Suffering

Luke

As much as I knew what I had to do, I couldn’t find the words. Not even now, when Father was on his deathbed.

Instead, I kicked off my shoes and laid on the bed next to him, like I used to when I was first adopted. I used to have nightmares that someone was going to pull the rug out from under me and send me back to the orphanage. Father used to bring me into his bed after I had another nightmare and hold me until I fell asleep. Even though I wasn’t conscious for half of it, the memories came back full force, and this time, I couldn’t contain myself.

Father and I sat there until his breathing became steady and he was the one comforted by me instead of the other way around.

***

I made sure that Father was fast asleep before I went out into the hallway. Mother sat in the chair across the hall, staring at her hands in her lap.

“Where is the doctor?” I asked.

She glanced up at me as if she hadn’t heard me come out. “I made him go eat something. He’s been with your father all day.”

“H