and hugged the life out of him. After a ten minute hug, he laughed as he let go of me. I took a step back to take a look at his appearance.He wasn't anything like I remembered.No longer a brace-face, his hair was longer and styled upwards, his eyes looked brighter, he was no longer and skinny and lanky guy but instead was pretty well built and much, much taller now. I had to admit, Cody was really, really attractive now which was weird seeing considering we always knew him as the nerdy, brace face, little boy.Of course I had facetimed him over the years and saw his posts on social media but actually seeing him in person after all years felt a little overwhelming."You look amazing, Jabz. No longer looking like a shy little girl hiding behind her hair."I laughed as we walked into my house, "I still am a shy little girl hiding behind my hair, when I want to be, Co. You however, don't fit the whole nerd stereotype anymore."Cody q
Bloom We got a message
I had texted Bloom during last period to tell her to meet me at my house so she could tutor me.As much as I hated chemistry, studying with Bloom actually made sense. The way she explained things made it easy to understand. She was incredibly patient with me. She wouldn't get frustrated when I got distracted or started messing around. She remained composed when I was having a hard time understanding something.I just—I liked having her tutor me.It was weird. I would have never pictured myself friends with Bloom.Are we even friends?I think we are—or maybe she's just tolerating me because she has to tutor me.I don't know but I don't mind her—which is surprising because a lot of people annoy me.Bloom—she's just pure and wholesome and—I don't know. She just makes me want to keep her safe—or some ridiculous sappy shit like that.What does piss me off though—is that jackass Evan she's dating.How the hell does someone as kind and pure as Jasmine date a piece of shit like Evan.God, I j
Bloom Reach for it
I was wrapped up in multiple blankets, laying in my bed and watching sad romance movies on Netflix when my room door was swung open and in came Shane, Bea, Jade, and John.I groaned, grabbing a pillow and putting it over my face, screaming into it.Bea walked over and grabbed the pillow, taking it away from me. She whacked me on the head with the pillow before dropping and crossing her arms over her chest."You all can kindly leave me to sulk." I muttered, still staring at the tv screen and avoiding all their gazes.Shane grabbed the remote before I had a chance to and turned the tv off.It had been another two weeks and still not a word from Zac. What was I even waiting for at this point?"Get out," I muttered dully, staring at the ceiling."No," Bea stated firmly. "How about you get out of bed."I ignored her."Come on, Jas," Jade sighed. "You have to do something other than... this. This is all you've been doing. We miss you.""And I miss him," I grumbled, still not looking at any
Bloom The way we are
As soon as I walked into Tyler's house, I wanted to turn and walk right out. The house was packed, the air smelling like sweat and booze and the music making my eardrums vibrate. "Why did I agree to come?" I walked over to Bea and Jade, shaking my head already. "I'm surprised you came," Jade admitted. She glanced around, trying to spot more familiar faces. Bea cocked her head to the side, eyeing me with confusion. "Did you Uber?" I nodded, scanning the room to try to spot Evan. "Long story—I'll fill you in later." Bea pulled both mine and jade's arms as she dragged us into the kitchen. "Let's get out drink on, bitches." I scrunched my nose as the strong smell of liquor flooded my senses. I shook my head when Bea held a drink out for me to take. "You know I don't drink." Bea sighed. "You're not DD tonight." I shook my head again. "No—thanks." Luckily for me, my knight in shining armour cut in. "You look lovely—as always." Evan wrapped his arms around me from behind, leaning do
Bloom Keep your distance
As soon as I walked into Tyler's house, I wanted to turn and walk right out. The house was packed, the air smelling like sweat and booze and the music making my eardrums vibrate. "Why did I agree to come?" I walked over to Bea and Jade, shaking my head already. "I'm surprised you came," Jade admitted. She glanced around, trying to spot more familiar faces. Bea cocked her head to the side, eyeing me with confusion. "Did you Uber?" I nodded, scanning the room to try to spot Evan. "Long story—I'll fill you in later." Bea pulled both mine and jade's arms as she dragged us into the kitchen. "Let's get out drink on, bitches." I scrunched my nose as the strong smell of liquor flooded my senses. I shook my head when Bea held a drink out for me to take. "You know I don't drink." Bea sighed. "You're not DD tonight." I shook my head again. "No—thanks." Luckily for me, my knight in shining armour cut in. "You look lovely—as always." Evan wrapped his arms around me from behind, leaning do
Bloom We're you behind it
I got to school late because I slept in.I was pulling my books out of my locker, the hallway was empty because class had already started so I wad the only one here. Or so I thought."Hey, Jazzy," Lucas walked over and leaned against the locker beside mine. He crossed his arms over his chest and gave me his usual arrogant little smirk. He just got here and his eyes were already dancing with amusement.I mentally groaned. I shut my eyes and exhaled through my noes, trying to keep my calm. This was really not how I wanted to start my day.I turned to look at him, plastering on the most forced and fake smile I could manage. "Lucas, always a pleasure to see you."He quirked an eyebrow, growing more amused because he could already easily see he was getting under my skin. He didn't even have to try, his presence simply irritated me because he was a jackass. The biggest of them all, too."I guess your little lover-boy didn't get the message."I narrowed my eyes, suddenly growing more interes
