Chapter Ninety

Mack

My Friday night was spent fidgeting in my home office, debating if an impromptu trip to Kelsey’s apartment would work out in my favor. I understood she was a creature of habit and needed her sleep, but lately, the idea of playing house with her was becoming more and more appealing.

Her reaction toward us coming out as a couple didn’t help with my latest desires. She froze in her chair, her eyes widening as if she’d seen a ghost. Why was the thought of being in public together so offensive to her? I didn’t think the issue was commitment. I knew she wasn’t sleeping with anyone else, we’d made a promise to one another that our intimacy would remain exclusive.

But lately, that wasn’t enough. I needed more from her, and us not being on the same page was causing me anxiety. It wasn’t the same pent up, lost and guilty anxiety that stole my breath, the kind that came on when I’d internalize the death of my father. This anxiety was new, one that made me think twice about speaking freely