I stood underneath my shower letting the hot water fall down my body as my tears mixed with it. I often cried like this, in hiding then blaming the red eyes on the peppermint shampoo.
The interview I had today... I totally ruined it... or the interview ruined me, one of those statements was true I was just trying to figure out which one of them made me feel better.
What if this meant we were gonna lose the apartment?
What if this meant I would need to move back home?
No, absolutely not. That is a kind of low I do not want to sink down to.
And Mira? I can't believe I let her down after everything she has done for me. It just feels like all of my luck has run out and no matter what I do I can't catch a break.
This job would have been perfect, right up my alley. A chance in the jewelry design world but according to them I lack vision... everything I want to say has already been said.
I can already hear my father..."I told you to study something useful that would bring bread to your table... leave behind the sketchbooks and get your head out of the fantasy land... get a grip..." But then again I was already used to it.
But I also refuse to be like my mother. She gave up on her dreams and despite what she says now I know she regrets it.
I know I am destined to make it in design, but first I need to figure out how to pay rent this month.
"Are you alive in there? I brought food." Mira says as she knocks on the bathroom door.
"I'll be right out," I say as I close the water and grab my towel to fry off my body before putting on my bathrobe. Before leaving the bathroom I splashed my eyes with some cold water to help hide the crying and walk out.
"Hey, you," Mira says as she puts the plates on the table. "How did the interview go?" She asks as I grab the spoons from the drawer and place them next to the plates before sitting down.
"I didn't get it. I'm so sorry Mira." I say as she sits down.
"Well fuck them, it's their loss," Mira says as she passes me the bread she made yesterday. "We seriously got some bad mojo."
"Why?" I ask.
"Uhh, I ran into our landlord. He wants the rent in a week and I dont have it all. I tried to explain to him our situation and that we paid the utility bills yet the old bastard doesn't care." He was an old bastard alright, but this apartment was the only thing we were able to afford at the time and now we can't even do that.
"I'm sorry, it's all my fault," I say as I put my spoon down and lean back on the chair in despair.
"Hey, I don't want to hear none of that. Getting a job in this city gets harder by the day, that is not on you. We will figure something out." Mira says offering a kind smile. "Now eat up, we have a party to get to." Uhh the Halloween party. With everything that has happened today, I was in no mood for a party.
"Mira I don't wanna go. I just want to put on my fluffy pajamas and watch some Matthew McConaughey in his prime era." Nothing cures my heart better than How to lose a guy in ten days.
"Absolutely not, you are coming with me. You need to socialize and have some live distraction." She insists and no one can say no to Mira when she puts her mind on something.
"I dont have a costume." I remind her to which she stands up and walks over to her bag pulling out a pair of sunglasses and some kind of a black case.
"I dont get it," I say as I look at her confused.
"They sent it to the clinic yesterday." She says as she opens the case and unfolds a White cane for blind people.
"You want me to be a blind person?" I ask.
"Love, I'm going in my old scrubs... At least your outfit is new and clean." Mira hands me the cane and puts the sunglasses on the table next to my hand.
“I’ll do it," I finally mutter, my voice barely above a whisper. "But only because you’re making me." I look up at her, half-heartedly smiling.
"That's the spirit!" she exclaims, practically jumping up from her seat. "Now, eat, and then we can get you ready. You’ll be a total knockout."
I stare at the cane, the sunglasses, and Mira. She always had a way of taking the worst situations and turning them into something, well, manageable. Even if it meant looking ridiculous.
...
"Love, are you ready? We need to go." Mira yells as I put on my ankle boots. My outfit was just my regular self. Jeans, green shirt, brown jacket. The sunglasses and the cane made it a costume.
When I step back into the living room, Mira gives me an exaggerated once-over, grinning from ear to ear. "Love... There she is!" she says, tossing me a pair of earrings from her dresser. "You’re perfect. We’re gonna own this party."
I give her a small, tired smile as I put the small earrings on. They were tiny deep green emerald earrings we once found at a yard sale and we both shared them ever since. "You’re right. Let’s just get it over with."
Mira’s already grabbing her jacket, her face a mask of determination and excitement. “You know what? I have a good feeling about this night. Something tells me it's going to get better from here."
And for the first time today, I almost believe her. Almost.
Bridget smiled wider now, clearly enjoying the reveal. “Oh good, he still talks about me. How sweet.”Grace took a sharp step forward. “You don’t belong here, Bridget. You never did.”Bridget’s gaze didn’t flinch. “Funny. That’s not what your husband used to say.”Christian’s voice cut through the tension like a blade. “That’s enough.”"Grace is right," I say. "You have no business here." Showing her face here after all this time, after all the harm she did to Sebastian really showed she had no shame."You dont get a say in this." She directs herself at me. "Who are you to tell me what to do." Grace stepped closer again, now standing fully at my side. “She's is a Callahan, a part of our family something you will never be. So unless you want security to escort you out, I suggest you remember your place, Bridget.”“I am in my place,” Bridget said, her voice suddenly cooler, more calculating. “You all just forgot that this empire wasn’t built by Callahans alone. My father was one of the o
A white sheet of paper and an artist's pen were somehow all I needed to feel free in the world. A dream I once had of making something beautiful that others would want, admire, and desire, was finally happening. Even if Christian may think this is a punishment for me, it was the opposite. I was designing jewelry again, I was telling a story, and this time, the story was mine. Each line I drew on the paper shimmered in my mind like gold catching sunlight. I sketched the delicate curve of a pendant, the kind that rests right over the heart, something soft, but powerful. The design was bold and unapologetic. Perhaps because I was starting to feel like there wasn't much I needed to apologize for. Maybe it is the Mira part in me, the one that tells me that my lie wasn't all that bad, that my lie in fact did a lot of good to a person who was at one point lost.I looked back down at the pendant. It had wings now, faint outlines spreading from the heart of the design. I didn’t remember adding
"Are you nervous?" Bash asked me as he sat down next to me. "I'm excited," I say. It was the truth, I couldn't be more excited to take these damn bandages off my eyes and finally be free. Well, as free as Christian allows it. "How are you feeling, the surgery is tomorrow?" I ask.I could feel him shrug beside me, but the sound of his fingers tapping restlessly on his knee told me more than his words ever could."I'm good," he said finally, eyes fixed straight ahead. "I mean, it's weird, right? We've talked about this for so long, and now it's actually happening.""Yeah," I murmured, tilting my head toward him, even though I couldn’t see him yet. "It feels like we’ve been dreaming about this forever. And now it's real.""This condition made me lose so much of my future, my position, the woman who I at the time thought was the love of my life... it took a big piece of my soul, yet now I can't stop thinking about all the things I got. It gave me a new perspective of life and myself... it
He didn’t respond. Then, footsteps. Slow, deliberate. He moved closer, and my breath hitched in my throat even though I tried not to let it show. I turned my face slightly toward where I thought he was standing, listening for the soft rustle of his suit, the shift in the air. I didn't need my eyes to feel the gravity of him near me. "You wore a mask, every single day. Lied, to our faces... and you say it was for our own good. You are no better than the bastard I had for a father." His voice was closer now, a whisper laced with venom. "But I am not him." "Perhaps you are even worse. He at least didn't pretend to love us, at least not in the end." Christian says, anger blooming inside of him. "I love you, Christian. More than I ever thought was possible." I say trying to reach him but he pushes back at me, my back against the wall. "Shut up, you lie so well I might believe you for a second." “If I wanted to keep lying, I wouldn’t have told you the truth, I wouldn't still be here
Four weeks later...The last night in the dark...I am on the edge.I can't take this darkness anymore. I keep telling myself it's soon going to be over, that at least I will be able to act freely, even walk into the world alone free of pretenses. I want my parents to see that the lie is over, and I want Bash to get over everything soon, even if that means that whatever this is I have with Christian comes to an end.We have been living in this penthouse for three weeks now, and every second for me has been hell. His indifference at times is worse than his hate, at least hating me meant he still had me somewhere in his soul, in silence alongside this darkness that was eating at me.If it weren't for Mira I would be completely alone, she is the only good thing here. She told me to take off the bandages while Christian was at work but I just couldn't. He was far too unpredictable, popping in and out at different times as if trying to surprise me by doing something wrong and I didn't feel
Hearing the voices of people I love around me made me feel peace, so much so that I never wanted them to leave. In front of them, Christian was the man, the husband I always thought he would be. He was loving, kind, and caring. I never wanted it to end.But all that is good has its end, so did this.My friends were about to leave, at least Grace and Bash would be around. At least not until Christian makes us move again.Tamara and Bash were aside, talking. It is nice to hear that the friendship between them is blooming, hopefully into something bigger and better. Grace pulled Christian away to the office for a moment leaving me alone with Mira."Love, call me crazy but something here doesn't feel right. Are you sure you are as happy as you say you are?" I knew she would sense something, and despite promising Christian I would say anything I needed to let go with someone, and who better than Mira? I need someone on my side, someone to stand in my corner... make me feel less alone."Mira