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Deeper pain
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
Betrothed To The Rogue King   Bigger than Ellen
"You know you can't keep talking to me like that right?" Ellen snapped, looking at me squarely. I shivered from all the emotions I felt, saying nothing. My breath was not regulated enough for me to explain what I meant, but I forced it. "I… I… I don't need you… To… To psychoanalyze me, Ellen… I need you to… To be my friend now… You are not my therapist." I stuttered out, and Ellen's eyes darkened. She stood up abruptly and started pacing and talking really fast. "Oh! I should be your friend right?" Ellen asked, laughing uproariously. "Of course! What was I even thinking? You need me to be your friend, and not your therapist! Definitely!" She stopped talking and shook her head sadly. "Everybody always knows what they want Ellen to be. 'Be a spoon, not a fork, Ellen. You do not stab, you scoop, Ellen.' 'You dance like a boy, Ellen!' 'When I asked you to soften up your features, and to dress like a woman, I did not ask you to look like a failed rockstar!' 'And now, I need you to be my
Betrothed To The Rogue King   The elevator
"You took everything too far, Clara." Martha said thoughtfully to me, and I looked away as I packed my bags. I had called Attus, and he was on his way to the academy to get me out for the remaining six days. "You cannot tell me what to do or how to be, Martha. Last I checked, you are my personal maid, and not the other way around." I said, as I zipped up my bag. Glenn looked up at me from the novel she was reading. "Whatever happened to you, I really hope you heal because this is horse shit!" Glenn spat angrily at me. I looked up at her, gave a wicked smile and arranged my shirt. I was leaving them, and there was nothing that anyone could do to stop me. Ellen opened the room door just then, and walked in with Mila. They had gone through a lot of get pizza and ice cream for themselves, Glenn and Martha. "I don't want to come with you though, Miss Clara. I will find my way back to the Castle on the last day." Martha declared, and I scoffed. "If you don't come with me, I'm getting a
Betrothed To The Rogue King   Broken glass
"I don't want to be in here with any of you. I want to be by myself; with my feelings. I don't want to be here." Martha repeated emphatically, and I bursted out laughing. Sophia looked very entertained by everything going on in the broken elevator, and looking over at her face, I felt a strong intuitive pull to smash her head into the elevator door and get myself out of that tiny space with the annoying bitches."What is wrong with you, Clara? What exactly happened to you that evening, to have you being so callous and stupid towards us? What did we actually do to deserve being spoken to and treated this way by you? Ellen even tried talking to you, but you hurt her so bad with your tongue lashing and then left her in the room, playing the victim. What the actual fuck is wrong with you, girl?" Mila asked, her voice raised so high that it completely lost its melody. I scoffed, "So you have the ability to sound like this? I thought you'd swallowed a piano as child, making you sing your
Betrothed To The Rogue King   Shallow
Sophia looked away from all of us, and closed her eyes sadly. She looked like she was about to pass a kidney stone. The look in her beautiful eyes was that of pure pain, but she shielded it immediately and scoffed instead. "I was just unlucky enough to be going to the rooftop at the same time as you guys. When Miss Angie addressed us earlier, she did not mention me, because I was not supposed to be here." Sophia dismisses. "Oh really? Why then are there six chairs in here and why are there supplies and food with your name on it?" I asked, and Sophia shrugged. "Well, I didn't even know about that. I guess it is what it is then?" Sophia said."Look, Guys. The best way to get out of here and out of each other's lives for good, is to squash this shit. Even if we will never be friends anymore, let us at least just be cordial. That is what Miss Angie wants, so let's just give it to her and be on our merry ways." Ellen tried to negotiate. "We will not all be friends? Every single one of
Betrothed To The Rogue King   Pieces of pasts
"But two weeks before she was supposed to tell him that she was pregnant with his pup even though it belonged to a rogue, she had a miscarriage. And I naively thought that since she'd had a miscarriage, we would let bygones be bygones, and I would get back with my man. But no! Glenn had tasted wealth and she was not going to let go easily. Or at all, as I have now come to understand." Mila said in an accusatory tone. "But it will still benefit everyone right?" Sophia insisted, and Mila glanced angrily at her. I sighed deeply, "How did we even get to this point, where we are tearing each other apart with our words? How did it get so bad?" I asked sadly with downcast eyes. "Oh well, your self sabotage led us here." Martha said, and I turned to look at her. "But why, Martha? Why did you do it? Why did you lie to me?" I was trying desperately to find an excuse good enough for me to forgive Martha, because I had grown attached to her sweet and kind nature, or her facade of sweet, tende
Betrothed To The Rogue King   Breaking free
I had felt that talking about everything that we did, and making up, was going to be enough for Miss Angie, and that she would free us from the stuck elevator, but as the hours went by, I started to panic seriously. The space was starting to hem me in and stifle me. "When exactly will Miss Angie free us from this bondage? Is it when we all die from claustrophobia? The darkness in here is starting to really bother me…" I complained, feeling very bitter, and Ellen reached out and held my hand. "Miss Angie!" Martha screamed suddenly, "If you can hear us, please get us out of here. We have talked about everything we wanted to talk about and we're good now. Please… We're out of snacks, and I need to shower and change my tampon for fucks sake!" She said, kicking the walls of the elevator angrily. "Oh… Aunty Flo is in town… NoNo wonder you have been so cranky." Glenn said, and Martha rolled her eyes. She was apparently having a mood swing, and was not at all in the mood to smile or be fri
Betrothed To The Rogue King   Silver lining
Finally, there was a hissing sound, and the doors started to open. We shielded our eyes from the bright light, and I felt tears streaming down my face at the flood of relief that wrapped its arms around my tired body. "Are you all okay?" A man asked, helping us out of the elevator one after the other. "Yes, yes, we're fine," I said, still shaking from the entire experience. I was not exactly sure how I felt, because somehow, my secrets were still hanging over my neck like a five hundred pound metal cross, dragging me down with everything I had and I was. After stepping out onto the floor, I watched Glenn, Mila, Ellen, Martha and Sophia hug each other tightly, grateful to be alive and out of that cramped, dark space. I refused to be folded into the group hug. I still wanted to be away from the girls for some time. As we walked away from the elevator, I could not help but feel a tiny sense of gratefulness for the experience. It had taught me a valuable lesson about the importance of
Betrothed To The Rogue King   The theatrics
Sleeping next to Attus, I woke up bright and early and realized that I did not have a single nightmare all through the night. As I sat up next to him, I yawned, stretched, and then looked over at him. I watched him sleep peacefully with his hair blown all over his face. I reached out tentatively and gently pushed his hair away from his face and behind his left ear with my fingertips. He turned in his sleep, mouthing some unintelligible words, and I pulled my hand away abruptly. I smiled to myself as I got out from under the covers. I walked languidly over to the window in my big night shirt and my old lady underwear, to peek out of it. It was still so early that the moon was still very visible in the sky. I smiled again as I refused to check the time. I just knew from the greyish blue tinge of the sky, that it would soon be the dawn of a dark, gloomy and rainy day. The winds had slowly started picking up even. I walked over to the kitchenette, and started to make pancakes. It was n
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Betrothed To The Rogue King   The end 2
I nodded, feeling grateful for her words. "I know, but I just don't know what to do. I feel so trapped."Becky leaned in, her voice soft and reassuring. "You're not trapped, sis. You always have options, even if they're not immediately clear. And remember, the only way to move forward is one step at a time."I took a deep breath, feeling a sense of clarity wash over me. "You're right. I need to take things one step at a time. And right now, that means figuring out how to make things better for myself."Becky smiled, her eyes filled with pride. "That's the spirit. We'll figure it out together. And if you need to stay here for a while, that's perfectly fine. You're always welcome here."I nodded, feeling a sense of relief. "Thank you, Becky. I don't know what I would do without you."We spent the rest of the day talking, laughing, and reminiscing about old times. And as the sun began to set, I felt a sense of hope, of optimism for the future. I knew that I still had a long road ahead of
Betrothed To The Rogue King   The end 1
As I continued on my way, I realized that this was one of the most fulfilling experiences I had had in a long time. Helping to bring people together and create a sense of unity was truly rewarding.But my work was not yet done. There were still external threats to the castle, and we needed to be prepared for anything that might come our way.One day, as I was walking through the castle, I heard the sound of horns in the distance. I immediately ran to the walls to see what was happening.In the distance, I could see a group of raiders approaching the castle, their banners waving in the wind. The guards on the walls were scrambling to prepare for the attack.I knew that we had to act quickly. I raced to the queen's chambers to inform her of the impending attack. She quickly assembled her advisors and knights, and we began to prepare for the defense of the castle.The knights were ready and eager for battle, and the peasants were doing their part as well. They had been trained in basic c
Betrothed To The Rogue King   Chance
I'm thinking of leaving Xavier again."I said at the nail salon with Mila and Ellen, and they looked over at me with pity in their eyes." Don't look at me like I said I'll drink acid, girls!" I said, and they blinked."The Irene problem, huh?" Mila asked, and I nodded sadly."I don't want to resort to making her life miserable," I replied. "But I just can't take it anymore. She's always making snide remarks and trying to one-up me. And don't even get me started on the baby. It's like Xavier has completely forgotten about me and everything we had."Mila and Ellen exchanged a knowing glance. "Look, we get it," Ellen said. "But have you considered giving Xavier another chance? Maybe he just needs some time to come around and realize how much he's hurting you.""I've given him plenty of chances," I retorted. "But it's like he doesn't care. And as for Irene, I don't
Betrothed To The Rogue King   Missing
Attus put a comforting arm around me. "I'm sorry you've been going through all of that," he said. "But you're not alone. I'm here for you, and so are your friends and family."I leaned into him, feeling grateful for his support. "I know," I said. "But sometimes it feels like that's not enough. I feel like I'm trapped here, with no escape."Attus was quiet for a moment, deep in thought. Then he spoke."I know we can't change everything that's going on in the castle," he said. "But we can try to make things better, in our own small way. We can spend more time together, and with our friends. We can support each other, and be there for each other."I looked up at him, feeling hopeful for the first time in a while. "You're right," I said. "We can do that. And maybe, in time, things will get better."Attus smiled at me, his brown eyes warm and reassuring. "I believe they will," he said. "We just have to take things one day at a time, and be there for each other along the way."I nodded, fee
Betrothed To The Rogue King   The birth
Months flew past like seconds and one night, Irene's loud screams woke the entire castle. She was in labour. Withy how dramatic she was, hse made life a living hell even for the Alpha King who'd had two children with me and never had to suffer so much with me. "I am dying!" She screamed, scratching, punching and kicking everyone and everything in her way. The midwife and nurses quickly arrived at Irene's chambers, trying their best to calm her down and carry her to the delivery room. It was a difficult task, as Irene continued to thrash around, screaming and cursing everyone in sight.Finally, they managed to get her to the delivery room, where she was immediately immersed in a large basin of warm water. Irene had insisted on a water birth, as she claimed it was the most natural and pain-free way to give birth. But as the contractions intensified, she began to regret her decision.The midwife and nurses did their best to support her through the labor, but it soon became clear that th
Betrothed To The Rogue King   The slap
Irene sneered down at the little girl. "I don't care what you meant. Just stay out of my way from now on, or you'll regret it."Luna ran off, sobbing uncontrollably, and Orion soon found her and asked her what had happened. When Luna told him, he became upset and ran off to find me. When he found me, he told me what had happened and I immediately went to find Irene."Irene, we need to talk," I said firmly, my eyes blazing with anger."What do you want?" Irene snapped, her hand resting protectively on her pregnant belly."I want to know why you slapped my daughter," I replied, trying to keep my voice calm."She got in my way, and I warned her to stay out of it," Irene replied, her voice dripping with disdain."That's not an excuse to hit a child," I said, my voice rising. "You could have hurt her. She's just a little girl.""She should know better than to get in my way," Irene said coldly. "I don't have time for her childish games.""She's just a child!" I exclaimed, my anger getting t
Betrothed To The Rogue King   True colours
"I'm sorry," I said again, my voice breaking. "I never meant to hurt you. I love you both so much."Luna and Orion clung to me tightly, their tears soaking my hospital gown. I could feel the warmth of their bodies, the beating of their hearts, and I knew that I never wanted to lose them again.As we sat there, huddled together in my hospital bed, I realized just how much I had to be grateful for. Despite my struggles, I still had the love and support of my children, my family, and my friends. And as I looked at Luna and Orion's tear-streaked faces, I knew that I had to do everything in my power to make things right."I promise to do better," I said, my voice thick with emotion. "I promise to fight my addiction and be the best mother I can be."Luna looked up at me, her eyes wide with hope. "You mean it, Mommy?""I do," I replied firmly. "I'm going to get better for you and your brother. I want to be here for all the good moments, to watch you grow up and become the amazing people I kn
Betrothed To The Rogue King   Thought
I lay in the hospital bed, feeling alone and ashamed, and I knew that I had to face my husband and own up to my mistakes. I couldn't continue to hide from him, couldn't continue to avoid the consequences of my actions.As he walked into the room, I could see the anger in his eyes, the disappointment etched on his face. He stood beside my bed, his arms crossed over his chest, and I knew that I was in for a stern lecture.He spoke to me in a voice that was both stern and compassionate, reminding me of my responsibilities as his wife and as the Queen of our kingdom. He told me that my actions had consequences, not just for myself but for our entire kingdom, and that I needed to take responsibility for my mistakes.I listened to his words, feeling the weight of his disappointment bearing down on me. I knew that I had let him down, that I had failed in my duties as his wife and as a leader in our kingdom.But even as he spoke, I could see the love and concern in his eyes, and I knew that h
Betrothed To The Rogue King   Awaken
As I awaken in the hospital room, I am greeted by the sight of white walls and fluorescent lights. The room was small, with a single bed in the center, and medical equipment scattered throughout the space. I felt groggy, my head aching, and my stomach churning. The events leading up to my hospitalization were hazy, but a dull ache in my chest reminded me of the intense emotions that I was experiencing.As I looked around the room, my eyes caught a glimpse of the ashtray sitting on the bedside table. I reached out and picked up the ashtray, examining the contents. It was filled with cigarette butts, and the stench of smoke filled the air. I realized that I must have smoked an entire pack of cigarettes, one after the other, in an attempt to drown out my thoughts and emotions.I remembered taking swigs from a bottle of vodka, the warmth of the liquid filling my stomach as the alcohol took effect. I felt numb and detached from my surroundings, lost in a sea of self-pity and despair.Tears
