Chapter 1.3

Feeling the sexy vibe of the music and hearing the classy cheers around the catwalk helped Vee to project the appropriate facial expression which would match her lingerie piece as she strutted towards the elevated aisle. She looked ahead at an imaginary someone with inviting stares and a slightly parted mouth while striking a pose before twirling and walking back to the curtains. Upon reaching the backstage, she was shocked by the complete chaos - not the usual she sees during fashion shows. Instead of being led towards a spot where her outfit was meant to be redesigned, she was quickly ushered by one of the directors to her dressing room where Guy and Lenka were both slumped on the couch, visibly shaken and with swollen eyes. The unsightly atmosphere got her all tense.

"What's going on?" She asked, while trying to calm her growing anxiety as she sat in between the two, while the rest of the fashion show team was strictly asked by Guy's assistant to carry on with the show. Vee could see everyone panicking and trying to find out what was wrong - the assistants were occupied with providing instructions to the other groups, while the show directors and stylists had to usher the models to the back stage, forced to step out of the curtains, like everything back to regular business.

Guy was now gripping Vee's hands, while Lenka was starting to fan herself with her hand. They were visibly trying to look collected, and Vee couldn’t help but feel weird.

"Vee, honey," Lenka decided to start talking. "We just received devastating news..." With this, Vee's heart skipped a beat. For some reason, she suddenly felt like her world was about to crash and fall into pieces. She tried hard to shove a nasty thought far behind her subconscious and to stop herself from shaking, but her mind failed to function. "Vee - there was a huge car accident that happened back home -"

As though Lenka's statement was the cue, Vee found herself all tensed as images of all the people she cared for flashed in her head. She intentionally avoided thinking of the two most important ones, trying to convince herself that Lenka surely wasn’t pertaining to them. A part of her willed her senses to shut down, refusing to hear the rest of Lenka's story, but a greater part of her somehow anticipated her friend's next words.

"...I'm so sorry, honey... Both of them..." Lenka could no longer contain herself and broke into hysterical tears. She nudged Guy, who was holding back his tears but was wringing Vee's hands so strongly that they were in danger of getting crushed.

"Vee..." there was a tinge of fear and shock in Guy's voice. "I meant to tell you this before you opened the show earlier… I'm sorry I didn't have the courage..." He looked at Vee straight in the eyes and continued, "your Dad… and Viktor… They got involved in a car crash... and they were pronounced dead on the spot."

That was it.

Vee, who was still holding onto a thin ray of hope that her friends were not going to say the words, felt tears involuntarily run down her cheeks. She could feel Lenka's shaking fingers wiping her tears with a tissue paper, sobbing yet again, while giving her a tight hug. The noise around her seemed to have died down, as though everything was suddenly muted, and all she could hear was the slow beat of her heart and the rush of her blood flowing as though disappearing down an invisible drain.

They were pronounced dead on the spot…

The words kept reverberating in her head, forcing in the images of her father and her brother sprawled on the ground, bleeding and not breathing.

No, she couldn’t believe it. Viktor was just asking for her opinion on which tie to wear - just this morning!

And her father… Her Dad just sent his twenty-sixth message last night to say goodnight.

They couldn’t have possibly found time to involve themselves in a car crash, right? Her brain was indignant.

"I'm so sorry, Vee..." she could hear Lenka and Guy whispering into her ears, hoping to get her recovered from shock. "Please... be strong... You have us..."

The floor director came in to check on them and worriedly announced that the last two models were about to step on the runway. Based on the programme, Vee was supposed to showcase her second piece and would come out with Guy to close the show. She was quick to read the atmosphere that no one was ready to close the show - Guy looked disheveled and while Vee was drenched in tears, her calmness was eerie, as though her entire being had just shut down. She announced her assessment that the show would be closed without Guy coming out, and that the PR officers could just come up with a brilliant excuse later on when they get asked by the media during the press conference as to what caused the disruption of the programme.

Hearing the term “media” somehow helped Vee snap back to her senses and she looked at Guy with scarily determined eyes.

"Don't miss the closing, Guy." She heard herself say, although she felt like it was someone else who spoke in her stead. Her voice was a little hoarse that she barely recognized it, but she felt like this would have been the right thing to do. 

A part of her seemed to have awakened and reminded her that this was not the time to stay shocked and act helpless. Ever since she was little, her father had always instilled in her mind that death was inevitable. It had become a family mantra. Vee observed that it had somehow helped her father move on from the death of his wife, teaching his daughter not to dwell on the idea of her being the cause of her mother’s passing. He had always talked about death as though it were simply a bitter game, where only the weak of heart would lose.

Vee couldn’t shake the involuntary in her head. She had always heard her father say that if their family ever met another sad fate, "you must pick yourself up. Think rationally. And remember everything that I taught you..." Even with knowing that her heart couldn’t take the news she just heard, a stronger force at the back of her mind was making her suppress her emotions to start thinking of something else.

Guy and Lenka, including the floor director, looked at Vee like she just sprouted another head. They couldn’t fathom which part of the universe she seemed to have pulled emotional and mental strengths from. They immediately objected when she voiced her idea of going back on stage to close the show with Guy, but seeing her composed demeanor and unwavering aura, they realized that she had forced herself to recover. While they could not understand how Vee managed to turn her emotions off, they dared not oppose her for fear of seeing her break down and appear worse than how she was just a few minutes ago. 

More grief could come, but not while we are in the middle of a show. Vee told herself. She stood up, forced Lenka to do the same and to freshen her up.

"Like what Dad always said," she continued, "the show must go on."