Chapter 3 Don't Fall

Chapter 3

Don't Fall

Hindi ako nakakibo sa gulat. His damp lips was warm and soft like how it felt the first time I kissed him. Pero iba iyon. This time, he initiated it!

Lumayo siya ng kaunti, tumingin sa labi ko bago niya ako tiningnan sa mata. Seryoso.

"You want to play with me? Then let's start your fucking game. Now, part your lips."

Before I could give any reaction, he kissed me again. He sucked on my lip, and just like a slave ruled by his master, kusang bumuka ang labi ko. He gave me hard and unforgiving kisses. His arm was tight around my waist, while his other hand was on my nape, pulling it gently so I could open my mouth better for his deeper kiss.

Napakapit ako sa kanyang braso. I equalled his hot kisses with mine. His lips followed a provocative rhythm, kissing me in a skillful way, as if he had long mastered this art. Hindi ko alam na may halik pa lang nakakawala ng huwisyo. Ito iyon.

Kaya lasing na lasing pa rin ako nang binawi niya ang halik. Habol ko ang hininga. He looked at me with dark weary eyes, lips parting a bit.

"I thought you don't like me?" I mocked, a small smirk plastered on my face even I felt dizzy.

"Bakit mo ako hinalikan, kung ganoon?"

Tinagilid niya ang ulo, madilim ang ekspresyon. Bumaba ulit ang tingin niya sa labi ko.

He sighed and muttered a soft curse.

"How do you want this done, then?"

Natigilan ako. Kinailangan ko pang iproseso sa utak ang sinabi niya. When I got what he meant, hindi ako makapaniwala.

"Does that mean you're accepting my offer?" I asked slowly.

"Isn't it obvious?"

Oh, shit!

I can't believe it. Kanina lang ay susukuan ko na siya dahil parang hindi ko talaga matitibag ang prinsipyo niya. But now, the tables were suddenly turned.

"I realized I'm a man, after all. I have needs and you're willing to provide me that. It's a good deal, so why not?" he talked about it like this is just another business deal with a client.

Ngumisi ako. "That's good, then."

"No fucking with other man, so better turn down the dogs around you."

"Jealous?"

He smirked darkly. "You think I have time for useless sentiments? Ayokong magkasakit. So I don't want you to fuck other man while we're at it. I won't do that too."

"I also want a healthy sex, so that's fine."

Tumalim ang tingin niya. "You sound very experienced on this, huh?"

"I can assure you I'm healthy, though," patol ko sa iniisip niya.

His jaw moved.

May sasabihin pa sana ako pero natigil nang makarinig ng malakas na pagkabasag. Sa kuryosidad ay lumayo ako kay Greco para tiningnan kung saan nanggaling iyon. Nakita kong may dinumog sa bukana ng bar bago tumambad ang mukha ni Nikki sa harap ko.

"Si Travis at Gio, nag-aaway!"

"What?"

Hindi ko na nalingon si Greco nang hatakin ako ni Nikki papunta sa komosyon. Naroon na sina Dianne at Adam. Tanaw ko rin ang iilang bouncers na nakahawak kay Gio at Travis.

Umawang ang bibig ko. Nagkalat ang bubog ng basag na bote sa sahig. Both Gio and Travis have bruises on their faces, pilit pa ring pumipiglas sa bouncers. What the hell is going on? At paanong nandito si Travis? Hindi naman siya imbitado sa kasal!

"Why are you here, Travis?"

"Leira!" His expression softened when he looked at me. Mas kalmado na ngayon.

"That ex of yours is a bastard, Leira," galit na sinabi ni Gio.

Babawi sana si Travis pero hinawakan ko ang braso niya. Tumingin ako kay Bernard. He quickly pulled Gio away. Bumuntong hininga ako at nahihiyang tiningnan sina Dianne bago hinatak si Travis palabas ng bar.

"What is wrong with you, Travis?!" I was very pissed.

"He insulted me first, Leira. Siyempre nagalit ako! He even said that he'd fill my place as your boyfriend, kaya lalo akong nagalit!"

"Kung maging boyfriend ko man siya, so what? Wala na tayo, Travis! Huwag mo sabihing nakalimutan mo?"

Hindi ko na inalintana ang iilang napadaan at tuloy-tuloy ako.

"But that's not the point here. Bakit ka nandito? We're here for Dianne's wedding, tapos gagawa ka ng ganoong gulo? Hindi mo man lang ba naisip? Nakakahiya kina Dianne!"

"I'm sorry, alright? Napangunahan ako ng galit at hindi na nag-isip. Please... I'm sorry, Leira."

Sinubukan niya akong hawakan pero tinampal ko ang kamay niya.

"What's the use of coming here, anyway? Are you thinking I'd go back to you?"

"Leira... I promise, I won't be possessive anymore. Hindi na kita pipigilan sa mga gusto mong gawin. I promise!"

Pumikit ako ng mariin at suminghap.

This is the problem of men sometimes. They grow obsessive to the point of foolishness. Noong una, okay naman si Travis. He's easy to be with at hindi rin seloso. Pero pagkatapos ng dalawang linggo mula ng sagutin ko siya ay doon siya nagsimulang maging ganoon. He texts me most of the time that we aren't together, asking who I am with and what I'm doing. Masyado siyang paranoid.

"I told you clearly that we're done, Travis. I already broke up with you and that's it. Alam mo namang hindi uso ang take two sa akin!"

"That's unfair, Aleira! A relationship is decided by two, paanong ikaw lang ang may karapatang magdesisyon?"

"Don't be too sentimental, Travis. I broke up with you for a reason. You're too attached, at masyado kang controlling–"

"Kaya nga sinabi kong magbabago ako, 'di ba!"

"But it's too late!"

"Why? You like someone else now? Iyong kaibigan mo ba? You'd rather have him instead of me? Really?" He was very sarcastic.

I was fuming. He's missing the point!

"You're ego is just hurt, Travis. Lilipas din 'yan kaya puwede ba, umalis ka na lang dito at huwag ka ng manggulo!"

"That bastard isn't even worth it, Leira!"

Tumalim ang tingin ko. "And you are?"

"What the fuck? So inaamin mo nga? Siya ang ipinalit mo sa'kin?"

"Kung ganoon nga, labas ka na roon!"

"Leira, please–"

"Nothing could change my mind, Travis! You know what, you better go back to Manila."

Nagmura siya at sinipa ang semento roon.

"He's not a good choice, Aleira! I tell you!" galit niyang utas at naglakad palayo, rinig ko ang malulutong niyang mura.

Fine! You're not a good choice either!

Attachment is really a burden. Mukhang hindi na talaga ako magbo-boyfriend kailanman. I just wish my fiance isn't like any of my exes. A nagging husband will be my the end of me.

Nagpakalma muna ako bago bumalik sa loob. Nasa lounge na ulit sina Dianne. May hawak na ice pack si Gio habang tatawa-tawa si Bernard sa gilid niya. Naroon din si Greco, pati ang dalawang kaibigan. Nagkatinginan kami pagkaupo ko sa tabi ni Nikki.

"Ano? Nagkausap na kayo?" si Dianne.

"Don't tell me nagkabalikan kayo ng gagong 'yon, Leira?" si Gio.

Greco raised a brow at me, parang gusto pa yatang makisali.

"Trust me, Leira doesn't do that. Kapag sinabi niyang tapos na, tapos na talaga," ani Nikki.

"We only talked and that's it. Pinaalis ko na. I'm sorry, Dianne, Adam. Nagkagulo pa tuloy ng dahil sa'kin," sabi ko.

"Don't take all the blame, Leira. Hindi naman magkakagulo kung hindi ginalit ni Gio si Travis," si Bernard.

"Alam niyo namang mainit na talaga ang dugo ko ro'n noon pa man!" si Gio.

"Ang sabihin mo, inggit ka kay Travis dahil hindi mo siya matalo-talo sa racing!"

I sighed and drank a shot. Napapikit ako sa dumaang pait sa lalamunan. Nang dumilat ay nagtama ang paningin namin ni Greco. He's leaning on the sofa, eyes were dark. I smirked when I remembered what we talked about. Lalo tuloy akong nainis kay Travis dahil naputol ang usapan namin kanina.

Napunta sa ibang bagay ang usapan at kung saan-saan pa. Dumating ang karagdagang inumin. Our lounge was noisy with my cousins and Bernard's friends. Tuloy-tuloy ang inom ni Nikki sa shots na ayaw paawat. She gave me too, pero dalawa lang ang ininom ko dahil medyo inaantok na at nahihilo.

"Body shot! Body shot!" they cheered.

"Kanino ba?" Nikki laughed loudly. Doon pa lang alam ko ng natamaan na siya ng alak.

"Kung kanino mo gusto!" Gio's male friend said.

"Alright! Kay Lincoln na lang!"

Napuno ng kantyawan ang aming table. Pati ang mga nasa dancefloor kanina ay naroon na rin para makisali.

Nikki put the salt on Lincoln's neck kaya umigting ang hiyawan. Tumawa ako at sumimsim sa cocktail nang sinabayan pa niya iyon ng lap dance!

"Pa-lap dance rin ako, Nikki!" someone shouted.

Nikki drank the shot and we all cheered.

"O, si Aleira naman!" Ngayon pangalan ko na naman ang sinisigaw nila. I laughed.

"I volunteer!" I heard someone from Bernard's group.

"Ako, Leira! You can lick the salt wherever you want!" ang kaibigan ni Gio.

Dinig ko pa ang pagpalag ni Gio na natabunan din ng hiyawan. Body shots and all the club stuffs aren't new to me. Pero nang makita ko ang mata ni Greco sa'kin ay parang hindi ko iyon kayang gawin ngayon. Para bang baguhan ako at nahihiya pa. Who could blame me? Iyon kasing titig niya parang tingin ng isang jail guard sa isang presong may masamang balak!

"Body shot! Body shot!"

Tumawa ako at umiling. "Marami na akong nainom, e! Next time!"

"Come on, Leira! Minsan lang tayo magkita kita tapos hindi ka pa magpaparticipate! Huwag kang KJ, please!"

"Oo nga, Leira! Go!" si Nikki na tatawa-tawa at namumula na sa kalasingan.

Inagaw ko ang shot na hawak niya at nilapag sa mesa. I doubt if she would even make it to her room alone after this. Parang kaunti na lang at magco-collapse na siya.

"Come on, Leira! Ikaw ang pambato namin sa mga ganito!"

Dahil sa pressure ay hindi na ako nakatanggi. Kinuha ko ang shot at lumapit kay Kyle, isa sa kaibigan ni Bernard. Their cheer boomed. It was louder than the music.

"Where do you want it?" I asked Kyle and got some salt.

Ngumisi si Kyle at tumingala. Lalo kaming napuno ng kantyaw nang ituro niya ang lalamunan. Sa gilid ng mata ay tanaw ko ang titig ni Greco. He won't be offended of this, right? Wala naman sa rules ng hook ups na bawal makipagbody shot kaya okay lang ito.

I put the salt on Kyle's throat. Ilang beses ko na itong nagawa kaya hindi na ako naiilang. Kyle held my waist when I crouched to lick the salt on his throat. Mabilis kong nilagok ang matapang na shot pagkatapos.

"Paniguradong hindi 'yan makakatulog si Kyle ngayong gabi!"

"Ano, Kyle? Naiinitan ka?"

Nagtawanan kami sa kantyaw ng mga kaibigan niya. I went back to my seat. Saglit na pumikit dahil medyo nahilo. Ilan na ba ang shot na nainom ko? Ten? Eleven? Damn, I lost count.

Sumandal ako sa sofa at dumilat. Kumuha ako ng tubig at lumagok doon. Pansin ko ang titig ni Greco kaya tiningnan ko siya. His brow shot up, as if pissed of something.

Nawala lang ang tingin ko sa kanya nang nagpaalam sina Dianne at Adam. Pinaalala rin nila na may shoot pa bukas at kailangan naming gumising ng maaga. Kaya naman tumigil na ako sa pagtanggap ng shot dahil tipsy na ako at ayaw kong malasing talaga. Hangover isn't good.

Nagpaalam na rin si Greco na mukhang kanina pa gustong umalis doon at nakikisama lang dahil kay Adam. May iilan pang babae na pinigilan siya. His words were polite when he declined, but he still sounded cold. Sumunod sa kanya ang dalawang kaibigan.

"Lasing ka na, Nikki!" saway ko nang makitang kumuha na naman ito sa bagong hatid na isang tray ng shots.

"Hindi pa kaya!"

"Come on, Nikki! Antok na ako at babalik na ako sa suite. You'll just stay here?" patuloy ko sa gitna ng ingay ng mga kasama.

She only laughed. I shook my head. Sinabi ko kina Bernard na mauuna na kami dahil lasing na si Nikki at tipsy na ako. Gio offered to send us to our rooms, pero sinabi kong huwag na dahil kaya pa naming maglakad.

"Enjoy the night, guys!" sabi ko bago hinatak si Nikki palabas ng bar.

"Shit, Leira. Bakit mo naman ako hinatak? Halos mapugto ang strap ng dress ko, o!" si Nikki na tumatawa pa rin.

"At ikaw ha, akala mo hindi ko nakita 'yong halikan ninyo ni Greco sa dancefloor. Ano 'yon? Pumayag na?"

Halos mabangga niya iyong staff sa lobby ng hotel dahil sa pagewang gewang niyang lakad. Ako na lang humingi ng dispensa.

"Ayusin mo ang lakad mo, Nikolanda!" I said and pulled her to the elevator.

"Ano'ng Nikolanda? Don't call me that! Ang bantot pakinggan!"

Humilig ako sa likod at pumikit. My head was throbbing a bit, kaya hinilot ko ang sentido.

Dumilat lang ako nang tumunog na ang elevator. Bumukas iyon at napakurap ako nang sumalubong sa akin ang mata ni Greco. Nasa katapat na elevator siya na kakabukas lang din. He's alone. Siguro sa mas mababang floor sina Carver at Lenz.

Nikki was half asleep when I pulled her out. Siguro sa kalasingan ay hindi na niya napansin si Greco. Hinatak ko siya patungo sa room niya at binuksan iyon gamit ang kanyang keycard.

"Ang sarap mo talagang humalik, Jameson!" she said with her eyes closed, as I tucked her on the bed. Napailing-iling ako.

I sighed and went out. My eyes were half closed, pero nang makita kung sino ang nakatayo sa labas, napadilat ako ng maayos.

"Where's your room?" he asked.

Nagulat ako. What? Are we gonna do it now?

"Let's talk about our arrangement."

Oh! Okay!

Tumango ako at naunang naglakad. Hinanda ko ang keycard. He stalked me.

We were both silent when we entered my suite. Binuksan ko ang ilaw at iminuwestra sa kanya ang sofa.

"Still sober?" tanong niya.

I smirked and sat across him. "Mukha ba akong lasing?"

"I thought you're already drunk. You casually kiss any man like that, huh?"

Nanliit ang mata ko. "Wait. Is this about the body shot?" That's not even a kiss!

"We should have rules in our arrangement."

Pinagkrus ko ang binti at pinasadahan ng daliri ang buhok. "Of course, we should."

"No kissing other men," mataman niyang sinabi, mapang-akusa ang tingin.

"Hmm. Bakit? Magseselos ka?" tudyo ko.

The corner of his lips rose like what I said was very ridiculous. I know that. Inaasar ko lang naman siya. He's just too stoic, na para bang walang puwang ang joke sa buhay niya.

"If you're my fuck buddy, that means your body is only exclusive for me. I'm sure you know that basic rule in hook ups?"

"Siyempre alam ko 'yan. I won't fuck or kiss other men, alright. You should do that too."

"I will," agap niya.

"Kung ganoon, nagkakaintindihan na tayo sa part na 'yan. So now, let's make it clear what our arrangement entails."

"Go on." Itinukod niya ang dalawang siko sa magkaparteng tuhod at pinagsiklop ang kamay. He rested his chin above it as he gave his full attention to me.

I nodded and recalled everything I learned about hook ups. Totoong first time ko sa ganito, but this isn't new to me. Gawain ito ng mga kaibigan ko kaya masasabi kong marami akong alam.

"We have boundaries that we shouldn't cross. Una, hindi tayo puwedeng manghimasok sa personal life ng isa't isa."

"I want that," aniya.

"I don't want a controlling and possessive hook up. I hate men like that."

"That's fine. I also don't want a possessive woman."

I smirked. Talagang siya ang perfect para rito. This coldblooded man won't be a problem at all. Magkakasundo kami.

"About the schedule, I'll text you or you'll text me beforehand para mapag-usapan natin kung kailan natin gusto, then we'll schedule it. It depends kung kailan tayo libre. You won't demand me, and I won't do that too. It should be a mutual decision."

"What about I am free for that night and I want you, but you're not free?"

"We'll do something about it. Reschedule. We have personal affairs, after all." I smirked at myself. I sounded like a damn pro.

"Okay. Are you taking pills?"

Of course, he won't let that detail slip. Just like me, he doesn't want the burden of commitment, let alone a sudden responsibility.

"No. I just got a depo shot recently. It's effect is good for three months." Pinagplanuhan ko na ang balak kong 'to kaya inuna ko 'yon. It's better to take preventive measures than sorry.

"Paano kung magsawa na ako?" Tinagilid niya ang ulo, his thumb grazed on his jaw.

"Then you say you want to stop it. I'm easy to deal with. Kahit sino sa atin na gusto ng kumalas, then we are free to walk out from the arrangement," nakangiti kong sinabi.

"Alright. It's better to be clear."

"I have one last rule," I told him seriously.

"Go on."

"Don't fall in love with me."

Tumaas ang kilay niya. Hindi ko mabasa ang iniisip dahil malamig ang ekspresiyon.

"We won't have a problem with that. I may be attracted to you physically but that's it. You are clearly not the type I would consider for that level, so it's impossible to fall in love with you."

Umangat ang sulok ng labi ko.

"That's good. I also want nothing from you but sexual relationship. Ayokong magkaproblema kalaunan."

"We both want that," aniya.

"How cold," I laughed. "But I want it more that way, though. So, it's a deal?"

"Deal," he said without tearing his gaze off me.