MattShe was more than I ever imagined possible, and making love to her had to be one of the biggest highs of my life, but laying there afterward let worry set in. Was I too rough? Too aggressive? Would she think I was a cock for pushing her around and treating her like an object?Had I treated her like an object? The thought caused my stomach to turn.I turned to glance at the clock after laying there for what felt like forever. 3 a.m.The sexy curves of her body just under the sheet called to me as she lay on her side, her breathing deep and peaceful. So much of me wanted to snuggle into the back of her and tell her that I was in love with her, but it was selfish. She wanted something in life that I doubted I could give her.I hadn't done much with myself and at twenty-eight I was without a job, a defined future or a paycheck. I was still sucking off my father even though I'd made the decision after college to cut ties with his bankroll.My pulse spiked as indecision ran through me
Matt"Then stop being stupid. Society says what you should do and you project that shit onto me and Dad as if we're judging you. There's only one person scrutinizing your shit and saying that you're coming up empty.""Myself." I hung my head in shame. Damon was spot on. He always was."Exactly. What happened with Erica?""I slept with her.""And? Was it everything you wanted it to be?""Yeah. It just tied me tighter to her, but I'm in the middle of one of those fight or flight moments. I usually tuck tail and run.""That doesn't mean you're not a man, Matt, or that you're not strong and capable of making the right choice. It means that you've once again allowed yourself to fall into the trap of 'not good enough,' but you're the sorry mother fucker who's setting the standard, no one else. I'm pretty sure Erica would rather have you snuggled up in the bed with her than walking around her house looking for an exit. She's not thinking about your 401K or your net worth, or how many compani
EricaSunlight filtered into the room and pulled me from a restful sleep. I turned to reach for Matt and found him gone and his side of the bed cold. He'd been gone for a while.Panic stabbed my insides as I jolted up."Matt?" I checked the clock and groaned. Getting up before six on a Sunday morning was a travesty I tried to avoid. It was one of the only days I let myself sleep in.After pulling a robe over my shoulders, I walked down the hallway and tied the long silky belt to hold it together, noting that he was out on the patio or gone. I checked the patio and walked the short distance to the kitchen to find him gone. My heart dropped."He ran," I whispered and crossed my arms over my chest.I had two choices. I could fall apart and deem myself unworthy of his attention, or I could swallow my emotions and pretend like a great night of sex was all I was after anyway.I chose the latter of the two, though the tears in my eyes would call me a liar. A soft sigh left me as I walked bac
Erica"Yep. I'll call you later." I hung up the phone and tossed it back on the bed. Matt's portfolio sat on the floor beside the suitcase, and I couldn't help but pick it up and carry it into the living room. I wanted to take my time and really take in all that he'd put together. Only the smaller pieces would have fit in the hard plastic contraption he had them in, but anything done by him interested me.I dropped down to the floor in the living room and unzipped the container, being careful as I pulled out a good handful of paintings and transferred them to the coffee table. I moved through them slowly, each picture tugging at a different part of my heart. To say I was fearful over having him paint me would have been an understatement.The painting of Damon that lay before me on the table stole my breath. I'd seen it before, but knowing the story behind it and actually having the time to study it filled me with the horror of what Damon must have felt that day. His whole world came t
Matt"So this yoga thing... it's not the one where I have to wear skin tight clothes and bend in half a million times, right?" I glanced over at Erica as we walked toward the harbor. The sound of people laughing and having a good time filled the air and helped to loosen some of the tension building in my chest.Keep it light and playful. Just be yourself. She laughed and glanced over at me. "You can wear anything you want to wear. It's hot yoga, which means it's super humid in there, but just drink tons of water and try hard not to piss yourself.""Very funny." I turned my attention back to the water ahead, though pulling my eyes away from the beautiful woman beside me was difficult. Her long blue dress was feminine and made her look like a princess. I was starting to enjoy all the various parts of her personality, though the aggressive, needy girl in bed last night was certainly my favorite."What kind of fish are we looking for today? You like salmon or tuna?""Both are great. Let'
MattShe laughed. "Right, cause that's me.""It's the ‘you’ I see." I licked at my lips and pulled one of my favorite sketching pencils from the pack. "We can take breaks for sure. I just need a couple of hours to get the raw sketch down.""And do you want me in the sports bra or nude?""You can actually wear what you have on for now because I'll be working on your face first." I grumbled softly to myself. "I should take my man card for not saying nude."She laughed again and the sound of it caused my heart to flutter. "All right. Take your pictures before you forget. I'll stay in the dress and change when you want me to.""Awesome." I set the pencil and pad down and got up. "Pose for me and let me put you in the perfect position.""Kinky." She put her back to me and turned a little, giving me a smoldering look. "This good?""Fucking hot for sure." I moved up behind her and repositioned her shoulders a little. "You look like a goddess.""You're just being sweet.""Nope. Just telling i
Erica"Matt, this is my best friend Lanie. Lanie, this is Matt." I moved back as Matt and Lanie shook hands."I would say that Erica's told me so much about you, but she's rather private about everything." Lanie glanced over at me and wagged her eyebrows. "He's cute.""He's right here." I shook my head and moved to open the door to the yoga facility. "You brought your water, right?"Matt nodded. "Yep. I brought yours too. You left it sitting in the kitchen.""Oh yeah. Jeez." I walked in and moved to the back of the room as Matt moved up on my left and Lanie took her place on my right. The afternoon had been relaxing and yet incredibly titillating thanks to Matt getting up every few minutes to put his hands on me while I stood half naked in my living room, posing for him. I had to quickly get over the fear that he would find some part of me less than attractive. It was easy to do seeing that he spoke affirmation continuously."You ready for this?" Lanie leaned out and gave Matt a silly
Erica"You sore already?" I moved up behind Matt as he stood at the stove, working on dinner later that night."Yeah. Damn, that was a serious workout, Erica. How often do you girls do that?"I reached up and pressed my fingers into his shoulders, massaging him as he groaned in delight."Every Sunday night. I love it. I feel like I got a detox and a workout.""No wonder you look so damn good. That was far more intense than I thought it would be." He reached up and gripped my hands but kept his back to me. "I'm gonna pass out if you keep that up.""Then I can do it later for you.""Sounds good. Go take a load off. Dinner is almost done." He released me and went back to cooking as I walked into the living room. I hadn't checked my e-mails for the last few days, which wasn't me at all. It was funny how quickly my desire to be needed by the office dissipated when I had something else to focus on.I sat down at the small desk on the far end of my living room and pulled up my laptop, workin