Chapter 5

It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone. - Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy

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The cold water was a shock to my heated face and I debated on simply sticking my head under the faucet. At least they’ll never think to look in my direction as the Betrayer. I scowled at my reflection. *Bal, seriously, how is this possible? For the love of God, I’m human. I’m not even supposed to have a mate, much less two.*

*After the Great War, it was said that the praetor’s wolf was sundered by the demon spawn - Deabru, and placed into two different bodies, thus two twin brothers with the same wolf. I had thought it was talk. Soldiers bragging, and all that, but if it was true, if they shared just one wolf then it’s possible you can connect with both of them.*

I grabbed a hand towel, drying my face, still scowling. *Except for the part that I’m human and shouldn’t connect with any wolf. Look, I say we ditch this little get together. Tell them I had lady problems or something.*

*I think that might be best.*

With a deep breath, I opened the door and took a quick step towards the main door only to stumble back when the praetor’s brother appeared right in front of me and I nearly ended up on the floor again.

“Whoa, easy,” he said, holding his hands up with a crooked smile and I felt a jolt from my heart all the way down to my toes. “Everything alright?”

“Uhm, yeah,” I said, my voice once again an airy, breathless sound.

“A little high strung aren’t ya?” He said.

I started to give him my excuse to leave when he placed his hand on the back of my shoulder, shattering every thought in my head. “Come on, Big Brother is ready to start, and waiting makes him even grumpier than usual.”

I snapped my mouth shut as he ushered me back into the parlor and into the love seat where I was sitting before.

The praetor did in fact look a little grumpier than he was before. “Are we ready now?” he asked and his voice left no doubt that he was irritated.

“Shoot, Bro,” his brother replied.

The praetor gave him a look then shook his head with minimal movement. “Right, I wanted to discuss the theory Ms. de Léon discussed with Ian last night,” he began, then told them the inner circle was coming under suspect.

“So you think one of the praetor’s most trusted people is the Betrayer?” Carl asked. His face told me what little he thought of the idea. “You do realize the extensive checks each and everyone of us has gone through, Girl?”

I stopped my staring match with my legs and glared at Carl. He was what? Eight or ten years older than me. Where did he get off calling me girl? “No, I don’t know what involves becoming the praetor’s little circle of trust and beyond finding the Betrayer I don’t care. Obviously, he’s been able to get past your security before. What makes you think he hasn’t gotten better at it?” I winced, realizing that wasn’t a submissive reply and stared back down at my legs.

“That’s a very good point,” the praetor’s brother said, sounding impressed. “I do have one question though. If you’re going to investigate all my brother’s people…” I could feel him lean towards me. “Are you going to interrogate me personally?”

My head shot up at the blatant flirty tone. I looked at him confused for a moment before remembering to lower my eyes.

*Centuries-old and he’s still using the same old lines,* Balric said with a blasé tone.

“Daniel, could you please be serious,” the praetor told him. “Carl, I don’t care if you think it’s impossible, I want you and Desirée to work on this.”

“Together?” I said unable to hide my disgust.

“Sir, I don’t think…” Carl started at almost the same time.

“It’s an order,” he told us.

The power of the order washed over me and I ducked my head with actual submissiveness. “Yes, Sir. If there isn’t anything else, I should go.”

The praetor gave me a dismissive nod. “You’ll begin tomorrow at ten.”

Getting up from the loveseat, I got the heck out of Dodge. As soon as I was outside my head cleared and I started to feel normal again.

“You know,” I heard Daniel say from behind me. “It’s not as cold as I thought it would be considering how far north we are. It’s what like nearly sixty?”

With a startled squeak, I nearly fell again. It was only him grabbing my arm that saved me from a face plant. “How do you do that?”

He grinned, making my stomach twist in knots. “Do what?”

“Never mind,” I said, shaking my head. It was probably better that the praetor’s brother didn’t know the effect he had on me.

*Yes. That would be best. It would also be in our best interest if you got rid of him.*

*Thank you Captain Obvious.* I walked quickly, hoping to put some distance between me and the praetor’s brother.

Unfortunately, it seemed he had no problems keeping up with me. “So,” Daniel said, drawing out the word for a few seconds. “You’re not as nerdy as I expected.”

“Uh, I’m sorry, what?” I was not sure what he meant or even how he meant it.

“Nah, don't be. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.”

I gave him a sidelong glance then focused back on the street. “If you wanted to see a nerd then you should have stayed with Carl,” I said though I didn’t actually mean to say it. My cheeks warmed with chagrin. “Sorry, Sir.”

“Sorry? What for? That was funny and true,” he replied. Not sure what to say I kept walking. “So,” he said again and in the same fashion as the first. “Want to go get something to eat?”

The question caught me by surprise and I tripped again, but this time I had managed to catch myself. Did he just ask me out?

*No. You have to say no. Tell him you’re not interested.* The urgency in Balric’s voice sent a sharp stab of pain through my temple.

*Thanks again, Captain Obvious.* “Uh, sorry, Sir, but I have to get back to work.”

“Daniel.”

“Excuse me?”

He gave me that dangerously charming grin again. “My name is Daniel. Please call me that instead of sir. My brother may get off on it, but it just makes me shudder.”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” I replied, huddling in my jacket as if it was colder than it really was. More than anything I just wanted him to give up and leave, or at least that’s what I told myself.

“Why not?”

“It’s not right. It’s disrespectful,” I said.

“No, it’s not. Especially when I ask you too,” he replied. “And why are we still walking? Where did you park?”

“I don’t have a car.”

“Then how’d you get to the house?” he asked, sounding a little concerned.

“My sister picked me up and since she left I am walking to the office.”

“How far is that?”

I sighed a little louder than I probably should have considering his rank was much higher than mine. “It’s about ten minutes if we keep this pace. If it displeases you then you are more than welcome to turn around and go back.”

His snickering wasn’t the response I’d expected. “Kinda feisty aren’t you. So why don’t you drive? Is it some kind of stand against the evils of modern technology?” He laughed again when he saw the narrow-eyed glare I gave him.

I chose to ignore the feisty comment and focused on the safer subject. “Can’t it be that I just like to walk?”

“Have you even driven a car?”

“Nope,” I lied, but it was another practiced lie so it came easy.

“Well, that explains it. You don't know what you’re missing,” he told me then smiled with an almost excited look on his face. “Hey, how about we go back and I can teach you the basics of driving.”

“Thanks for the offer Sir, but we’re almost at the office.” It was hard to not feel flattered by his eagerness and determination.

“Then let me take you out to lunch. It’s almost lunchtime and just so you know, it would be unkind to make me eat alone when I’m a visitor here.” When he finished, Daniel actually gave me sad puppy eyes.

I started to say something then closed it, ignoring the warning Balric was pushing into my brain. *I got it. I need to get rid of him.* “You’re the Praetor’s second. I doubt you ever have to eat alone. There are many beautiful women in our pack whom I’m sure would love to have lunch with you.” A flair of jealousy twisted like a knife in my gut.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said looking smug. “But they also would expect more than just lunch. If I went out with one of them next thing I know she’s telling everyone we’re a thing or worse mated.”

“Well, that does suck,” I said, knowing all too well how the women of my pack loved to gossip and play that “one man up ship” game when it came to men.

“You have no idea,” he said with a groan. “That's why you’re cool.”

“Because I don’t try to trap you into a relationship when you decided to say hello to me?” I wasn’t sure how that made me cool and the irony of it wasn’t lost on me either.

“Yep,” he said deadpan. “So?”

“I’d like to,” I admitted, relieved and disappointed when we stopped in front of the office. “But I can’t.”

“Then why don’t I go with you,” he suggested.

He really couldn’t be that desperate for a date? “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You don’t seem like the type to sit and be quiet. If you came inside, I’d never get anything done. Sorry, but you’ll have to find someone else to entertain you.”

“You are a stubborn, cruel woman Desirée de Léon. Very cruel,” he said shaking his head disapprovingly.

“It comes with the job,” I told him, only half-joking. “Good afternoon, Sir.”

“Daniel,” he insisted.

“Daniel,” I relented and stepped inside the office, unable to keep the smile off my face. It was a good thing Sam wasn’t there or he’d never let me hear the end of it.

*You need to stay away from that one. He’s more dangerous than Praetor Noah.*

I started to argue with Balric. I wasn’t an idiot, but the words died on my lips. He had called me feisty, we’d talked and laughed together…crap! Somewhere in my conversation with the praetor’s brother, I had stopped pretending to be a submissive weak wolf. *I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.*

*He’s your mate. That’s what happened. It’s hard to hide anything from one’s mate. You must never let yourself be alone with him again.*

I went back into my office and tried to piece together something to show Carl tomorrow, but my walk with Daniel had left me too rattled. Giving up, I headed home and did my best to distract both Balric and me from our growing worry. The praetor and his brother were and unforeseen problem and so very dangerous. With herbal tea and a renewed resolve to avoid the twins as much as possible, I decided to try to get some sleep.

Lightning made the clouds glow with unholy light on the horizon. Balric feared the display to be an omen of times to come. Today had been a grievous day. He knew Agron was rash and often didn’t think before he went on some campaign, but this? Rushing into an unstable cavern plagued with moonstone, Callius with him, all because of a rumor a child was lost and hurt somewhere inside.

Balric closed his eyes and wondered, and not for the first time if he’d made a mistake making Agron a wolf spirit. He loved his son. Agron was a good man, but the change didn’t always bring out the best in men. Becoming a wolf spirit offered power that not all men were equipped to handle wisely. Watching the lightning dance from cloud to cloud, Balric prayed.

He prayed for the life of Caius’ brother, may Callius survive until the healer would arrive. He prayed for his son, may Agron grow out of his rash foolishness. He prayed that Caius would be understanding and not punish his son too harshly. Yes, Balric prayed and was still praying when the skittish girl found him.

The girl of perhaps seventeen emerged from the darkness like one of the deabru, so much so Balric had his hand on the pommel of his sword before she fully emerged into the light spilling out from his small home. Her clothes, little better than rags, covered very little of her too thin form. He sniffed, catching her human scent and narrowed his eyes at her. “What do you seek, girl?”

“Sorry to bother you, milord,” she told him, titling him incorrectly but he saw no reason to correct her. “I did not know who else to go to for aid. It is your son, Agron.” Her eyes widened until it seemed they took up half her face. “I think they’re going to do something most foul with him.”

Alarm stabbed at him, making his stomach churn. “Who? What is it you know? Speak,” he demanded, knowing his voice was harsh, but he could not help himself.

The girl paled and shrunk away from him. In a shaky, weak voice she told him, “We were together when a woman came. She said her name was Helena and she needed to speak with him. He left with her.” A bashful look came over her face, but Balric doubted its worth. “I was worried Agron favored her over me so I followed them.”

The sour tang of her lies wrinkled his nose. Agron was courting the blacksmith’s daughter, who had accepted his advances. He would never seek another's company under such circumstances. Why was this girl lying? Or for whom? “What did you see?”

“She took him to a clearing about two miles from here, milord,” the girl told him, pointing in to her left. “There several others leaped on him and chained my beloved to a large stone, saying he was going to pay for what he’d done. I think they mean to kill him. You have to save him!”

Balric’s heart seized in his chest. He knew she was lying, but there was some truth in her words. The pack wouldn’t act against Agron without Caius’ order, but would Caius punish his son without telling him first? “Take me to where you found them.”

She flinched with a small jump like a frightened rabbit and took off towards the woods. Balric followed her easily, along the way picking up several familiar scents. Fear and worry made sweat prickle along the back of his neck. It couldn’t be. It couldn’t have come to this without his knowing. The girl led him true and at a clearing, he saw Agron chained to a large slab of stone while Ian looked through a thick leather-bound book.

Callias, pale and soaked with sweat, lay on a similar slab of stone a few feet from Agron. Over him stood his brother. Caius’s hard expression carried hope and worry. Balric saw Helena, Caius’s lover and she saw him. With a shout, the entirety of Caius’s pack fell on Balric. He fought, but there were too many and he was soon bound in silver against a tree.

“Caius? My alpha? What are you doing? What will you do to my son?” He cried out, begging for an explanation that wasn’t betrayal. Balric had put himself before many a blade meant for his alpha. He served with complete loyalty and had been promised the same in return.

Caius looked up from his brother to Balric. “I’m sorry my blade, my dear friend, but Callias is dying. You know I can’t allow for that to happen.”

“Sara,” Balric cried, ignoring the burn of silver. “Sara can save him. She’s coming.”

Indecision warred on Caius’s face, but Ian, like a hidden serpent, poisoned him with venomous whispers. The indecision was gone from his alpha’s face and replaced with cruel determination. “I cannot wait and risk the death of my brother,” he told Balric as he nodded to Ian. “I wish you hadn’t come, my friend. This is not something for you to witness, but it is done and I cannot waste time sending you away or worse, that you attempt to interfere.”

Ian moved to stand over Agron chanting in a dark tongue, a forbidden tongue. It was a language of the demon spawn. Balric sucked in a breath. That was a black book of power. How did someone as young as Ian get such a book and how did he know what spell to use? He who last Balric knew, didn’t know how to read?

The storm on the horizon drew closer as Ian’s demonic chanting grew stronger, sending black magic into Agron. The bitter acidic smell made Balric’s nose itch and his stomach uneasy. Agron began to scream. It was a loud, soul-wrenching scream, full of agony. A wave of terror filled Balric as he realized what Ian was doing. Ian was ripping out Agron’s wolf spirit from his human body.

Balric had never seen such dark magic done and always thought it was a tale to scare friends around a fire. He watched horrified as Ian siphoned the soul from his son and into the body of ailing Callius. “Father, help me,” Agron begged. “Please…” It was such a broken, helpless sound. It struck Balric to his very soul. His child needed him. Balric growled, fighting the burn of the chains, betrayal fueling his anger.

“Caius, stop this! We can find another way to save your brother, but not like this! Not by torturing my son to death,” Balric shouted at him, but Caius refused to look in his direction.

He kept his eyes on Ian’s black magic working. Guilt and shame were on his face, but there was hope too. Balric knew as long as he had hope, Caius would never listen to him, and would save his brother even if it condemned the world. Balric let out a mighty roar, sharing his son’s agonizing pain. He looked at all those present.

The entire pack was there. The ones he thought would keep him safe, his family. All of them there to watch as Ian performed his dark magic and tortured his son. Balric’s heart broke as the night fell silent of screams and he knew his son was gone. The body was nothing but an empty shell that would slowly rot. Balric let out another roar into the night. Rage, betrayal giving it strength.

I jolted upright from the bed, screaming with Balric’s rage. It had been so real and vivid. I could smell the damp electrically charged air from the approaching storm. My body was coated in sweat and I groaned as the pain hit me. “Mierda.” I recognized the pain as an oncoming shift. “Bal,” I called out, hoping he could stop it before it came, but he was silent. Probably still lost in the nightmare. He often was lost like that when we dreamed of Agron.

I gasped, doubling over with pain, feeling the muscles tighten in anticipation of the change. “No,” I growled out, reaching for my nightstand. We couldn’t shift. It would be all over if I shifted. Everyone would be able to smell Balric in my scent. My hand shook so bad it was nearly impossible for me to grab the nightstand drawer handle to open it. When I finally managed, I was nearly delirious with pain, and the temptation to simply surrender to the change was growing.

I had maybe a minute at best before it would overcome me. I grit my teeth as I reached in and grabbed the syringe, ripping off the cap with my teeth. Sucking in a breath, I stabbed myself in the stomach and pushed the plunger. My chest rose and lifted erratically with my panting as I waited. Finally, warmth spread through me and my muscles relaxed. Pain dulling, I fell back onto the bed.

Horrified, I watched as my nails shrunk to their original length and the little tufts of black hair all along my hand and wrist fell out. This had been close. Too close. As time passed, it was getting harder and harder to suppress shifting. At first, I could do it with the force of will, but a year ago I had to borrow my sister’s old med school textbooks and the internet to search for something stronger.

I had first considered things like morphine but being so addictive I figured becoming an addict could be worse than actually shifting. It took me a while but finally, I figured out a special cocktail of muscle relaxants, sedatives, and traces of wolfsbane that would prevent me from shifting by forcing my body and mind to become very relaxed, almost to the point of going to sleep.