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Blaze Within 50
I woke up and rubbed my tired, swollen eyes. For the first time in a while, I found myself waking up and hating my life. My heart ached painfully as I dragged myself from bed. I tried to give myself a pep talk as I showered and dressed. For all I knew, this woman could have just been a one-night stand to Alaric. She could mean nothing. He may never see her again. Despite what he decided to do, the hook-up had made one thing obviously clear to me: I loved Alaric. I had laid in bed sobbing over him all night long. Seeing him with someone else had awoken a jealousy within me I didn’t even know existed. I couldn’t squelch it, just as I couldn’t heal my broken heart. I had taken Alaric for granted all this time. I just assumed he would wait, apparently forever. I had been selfish and stupid to think that. Of course he wasn’t just going to sit and wait his entire life for me. I had waited too long, making excuse after excuse, and now I was at risk of losing him. I was going to talk to him
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I went to work at Kiki's over the weekend, and to my horror Ace came in both days. He must have figured out I was working weekends, as the other waitresses commented that he hadn't been in all week. I refused to wait on his table, and besides his constant glare, I had no contact with him. I came home Sunday night to find a note from Alaric informing me he was covering another fireman's shift and would be gone overnight. It wasn't unusual for him to work overnight, but I always hated it. The condo was always too quiet and lonely. Tonight though was an exception. Brock was still visiting, and he seemed eager to unload his adventures with someone. After a long dinner of listening to his recent dart competition, I headed up to bed. --- I slowly opened my eyes, unsure why I was awoken. I rolled over, trying to go back to sleep when I heard the thumping. It sounded like something banging against the condo. I slowly sat up in bed, glancing around my dark bedroom when the doorbell chimed re
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I laid in bed that night rehashing all of my regrets with Alaric. Was it really too much to ask to be able to go back in time and have a redo? I would have kissed him on the stairs that fateful day when I confessed all my secrets to him and he declared his love for me. How did he feel about me now? Did he still feel the same way? I tossed and turned in bed, trying to find sleep but it eluded me. I finally wandered downstairs to get a midnight snack. I searched around the kitchen, ready to eat my feelings, when Brock came stumbling into the kitchen. I turned toward him as he fell into one of the kitchen chairs and laughed at his own clumsiness. It was clear by his lack of balance and laughter he had been drinking. He had come home just as I was headed to bed and Ally was leaving for the evening. I hadn't seen Alaric since Ally had ushered him upstairs. "Stephie!" Brock yelled as he threw his hands up in the air as if excited. "Steph," I corrected him in annoyance. "Steph, Stephie,
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I ended up catching the bus and going over to my friend Catherine's house. She wasn't home, but she had given me a key a long ago when I had been with Ace. She had wanted me to have a safe place to go whenever needed. I stayed at her house, internally brewing over Alaric until she came home and I unloaded the entire story upon her. She looked at me with a thoughtful expression as she wound her long blonde hair around her fingers. "You know, they have that saying distance makes the heart grow fonder." I blew out a breath as I leaned back into the couch in her living room. After my morning and afternoon of thinking, I had come to the same conclusion. I needed to move out. I needed to put some distance between Alaric and I. We were too close, too always there. "I kind of thought the same thing" I confessed. "Girl!" she squealed as she slapped my thigh. "You can stay here!" I cocked an eyebrow at her. "You and Fred are getting married next month. The last thing I want is to live with
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Alaric and I rode in the back of Frank and Alice's minivan to the screaming sound of Joni and Kimberly in their car seats. They were in the middle row, and we sat on opposite side of the bench seat behind them. I hadn't spoken to Alaric since I eavesdropping’s conversation with Ally. We arrived at the park as we unloaded from the car. Alaric stretched as though his muscles were cramped. My eyes involuntarily scanned over him, unable to be contained. He wore skinny jeans and a light blue button up shirt with very thin, blue lines going both vertical and horizontal. Atop his head was a black fedora. His brown, wavy hair fell in large volume from beneath the hat. His shirt was half unbuttoned and the sleeves rolled up, showing off his muscular and tattooed chest and forearms. He turned toward me and I quickly averted my gaze. In my jean shorts and t-shirt, I felt underdressed to him in his handsome glory. Why did my heart still have to flutter and my insides turn to mush at the sight of
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I didn't know what to say to Alaric after his confrontation. I replayed his words over and over again in my head. I knew they were truth. Every single word of them. I was a total hypocrite. I had stayed with Ace, while using the excuse of being a prostitute to be with Alaric. I had wrongly thought the entire time that Alaric had been using me, that I was nothing more than a sex toy to him. But I hadn't been. I had meant something to him, something much deeper than I had ever realized. As I watched him throughout the day with Ally, smiling and giving her his attention, I realized with heartbreaking realization I had been the one who had used him. He had shown me kindness and compassion. I was too fucked up to return it. Maybe I never deserved him, maybe I never would, but despite that he loved me. He loved me with my flaws and my past and my disgraceful occupation. He had loved me at my absolute lowest. He had never waived by my side, despite what the world or his friends or even his g
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Alaric didn't let go of my hand the rest of the evening and I had no complaints. My hand wrapped in his felt so right. We climbed into Frank and Alice's minivan and took our seat on the back bench. We sat quietly next to each other. Alaric turned my palm up and began tracing the lines as though it was the most fascinating maze he was determined to solve. As we sat in traffic, the girls soon began snoring, exhausted from the long day. Frank turned on a local radio station as he and Alice spoke up front. I was watching everyone in the van when Alaric's fingers grazed over my thigh. I turned toward him as he stared at me with hungry eyes. My heart pounded as my insides exploded in excitement. His fingertips put more pressure on my thigh as they skidded up and down. Alaric leaned down, pressing his lips to mine once more. As we kissed, his hand on my thigh slid up to my waist. His fingers pushed the hem of my shirt up as his hand slid beneath, rubbing over my stomach. I moaned into his
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Ace showed up once again during my shift, only this time he came toward the end. I clocked out and headed toward the door. In the corner of my eye, I saw Ace stand up. My pace increased as I hurried toward the door. Alaric walked in and was immediately greeted by Jessica. He looked deliciously handsome dressed in his skinny jeans, white undershirt, and cream-colored button up shirt left open. His brown, wavy hair fell out from beneath the deep brown fedora atop his head. He smiled politely at Jessica as I could see her rambling away to him, but as his green eyes caught sight of me, his face lit up. I returned his smile as I approached as butterflies erupted in my belly. I couldn't wait to be in his arms again, and in his bed. Jessica turned and headed toward the register. As she passed me, she whispered "this is so awkward." My eyebrows crushed down in confusion over what she was referring to. I turned to ask her what she meant, but my eyes told me the answer. Ace strolled behind m
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Blaze Within Epilogue
One year later ... I drew in a long, slow breath to calm my nervous excitement as I lit the candle atop the chocolate cupcake I had secretly bought. I had made arrangements for it to be delivered while we were out sightseeing. Never in my wildest dreams had I ever imagined I would be in Hawaii, let alone be enjoying my honeymoon there. Alaric and I had said our vows on the beach just days ago, surrounded by our friends. Now, we were alone, just him and I to start our new life as husband and wife. He was my husband. Just the thought sent butterflies into flight in my stomach. We were married. He was mine forever. I closed my eyes as his vows whispered into my ears in his delicious British accent. He had stared at me with those gorgeous green eyes and declared his never-ending love for me. Somehow, I had managed to stay standing while I melted inside. I had opted out of a big wedding dress. Instead, I wore a knee-length white dress. It was sleeveless and cinched at the waist. It pu
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Another month passed by as I forged forward with a life I had once only dreamt about with Alaric. I came home from working at the hospital on a random weekday and opened the condo door. I stepped inside and immediately noticed how eerily quiet the condo was. "Alaric?" I called out as I took a step forward. He was supposed to be off today. My stomach dropped as I wondered if he had been called in. "Alaric?" I took another step forward when something crunched beneath my foot. I lowered my eyes to the floor and looked quizzically at the rose beneath my shoe. I slowly bent down and picked it up. I inspected the red rose in my hand, wondering what on earth it was doing there, as my eyes gazed across the floor of the condo. My breath caught as my heart beat rapidly as I stared at the trail of red roses laid out before me. I trembled with an excited anticipation as I began to follow the trail, picking them up as I walked. I followed their path to the back patio door. I slid the door open
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I slowly woke up the next morning, safe and loved in Alaric's strong arms. The sunlight streamed from the balcony doors as I snuggled closer to him. He laid on his back, snoring softly was he slept. His hair was splayed all around him on the pillow. I studied his sharp jawline and perfect, red lips. My eyes slowly trailed to his tattoos on his arms and chest. How had I been so lucky to have him in my life? What I had done so right to deserve him? After the hell of my youth and the struggles I went through before him, he was something I never imagined having. He was more than I ever thought I deserved. And yet here I was, cuddled in his arms in our bed enraptured by him and his love. He stirred and groggily opened his eyes to look at me. He smiled lightly as his green eyes found me. It was me he looked for as soon as he woke up, and it was me who made him smile. The realization warmed my soul. He rolled toward me, his lips quickly finding mine. His hand raised and cupped my face as h
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I smiled and nodded my head. He raised his hands and gently wiped my tears away with his thumbs. He kissed my nose before taking a step back and pulling his shirt off. I stared at his bare chest. I slid my robe off and stepped into the hot water. I sat down as I watched Alaric undress. He stepped into the bath and sat down behind me. He pulled me back against him. I leaned into his chest, relaxing in the hot water and his secure embrace. We laid together, our bare bodies touching, as we relaxed but the sexual undercurrent between us made my heart pound. Alaric's fingertips traced up and down my bare arms beneath the hot water. He leaned his head forward and gently kissed my neck. I turned my head to the side, giving him better access as his fingers grazed higher up my arms and closer to my breasts. My breath caught as nerves pumped through my veins. I didn't want to be afraid of him, I didn't want to mess this up. My stomach meanwhile knotted into a tight knot of sexual energy. I bega
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Alaric took a week off work to be home with me. He planned to take another, but I assured him I would be fine. He waited on me hand and foot. He acted as though I was a fragile, porcelain doll and handled me with excessive gentleness and care. His antics brought back my smile and laughter, and slowly began to erase the nightmares and flashbacks. He danced around with his goofy moves, and every time my mind seemed to start to drift to those dark days, he would tell one of his cheesy jokes to bring me back. He was my hero from my kidnapping, and my hero now. He saved me both physically and mentally and I could never repay him for what he had done for me. Despite his hovering care of me, he would only kiss me quickly on the lips. He would kiss my forehead, my hand, or even my cheeks for much longer, but never my lips. He also never made love to me or even tried. Of course, I wouldn't want to either with how I looked. The bruises seemed to darken each day, and I walked around with a hunc
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Drake's body pressed down atop me, his weight pinning me down. He began biting at my neck between his slobbery kisses. "You're mine, Stephanie," he asserted in his monotone voice. "No!" I screamed as I began thrashing beneath him. His hands caught mine, trying to control them. His grip was surprisingly gentle, but as I swung at him, his hands wouldn't let go "You'll always be mine, Stephanie," he threatened as he unzipped my pants and prepared to take me against my will. "Stop!" I screamed, tears beginning to stream from my eyes. "Please stop!" My voice broke as I began sobbing. I yanked my hands back toward myself, breaking free from his grasp. As he lifted off me to undue his pants, I put my hands on his chest and tried to push him away. "Steph," he protested in a British accent. He tried to grab my hands but I ripped them away before he could try to restrain me again. I drew my right hand back and prepared to swing at him with an open hand. "Steph." His voice again had a Br
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I was transported by ambulance to the emergency room. Alaric never left my side. He held my hand, his worried and upset green eyes staying on me the entire time. He was dressed in his black skinny jeans and a brownish-red button up shirt with gray squares and white lines. It was half unbuttoned, as usual for him. It was tucked partially in the front, exposing his brown belt. His brown hair fell wavy around his face beneath the tan fedora atop his head. The doctor and nurses checked me over and tended to my injuries. A couple police officers arrived, and Alaric left the room to speak with them a moment. The way they talked and greeted each other, it appeared they all knew each other. Alaric came back into the room moments later with them trailing behind him. He took my hand into his, giving it a squeeze as the officers walked over to me. "They just need you to tell them what happened" Alaric said gently in his British accent. "Do you feel up to that?" he asked as he gently brushed so
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I sat silent as the miles flew by out my window. I watched the sun begin to set as I wondered if I would ever see Alaric again. Would I ever see his green eyes dance over me again? Would I ever feel his touch or kiss his lips? Ace remained as quiet as me. He changed the radio station occasionally, his eyebrows furrowing down until he found something good. He threw a jacket over my handcuffed wrist as we went through a drive-thru for food and told me to keep my head down to hide my injuries. We stopped at a hotel as the sun disappeared. He made me wait in the car as he checked in. I searched around the parking lot but there was no one else around to signal for help. He took the handcuffs off me and walked me in, gun in his pocket. Ace may have hurt me, but he didn't scare me the same way Drake did. Drake had no regard for my life. At least Ace had some resemblance of feelings for me, even if they were warped and misguided. I was able to take a shower, and Ace gave me one of his t-sh
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I had nothing to do but wait. I stood for a while, but eventually got tired and sat down on the bed. The minutes ticked by, but I had no idea how many. There was no freaking clock in this dungeon. There was just me and my thoughts which were solely focused on Alaric. My entire being ached for him. Being back here, at Heaven's Reign Cult, brought back every horrible memory and beating. My body began to tremble and shake with the memories. I tried to hold them back, I tried to remain strong, but it was all too much. One moment I was walking down the street planning my future with Alaric, and the next I'm being dragged back forcibly to the life I never wanted to revisit. All I wanted was to go home. All I wanted was Alaric. The door opened and I shot to my feet. Drake walked in slowly and calmly. He closed the door behind him but didn't lock it. Apparently the lock was only used to keep people trapped in his sick room when he wasn't present. "Stephanie," he drew out slowly as he steppe
