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Beautifully Unfinished 53
53M I R A N D A"Hey."Landon pops out of the bedroom again while he walks closer to the bed with his boxers on. "Good morning." He kisses my cheek sweetly and smiles at me.I glance at myself, on top of a bed with nothing on but Landon's bed sheet. It is now the following morning after Landon and I made love and every time I stare into his eyes, there’s this guilt that I have been after Hugo. I have never felt more disgusted of myself and I have never felt this angry at myself for even falling to Hugo’s temptation."You're quiet." Landon makes my thoughts vanished..I sigh heavily as I think about that sinful thing I did with Hugo three weeks ago and it has never left my head no matter how hard I try. I have been feeling totally guilty about it for the entire days and there is this constant heavy feeling inside my head and my chest that I cannot seem to get rid of that easily. I can't stop thinking about what I did behind Landon's back knowing how wonderful he has always treated me.
Beautifully Unfinished 53.5
53.5I gape in surprise as I hear him finally speaking. My tears are now falling over my cheeks because I know that I was not just hearing things. I am not just dreaming that I was hearing Ben's voice. Ben finally talked. He finally talked after almost two weeks of being silent. The therapy is helping Ben. My tears fall down my cheeks again, it's flooding my cheeks and I'm just too happy to hear him calling me mommy again."You... You just talked Ben." I cup his cheeks and he tries to smile."S-Surprise.” He says happily.“Oh Ben.” I sob as I cup his face.“I'm... I’m not.... Mad... At you." He tries to talk and even though he was having a hard time, I am still proud of him.I smile at what I just heard from Ben's mouth. I kiss his forehead and held my arms around my son. I couldn’t be more proud of him. I am too proud. He just talked. He just told me he's not mad.Ben is recovering.Ben is really recovering.Little by little he's already recovering and I can see that he's really tryi
Beautifully Unfinished 54
54M I R A N D A"I don't care if you don't love me anymore." He adds.My back is still facing him but both of us stopped right on top of the staircase. He is still behind me and I actually don’t want to see his face because I don’t want to give in to what he's saying because I have already given in to him before. I'm still having a hard time processing what he just said to me because now isn't the perfect time to tell me about this.Now isn't the perfect time for this.Why does he always say things so unexpectedly?Why does he always do things that always tempts me?It's so annoying because I'm not prepared all the time and it is so unfair how he can do this to me without even thinking about the fact that he is taken and about to get married."I don't care at all." He continues.I sigh heavily.I spin around and stare at Hugo."Stop this Hugo." I tell him.He stares at me."Please." I beg him as I keep my thoughts together. "Don't mess up with what I have with Landon. What we did beh
Beautifully Unfinished 55
55M I R A N D AHUGO: Hey. I'm leaving for London in a bit, I just wanted to check that the tux I bought for Ben fit him?I stare at his message for a while before I finally decided to put my book down as I gaze at the clock, it was already midnight.I know Hugo's already on his way back to London and I could tell that he has been avoiding the fact that he needs to confront me after finding out that I am pregnant. He has not talked to me about my baby with Landon after he found out about it last night and I do not think that I am ready to even confront him about it too.It was a good thing for me because I don’t know what kind of conversation we would be having and I am not ready to even talk to him. Also, I am utterly confused who would be the father to this child I am carrying.I cannot ruin Hugo’s wedding which is happening in four days and even though it seems too close, there is still a part of me that wishes for it not to happen.Selfish. That word creeps into my head again and
Beautifully Unfinished 55.5
55.5At least Ben can feel a love from a father by Landon's presence and Hugo too.Everything is set for tomorrow. My gown, heels, hair and make up artist are all ready and set. Ben's little tuxedo is ready too. Landon's suit and tie is ready as well. Everything is ready…except for me.I'm not ready.I'm not ready to see and to hear Hugo saying his I Do.I'm not ready for Audrey to become Mrs. Saintclare.I'm not ready.The following morning, while my make up artist is busy putting make up on my face and my hairstylist is busy doing my hair, I am trying to tell myself that I can get through this day without even feeling anything at all.You are not going to feel sad or jealous.You should not be.I stare at myself in front of the mirror once the make up artist told me that I was done. I look pretty and ready for the event. I look happy as I try to smile but I'm dying inside and I should not be.I exhale heavily.I know this is wrong to feel this way because it is absolutely unfair fo
Beautifully Unfinished 56
56M I R A N D A"Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Audrey and Hugo in marriage. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife." The priest begins to say.Husband and wife.Those three simple words that came out from the priest's mouth felt like bulldozers of slingshots that hit me pretty damn hard straight to the face.This is really happening.The entire time, I am silent on my seat so as the rest of the entire people here but I wasn't actually listening to the priest. I am silent because I don't want to be here. I don't wanna attend this wedding. I don't wanna see Hugo getting married to this woman who I loathe to death.Envy, there is so much envy deep inside me and these negative emotions are utterly wrong. This should not be growing inside me because in the first place I should not be feeling
Beautifully Unfinished 56.5
56.5H U G OI want Rose to stop this wedding but I know she won't do it."Do you Hugo Edward Saintclare take Maria Audriana Chamberlain to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?" The priest asks for the third time.I exhale heavily.What's wrong with you, Saintclare? I scold myself.I've practiced this. I've thought about this thoroughly these past few days. I've decided on my answer and I was so sure about it. I'm so sure of my I Do. I know I was going to say it today. I even practiced saying it in front of the mirror every night or when I'm at the office. I was so sure about this last night. I was so sure that I was going to say it for my upcoming baby with Audrey because I know Rose won't be here. I thought I could do it but why do I feel like backing-out right now?It's just two words. Now say it. I scolded myself.I
Beautifully Unfinished 57
57M I R A N D AWhy did he do this?Why does he want to dance with me?Why does he do unexpected things without even owning up to his actions?Hugo always do things that surprises me. Hugo always say words that I never expect him to say or questions that I never expect him to ask. But at the end of the day, he does not even choose me.I hate this and I'm on the verge of choosing to dance with him or not.I want to. Of course.But a part of me doesn't because in the middle of the dance, we're going to talk for sure. And, Landon is here. I don't want him to think of something else.I don't want to talk to Hugo. There's nothing left to talk about anyways. What's there left to talk about? Is he gonna explain? Explain what? There is so much more important things to worry about and this should not be on top of that list.I should not let Hugo affect me. It's so easy to say but it's so hard to do.And I know I have no choice because we're already standing on the center of the dance floor jo
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