006: Painful realization

×Anastasia×

Dressing up for a party, would have been so much fun, if it was three years ago and my parents still had their limbs and hearts working. But now, it sucks. I avoided going to school today, I'm failing classes, obviously, I can see that. The teachers hate me, the gym teacher was going to make my life hell if I showed my face..

So I had no choice but to stay in my room, eating ice cream and crying.

My phone at buzzed at five fifteen pm, somehow Griffin had gotten my number. Or he already had it. I don't know.

Fuck, I hate not knowing anything. It is horrible.

I can't do anything, the people of the pack ignore me. I can't go to school, I've wrong every single person. I didn't think it was possible to do that. Who has the ability to upset every person in a high school? A psycho janitor included.

If it wasn't for Dell I'd have joined my parents today. I hate everything. And I hate myself the most.

So here I am, trying to look presentable for a party I'm sure is going to suck. People will be mean to me, they'll probably hit me again. Or drug my drink so I can die from poisoning, or worse.

I just, wish I knew what exactly I did wrong. They won't tell me, but they're comfortable hurting me.

Ugh.

I tied the lace to the converse and tried to think of something else. My mind drifted towards Griffin and Dell.

I remember them. I just hadn't realized it because of the piercings and the glare. Griffin, the alpha's son, has been in my life for as long as I can remember. Not as friends, or barely even acquaintances, he's just been there. At every school, every class, everywhere.

But we hardly spoke. The only person I've had a full conversation with would be Dell. He had introduced himself as Dell in fifth grade when I had scraped my knee running track. No one offered me help, obviously, I'm a Gastillo.

The last now.

Dell tended to my injury, and sat with me all day. I thought it was Griffin at first, but there was a difference. Griffin is usually empty, like he can't help not feeling anything. Especially when I look at him, he's always empty.

Dell on the other hand, has emotions. And in the hours we talked, I was called flower. Something that made me feel safe and not alone in school.

We never spoke again, and I only saw Griffin. I think Dell is his wolf, I'm just not sure. But, what other explanation could there be?

I remember a time I tried to talk to Griffin, but I got so scared of him. If only young me could see that he's scarier now. It was valentine's day, and I got alot of letters but I didn't accept any of them, they'd only end up complaining about my parents or attempting to get back at my aforementioned parents, through me. I wrote a letter for Griffin, and Dell- it was two for one.

Griffin was menacing, even at that young age. People avoided him like a plague, but I wanted to be his friend. And I wanted to talk to Dell as well. In an easier way, I wanted to be friends with both of them. I had a crush.

After I chickened out, I waited until he had left for his class and the hall was empty, to slip the note into his locker. Then I freaked, and tried to get it back but I heard footsteps.

I didn't get the note back, Griffin didn't say anything- so I'm guessing he threw it out- and I moved on.

Vanessa is the only one I told about that. I miss her so much.

I can't believe I would be so cruel, putting my own best friend in a wheelchair. What kind of monster does that?

My phone vibrated next to me, I reached for it. Thumbing the notification.

Griffin: I'm outside. Get your ass out here now.

Me: …. Okay

I grabbed my jacket, shoving my phone and wallet into one of its pockets before zipping it up. I made my way downstairs, stopping when I spotted Alexis looking out the window. She turned, hearing my shoes squeak against the floor.

Since she left me yesterday morning, we haven't spoken to each other. And I'm going to keep it that way. I had to walk to school in high heeled boots, and I was almost killed.

I really considered her my friend, and I'll do my part to apologize for whatever it is high school me had done to her, by keeping my distance.

I walked the rest of the way down, cutting of eye contact. I opened the door and left, taking a spare key with me.

I didn't look back to check if she was still there, it's not my business.

Griffin's body, rested against the huge black motorcycle. I don't do motorcycles, but I'm sure he'll say something mean if I bring it up so I fold my lips into my mouth to keep from talking.

"What are you wearing?" He asks, venom filling his voice. And his eyes narrowed into a glare. He ran them from the top of my head to my feet.

"Um, clothes?" I answered vaguely. I wanted to wear something I can run in. Just in case someone chases me, and tries to kill me. Yes, I might have developed some paranoia.

I chose simple fits. A short red tight, and a mini tube top that said tomboy. The jacket is leather to protect me from the heat. And of course, no heels.

I can run in them, but not as fast as I want.

"I can see that dumbass. I was expecting a skirt so short I can see your underwear." He grumbles out and I blush.

Have I really worn that out?

"I can go change if you-”

Griffin quickly shakes his head, dismissing the offer. Relief hits me, If I stepped back into that house he won't be seeing me until Monday.

"You're freaking me out with your niceness. Here." He shoves a helmet into my hand. I only stared at it. Not sure what I'm supposed to do with it.

I don't know how to wear one of these.

"You are a hopeless bitch."

I wince, and Griffin's frown deepens. I should just go back. Dell might think Griffin is going to help me, but I doubt anyone cares about my family but me.

So I straighten up, and say "it's fine. Go to your party. You don't have to do anything just because Dell wants you too."

"You don't know him." He bites at me.

My feet moves one inch back.

"I don't, I agree. I never had the chance too."

"You did, but you being the Gastillo you are, you ruined it."

What?

Griffin glowers and approaches me like an uncaged beast. His eyes flare red, and worry creeps through me. Soon my back is pressed against the gate, and he's blocking any path I have to escape.

"I don't remember anything. I've been trying to tell people that. To apologize, no one will listen." I almost break into sobs. I'm so tired of it. "They won't even tell me what I did wrong. So I can fix it."

"Some shit can't be fixed, Anastasia. Soem of them, have been emotionally destroyed by you. You can't just expect forgiveness right out of the box, just because you can't remember what you did."

"I know that. But what about you?" He looks taken aback. "Or the rest of them. Are they perfect? I bet they've all done something they'd like to keep buried. Imagine losing the memory of that and it comes back to bite you." I hiss my words out. Anger mixing with my pain. "You wouldn't be standing here telling me this if you were in my shoes."

"Oh please, you're a Gastillo. You don't deserve even the littlest bit of human decency."

My jaw tightens, and I nod. I shove him out of my way, and dump the helmet next to the gate. People are going to try and kill me, I'm sure worse things will happen in school, and because of whatever I did, I don't deserve human decency. Might as well throw myself into traffic to get this all over with.

But I won't.

I'll leave town, after graduation. Even if I have no limbs by them. I'll get out of everyone's hair, in nine months.

Griffin won't help me, and that's fine. Alexis won't help me either, that's okay.

Mom and dad, I'll find out who killed you guys on my own. I'm a Gastillo, we're the strongest omegas Grimsborrow has ever had. Everyone hates us, but that's okay.

Who wants to be liked anyway?

'Anastasia, watch out!'

I heard a loud beep sound, and turned in time to see a truck speeding towards me. But I don't move, a flash crosses my mind. The symbol on the truck, I've seen it somewhere. On a ring. I tilt my head

Fingers grip the back of neck, and hoist me off my feet with full force.

I don't scream, feeling something in my stomach.

I have seen that symbol on the ring. The image in my head is fuzzy. I can't make out if the hand is feminine or masculine. But I have definitely seen it.

I blink, feeling my body move back and forth. Griffin is glaring at me, but I'm so dizzy I can see something close to worry in his eyes.

Shaking that mistake away, I tried to wiggle out of his grasp. Failing miserably.

"What the fuck is your problem!?! I get it, I said some harsh shit but that is no reason to just jump into traffic."

I didn't know when that happened. "Why did you follow me? Shouldn't you be happy I almost died? Gastillos don't deserve human decency." I repeat back to him. Forcing him to let me go, by stepping on his feet.

"That is- are you fucking stupid? You'd normally never let soem words get to you."

The people on the street stop walking, pretending they're not listening. "Great now they think we're friends." Griffin mumbles beneath his breath.

"In case you've gone deaf, I have amnesia. Do you think I enjoy people screaming at me? Trying to stab me? Slapping me, feeding me uncooked meat, or tossing my papers into the trash bin, because I don't! I don't know what I did. And if they would tell me, I'd like to fix it. But everyone is so heartless they want revenge. Well that makes you as bad as me then!" I yelled back at him. Turning to walk away. Tears stream from my eyes, my I raise my arm to my mouth to block out my noises.

"You're the alpha's son, be nicer." I heard a lady say from the crowd that had gathered.

"She's right, she has amnesia. Have some respect. The poor thing has lost her entire family, horrible or not, they were her family." Another person adds.

"Fuck off you old hags! Geez!" Griffin shouts to the people. And whispering starts.

All I can do is walk slowly and cry. My heart is tight, I can hardly breathe.

A hand lands on my shoulder, stopping me.

"Anastasia, I don't like you. Not one bit, but Dell will never forgive me for letting you walk yourself into traffic. So please come with me to this party, let's talk there. You have no memories of what you did, and school is going to get a whole lot worse from here on. You need someone to talk too, someone who has your back. And the other thing too."

He's talking about my family's death. My brother was my protector in school. I miss Ryan. I miss him so fucking much. It hurts.

Griffin turns me around, and hugs me. The dams break against his chest, and sob.

I want them back, I just want them back.

I'm all alone now.

And that just settled in with a crushing wave of pain.