25BENEDICTI see them laughing together on that couch and obviously busy talking about something. I just hope Bethany isn't talking things about me to Thea. They had the television on but they weren't watching it instead they were too busy talking and laughing to each other. I wonder what they're talking about. Of all the women that I brought home whenever Bethany is around, Thea is the only one I'm confident of introducing to her. And I was right, they would get along.I turn my back to them for a while and got busy stirring this soup that I'm making. I have the pasta on the other pan which was already boiling up and the sauce for it is ready too. I take the strainer and placed it over the sink as I poured the cooked linguine over it. As soon as the hot water fully dripped, I grabbed it out and placed some evenly amountful over each three plates.I grabbed the bowl of chili sauce and placed some paste over the linguine. There were cooked sliced onion, slices mushroom, pepper and che
26I moan against his lips.I know I should push him away from me but his body is pressed hard against mine and my tongue is busy with his tongue. He was a damn great kisser and no doubt women would line up for him. My mind was scattered elsewhere and I was letting his hands hold on to my waist. My arms slowly wrapped around his neck and I was getting lost with our kiss. His lips knows too well how to invade my mouth.He is such an amazing kisser. His kiss doesn't want me to pull away from him. His kiss makes me feel lost. He puts me in a good mood. His kisses felt like it was his profession, he was so damn fucking great at kissing.He breathes heavily as he brushed his lips on mine and was about to dive in to kiss me for more. Now I felt his hands going up to my upper ribs but I push him away from my body before this will lead to something else more than this."Stop..." I muffled.I glued my eyes on his neck and didn't want to look at him after the blissful and super intense kiss tha
27THEAThree years ago...I was riding inside a limousine to drive me to where Mr. Skarsgard was. Another customer. He is a VERY wealthy swedish man who contacted Skye a week ago. He said that he wanted a sexy woman to be with while he was staying here in London and since he was far from his wife, no one will know what he will be doing here.I was one of the best and most requested stripper and private escorts that Skye has. I was number one. Whenever he has new wealthy clients, like Mr. Skarsgard, I'm the one he calls for the job.When I reached the hotel, I fixed my skimpy dress and grabbed my small purse with me. I wore my Louboutin heels that my customer from last week had bought, he was another wealthy man who was crazy about me.I entered the lobby and as soon as I walked in, all men had their eyes on me. I bet they were either wondering if I was a prostitute, escort or a pornstar. I was always used to being looked at that way, men always loves to look at a woman who looks hot
28BENEDICTPRESENT TIME...It has been two weeks since the kiss and I haven't tried to do anything to contact her.She pushed me away so hard, I didnt know what to do. Nobody has pushed me away like what she did and I was completely utterly speechless. I have never been lost for words, ever, and I have never chased a woman before like how I chased her under the rain. She always makes me do things I have never done in my entire life and I hate myself for that. I hate it when I try to do things for her and I hate myself for doing everything just to make her stay with me.You're a complete fool Saintclare. Success isn't your middle name anymore, you better change that to Benedict Fool Saintclare. You are being so pathetic over one girl who pushed you away like that.But no matter how hard I try to remind and scold myself not to do things related to Thea, I always always end up doing things related to Thea. I don't know what she did to me but she has been inside my head ever since and th
29THEAHe walks inside my house and I closed the door for him right away. He was still bringing that basket on his right hand and I pity him for what he passed through before reaching here."You could've called or texted me that you were coming over. I could've told you which one was my apartment." I tell him as I walk to the couch.He stands there alone, still with the basket on his hand. He wasn't looking at my home but instead on my face. God he gets more and more handsome when I don't see him for weeks. Is that even possible? I didn't it could be. Maybe I just REALLY miss seeing his face."I thought you wouldn't want that so I didn't bother." He answers.I couldn't tell if he was being cold, awkward or shy around me. But I was sure that he is avoiding my gaze. Why? I'm only having fever, not sore eyes. Even sore eyes' means of commucation isn't through looking at someone else's eyes.I walked up to him and stared at the basket from his hand. "What's that for?""For you. Fruits he
30THEAThree years ago...Is it wrong to fall in love?Wait. No, my thoughts doesn't really only revolve on that simple question since my life is as complicated as a puzzle that's hard to solve.My question is more like.....Is it wrong to fall in love with a thirty-four year old man who has three sons from his previous failed marriage while you're still seventeen who works as a stripper and a private escort?Seventeen years of age gap.It sounds more complicated whenever I think about what has been going on with my life lately.After that night with Mr. Skarsgard, I was planning on not seeing him anymore because he was different among the rest and it scared me. He drove me home so he knew where I live. After we had sex, we showered together and we talked on my way home. He asked me what club I worked for so I answered him the place. He asked me if it was okay that he will visit and probably watch what I do and I said yes he can. I even told him he could meet and see new women from t
31BENEDICTPRESENT TIME...I have done so many things for her and I am eating this meal that doesn't even taste that great. It's like I'm eating tasteless foods but I'm still eating it. I usually scold people who serves me foods that taste as ridiculous as this but I'm enjoying it. I usually get mad because I find this disrespectful, yet I am eating it what Thea cooked for me. I just can't believe that she makes me do things like these that I don't even want to do and things that I haven't even done before.All I thought about was to make sure she was okay and that she wasn't feeling to hot because of her fever. To be honest, I worried about her right when that security guard told me rhat Thea wasn't feeling okay. All of a sudden I felt worried for someone from the opposite sex and I only have that kind of feeling towards my mother and my siblings. But that moment, all I ever thought was to come rushing here and buy her foods or fruits or anything that would help her.I know she does
32THEASEBASTIAN: I'm not giving up not unless you say yes to me :) please have dinner with me this 7?I sigh.I've been staring at his text ever since I received it two hours ago. He asked me to go have dinner with him and promised that it will be safe this time. No entering a closed company but just two people having dinner. I don't need to worry when I'm with him but he's friends with Benedict and I'm afraid that he will see me with Sebastian. I don't want him to think other stuff.It's only an hour left and my shift is finished. Only three days left before the new issue of Lure Mag will be out on Monday. I have so many things to look forward to and I have been trying to keep myself busy after a week of what happened between me and Benedict inside my home but when I reach my apartment all I see is the scene of how I pushed him out of my apartment.My phone vibrates again inside my pocket and of course it was Sebastian.SEBASTIAN: I'm picking you up after work? Please please have d
87 T H E A Sebastian committed suicide. He ended his own life with a gun in his head. No one even knew how he had a gun in the first place and no one had any idea he was going to do that. He was supposed to meet Ben and the others tomorrow for a reunion. He was supposed to live a new life after being sentenced in prison for seven years. He was supposed to live in a tropical place and start a new life for himself. He was supposed to live a life filled with dreams now that he is out in prison. Sebastian was supposed to live. I was supposed to forgive him. The autopsy report stated that it happened around twelve midnight which means just a few hours after he left our home. I have never felt so depressed in my entire life that I wasn't even able to tell him a lot of things that I wanted to say. I didnt know what I was exactly feeling, completely lost in my thoughts and emotions after Sebastian's passing. I knew that there was something wrong in his eyes when he talked to me becaus
86T H E A"How have you been?" He asks.Sebastian wore blue, white and light pink plaided top, a pair of faded jeans and a dirty white sneakers. He looked older than the last time I saw him and his hair has gotten longer too. He looked different, but those eyes still frightens me.Those merciless eyes.I couldn't stare at him longer and I had to look away from his gaze. I clear my throat, "I have been well." I answered."I'm really glad that you are." Sebastian tells me."Um, do you want to drink something Sebastian? Tea?" Ben offers.I quickly held his wrist, stopping him from leaving me alone in here and stared into his eyes as I said to him. "Please don't leave me here."Ben stares intently at me before he turns to Sebastian who speaks, "You dont really have to offer me anything."I bite my inner cheek and breathe in some confidence before I faced Sebastian. "What are you doing here?"Sebastian stares at me eagerly."What do you want?" I asked firmly."I came here to see if you ha
85T H E AI couldn't sleep the entire night as I was bothered about Sebastian's release happening in just a few hours.Thoughts were filling and piling inside my head one over the other and I don't know if this was going to let me sleep at all.So I slipped out of the bed where Ben was sleeping soundly and headed out of bedroom to get myself a glass of wine from downstairs. I hate myself when I turn to alcohol every time my thoughts are fogged up and fucked up. I hate when there are questions left unanswered and my solution is alcohol.I hated it.I hated it so much I hate myself too.I finished two glasses of wine and spent almost thirty minutes just sitting on a chair where I tried to drown and sort my troubled thoughts. I finally pulled myself up and headed back to my bedroom only until I saw Xavier heading out of his room, crying. I rushed to his side and wished that he wouldn't smell the stingy scent of alcohol from my breath."Xavier." I cooed. "What happened?""Mommy I had a n
84T H E A“Why didn’t you tell him?”Benedict's question still lingers in my mind.Why didn't I tell Sebastian back in the day?I have been asking myself that same question over and over again for the past couple of years. I used to tell myself that I wasn't ready and I know I wasn't ready. I lied to myself when I said I was ready to confess to him about our child but I was absentmindedly denying the fact that my mind was filled with so many thoughts as soon as I faced Sebastian.When I saw him, I was reminded of how he raped me mercilessly. When I saw him, I was reminded of how dirty of a woman I was. When I saw him, I was reminded of how I didn't want this baby to be born if only it hadn't been for Ben.Ben has always been my rock and my strength after everything that happened to me. All these years, he accepted me no matter what and I have been beyond blessed to have a man like that in my life.That kind of love and care he showed me is going to be something I didn't want to waste
83T H E AI stare at my own reflection in front of the mirror, I gained weight but I look different compared to the old me a few weeks ago. My eyes travelled down to my baby bump and as I turn to my side, I feel more anxiety building in the back of my head. I am not confident enough that I will be a good mother to this baby once it’s out when I know this baby came from a man who I trusted so much but just raped me. My bump is starting to show now and I know I have a lifelong responsibility waiting ahead of me. I just hope I will be responsible enough.I rub my hand over my small tummy then smiled at myself.“You will be fine.” I told my baby.Ben is here for me and for us. He always has. He made everything feel better. He made me better and happier without asking too much in return. He is a very selfless man and I owe him my life. My everything and all that I have left.I breathe out heavily and tucked my hair behind my ears as I stare at myself wearing this white dress and white ba
82B E N E D I C TShe stands by the balcony sliding door, staring at an empty space wearing my shirt and some pajamas. Standing here afar from Thea, looking at her, I can see and I can feel that her mind is full. It’s full of endless thoughts and worries. I wish I could take some from her restless bothered thoughts and I wish I could help her with what she is going through.Thea is strong but I don’t want her to have another breakdown. I hope I can share the pain and confusions she is going through right now. I wish, at least I could make her happy despite of what has happened lately.But I don’t know what to do as well.I am bothered too, restless, anxious, troubled and angry. I still have this growing hate in me and unwillingness to befriend Sebastian.I hate him.I walk towards Thea and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t budge but still sets her eyes out the window. “There are no stars tonight.” I say.She sighs heavily.“Aren’t you hungry sweetheart?” I ask.She didn’t answer
81B E N E D I C T“The CEO of Saintclare Enterprises , finally off the market!!”I read mentally the newspaper’s headlines as soon as I got into my office. I scan through the magazines which were also over my desk, and the headlines were also all about me.I sigh. “I knew this was gonna come out first thing in the morning.”The phone on top of my desk rings, I quickly picked it up, “Yes.”“Mr. Saintclare everyone is calling in for an interview with you. They’re all asking if you have any available time.” I can hear telephones ringing from my secretary’s background.“Cancel all interviews. Tell them I have a busy schedule up until next week.” I hung up.Suddenly the phone in my pocket rings. I stare at the screen and it was Mrs. Brown, my PR.I sigh as I answer, “I know what you’re going to say.”“It’s everywhere. My phone has been ringing since six o’clock this morning. I don’t know what to answer them.”“Did you say anything about Thea?”“No. Not unless you tell me to. I’m only wait
80BENEDICTI stare at Thea, and she has been looking out of the window for minutes now. I know she still has a lot of things in mind with what has happened lately and I’m sure she’s tired of thinking about it too. She has talked to Khaleel and I have had talked to him too. Despite her past, we wanted to keep it to ourselves than letting the others know about it. They wouldn’t understand what she went through to survive and it isn’t our story to tell.I have asked myself a couple of times why she had to choose such job but then I didn’t have the courage to ask her. I don’t want her to feel bad about herself and the more I ask about her past, the more she would think it bothers me.Honestly, it has been in the past and we all have had done crazy shit a thing or two. All of us deserves a second chance and women like Thea who strives hard to change herself to become a better woman deserves more than that. I am proud of her and she knows it.A smile creeps on her face as soon as I rubbed
79THEASometimes, in our lives there are instances when you just want to disappear because of awkward situations or embarrassing moments. And right now, that’s what I want to happen. I want to teleport to another place far from here.It feels like everything inside my system malfunctioned and brain feels dead. I have never felt more disgusted of myself and my past than how Sebastian is embarrassing me right now in front of Ben. No one has ever made me feel so little of myself, only Sebastian.This bastard. This one of a hell man. I wish he dies.My tears were just flowing from my closed eyes and I feel this growing pain against my chest. I try to breathe in but the pain grows as I exhale so I remained quiet. I don’t want to face anyone or see how they look at me with disgust and filth. I just want to disappear like one pop of a bubble or run out of this house and never look back.But I cant, I know I have to face them now. I have to face Khaleel. I have to face Benedict even if it’s