Beauty Without Thorns

“Lalaki ang iyong anak, binibini!”

Mariin akong nakapikit, pakiramdam ko’y mahihimatay na ako ilang segundo na lamang dahil sa panghihina. Hinihingal at pilit na nilalabanan ang sakit na nararamdaman mula sa ibabang bahagi ng katawan. Hindi pwedeng magpadala ako sa haplos ng hapdi at bulong ng pananamlay. Kung hindi lang dahil sa iyak ng aking anak ay baka kanina pa akong nahimatay, ito ang humihila sa akin pabalik sa katinuan.

“Hindi nga ako nagkakamali. N-Nakuha niya ang dugo ng kaniyang ama!”

For a moment, shock engulfed my entire system before I mustered up the strength to get up. I bit my lower lip to stifle my scream of pain as I try to confirm it myself. Sandaling nanatili ang tingin ko kay Camella, ang siyang tumanggap at nagpa-anak sa akin sa kaniyang kubo. Nakangiti siyang nakatitig sa anak ko at naging pula na ang kulay ng kaniyang mga mata. Bumaling siya sa akin at mas umangat ang sulok ng labi, nasisiyahan sa kaniyang nasaksihan.

“Lumabas na agad ang kaniyang pangil at kulay ng mga mata. Kailangan mo siyang painumin ng dugo bago pa siya manghina at mawalan ng malay, binibini.”

“D-Dugo?” 

She nodded. “Para sa bagong silang sa uri namin ay kinakailangang maagapan ang uhaw at gutom niya upang manumbalik ang lakas, kung hindi ay maaari siyang bawian ng buhay.”

Lumipat ang paningin ko sa aking anak na patuloy ang pag-iyak, namumula ang katawan dahil sa dugo ko ngunit namumutla naman ang buong mukha na siyang patunay sa sinasabi ni Camella. Lumunok ako at dahan-dahang inilahad ang aking braso upang mahawakan siya, malugod naman niyang ipinasa siya sa akin at inalalayan ako sa paghawak.

I carefully carried my son in my arms while holding back my woven emotions when I finally had the chance to stare at his face fully. Hindi nga nagkakamali si Camella, kaniya ngang nakuha ang dugo ng kaniyang ama. Hindi ko napigilan ang mapaluha at marahang hinaplos ang kaniyang pisngi. 

“Mas mabuti kung dugo mo ang iyong ibibigay upang mabilis niyang makilala,” dagdag pa ni Camella. Napatingin ako sa kaniya noong bigla siyang maglahad ng patalim. “Sugatan mo ang iyong sarili at ipatak mo sa kaniyang bibig ang dugo para mainom niya. Humihina na ang kaniyang puso sa aking pandinig kaya’t bilisan mo, binibini.”

I leaned closer to look at my son thoroughly and noticed that he was getting even paler, and his call for salvation is slowly growing weaker by the second. Without wavering, I injured my hand with her knife and my blood flowed quickly from the wound I inflicted. Maingat kong ibinuka ang kaniyang bibig at ipinatak doon ang aking dugo. My son mumbled his cries and started licking the blood with hunger and persuasion. I firmly clutched my hand once more to feed him further even though I was already growing weak from the exhaustion and pain I was feeling. Natigilan lamang ako nang mapansin ang pananahimik ni Camella, dahilan kung bakit napatingin muli ako sa kaniya.

Lumiliwanag ang pula niyang mga mata habang nakatitig sa aking nakakuyom na kamay kung nasaan ang sugat. Her fangs were sticking out and her nose twitched in pursuit to smell my blood. Napakislot ako sa gulat at maingat na yinapos ang anak noong bigla siyang mag-angat ng tingin sa akin!

“Ang iyong dugo ay may kakaibang amoy, binibini,” wika niya at itinagilid pa ang ulo habang matalim na nakatingin sa akin. “Kanina ay napapansin ko na ito ngunit inuna ko lamang ang kapakanan ng iyong anak. Subalit ngayong naamoy ko na muli ito mula sa sariwa mong sugat, nakasisiguro akong hindi ka rin isang ordinaryong tao.”

“C-Camella, kumalma ka—”

I gasped in shock when she quickly stood up, seized my injured hand, and promptly licked it in lust! Nanlaki ang kaniyang mga mata at gulat na tumingin sa akin noong tuluyan nang natikman ang dugo ko. Mabilis ko namang binawi ang aking kamay at itinago ‘to mula sa kaniya. Masakit pa man ang ibabang parte ng aking katawan dahil sa panganganak ay pinilit ko pa rin ang sariling umurong palayo sa takot na mawalan siya ng kontrol.

“Hindi ako nagkakamali! May dugo kang—”

“Ca-Camella, huminahon ka, p-pakiusap…” I weakly pleaded as I cry in terror. Mas tumitindi ang lilim ng kulay ng kaniyang mga mata at alam kong unti-unti na siyang nadadala sa pakiramdam ng gutom at pananabik. 

Tumawa siya at tumayo na sa upuan. Muli akong napaurong palayo noong magsimula na siyang maglakad papalapit sa akin, may banta ang bawat hakbang.

“Binibini, ang iyong dugo ay espesyal. Nais ko sanang humingi at tumikim muli, sa paraan lamang na iyon ako kakalma.”

Yinapos ko ang anak ko. Sa isip ko ay pinapagalitan ko na ang sarili dahil hindi nag-ingat at kinalimutang bampira nga rin pala si Camella, hindi dapat ako nagtiwala agad!

“Aling elemento ang iyong napapasunod, binibini?” Tumagilid ang kaniyang ulo at malapad na ngumisi. “Ako ay namamangha sa aking nalaman. Ngayon tuloy ay napapaisip ako kung namana rin ba ng anak mo ang dugo mong anie—”

“W-Wag kang lalapit, C-Camella. P-Please…” I begged once more.

The blood-red ache from her eyes settled still, fueling the already intruding strain caused by the intense ecstasy and eruptive anticipation of her lineage. Just as when she was about to strike, I hastily gestured my hand in the air and the windows of her hut then exploded due to the impact of the water entering inside, instantly holding her as captive. At the same time, my wings came out and I slowly lifted myself off the bed, warily hugging my son to secure his safety.

“Isa ka ngang aniela!” she said in astonishment, unable to move because of my mage that is wrapped around her.

Dahil sa panghihina ay bumagsak ako sa sahig at hindi kinaya ang balak na paglipad, lalo na’t isinasagad ko ang aking lakas sa pagkontrol ng tubig upang hindi makatakas si Camella at atakihin kami. 

Umungot at umiyak ako sa sakit noong sinubukan kong tumayo at saka iika-ikang naglakad na palabas ng kubo niya. Ibinalot ko sa kumot ang aking anak upang hindi siya malamigan noong tuluyan na kaming nakalabas sa kaniyang tahanan. I roamed my eyes around the forest, trying to remember the path that I had walked earlier when I ran here to escape from this place. Kilala ko man si Camella at minsan na siyang napalapit sa akin, ang kaniyang katauhan ngayon ay hindi ko mapagkakatiwalaan. Lalo na’t nalaman niya ang dugong nananalaytay sa akin!

“P-Please, tahan na, hmm? Mama’s here… Shh…” 

We have been wandering around the forest for a few minutes now to escape, but I am sure that Camella can find us immediately once my mage exudes from my control to confine her. I wiped away my tears and waved my hand once more, summoning thin lines of water that quickly went up to my legs. I stooped in pain and suppressed my scream as my mage invades my body to heal my open wounds. I can feel it flowing inside me as it also gradually regenerates my cuts, causing me to feel more vulnerable even though I try to resist the knead of torture.

“Rouze!”

I heaved and instantly looked ahead of me when I heard the familiar voice calling. Intently looking straight at me was Saint with his eyes widened in friction, signifying his surprise for my current situation. His eyes then wandered lower and halted on the baby I was carrying, embraced with the same quilt I used while being in labor as to why it was also covered with blood. 

Sunod-sunod na pumatak ang aking mga luha dahil sa pag-asang biglang naramdaman dahil nahanap ako ng aking pinsan. I shoved my hand and drained all the water to stop its healing spell so I could finally stand up. Unti-unti na siyang naglakad palapit, hindi maalis ang tingin sa sanggol na nasa bisig ko.

“Rouze…” he uttered in disbelief as he studies my son’s features up close. Napasinghap siya noong makita ang kulay ng kaniyang mga mata at ang pangil na may bakas pa ng dugo kong ininom niya kanina. Tuluyan nang natulala ang pinsan ko at hindi makapaniwalang tinitigan ang aking anak.

“He t-took after his father,” I answered his unsaid question.

Sunod-sunod siyang umiling at kunot-noong tumingin sa akin. He palmed his face and groaned in pressure, completely astounded from what he just discovered.

“Your father will not approve of this!” 

“I can c-convince him,” I blurted and Saint only threw me a sharp look, unimpressed by my proposal. He screwed up his face as he tries not to scold me. “He is still his grandchild.”

“But he’s a vampire, for Seraphine’s sake! Rouze, nag-iisip ka pa ba?!” A vein popped out in his neck in strain, unable to hold himself any longer. Nagbaba ako ng tingin at munting humikbi. I heard him cursed underneath his breath before he added, “May dugo siyang drugo! Alam mo namang labag ito sa batas natin!”

“I can shelter my child if he won’t accept us, Saint. Or we can run away and live somewhere else—”

“Hindi pwede!” agad niyang pagtutol. “Matagal ka nang hinihintay sa Leda, Rouze! Nangako ka na at alam mong hindi ka na pwedeng tumanggi sa naging kasunduan!”

“Ang anak ko ang itinataya mo rito, Saint!” I said emotionally. “Wala na akong pakialam, ang kaligtasan lamang niya ang tanging prayoridad ko!”

Saint groaned and palmed his face in frustration. He had to take a couple of deep breaths before he glanced at my son again to study him. The side of my lips curved for a faint smile because I saw the glimpse of admiration that overtook his flare of emotion. Although, when he noticed my smile, he groused and instantly averted his eyes away from his nephew. Realizing how he got distracted from his scolding session.  

He then asked, “Where is the father of your child?” 

I had to gulp that what seems to be a sudden lump in my throat when I heard his question. I bit my lower lip when I felt that familiar twinge in my chest just by merely remembering that particular person. 

“In… Arrazola,” I drawled.

“Sino, Rouze? At siya mismo ang papatayin ko dahil pinabayaan niya kayo rito!”

I let out a faltering smile and stared at my son’s face. He already stopped crying and calmed down, his little fingers grasping mine as he slowly drifted to a deep slumber. 

“Angelus Zedkiel…” 

Saint gasped hysterically, bewildered by the mention of his name. 

“What have you done, Rouze Erelah?!”

I settled on staring at my son whose now sound asleep and neglected my cousin's laments. I knew that he was going to react that way. Perhaps, it’s really inconceivable to perceive that my son’s father is the one with the highest rank of all.

“Rouze, you should’ve stopped this from happening!”

I have competed with Destiny’s call and ruined the Fates’ summon of peace to calm the chaos that emerged from the past. I have reconstructed history, the moment that I coated my skin with his touch and had his scent all over me. 

And I gave birth to a child, with the blood of a drugo and aniela. All because I have hoped that our fate can be changed from what is being perceived by destiny. 

“You have disobeyed and messed against Seraphine’s law!”

I have chosen to neglect my fate because it was an oppressive duty to comply with, weighing me down until the depths of my grief. I have chosen to hold his arms, a tight and gripping haven around me that no tragedy could ever undo the feeling of his flipping warmth that also soothes the rage between our blood lust and misfortunes. I have allowed every courteous touch and desiring grasps to mark my soul and formed my heart into a submissive devotion. 

I have harvested the rose, unconsciously overlooking its counterpart, getting my soul pricked by the swift contact.

Only to experience what seems to be the beauty without thorns… exclusively with him.