Chapter 4: Small Beginnings

Morning arrived with a quiet determination that filled my room. Today was the day I’d officially take the first step toward reclaiming my purpose. My notebook lay open on the desk, its pages filled with hastily scribbled ideas and plans.

I carefully set up my phone on a makeshift tripod—three stacked books topped with a small vase to keep it steady. The lighting wasn’t perfect, and I didn’t have any fancy equipment, but I reminded myself that everyone starts somewhere.

The kitchen, my chosen filming spot, was bathed in soft morning light. I arranged the ingredients for my first video—a step-by-step guide to making fluffy pancakes. It felt oddly nostalgic, as though I were back in my café prepping for the day’s specials.

“Okay, Lila, deep breath,” I muttered, pressing record on my phone.

I stumbled a little at first, my words coming out awkward and stilted. But as I mixed the batter and explained each step, I started to feel a familiar rhythm. Cooking had always been my sanctuary, a place where I could lose myself in the process.

By the time I flipped the last pancake onto the plate, I was smiling.

---

Later, as I edited the video on my laptop, I noticed every flaw—the lighting was uneven, my voice wavered in a few places, and the sound of the spatula scraping the pan was louder than I’d realized. But despite its imperfections, I felt proud.

With a deep breath, I uploaded the video to YouTube, giving it a simple title: "How to Make the Fluffiest Pancakes Ever." I wasn’t expecting immediate success, but it felt good to put something out into the world again.

---

The rest of the day passed quickly. I received a call from Ivy in the afternoon, her voice bubbling with excitement.

“Lila! I saw your video. It’s adorable. You’re a natural!”

“You think so?” I asked, doubting myself.

“Absolutely! You just need to keep posting consistently. And maybe invest in a mic—you know, so we don’t hear the pan screaming,” she teased.

I laughed, feeling a little more confident.

After our call, I spent the evening brainstorming ideas for my next video. Each idea felt like a tiny step toward rebuilding the life I wanted.

---

A few days later, as I was preparing for my second video, a knock at the door startled me. I wasn’t expecting anyone. Wiping my hands on a towel, I opened it to find Ethan standing there, holding a bag of groceries.

“Ethan? What are you doing here?”

“I heard from Jasmine that you’re starting something new,” he said with a sheepish grin. “Thought you might need a little help.”

He held up the bag. Inside were fresh fruits, a jar of honey, and a bottle of maple syrup.

“For your pancakes,” he said, shrugging.

“Ethan, this is so thoughtful,” I said, genuinely touched.

“Hey, I’ve always believed in you. Besides, you can’t make great pancakes without the perfect toppings,” and I hope you find the chance to forgive me for whatever I did, he added with a wink.

Oh, Ethan. I’d be lying if I said I had forgiven you, but I think it’s a gradual process. We can’t just throw away what we had. You know that feeling of betrayal doesn’t leave so easily, but I believe with time, I will let go of everything, especially with this new beginning.

---

That evening, as we sat in my tiny kitchen eating pancakes, I couldn’t help but feel grateful. Ethan had always been a steady presence in my life, someone who showed up when it mattered most. That’s why, when those incidents happened, I was so hurt. I think that was my actual first heartbreak. But it’s okay…

“Do you think it’ll work?” I asked him, voicing my doubts for the first time.

“Lila, I’ve seen you turn a simple café into a place people loved. If anyone can make this work, it’s you,” he said, his voice steady and reassuring. “I know it’s not advisable, but you can explore other niches and see the one people view the most. I think that would also work.”

His words stayed with me long after he left.

---

The next morning, I woke up to a notification on my phone. My video had gained a few likes and even a comment: "Looks delicious! Can’t wait to try this recipe."

I was so happy, it felt like my very first official video. I couldn’t believe it.

It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

As I prepared for the day, I thought about how life seemed to be shifting, piece by piece. Then, I completely forgot about Leo. I was so focused on my future. But for now, I think I need to reach out to him, let him know that I’m doing fine, and perhaps fix a date for the weekend. Maybe we can go for a drive, watch the sunset, and gaze at the stars.

With my phone in hand and a growing sense of purpose, I texted him. I finally replied to him, and I told him about my plan for the weekend. He was so happy for me.

He said, “I can't wait…”

This was only the beginning.

I spent the next few days immersed in planning and creating content, focusing entirely on my new venture. Every morning, I would wake up early, brainstorm new ideas, and record whatever came to mind. It felt good to be productive again, to put my energy into something I could control. Yet, despite how much I threw myself into this new chapter, a small part of me couldn’t help but think about Leo.

I hadn’t realized until now just how much of my life had been defined by him. Even after everything, even after all the trauma, I always wondered how I could feel so free when we were together.

The weekend finally arrived, and with it, my plans with Leo. I was nervous, but it was a good kind of nervous, a sense of anticipation that had been missing from my life for weeks. We went for a drive, and he opened the door for me. I found a lot of flowers, gifts, and snacks. I was so happy, and at the same time, I felt those same butterflies in my stomach. “Oh, Leo, you didn’t have to do this. This is so sweet of you.” I’d chosen a casual outfit—jeans and a simple sweater—nothing too flashy, just something comfortable, something that felt like me.

I stared at him, and I thought, Is he really mine? My heart skipped a beat, but I forced myself to take a deep breath and sat in his car.

“Hey,” I said softly, offering a small smile.

He looked at me again, his eyes lighting up with a warmth that made my chest tighten. Not again. Then he said, “You look beautiful.”

I nodded, trying not to let the compliment affect me too much. But I was so happy. “Ready for our drive?”

“Definitely.” He started the car, and we left for the drive. We saw lots of beautiful landmarks, nice-looking palm trees, and even a place filled with beautiful sunflowers. “Oh my God, these are so beautiful. Can we stop so I can take a picture?” He stopped, and he took some beautiful shots of me. We also took one together, after which we stopped at a plain field. He brought out a picnic kit. He had planned this, and I never knew. I thought it was just snacks and flowers, but this... oh my God, Leo, you never fail to amaze me. This is so sweet of you.

We had snacks while watching the sunset, and guess what? He also brought out a tent. “Lila, I want us to camp out. Let’s promise to always go camping every end of the month. I’d like to explore every place with you.” I was blushing, smiling, and holding my cheeks. He asked me to close my eyes, and when I opened them, he brought out a teddy bear. “Just in case I’m not with you on your new journey, whenever you see this teddy, think of it as me.”

I was so happy. We stargazed, and the date went really well. I forgot to tell you about the drive.

The drive was simple but soothing. The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon as we made our way to a secluded spot overlooking the city. It was very nice. On our way home, we parked, and for a while, we just sat there, watching as the sky changed colors. I felt the tension I hadn’t even known I was holding in my body start to ease away. Maybe it was the serenity of the moment, or maybe it was just being in his presence again, but for a fleeting second, I felt like I could breathe again.

“This feels nice,” I said, breaking the silence.

Leo turned to look at me, his eyes searching my face as if he were trying to read my thoughts. “I’m glad. I miss us.”

I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. The words I had rehearsed in my head seemed to vanish the moment he spoke. “I miss it too,” I admitted quietly.

He smiled, but there was something else in his eyes—something that told me he was being sincere. It wasn’t just the good memories that lingered; it was the unresolved ones too.

He professed his love.

“Lila,” he began, his voice low and steady, “Every moment with you, whether it’s filled with laughter or silence, feels like home to me. No matter where life takes us, as long as you’re by my side, I know I’ll always have everything I need. I love you, more than words can ever say, and I’ll keep showing you every day just how much you mean to me.”

His words hit me harder than I expected. Part of me wanted to get close to him, but another part of me—a small part—held back.

And for a brief moment, the world seemed to hold its breath. It wasn’t a promise that everything would go back to how he wanted, but it was a promise that we’d take it one step at a time.

“Thank you,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.

“For what?” he asked, turning to face me.

“For this,” I said, gesturing to the quiet evening, the stars above us, and the chance to move forward. “For showing up. For being here.”

He nodded, a quiet understanding passing between us. We didn’t need any more words. It was the beginning of something—whatever it was meant to be.

---

We stayed there in the quiet, the world around us fading into a soft hum. It felt as though time had stopped, allowing us this space to breathe and reflect. The night air was cool, and I pulled my sweater tighter around my shoulders. Leo noticed and, without a word, wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close. His warmth was comforting, like a shield against the uncertainty that always seemed to follow us.

“You know,” I whispered, my head resting on his shoulder, “Being here with you like this... it feels right. Like we’ve finally found our rhythm together.”

Leo’s fingers gently traced patterns on my arm, and I felt a calmness wash over me. “I’m glad you feel that way. I’ve always known we’d get to this point, Lila. I’m just happy we’re here now.”

I looked up at him, meeting his eyes in the dim light. His gaze was steady, full of the love and patience he’d shown me all along. There was no rushing this. No pushing. Just us, moving forward, step by step.

“I feel the same,” I replied, my voice soft but sure. “I’ve never been more certain of us. Even with everything that’s happened, I know this is where I’m meant to be.”

Leo smiled, the kind of smile that made my heart skip a beat. “I’ll keep proving that to you, every day. We’re in this together, Lila. Always.”

We sat there for a while longer, hand in hand, under the stars. It wasn’t about promises or grand gestures anymore; it was about the quiet moments we shared, the comfort of knowing that we were exactly where we were supposed to be. And in that moment, I knew we would continue to navigate the ups and downs, side by side. Because we had already been through so much, and yet, we were still here.