14Me, Thea Thibault, sitting on the passenger seat inside Mr. Benedict Styles' Hummer together with him in it.What was I feeling? I don't know. I couldn't explain a single bit of it. It's a mix of feeling nervous, scared, happy, anxious, and constipated. Yes, I feel like I'm having constipation and it seems like my hands are getting clammy and my armpits too!Just breathe Thea. You're just mentally having constipation, it's not true.The roads were packed with cars and we were slightly stuck in traffic for a bit. I wanted to ask him, if he even waited for me to leave the store or if was it just pure coincidence that he was still around. But then I think I swallowed my tongue because I couldn't speak to him. It was awkward, because he was helping me and it just feels so wrong because it's Benedict Styles.I kept glaring at him from the corner of my eyes as the car slowly begins to move now and he still looked intensely beautiful, even in the dark. His jaw clenched as he looked straig
15The house was really massive from the outside and as soon as I got inside, it got even bigger. His mansion wasn't just an ordinary mansion, probably fifty or a hundred more people could live here to party and the loan from the outside could cater totally more people than I imagine.The house's interior was a combination of modern and old-fashioned which suited Benedict's physique and taste. The furniture, the ceiling, the walls, and the designs totally looked ravishing. Really extraordinary. It's like it came from other countries, it got personally done for him and was sent here. There were colors of white, black, grey, and some neutral ones too as I walk further inside. It was a very elegant and rich home and it speaks through his personality based on everything around here. The house and interior itself speak rightfully to the owner, Benedict Styles.Clean, neat and elegant.Right near the living room was a very classy mini bar that wasn't really that small because it was a bit w
16"You have never been late before! And you know very well that I hate people getting late for work!"Her voice echoes through the room.Victoria yelled at me as soon as I stepped inside her office. It's one of her HATEST attitudes when it comes to her employees. Aside from being the perfectionist mean-ass grumpy boss, she is also very VERY against to being tardy and that was me this morning arriving at 8:45 AM when I was supposed to be here before 7:30 AM.Why I was late?Full story here:Benedict's home was far from my apartment and it was an embarrassment that he had to drive me all the way to my home. He insisted that we have breakfast before we leave and so we did that's why it took more time. When Benedict drove me home, I slept back because it was still 6:30 AM. I wanted to take a thirty-minute nap. But I was so wrong for doing it because when I woke up it was already eight. I didn't hear my alarm clock and I was already fucking late because I overslept. I took a shower and pr
17B E N E D I C TWhat are you even doing here Saintclare?Didn't you have a meeting an hour ago? Weren't you suppose to be there and not here? Why did you have to cancel it just to make a trip on coming over to this low-circulating magazine?This isn't you.But ever since Thea stepped inside my office with her slim body, and small, sweet blushing face, the look of an innocent pale beautiful rose had made me wonder, just briefly, if all her skin even the parts covered by her clothes is as flawless and as pinkish.Damn.I instantly stopped my alarming ungovernable thoughts right away when she walked inside my office that day heading closer to my desk. It was unnecessary because I was at work.What the hell are you thinking Benedict? This lady is way too young for you. I even warned myself about the age gap. I know she's probably twenty years old, five years younger than I do.When she came to the office wearing clothes with massive dirt, a frisson of annoyance runs through my body. I
18T HE AI placed my hand over heart as soon as Benedict stepped out of the elevator and left. For some reason, my heart was beating like crazy. I couldn't deny it, I was so surprised that he asked me out for lunch today and how he said he would always make time for me.C'mon even if I tell myself not to get swooned by him, I couldn't personally stop myself from feeling this way. My heart, my poor poor heart. I hope you are okay. Just hang in there, you'll beat normally again later on.But Benedict's always sending me mixed signals. Firstly, he would say something ridiculously sweet that knocks me off my feet but then right after it, he gives me reasons which is related to work.But then, that's good. It's good that he specifies everything that this is all for work. Him coming over here was for the article's details, him saving my ass from getting fried a while ago by Victoria because of the photo shoot because he wanted to help me out and him having lunch with me later because it's
19BENEDICTI stand out from my car as soon as I saw some employees coming out from the building. I look up to them, finding Thea but she wasn't around. I waited a little bit and saw a few more group of employees by three or four walking out, but no Thea Thibault.I lean against my car and glared at ny wristwatch before placing my hands inside my pocket. It's already 12:05, she didn't forget right? She clearly agreed to it a while ago. Wait, did she already leave and I just didn't notice it? It can't be possible, I have been here since a while ago. I didn't see her come out of tbe building."Mr. Saintcare?"I quickly pulled my head up only to find a group of three girls standing right around me, giggling. They were surrounding me but they weren't who I came here for. I would gladly like for them to leave but then I would be un-gentleman if I push them away. I study them, they had I.D's imprinted with the name Lure Mag on it hanging around their neck."Oh my god, it's really you." The
20BENEDICTI stare at him eagerly, he wore a white dress shirt, khaki pants and brown leather shoes. Some parts of his hair were white, and he was a very tall man and still looked fit, I think he works out a lot since his sleeves were too tight around that bulging biceps and he was probably in his early fifties. He was old, it wasn't too hard to tell. He tentatively looks at me then back at Thea but he was more focused on looking at her.But I didn't get it when he called Thea, Violet."It's you! I am not mistaken. It is you." He laughs, like he found a long lost jewel.Thea slowly pulled her head up to him and answered, "I think you have the wrong person."The old man shakes his head vigorously. "No. No. No. For God's sake I know exactly what you look like. I still remember your face so well, you were the most beautiful among the pact."What the hell is he talking about?"You were my idol. Everyone's idol." He adds while smiling at her. He is obviously hungry for Thea. This dirty ol
21THEAIt was already Friday and Kylie dragged me for shopping right after I got off from work. She said that she wanted me to look good tomorrow for Benedict's photo shoot since she said he called in specially for me. I was still busy looking for what to wear tomorrow and fitting everything that Kylie throws at me.Tomorrow, saturday, Benedict's photo shoot. Everything has all been set, even down to what he was going to wear and since that scene that he pulled off, my co-workers think I'm Benedict's new fuck buddy. Too bad I don't dream of becoming one though.Laura has been so cold to me too and kept giving me death stares from far away or when she looks at me over her desk. I've just recently heard that's why she was so pissed at me it's aside from having a huge crush on Benedict, she was also one of those employees who weren't too lucky to get a personal interview with him.Well now that I think about it, she's just a jealous slut in front of Benedict's eyes."Will you hurry up w
87 T H E A Sebastian committed suicide. He ended his own life with a gun in his head. No one even knew how he had a gun in the first place and no one had any idea he was going to do that. He was supposed to meet Ben and the others tomorrow for a reunion. He was supposed to live a new life after being sentenced in prison for seven years. He was supposed to live in a tropical place and start a new life for himself. He was supposed to live a life filled with dreams now that he is out in prison. Sebastian was supposed to live. I was supposed to forgive him. The autopsy report stated that it happened around twelve midnight which means just a few hours after he left our home. I have never felt so depressed in my entire life that I wasn't even able to tell him a lot of things that I wanted to say. I didnt know what I was exactly feeling, completely lost in my thoughts and emotions after Sebastian's passing. I knew that there was something wrong in his eyes when he talked to me becaus
86T H E A"How have you been?" He asks.Sebastian wore blue, white and light pink plaided top, a pair of faded jeans and a dirty white sneakers. He looked older than the last time I saw him and his hair has gotten longer too. He looked different, but those eyes still frightens me.Those merciless eyes.I couldn't stare at him longer and I had to look away from his gaze. I clear my throat, "I have been well." I answered."I'm really glad that you are." Sebastian tells me."Um, do you want to drink something Sebastian? Tea?" Ben offers.I quickly held his wrist, stopping him from leaving me alone in here and stared into his eyes as I said to him. "Please don't leave me here."Ben stares intently at me before he turns to Sebastian who speaks, "You dont really have to offer me anything."I bite my inner cheek and breathe in some confidence before I faced Sebastian. "What are you doing here?"Sebastian stares at me eagerly."What do you want?" I asked firmly."I came here to see if you ha
85T H E AI couldn't sleep the entire night as I was bothered about Sebastian's release happening in just a few hours.Thoughts were filling and piling inside my head one over the other and I don't know if this was going to let me sleep at all.So I slipped out of the bed where Ben was sleeping soundly and headed out of bedroom to get myself a glass of wine from downstairs. I hate myself when I turn to alcohol every time my thoughts are fogged up and fucked up. I hate when there are questions left unanswered and my solution is alcohol.I hated it.I hated it so much I hate myself too.I finished two glasses of wine and spent almost thirty minutes just sitting on a chair where I tried to drown and sort my troubled thoughts. I finally pulled myself up and headed back to my bedroom only until I saw Xavier heading out of his room, crying. I rushed to his side and wished that he wouldn't smell the stingy scent of alcohol from my breath."Xavier." I cooed. "What happened?""Mommy I had a n
84T H E A“Why didn’t you tell him?”Benedict's question still lingers in my mind.Why didn't I tell Sebastian back in the day?I have been asking myself that same question over and over again for the past couple of years. I used to tell myself that I wasn't ready and I know I wasn't ready. I lied to myself when I said I was ready to confess to him about our child but I was absentmindedly denying the fact that my mind was filled with so many thoughts as soon as I faced Sebastian.When I saw him, I was reminded of how he raped me mercilessly. When I saw him, I was reminded of how dirty of a woman I was. When I saw him, I was reminded of how I didn't want this baby to be born if only it hadn't been for Ben.Ben has always been my rock and my strength after everything that happened to me. All these years, he accepted me no matter what and I have been beyond blessed to have a man like that in my life.That kind of love and care he showed me is going to be something I didn't want to waste
83T H E AI stare at my own reflection in front of the mirror, I gained weight but I look different compared to the old me a few weeks ago. My eyes travelled down to my baby bump and as I turn to my side, I feel more anxiety building in the back of my head. I am not confident enough that I will be a good mother to this baby once it’s out when I know this baby came from a man who I trusted so much but just raped me. My bump is starting to show now and I know I have a lifelong responsibility waiting ahead of me. I just hope I will be responsible enough.I rub my hand over my small tummy then smiled at myself.“You will be fine.” I told my baby.Ben is here for me and for us. He always has. He made everything feel better. He made me better and happier without asking too much in return. He is a very selfless man and I owe him my life. My everything and all that I have left.I breathe out heavily and tucked my hair behind my ears as I stare at myself wearing this white dress and white ba
82B E N E D I C TShe stands by the balcony sliding door, staring at an empty space wearing my shirt and some pajamas. Standing here afar from Thea, looking at her, I can see and I can feel that her mind is full. It’s full of endless thoughts and worries. I wish I could take some from her restless bothered thoughts and I wish I could help her with what she is going through.Thea is strong but I don’t want her to have another breakdown. I hope I can share the pain and confusions she is going through right now. I wish, at least I could make her happy despite of what has happened lately.But I don’t know what to do as well.I am bothered too, restless, anxious, troubled and angry. I still have this growing hate in me and unwillingness to befriend Sebastian.I hate him.I walk towards Thea and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t budge but still sets her eyes out the window. “There are no stars tonight.” I say.She sighs heavily.“Aren’t you hungry sweetheart?” I ask.She didn’t answer
81B E N E D I C T“The CEO of Saintclare Enterprises , finally off the market!!”I read mentally the newspaper’s headlines as soon as I got into my office. I scan through the magazines which were also over my desk, and the headlines were also all about me.I sigh. “I knew this was gonna come out first thing in the morning.”The phone on top of my desk rings, I quickly picked it up, “Yes.”“Mr. Saintclare everyone is calling in for an interview with you. They’re all asking if you have any available time.” I can hear telephones ringing from my secretary’s background.“Cancel all interviews. Tell them I have a busy schedule up until next week.” I hung up.Suddenly the phone in my pocket rings. I stare at the screen and it was Mrs. Brown, my PR.I sigh as I answer, “I know what you’re going to say.”“It’s everywhere. My phone has been ringing since six o’clock this morning. I don’t know what to answer them.”“Did you say anything about Thea?”“No. Not unless you tell me to. I’m only wait
80BENEDICTI stare at Thea, and she has been looking out of the window for minutes now. I know she still has a lot of things in mind with what has happened lately and I’m sure she’s tired of thinking about it too. She has talked to Khaleel and I have had talked to him too. Despite her past, we wanted to keep it to ourselves than letting the others know about it. They wouldn’t understand what she went through to survive and it isn’t our story to tell.I have asked myself a couple of times why she had to choose such job but then I didn’t have the courage to ask her. I don’t want her to feel bad about herself and the more I ask about her past, the more she would think it bothers me.Honestly, it has been in the past and we all have had done crazy shit a thing or two. All of us deserves a second chance and women like Thea who strives hard to change herself to become a better woman deserves more than that. I am proud of her and she knows it.A smile creeps on her face as soon as I rubbed
79THEASometimes, in our lives there are instances when you just want to disappear because of awkward situations or embarrassing moments. And right now, that’s what I want to happen. I want to teleport to another place far from here.It feels like everything inside my system malfunctioned and brain feels dead. I have never felt more disgusted of myself and my past than how Sebastian is embarrassing me right now in front of Ben. No one has ever made me feel so little of myself, only Sebastian.This bastard. This one of a hell man. I wish he dies.My tears were just flowing from my closed eyes and I feel this growing pain against my chest. I try to breathe in but the pain grows as I exhale so I remained quiet. I don’t want to face anyone or see how they look at me with disgust and filth. I just want to disappear like one pop of a bubble or run out of this house and never look back.But I cant, I know I have to face them now. I have to face Khaleel. I have to face Benedict even if it’s