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Behind A Smile 011
Flashback begins Miserable and exhausted after trying to convince her dad, but to no avail, Zynah ran into her room and began to cry her eyes out — she just wanted to be happy. Why was her dad so against the man she had chosen? Did he not want her to be happy? — she couldn't help, but have these thoughts. Entering into the room, Ramlah felt so bad, seeing the condition her sister was in. She also did not see anything bad in Bilal, she had made her stance clear to Zynah. Why did their father despise the idea of him so much then? Shaking her head in an attempt to get rid of the thought from her head, she rushed towards her sister and started rubbing her back soothingly. "Everything will be fine, ya Zynah. Trust Allah to make everything right again." "Nothing will be alright, Ramlah." She sniffled a sob. "Dad will never accept him. He told me so himself." Ramlah's heart plummeted as she gazed at her sister. Deep within her, she also knew that it would be almost impossible fo
Behind A Smile 012
Due to the call to prayer, Zynah broke out of her trance. She wiped a lone tear from her eye and swallowed a lump in her throat. She was tired of living like an outcast in a house that was supposed to be her home. The regret of the decision she made years ago was eating her up. Momentarily, she contemplated on leaving the house and going very far away from all of her worries and problems - away from her marriage. Away from her monster of a husband, Bilal, but the big question was; would she be able to succeed? Ambling to the bathroom, she performed wudhu (ablution) and emerged afterwards. She spread the prayer mat by the corner of the room and began to pray to the creator of the universe. Like always, she cried in sujood (prostration) and pleaded with Allah, the most merciful and compassionate to make a way for her. A way out of her sham of a marriage. She wanted to be strong - she really tried, but her courage and patience had been exceeded. She couldn't fight any longer. She was
Behind A Smile 013
"Hey!" Nazmeera called, making her jump a little. Not bothering to turn around, Zynah totally snubbed her. "My room is a mess." She said. The urge to give her a befitting reply was insurmountable. For that one time, Zynah didn't want to be silent. She wanted to make it clear to Nazmeera that she wasn't her slave. "So what?" she retorted, finally turning to face her. She chuckled humorlessly. "So... You have to go in there and tidy it up." "Why should I?" Zynah asked, standing daringly in front of her. "It's your business. Take care of it!' "Because," she scoffed. "That's what you're here for. Don't you dare act smart with me." Realizing that she was only wasting her time talking to Nazmeera, Zynah turned back to what she was doing before Nazmeera interrupted. "Did you just snub me?" She squeaked; her voice laced with disbelief. Silence. "I'm talking to you." She boomed, exasperated. Silence. All of a sudden, Zynah felt Nazmeera's hand on her shoulder,
Behind A Smile 014
"What! Me?" Nazmeera's demeanor contorted in astonishment. "She did this to you?" Bilal asked in a soft, yet profound voice. Zynah nodded. Deep within, she was scared of what his reaction would be. If he ended up believing her, it would be a miracle on his side and if he did not believe her, she wouldn't even be surprised. Her expectations were zero. Glaring menacingly at Nazmeera, he questioned; "is this true?" "Of course not!" She was quick to deny. "She's accusing me and you know it. How can I possibly do this to her? She doesn't like me and I'm sure this is her way of getting back at me for what happened the last time and you..." She trialed off, a calculated sob escaping her lips. "... Don't tell me you actually believe this liar over your own biological sister." Bilal remained silent, his gaze flickering between Zynah and Nazmeera, seemingly searching for the truth in their eyes. It was as if he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. "Your silence says it a
Behind A Smile 015
"I hope you still remember what we talked about yesterday?" Bilal asked casually as they drove home after Zynah's discharge from the hospital. A curt "Yes" escaped her lips as she turned to stare out of the window. The cool air washing over her face made her lips curve into a smile. Just a little longer. Then, freedom. She couldn't wait for them to get to the house to execute her plan. The mere thought of having to live with him for a second longer was unbearable. A life without Bilal in it seemed promising. She couldn't wait to have her former life back. For a fact, she knew her parents, especially her dad would find it almost impossible to forgive her, but she was ready — more than prepared to face them and beg, till they eventually accept her back into their lives and forgive her for not realizing it sooner that their decision was the right one. Tears instantly prickled her eyes. In a way, she felt she deserved all that she got, but she had reached her breaking point. Hasn't she
Behind A Smile 016
Ferociously, Zynah opened the small drawer in the bathroom and fumbled around for a pregnancy test strip. The first time she suspected she was pregnant, she had bought the test strips in bulk, so she believed she would be able to find an extra one and fortunately for her, she did. Without wasting a second more, she peed on it and the next few minutes felt like forever. Time seemed to be moving slow. Too slow for her liking. Her heart thumped painfully in her chest as she awaited the result. Her breathing labored and her eyes, tightly shut. It was over ten minutes, yet Zynah couldn't bring herself to take a look at the result. She was afraid of finding out she was pregnant. She was about to start anew, but if she was pregnant, she would never truly be able to forget Bilal, because the child would be a connection and she wanted to sever all connections and ties with him. Mustering all of the courage in her, she decided to take a look at the result now. A small part of her mind wa
Behind A Smile 017
Climbing into Khadijah's car, a wave of exhaustion crashed over Zynah. She couldn't help, but wonder if this was truly the freedom she yearned for? Was she finally going to be happy away from Bilal while a part of him was growing in her stomach? Indubitably, the child would always remind her of him no matter how hard she wanted to forget every single thing that had to do with him. Fresh tears welled up in her eyes at the thoughts. Zynah felt Khadijah's gaze on her, followed by a reassuring hand on hers. No words spoken, but a message was conveyed. Zynah nodded. "I will be alright." "Where should I take drop you off?" "At the garage," Zynah responded. "I will find my way home." Khadijah's lips curved into a sad smile. "I would have taken you all the way to your destination, but unfortunately, my husband didn't allow it. I'm really sorry, Zynah. This is all I can do for you." "What do you mean sorry? You don't have to be," Zynah smiled reassuringly at her. "You've done a lot
Behind A Smile 018
Zynah's heart suddenly began to beat faster, if that was even possible. She fidgeted with her fingers as she waited for her to approach. Due to extreme nervousness, she turned her back on the gate immediately she heard the footstep getting louder, and finally, the cracking sound of an opening door. "Who are you?..." She suddenly trailed off and tears instantly welled up I'm her eyes as a flicker of recognition dawned on her. "Zy...Zynah!" She exclaimed.Not able to suppress her feelings anymore, Zynah broke down. Her entire body trembled aggressively as she cried. The mere presence of her mother, Hafsa crumbled all the composure she had been building — the same woman who used to be her strength, her confidant, her courage...but overnight, she lost all of that strength, traded it for a love that turned out to be nothing but a cruel illusion. Turning around, Zynah finally got the chance to see her mother's face - the first face she had ever known, now etched with worry lines that had
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