Chapter 1 - Hale

There is nothing weirder and more unsettling for someone my age than to be lying on a twin bed in their childhood bedroom. I haven’t been in this room in twenty-six years. Not since I moved out to be with Jennifer.

It’s like a time capsule here. Anything I didn’t take when I moved out was still exactly where I left it. Though I think it was cleaner than when I moved out.

Not a surprise my old room is still spotless. Mom never did like things to be untidy.

I furrowed my brow as I thought back to living here. Mom was always trying to keep things clean and in order. As I reflect on it, I don’t think it was because she needed it to be spotless, but because he did.

Shit, I’m a terrible son. How much abuse did I not notice growing up? How much did I turn a blind eye to?

If I had noticed back then, I could have done something. I still had Jason back then. I’d have been more than strong enough to take my father on with Jason.

I could have taken it to Alpha John, and maybe then mom would have been strong enough to reject him, to survive the choice to put herself first and leave a toxic mating.

And now, because of my inaction as a young man, I’m back in this room, in this house, all to be sure my mom doesn’t break down and hurt herself or try to get to my father while he serves penance for hitting her. I couldn’t stop him that night.

I could have reacted fast enough if I wasn’t some useless wolfless werewolf. Am I even truly a werewolf if I don’t have Jason?

All I know is I didn’t react fast enough, but little Suzie did. Well, she’s not little anymore as she is old enough to be my new daughter-in-law.

Then Austin handled the aftermath. He went through the proper channels and took the abuse to Alpha Logan. I don’t know if Alpha John would have handled my father as roughly as Alpha Logan did, but I know he wouldn’t have been kind.

Alpha John and his ranked wolves, including my late father-in-law, Beta Thomas, had strike policies regarding abuse. But Alpha John wasn’t as short-tempered as Alpha Logan.

Not that I’m saying it’s a bad thing. Alpha Logan is a damn fine Alpha, and I won’t find fault in him or Luna Aurelia for giving my father a proper beating.

My father has only ever recognized one thing in this world, power. So perhaps a display of Alpha Logan and Luna Aurelia’s strength is what he needs to get in line and change. Not that I’ll hold my breath.

“Hale?” Mom whispered my name and poked her head into the room, holding a tray.

“Mom? What are you doing? It’s late. Shouldn’t you be resting?” I frowned, sitting up.

“Oh well, I was worried about you. It’s been a long time since you slept at home. So I thought you might have trouble sleeping… so.” Mom meekly shrugged, offering a tray of warm milk and cookies.

I sighed. When I was little, mom would bring me warm milk and cookies. But I’m not a little kid anymore. I’m here for her, not the other way around.

“Mom… I appreciate it, but I’m here for you. You don’t need to fuss over me. If you can’t sleep, maybe you’re the one that needs the warm milk and cookies.” I reminded her.

“I’m your mother. No matter how old you get, you’ll always be my pup. I could never put myself over you.” She shook her head.

“I get it, mom. I appreciate it, but I’m worried about you.” I frowned, getting up and taking the tray from her.

“Why don’t I make you a cup of chamomile tea? I remember you drinking that most evenings.” I offered, putting an arm around her to steer her in the direction of the kitchen.

“Well… I… if you insist.” She relented with a subtle flinch.

“Mom, you realize you don’t have to do anything you don’t want, right? I’m not him. I’m not Dad. If you don’t want tea, that’s okay.” I assured her.

Goddess, how deep does her fear of him go? How deep-rooted must it be if she’s even afraid to upset me or possibly anyone? It breaks my heart.

“I.. well, may some Irish coffee, heavy on the Irish, would be nice.” She softly answered.

“You got it, mom. Coffee extra Irish.” I smiled, nodding as I directed her to the kitchen table.

As I was making her coffee, I froze as I added the whiskey. A long forgotten memory comes to mind at the smell.

“Mom, you never drank Chamomile, did you? You would always drink this. This was how you coped with him. How you coped with his abuse.” I frowned, putting the bottle down.

She lowered her head to not look at me as I brought her the drink. That’s a silent yes. How did I miss that? How could I not remember it before now?

“Mom, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t stand up for you, that I didn’t stop him back then.” I apologized, sitting down.

“Oh Hale, you make it sound like being with your father is some horrible thing.” She sighed, almost dismissive of his actions.

“I love him, and he loves me. I know what you all saw last week was a shock, but he isn’t abusive. He was just upset.” Mom defended him.

“You’re lying, Mom. Lying to me and worse to yourself. The smell of the whiskey reminded me.” I shook my head,

“A long forgotten memory of being a kid. I found you on the kitchen floor, you had a red handprint on your face, and the bottle of whiskey was broken on the ground.” I frowned, recalling the memory.

“It was nothing, Hale. Your father doesn’t like liquor in the house.” Mom shook her head.

“Mom, please stop trying to cover for him. You would always talk away what he did and send me off with cookies and milk.” I sighed, shaking my head.

“I know it’s hard for you to understand, Hale. But all relationships are different. No matter what, I always know your father loves me at the end of the day.” She defended.

“And no matter how much you or Clemmy or even Alpha Logan tell me he’s a bad man, I love my mate and would never leave him or speak ill of him.” Mom shook her head as she sipped her Irish coffee.

I sighed, getting back up and kissing the top of her head, telling her goodnight. She’s right. Nothing I say is going to change her mind.

To her, this is just how their relationship is, and there is no changing it. All I can do is watch over her and do what I can to ensure my father never hits her again.

I spent two weeks with my mom, taking time off from work to be there with her. It worked out well, as shortly after Austin and Suzie returned from visiting her brother, she went into heat. I didn’t want to be in the house when she was in heat.

I felt out of place enough living with them that I considered staying a little longer to watch my father, but Alpha Logan told me to go home. He assured me that my father would be monitored closely in ways he would not detect.

Things around the house settled into a routine with the three of us. It was nice having a female in the house after so many years. But I’ll admit it made me miss Jen all that more.

I was in my office working on some reports for work and figuring out how this new staff member HR hired would fit into upcoming marketing projects when a knock caught my attention.

“Come in.” I called out, turning my attention to the door as my son and Suzie walked in.

I furrowed my brow as both looked a bit like a kid who thinks they got away with sneaking treats before dinner. What did they do? And then I noticed Suzie was holding my cell phone.

“Suzie? Why do you have my phone? I thought I had it charging here on my desk.” I questioned.

“You did.” Suzie shrugged.

“Dad, when you are focused on something, you don’t notice anything else.” Austin smirked.

“Well, may I have it back and explain why you would take it?” I sighed, holding my hand out.

“Of course, Hale. But well, don’t be angry at us, especially at Austin. This was all my idea.” Suzie sighed, hesitating about giving me my phone.

“Suzanne Bernice, give me my phone, or I will use the landline to call your mother.” I threatened.

“No need for that, Dad. Plus, if she told Edith why she took your phone, I bet money she’d be okay with it.” Austin chuckled.

“What did you two do?” I sighed as Suzie finally handed over my phone.

I was scrolling through my apps, looking for anything strange. Then I saw it. An Icon I don’t recognize.

“What is this?” I demanded as I hit the icon.

My eyebrows raised as a dating app, a Goddess damned DATING APP, loaded. They installed a dating app on my phone!?

“It’s called Kindred Spirits. It’s a dating app. But it’s not like most dating apps meant for hookups.” Austin shrugged.

“I should hope the hell not. Why would you install this? I may not have my wolf anymore, but I am not the sort to sleep around even wolfless.” I frowned at the app.

“I’m not judging anyone who does. I’m just not that kind of man. And I’m going to be forty-six this year. I’m too old for dating.” I sighed.

“I wouldn’t even know how to date. The only person I’ve ever been involved with was your mother. I don’t think it needs to change.” I shook my head.

“But that’s the thing, Hale. You’re miserable. We know it. We can see it. We know seeing us makes you miss Jennifer. And while I never met her, I can’t imagine her wanting you to spend the rest of your life sad and alone.” Suzie frowned.

“Give it a chance, Dad. Suzanne is right. I know mom wouldn’t want you miserable and alone like this. She’d want you to be happy.” Austin folded his arms.

I know they are right. At least about Jennifer. She was such a vibrant, passionate woman who was always smiling and trying to make me smile. Not that it took much. Just looking at her made me smile.

“And this app is well reviewed. You match based on common interests, and no photos are revealed until the third day of communication. So you won’t get women swiping right simply because you’re handsome.” Suzie explained.

I rolled my eyes cause she was only saying that to A. butter me up and B. because Austin is a younger version of me. I want to tell them, no, but I can tell they are doing this for my benefit.

“Fine, I’ll try it. I make no promises. After all, once you’ve met your soulmate, no one can ever compare.” I conceded to their grins.

“Thank you, Hale. We know no one can or would replace Jennifer. But the capacity for love is infinite. Good luck. You already have like twenty matches.” Suzie grinned.

“Have fun, Dad. We’ll be out of your hair for a few hours. Heading to the movies.” Austin waved, wrapping an arm around his mate as they left me to look at this app.

I scrolled through the profiles of the twenty women I was matched with. I wasn’t even sure where to begin. I stopped on a profile called EMomma. A single mother of two noted as new to Portland, nature lover, career-oriented, and creative.

Well, at least we could share parenting stories. I won’t hold my breath that this would lead to anything.

‘Hello, EMomma? I have no idea what I’m doing on this app. So pardon the awkward greeting.’ I frowned at the message but hit send anyway.