Chapter 1 - Leo

“I miss you. Do you think after the new year you will be able to visit? I know my parents won’t like it, but I could manage to sneak away.” I sighed, rolling onto my stomach, my voice barely above a whisper. 

I can’t be too sure that my parents or my obnoxious brother aren’t outside the door trying to listen in. While Oscar would have a harder time not having his wolf yet, my parents could easily hear me. Planning to meet up with River is the last thing I want them to know about.

They’ve been thrilled these previous two years since they moved away. I don’t even understand why they hated them. Well, let me rephrase I don’t see the logic, but I know why my parents hate River.

River isn’t part of the pack. They are human and nonbinary like me. My family and pack are the definitions of basic white bitches. They are total purists. If there were a way to do it, our pack would never associate with humans or other supernatural creatures. To the Silvermane pack, anyone not a pure werewolf is inferior. 

It’s total bullshit. I’d happily never awaken my wolf if it meant I could be with River. But I am a full-blooded werewolf. So like it or not, now that I’m sixteen, I’ll go through my first shift on the next full moon. And I don’t know what my wolf will be like. I worry that they will be like the rest of this pack and tell me I’m a girl and should act like one. I’ve never really felt like a girl, and the way this pack treats females certainly doesn’t make me want to be one. 

“I don’t know. I’m hoping I can. I’m old enough to go alone, but you know my mom.” River grumbled. “But maybe if I get daddy Hale on my side, she’ll come around to letting me travel solo. As it stands, she’d probably want to make it some family trip, and I don’t want to share my Leo time with them.”

“THEY WERE MY FRIEND FIRST! You wouldn’t even have a Leo if not for me.” I heard Sage taunt in the background. Our calls often go like this since they have to share a room. But it won’t be forever since River said their stepbrother and his girlfriend are moving out after their wedding in April.

I miss them both. Sage is always so much fun to hang out with. But even if they are identical twins, they are very different. So while Sage was total friend material, I knew they were different when I met River. I don’t get the belly flips and butterflies when I’m around Sage or anyone else. Just with River. 

“Well, the most you can do is try. I’d say I would try to come there, but we both know until I can get out from under my parents’ legal control, that won’t happen.” I sighed.

I wish I could tell River the truth. I wish I could say that I won’t be out of their control until I find my mate, and then I would be considered my mate’s property. And human mates are super rare; they are like fairy tales. So the chances of River being mine are low. But you know what, I don’t care what my wolf says or feels about it; I’ll choose River. 

“Yeah, they suck. I wanted to put you in my suitcase and bring you here when we moved. I still say you’d have fit.” River grumbled.

“Mom told you not only would that be kidnapping, but it would also be inhumane.” Sage dryly remarked. “Now tell Leo goodbye. We don’t want to be late, plus it’s getting late there. Leo’s three hours in the future. BYE, FUTURE PERSON!” Sage’s voice grew louder at the end, so I could only imagine them leaning over River to scream into the phone.

“Sage is right. It is getting late. I don’t want to get caught on my phone… again. I don’t think I could take another month with no way to communicate with you.” I frowned, glancing at the clock seeing it was almost ten here on the east coast.

“Alright, fine. I don’t wanna go, but I’ll call you tomorrow and text you.” River conceded. “Bye, Bunno.” 

“Night, Wolfie.“ I smiled. River may not be a werewolf, but they will always be my Wolfie, and I’ll always be their Bunno. I sighed as I turned my phone off and put it in my hidden charging area. Yes, I hide my phone even when it’s charging. You haven’t met my parents, so you don’t get how controlling they are.

Speaking of the controlling shits, I’m surprised one of them hasn’t strolled into my bedroom without knocking, by the way, to tell me I needed to go to bed. I found this change in their routine odd and decided to find out what may be keeping my wardens from their usual curfew rounds. 

I had to be cautious as I avoided every squeaky floorboard in the hallway, especially past Oscar’s room. If that brat hears me, he would totally shout to our parents that I’m out of my room. He’s a total nark. He gets a twisted pleasure in rubbing it in my face that no matter how I feel, the pack will always see me as a female, and females are only good for one thing, according to our pack… breeding. 

I wrinkled my nose just thinking about that. It’s like living in The Handmaid’s Tale. It’s bullshit, and I can’t believe the she-wolves all go along. Though I guess there are probably those that tried to stand up, to fight back, and ended up beaten into submission or dead. But then there are females like my mom who think this is how things should be—brainwashed much?

My ears perked as I carefully started down the stairs. I could hear my parents’ voices, more so my father’s, since obviously a female should be seen, not heard.

EYE ROLL.

Honestly, if this is how all werewolf packs are run, I suddenly understand why there are rogues. Who in their right mind would want to be in a pack if this is how they treat you? 

But it wasn’t my parents’ voices that got my attention. Hearing them in our house was to be expected. What had me confused and nervous was the voice of our Beta, Tucker Preston, aka Fucker Prickface. What is he doing at our house? And so late? Is the pack under attack or something? Maybe if we are, I could use the chaos as a distraction to get the fuck out of here.

“So then we agree. The full moon that Marybeth shifts, I will take her as my mate.” Fucker…. oops, I mean… Tucker stated, extending his hand to my father. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I’M BEING TRADED LIKE DAMN CATTLE, OR THIS IS THE 1800S!!!!????

“Agreed, Beta Tucker.” My dad nodded, shaking Fucker’s hand with a smile. “I do warn you that Marybeth has some behavior problems. She spent too much time around humans and is under the false impression she’s this human construct of nonbinary and is adamant she’s not a female.” 

“Don’t worry, Theodore. She’ll fall into line when I’ve marked her. She and her wolf will be submissive like a female ought to be. And if she isn’t, she’ll learn the hard way that the male is the one in power. She’ll be an ideal mate like her mother once she’s carrying my pup.” Fucker flashed a smug smile.

LIKE FUCKING HELL! I am NOT letting that piece of shit be my mate. Hell, even if he were my fated mate, I’d kill myself first! Nope. Nope. And oh, did I mention NO-MUTHA-FUCKING-PE! It took every ounce of self-control not to rush in and start throwing shit at their faces. 

I had so much I wanted to say, okay, so much I wanted to scream but knew it would only get me locked in my room or worse, the basement until the full moon. How dare they try to sell me off to Fucker Prickface!? Or to anyone, for that matter? The Goddess gives us mates for a reason! How can we be a purist pack if we don’t even obey our Goddess?

This settles it. I am getting the hell out of this place before I shift. But when? I only have twenty days until the next full moon. As I contemplated how to escape, I crept back to my room. I wanted to call River or at least text them. I had to stop myself because I didn’t want there to be a way for my parents or others in the pack to find out my plans.

I hope that River can understand why I’m keeping them in the dark and will forgive me for all the secrets I’ve been keeping from them. I settled into bed and feigned being asleep when my mother checked on me. In reality, I was on my phone checking bus schedules for New Year. It would be the best time to run away. The pack always has a big fireworks show so that people will be distracted. I need to get the necessary herbs between now and then to cover my scent to give myself a head start.

Portland or Bust.