CHAPTER FOUR- The Beginning of Pain

Blaire white

I dashed down the flowery path, racing past the dancing trees. My heart was pounding heavily, and with a mix of determination and anxiety, I wouldn't be able to make it on time.

Dear goddess. Help me this once.

It was almost evening, and I couldn't afford to appear late for cleaning duties again this week like I did all through last week. Brena might have been lenient with me before, but that didn't mean I'd be interested in trying her patience.

I knew how tough she could be when she's angry; trust me, you don't want to get on her bad side. It's ugly.

The evening air carried a slight chill, but the adrenaline rushing through me kept me warm. I could feel my breath quickening, and I tried to steady it, reminding myself to stay focused. My mind raced through the tasks awaiting me at work and also the ones I hadn't done yesterday, mentally preparing for the responsibilities that lie ahead.

I sighted the packhouse barely inches away and narrowed down the pathway, turning to my right. Hastily dashing into the premises, I threw a quick greeting at the warriors on guard and proceeded to fly down the hallway that stretched farther down. By the time I arrived at the servant quarters, I was a panting and breathless mess.

All eyes were on me, and I shrieked inwardly. I should have kept track of time; if I had, I wouldn't be fighting for my breath right now. But then again, it wasn't my fault that time always flew so quickly whenever I was with Sinclair.

I blushed as my mind kept drifting back to the tender moment I had with him. I recalled the passionate kiss he had given me when I had arrived to meet him. It's like a beautiful memory playing on repeat, filling my heart with warmth and longing. He was shy yet sweet and passionate. He always made my heart race.

I remember how he pulled me close, his arms wrapping around me in a loving embrace. The soft touch of his lips on mine, gentle and affectionate, sent shivers down my spine and made my heart skip a beat. Each kiss felt like a promise of his love and devotion, a silent reassurance that we were in this together.

His kisses are unlike any other—full of tenderness, passion, and a deep connection that I can't quite put into words. Time seems to slow down whenever we kiss, as if the world around us fades away, leaving just the two of us basking in the beauty of the moment.

Or maybe I was this crazy for him because he was my first and hopefully my mate, which I would find out tomorrow, which was my birthday.

Sinclair was my boyfriend for two years and counting. He is a warrior and a guard in the packhouse. He is extremely tall, with coal-black hair and mesmerizing brown eyes with golden tints surrounding them. Just thinking about him turned my insides to mush and my stomach to a butterfly garden.

"Almost late again." Glen chuckled as she passed by me, smacking my head subtly.

"Ouch!" I playfully glared at her.

"What would have been your excuse this time, hm?" She asked, rubbing her chin with a knowing smirk.

I scowled at her, rubbing my head in feigned pain. "I went to see Sinclair, and I lost track of time." I shrugged, and Raven, who was standing in the corner of the room, groaned in unison with Glen.

"That man will be the death of you." Glen shook her head at me.

"And I won't be surprised if he ends up being your true mate once you officially turn eighteen tomorrow," Raven laughed.

I prayed to the moon goddess daily that he would end up being my mate. I was so in love with him that I eagerly looked forward to the end of the workday, where I could rush back into his arms and experience those sweet kisses once again.

I was about to reply to Raven when Brena stormed into the kitchen, her face stern as always, making me keep my mouth shut instantly. Her eyes took on our faces as the kitchen grew silent immediately upon her arrival.

"Glen, you'd be handily on the left wing today." She began, and Glen immediately scurried away like her pants were on fire, and maybe that was true, as Brena's eyes alone could burn someone to ashes.

"You're taking the right wing." She commended me with her eyes, pinning me down with scrutiny, and I nodded and bowed before leaving immediately.

I grabbed my cleaning tools from the cleaning room and headed down the hallway and up the flight of stairs to begin my work. Usually, cleaning never takes me more than an hour, which meant I'd be able to make the apple pie for my birthday and bring it to my mother like I had promised this morning.

For some reason, she wanted to celebrate my birthday the day before. I found it weird, but I didn't question her. Maybe she thought I would be spending the whole day with Sinclair, who would end up being my mate.

My smile widened as I hurriedly began cleaning, but less than five minutes into it, my phone began ringing. The loud vibration had me frantically fishing for my phone in the pocket of my gown.

I hurriedly gazed around, relieved to see no one around. It was illegal to own a cell phone, but I had one because my boyfriend had snuck one out for me when the Alpha had brought back a shipment for a selected few from our pack and the neighboring pack.

He was the best boyfriend I could ever ask for.

"Hello?" I whispered.

"Blaire, there's bad news." A voice said something I immediately recognized.

It was Vinnie, the pack doctor, after spending some time with him. My heartbeat picked up pace upon hearing his words, and my hands began shaking with an unknown fear.

"What's wrong?"

There was a moment of silence before he finally said, "Your mom convulsed and has slipped into a coma. From the look of things, she might not make it past tonight." He sighed, "I'm sorry—"

My head was spinning from the information. I couldn't seem to understand what he was saying; all I knew was that I had to see my mother immediately.

I stood up, immediately breaking into a run. I could explain to Brena later, but right now I had to see my mom, as this might be the last chance I could get. She was okay when I left her this morning, so what the hell is the doctor saying?

I ran through the thick cluster of buildings but couldn't shake off the heaviness in my heart. I bumped into a few, but I didn't care, as my mother was more important right now.

She was the pillar of strength in my life, and hearing that she was now bedridden with her life force fading like the embers of a dying fire made me desperate, and I hoped that the pack doctor could work a miracle and save her.

I arrived at the pack infirmary where my mom was staying, nearly tripping on my gown in my haste.

I reached her room, bursting through the door in a panting mess, but the sight that awaited my eager eyes sent me limp and frozen on the spot. Vinnie and some nurses were standing beside my mom. A nurse said something to Vinnie, which made him withdraw from my mother, dropping her hands with a sad shake of his head.

Wait, wait, what did that mean? I blinked at Vinnie with widened eyes, confusion waging war on my emotions. He looked resigned. Why did he look so resigned and defeated?

"Vinnie, what's going on? Why do you have that look on your face?" I looked past his approaching figure, a gasp nearly choking me at seeing a nurse cover my mother completely with a white cover.

"Why are they covering her? Freaking tell them to fucking stop!" I screamed, about to lunge at them, but ended up in the restrictive muscular arms of Vinnie.

"Hey, hey, hey... calm down, okay? It's okay, it's okay." He kept whispering to me as I squirmed in his arms, refusing to accept reality.

"Let me go, Vinnie!" I screamed, my voice shaky. "You should have saved her. You should have freaking saved her." I kept hitting him over and over, but he took it all with no complaints.

His blue eyes stared at me, and his hands held my face. "I'm so sorry; we couldn't save her. We tried our best. I know you're hurting, but please take it easy. She fought hard, but apparently it wasn't enough. I'm so sorry." He whispered before pulling me into a tight hug.

"S-she… Wasn't she laughing today? She asked for apple pie. I was. She could... wasn't she... how, Vinnie?" A tear rolled down my face as I stared at her covered body.

The dam broke loose, and I broke into a screaming, wailing mess in Vinnie's arms. She shouldn't have died. She was all I had left. "She was all I had left, Vinnie. No one else—just her. I thought she had gotten better, I guess the illness was much worse than I thought.

He sighed, kissing atop my head, "It's okay, love."

"No, there must be something you can do! Please, I beg you," I pleaded, my voice cracking with emotion.

He touched my hand reassuringly. "I understand your pain, Blaire, but sometimes we must accept the natural course of life. Fighting against it might only prolong her suffering. Instead, you can embrace the memories and the love you shared with her, cherishing the time forever."

His words pierced my heart, and though I felt the weight of his wisdom, I couldn't bear to let go of my mother just yet. "Isn't there a tiny glimmer of hope, a remedy you can use to bring her back to life?"

His expression softened even more. "Trust me, I wish I was a magician or a witch because I would have done that since. We had offered her all the treatments we could, but they would only ease her pain temporarily. Her body is weary, and her spirit seems ready to embrace the next chapter. It's not me who decided her fate, but rather the natural flow of the universe."

I stood in silence, struggling to accept his words. I wanted to be strong and honor my mother's wishes, but the thought of losing her was overwhelming.

A nurse rushed into the room, requesting Vinnie's presence urgently. He shot me an apologetic look, nodding at me before slowly stepping away from me. "I'd come see you after work, okay?" He followed the nurse, leaving me all alone.

I was left all alone to grieve. I sank down the wall, staring at her corpse emptily. I wasn't sure how else to cry. Recalling our last conversation, she had asked me to bury her in the woods whenever she died. A fresh batch of tears brewed in my eyes. She knew. She freaking knew she would be joining the moon goddess in heaven. Why did she choose to tell me that today, of all days? Why couldn't she wait after my birthday?

I badly wanted to eat the apple pie with her.

I dragged myself off the floor, heading out to find a nurse. I needed to have her body today so I could bury her and mourn her properly.

I found a nurse who referred me to another nurse at the reception. She got the paperwork ready, and the body was released to me. My phone began vibrating in my pocket, and I politely excused myself.

"Hello?" My voice was barely audible.

"Baby? Are you okay? You don't sound so good. I met Glen and asked for you, but she told me that she had seen you running off but didn't even get a chance to approach you. Is everything okay?" Sinclair asked.

I swallowed, feeling tears roll down my face as my lips trembled. The news was too heavy to deliver. "Mum… she's g-gone." I whispered, breaking into a sob.

"Shit! Oh my God, baby, I'm coming to the infirmary right now." He disconnected the call.

I waited at the reception, and in less than ten minutes, Sinclair dashed through the door. His eyes scanned the environment, and when he spotted me sitting quietly and dejectedly, he rushed to my side, throwing me into his sweaty arms. His breaths were pants, and I figured he ran here just like I did.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. I'm here now." He whispered to me.

"Help me carry her to the forest, please." I whispered.

His beautiful eyes stared into mine before he nodded. "Tell me her room number; I'd go get her."

"28." I swallowed, my voice barely audible.

He pressed a kiss on my forehead before leaving. I sat blinking into space with a numb mind. I was hurting so damn much that I couldn't feel sh*t anymore.

"Baby… I got her. Are you ready to go?"

I didn't say anything and quietly stood up. Sinclair was carrying her dead body bridal style. I forced a weak smile, appreciating him even more for ditching his duties just to be here with me.

The walk to the woods was quiet and agonizing. I was going to have to say goodbye to her soon, something I wasn't ready to do at all. I rubbed my arms, suddenly feeling chilly. I shivered as we delved deeper into the woods.

I found a nice spot for her burial and asked Sinclair to lower her. I dropped to the ground, beginning the heartbreaking act of digging her grave. I lost control of my emotions again, letting out a gut-wrenching scream. Sinclair rushed to my side, holding me in his arms as he soothed me. I didn't know how I was feeling, but one word that summarized everything was pain." I was in a lot of it.

I finished digging the grave, and Sinclair gently lowered her pale body into it. He dropped beside me, insisting I let him help me. We covered her body, and Sinclair passed me a wild rose that he had picked while I was digging the grave. I knew it was time for a farewell speech, but inasmuch as there was everything to say, I had nothing in particular to say except, "I love you, mom." You'll always live in my memories."

I sniffled, wiping my nose with the back of my palm, and said, "I love you so, so, so much. I was going to make you the apple pie you wanted so much as we both prepared to celebrate my birthday tomorrow. You were supposed to see your grandpups once Sinclair and I got married. You were supposed to..." I trailed off into another round of tears.

Sinclair held me tight in his hands, whispering to me, "It's okay, it's okay. Let it all out."

I would have loved to have Glen, Raven, and Vinnie here, but burying her was something I wanted to do in privacy. Sinclair was company enough for him. He and I were going to get married next year once we find out tomorrow that he is my mate, so it was only reasonable that he attend the funeral of his late mother-in-law-to-be.

I kissed her grave, knowing that she'd scold me for crying at her funeral if she were to still be here. I dropped my rose on her grave while Sinclair rolled a big stone over to serve as her headstone. He bowed his head in respect to her and dropped his rose beside the stone. He extended his claw and carved onto the stone, "in loving memory of Kylie White."

I sat beside a tree in his arms, appreciating that he was here with me at this very crucial moment of my life. He ran his hands through my hair, smoothing it down as he went. His phone suddenly went off, and although he didn't want to, he had to check the caller ID. Phones existed for reasons of emergency, and since he was a warrior and guard, it was important he had one.

"Fuck, it's Beta Francis. He says it's important." He turned to me.

"Baby, I have to go."

I blinked at him, hating that he had to leave at such a sensitive moment. I nodded in approval regardless. He had his duties, and I couldn't risk him getting into trouble because of me.

"Are you sure you'd be okay?" He asked, his golden eyes evidently concerned.

I nodded again, unable to speak. He lowered his head to kiss my forehead and cheeks before engaging my lips in a soft, slow, heartfelt kiss. He rested his forehead against mine, holding my hands tightly. He opened his eyes and pressed a kiss to my pale knuckles before standing to leave.

"I'd call you, okay?" He smiled at me before shifting into his wolf, Lester, for a faster journey back, leaving me to sit all to myself in the darkening forest.

Sinclair was the only family I had now, and I can't wait to confirm that he is truly my mate after my birthday tomorrow.