Chapter Fourteen
Sam
“You can’t be serious?” Chloe shoots back, making me think I’ve laid it on too thick. I don’t want to run away to the nearest chapel, but I am desperate for any reason to be with Chloe. I’m terrified she’s going to jerk her hand back and tell me there was a good reason she moved away and never looked back. I’ve dodged relationships over the years, knowing no one could ever hold a candle to my Chloe, connecting more on a physical level.
It’s what I know. It’s what I’m good at. And I’m certain Chloe will enjoy it. I want more with her, but this is the only route I know to go.
Chloe blinks several times, long lashes fluttering over her pretty green eyes. A warm breeze blows in from the lake, messing up Chloe’s already messy hair. “You want to get married?”
“Well, no,” I start.
“But that was the promise, was it not?”
“We don’t have to start with marriage,” I say back.
“What do you want to start with?” Her eyes are wide, and before I get the chance to answer, the waiter comes over to take our orders.
“I’ll, um, I’ll…” Chloe’s flustered and it’s so fucking adorable. “I’ll have a strawberry lemonade, please.”
“Same for me,” I say. I’m flustered too but internalize it better than Chloe. Acting under pressure comes with the job of being a doctor, especially at a trauma center.
“Can I interest you in an appetizer?”
“Um, sure,” Chloe says, head bobbing up and down.
“Did you have anything in mind?” the waiter asks after a few seconds pass by.
“Artichoke dip,” I rush out. The waiter nods, smiles, and says he’ll be right back. “I hope you still like it.”
“I do,” Chloe says, voice a little breathy. “I’m surprised you remembered.”
“I remember a lot about you.”
She smiles, cheeks reddening. “Your mom made me artichoke dip every Friday for years.”
“And you would eat it with apple slices instead of chips. Want me to ask for that instead?”
“No, it’s fine, though that does sound good.”
“I’ll ask when he brings our drinks out.”
“Thank you.”
Stacey calls again, and I send the call right to voicemail. What does she want? It was clear things were over between us, and she didn’t seem all that bothered by it.
“Your ex seems to really miss you,” Chloe notes, leaning back in her chair. “Did it end badly or something?”
“No,” I tell her honestly. “We were never serious, and to tell you the truth, I think she was seeing someone else at the end.”
“I’m so sorry,” Chloe says.
“We weren’t exclusive.” Well, not that time at least. We’d been exclusive in the past, but it never lasted long. Technically, Stacey and I were broken up before I called her over that night, and we had a long talk in the morning, clearing everything up. It wasn’t the painful conversation I braced myself for, which really drove in how little the relationship meant to us in the first place…and that maybe Rory was right about Stacey being a gold-digger all along. “It’s not a big deal.” I wave my hand in the air.
“But she keeps calling. Maybe it’s important and you should see what she wants.”
Well, this is a first. The woman I’ve had eyes on for years is right in front of me. She’s single. I’m single. The timing is finally right. But she’s encouraging me to talk to my ex? I don’t know what the right answer is here.
Talk to Stacey and risk Chloe thinking I have baggage?
Blow Stacey off and have Chloe think I’m the same asshole of a guy who hurt her in college?
“If she calls again, I’ll answer,” I tell Chloe. “Though I’d rather talk to you.”
“Good,” she says with a laugh. “Because it would be really awkward if you didn’t.”
“Yeah, that would be.”
The waiter comes back with our drinks and says the dip will be right out. I ask for apple slices, and after a quizzical look, he nods and says he’ll see if that’s possible. Chloe grabs her drink and gets up, going over to the balcony railing. Shielding her eyes from the sun, she looks out at the water. I wait a beat, not sure how the conversation got so off course, and follow suit.
“It’s a nice view,” she says when I stand next to her.
I’m looking at her when she talks. “It’s beautiful.”
She puts her lips around the straw and takes a drink. “And this is very sweet. That’s a lot of sugar.”
I try mine. “Fuck, that is.”
“I sweated out all my water on that run and now I’m drinking sugar with a splash of lemonade,” she laughs. “Good thing I’m not diabetic.”
“It’s good, though, isn’t it?” I take another sip. “I don’t drink anything but water very often.”
“Why not? No judgment,” she adds quickly. “I’m just curious.”
“I try to be healthy. Keyword there is try. I put a lot of effort into working out, and a big part of that is your diet.”
“You’re better than me,” she laughs. “I need to get back to eating healthy and working out regularly.”
I use her own words as an excuse to look her up and down. “You look fantastic.”
“Thanks,” she says, blushing slightly again. “I started running and doing yoga and actually stuck with it. I refuse to diet, though. I like food way too much to restrict myself, but I know the importance of being healthy. It might help in the event I…I…”
She doesn’t have to say it. I know where her mind is going. If I get sick like my mother. The cancer wasn’t detected until it had spread through most of her mother’s body, and the treatments made her even weaker. It was awful, watching Mrs. Fisher deteriorate before our eyes, but even worse to watch Chloe’s heart break apart bit by bit every day.
I did the best I could to pick up the broken pieces and put them back in place.
Until I single-handedly shattered it.
Taking a minute to look out at the water, I turn and admire Chloe. I want to apologize and let her know I’ve regretted that night at the party every day of my life. I want to tell her I’ve dreamed about her. I’ve missed her so much it hurts. I’ve hated how things ended between us, and I’d do anything to go back.
“Chloe,” I start and lean on the railing next to her, drink in one hand.
“Yeah?”
“I—”
“Sam?” someone interrupts. “Sam Harris, is that you?”
Chloe and I both turn and see a woman walking toward us. Pink streaks her pale blonde hair, matching the long dress she has on. She’s familiar, yet it still takes me a minute to place her as one of my former girlfriends. Chloe, however, recalls this woman right away.
“Tiffany,” she says, with just a bit of question in her voice. “Tiffany Henson?”
“It’s Miller now,” she says and shows us her left hand. “I’ve been married for eight years already, gosh, I’m old!” Tiffany, one of my many high school girlfriends, comes over, slowly shaking her head. “How the hell are you?” she asks, looking from me to Chloe and back. “Chloe, right?”
Chloe smiles and nods. “Yeah, that’s me.”
“I love your show. And I’m sorry if I was ever a dick in high school,” Tiffany spits out easily. I just need to come out and say it too, but I need Chloe to know I mean it.
Chloe shrugs. “It’s water under the bridge now. We all did—and said—things we didn’t mean when we were teenagers.” She flicks her gaze to me, and I can’t help but wonder if she’s talking about our pact. “How are you?”
“I’m good! Teaching at the elementary school, which I love. My youngest just turned three two days ago. My sister is in town” —she motions to a woman at a table behind her— “and we snuck away for a quick sister outing before she has to head back to the city this evening.” She angles her body toward mine. “I know what Chloe’s been up to, but what about you?”
“I’ll let you two catch up,” Chloe says quietly and goes back to the table.
“I’m a doctor,” I say, watching Chloe unwind her headphones from her phone. “In Chicago.”
“Wow, good for you. I always knew you were smarter than you let on.”
Chloe holds her phone up to her mouth, talking into it.
“Uh, thanks?”
Tiffany laughs. “I mean that in a good way. You were so caught up in being Mr. Popular then, not that I blame you. I was too.” She shakes her head. “Gosh, what were we thinking? Talk about being young and dumb, right?”
“Right. I did a lot of dumb things, that’s for sure.” My eyes go to Chloe again. She brings her phone to her ear, listening to a message. She must send voice messages via text the same way Rory does. We all tease her and say she’s too lazy to text, yet hates calling. But she might be onto something because it is much easier.
“You did something right.” Tiffany smiles and follows my gaze to Chloe. “You’re a doctor and you two are finally together.”
“What?” I blurt, blinking in the bright sunlight.
Tiffany presses her lips together and looks at me dubiously. “Like you guys were fooling anyone. I should go before my sister takes off without me. It was really good seeing you again, Sam. You look good.” She smiles. “And happy.” Her eyes go to Chloe again. “I can see why.”
“Yeah, it was nice seeing you again, Tiffany,” I say, and my heart skips a beat in my chest when I turn back to Chloe. She’s talking into her phone again and looks up. She stops talking when she sees me looking, and smiles.
Fuck.
I wasn’t fooling anyone then…and I’m tired of trying to fool myself now.
Chapter FifteenChloeI need someone to pinch me.No, really. I might offer the couple over there, clearly on their first date, twenty bucks per pinch because I’m having a good time with Sam—a really good time with Sam. We’re talking, just casually talking, and it feels so good to hang out like this again. I forgot how easy he was to get along with, and now that my heart has settled back into my chest, it almost feels like old times.Almost. Because I know for certain Sam wants to sleep with me, and I can’t get that out of my mind.“We still have a few weeks left,” I tell him, putting my empty glass on the table. “It’s not too late to buy a costume online and go.”“But getting the time off work,” Sam starts, and I laugh, knowing he’s full of shit. “That might be tricky.”“Bullshit,” I laugh. “You just told me you get several days off every month, and that always includes a weekend. You’re just scared.”“I am not,” Sam counters.“Then put on some tights and come to the Renaissance Fair
Chapter SixteenChloe“Are you okay?” Sam asks as I stick the key in the lock. We’re on the front porch of the lake house.“Yeah,” I rush out. “My shoulder just hurts.” It’s a lame excuse for me being rather quiet on the car ride to my dad’s house, but it’s all I can come up with right now. I spent most of the drive reminding myself I can’t be mad at Sam. I can’t consider him hooking up with Lauren another betrayal. He doesn’t seem to remember Lauren was a raging bitch to me in high school. I think only Farisha and my dad knew the extent of her bullying. I never hid things from Sam—except my love for him, of course—but I didn’t go rushing off to tell him a run-down of the mean comments Lauren said to me throughout the day.“Maybe take an Advil or something.”“I can do better.” I unlock the door and step inside. Sam follows, and I’m wishing I could uninvite him over. Okay, I don’t. But I should. I take my shoes off as I walk and end up tripping over my own feet. Sam dashes forward and
Chapter SeventeenSam“Where have you been?” Mason looks up from his phone, half-eaten sandwich in his hand.“I went for a run,” I say, taking off my shoes.“Bullshit you were running the whole time.”“What, afraid you can’t keep up?”“I could outrun you any day,” Mason shoots back.Rory comes into the kitchen holding Adam and gives me a pointed look. “Don’t start,” she warns.I take Adam from her, bouncing him gently in my arms. He reaches for my nose, smiling.“Start what?” Mason asks, taking another bite of his sandwich.“You know,” Rory says, opening the fridge.“No, I don’t.”Rory rolls her eyes. “You’re stupidly competitive, and it’s annoying.”“I am not,” Mason spits back. “Okay, fine, I am. So where were you?”“Running, that whole time. Blindfolded and uphill both ways. Barefoot too.”“Hah-hah,” Mason snickers. “Hilarious. Next time you want to actually work out, let me know.”“What, are you going to go cut down trees or something? With an ax like a real man,” Rory retorts.“Y
Chapter EighteenChloe“It’s so good to see you!” Mrs. Harris pulls me in for a big hug. Sam and I just stepped into the farmhouse and his mother bombarded me just like Sam warned she would. Mrs. Harris really steppedin when my mom died, and losing contact with Sam meant not talking to his family anymore either.“You too,” I reply.“It’s been way too long.” She gives me a final squeeze before letting me go. “You’re even prettier than I remember. You look like your mother.” Mrs. Harris blinks away tears, and I have to blink several times to keep from tearing up as well.“Dinner smells amazing,” I tell her, looking at the spread of appetizers on the counter. “I hope you didn’t go through too much trouble.”“It’s never trouble for you, dear.” She smiles.“Hey, Chloe!” Rory whispers, coming into the room holding her sleeping baby. I flash her a big smile.“Hey,” I say back, just as quietly. “He’s so sweet.”“He is, but my arm is falling asleep and I have to pee,” Rory chuckles softly.“I’
Chapter NineteenSamThe little shit was serious.He’s putting the moves on Chloe, right in fucking front of me. She looks a little confused as she taps her shot glass against his, and gags when she tosses the whiskey back. She and Mason both burst out laughing, and Chloe waves her hand in front of her face.“That’s terrible! Oh my god!” She’s still laughing and turns around to go to the sink. She rinses her shot glass and fills it with water, taking a drink.“Now that we’ve gotten the worst out of the way, try this one.” Mason unscrews the lid to a bottle of peach vodka.“It’s probably not a good idea to be mixing types of alcohol like that,” I say.“Told you he’s lame,” Mason huffs, and I glare at him, still in disbelief he’s hitting on Chloe. She’s my— Well, she’s not my anything. She was my best friend but she’s not anymore, and I fucking hate how much that hurts.“He’s right.” Chloe’s eyes go to mine. “I shouldn’t mix booze like this, and I had wine with dinner. I don’t want to g
Chapter TwentyChloe“Hey, Vanessa,” I say when I answer the phone. I close the sliding glass door behind me and am surrounded by the sounds of the night. “Is everything okay?”“Yes, and I’m so sorry to bother you on a Sunday night,” she starts. “I got a quick question for you before I pursue this any deeper.”“Pursue what?” I walk along the patio, looking past the white picket fence at the barn. The lights are on, and I can hear voices coming from inside. I know Mrs. Harris still has chickens, but I’m not sure what other farm animals they have now that the kids are grown.“I went out to dinner tonight and just happened to strike up a conversation with a producer. Of course you came up, and to make a long story short, they’re interested in getting you involved in an upcoming show. They’re putting a twist on medieval legends, based on a book written thirty years ago that ended on a huge cliffhanger. The author died before he got to finish it. Basically, they want to say the writer of t
Chapter Twenty-oneSam“It’s beautiful out,” Chloe says quietly, and I pause before looking up at the star-studded sky. I’m standing just inches from her, having come around the car to open the door for her to get inside. It’s cooled down a lot from the heat of the day this afternoon, but not so much that it’s uncomfortable to be outside. I love nights like this when I can be out in sweatpants and a hoodie, covered up enough to keep from getting eaten alive by mosquitos without breaking out in a sweat.A soft breeze rustles Chloe’s hair, and I reach out, not even thinking, and tuck her hair behind her ear. I get zapped with an electric shock when my fingers grace over her flesh, and Chloe jumps slightly.“Maybe you’re a merman.” She reaches up and puts her hand over mine.“What?” I ask with a chuckle.“It’s something from a made-for-TV movie I used to watch when I was a kid. He shocked people when he touched them.”“I think I remember that one.” I flip her hand over and lace our finge
Chapter Twenty-twoChloe“I…I can’t do this.”The look on Sam’s face just about does me in. But I can’t. I have to stand my ground or that momentary look on Sam’s face will be on mine for months, if not years. Or forever. Because it’s been over ten years since I’ve gazed on this man’s gorgeous face and I’m still just as in love with him as ever.“Then we don’t have to,” Sam says gently and takes his hands off me. I miss him right away. “I’m sorry. I thought you…I’m sorry.” He’s flustered and confused, and I can’t blame him. Because I do want to keep kissing him. I want him to undress me and fuck me until I’m screaming his name. I take a step back and blink away tears. “I really didn’t mean it was idiotic to kiss you,” he rushes out.“I know,” I say quietly. “And I agree you were an idiot for not kissing me sooner, because I really like you kissing me.” Dammit, I do, and desire for him swirls deep inside me, but I have to fight it. I have to stay strong. “I just…I can’t.”“I’m confused
EpilogueChloe“Relax,” I tell Sam, trying not to laugh.“I thought they said riding a horse was like riding a bike. Once you learn how to do it, it just comes back to you.”Now I do laugh. I circle Spartan around, clicking my tongue at Drake, an eighteen-year-old horse we recently adopted so Sam can go trail riding with me. Drake is the perfect “husband horse” and has much more whoa than go, and right now is doing everything he can to pull the reins from Sam’s hands so he can graze.“Pull him up,” I tell Sam. “And ask him forward. He’s testing you.”“Come on, buddy,” Sam urges and asks the horse to walk forward. Spartan, who’s ready to race along the dirty trail, speed-walks up ahead, acting as good motivation for Drake to follow us. It’s a rare sixty-five-degree day in early March, and we’re taking advantage of the nice weather while we can.I leave for a month-long tour in Europe in just a few days, and instead of just doing book signings, Charles and are attending panels to talk a
Chapter Forty-nineSamFour months later…I stomp snow off my shoes and enter my apartment building, chilled right down to the bone just from the short walk from my car to the building. It’s been a long day, and work and the snow and cold makes me even more eager to get inside my warm apartment.“Good evening, Dr. Harris,” one of the attendants says.“Good evening. Staying warm?” I pull my gloves off and stuff them in my pocket.“I’m trying,” he replies with a chuckle, pushing the door closed behind me, wanting to seal off the cold air as fast as possible. I quickly grab my mail and then head up, squeezing in the elevator with a few other people.I’m the last to get off and hurry down the hall to my apartment, unlocking the door with haste.“Hey, babe,” I say and step inside, shutting the door behind me. “What are you doing in the dark?”Chloe turns away from the living room window, mug of steaming coffee in her hand. She’s illuminated by the light coming in behind her, so beautiful i
Chapter Forty-eightChloeTurning away from the coffee pot that I was plugging in, I look to see who’s at the door. I don’t remember having any deliveries scheduled for today, but I have a bad habit of buying stuff off of Instagram ads and then forgetting about it. Only delivery drivers and a select few friends know the code to my gate, though that doesn’t mean someone couldn’t have hopped the fence.“Can I help you?” Charles asks right as it hits me that someone could have seen Charles come over and is trying to get a candid photo of him. Which now makes me feel bad for asking him to answer the door, but dammit, I need coffee. I fell asleep early—before I could drink more wine—but I can tell a headache is coming on fast.Eric got up nearly an hour ago and has been out jogging since. Charles and I dragged out butts out of our rooms not all that long ago, both grumbling about being too old to drink like we used to.Unable to see who’s at the door, I sidestep, and Sam’s clear blue eyes
Chapter Forty-sevenSamLooking around the airport, I take a drink of my coffee, waiting for the caffeine rush to kick in. I need it. It’s going to be a long night. There were no direct overnight flights to LA from Chicago tonight, so I’m landing in Texas, changing planes, and will get to LA early in the morning. It’s the fastest way I can get to Chloe, and I cannot fucking wait to pull her into my arms and tell her the good news.I feel a little bad that I didn’t call Chloe when I was leaving the hospital, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep this from her, and I know how much she’ll enjoy the surprise. I was able to get the next two days off and then work an overnight shift on the third. As long as I’m able to sleep on the plane, I’ll be fine.I take another drink of coffee and lean back in the uncomfortable chair, fighting off the urge to fall asleep. I’ll close my eyes as soon as I’m on the plane, but I don’t want to take the risk of missing my flight if I fall asleep now.My pho
Chapter Forty-sixChloeI turn on my electric fireplace and grab two wine glasses, joining Charles on the couch. We’re back at my place, and I feel a little better after talking over lunch.“Red or white?” Charles asks, motioning to the wine bottles on the coffee table.“You pick. As long as it gets me tipsy to numb the pain, I’m good.” I grab a blanket and spread it over both our laps. The plan is to drink wine, order junk food later, and just hang out. Charles leaves soon to go overseas to work on a movie, and who knows where I’ll be.“The red then.” He gives me a look and opens the bottle of Merlot, pouring us both a generous amount. “I thought you were feeling better?”“I was.” I take a sip of wine and lean back. “I’m trying to shake the feeling that things aren’t meant to be and I’m struggling.”“Just because something isn’t perfect doesn’t mean it’s not meant to be,” he counters.“I know.” I nod and take another drink of wine, this time setting my glass down so I’m not tempted t
Chapter Forty-fiveSamI grab my phone from my locker and check for missed calls or texts. Chloe called me while I was in surgery, and I immediately call her back. The service in the locker room is shitty, and the call drops before her phone even rings. Quickly changing, I stuff my phone in my pocket, grab my keys and wallet, and head out to get something to eat.I’m on-call and need to stay nearby, but don’t have to stay on the hospital campus. I could go home, though I’ve gotten stuck in traffic, made it into the lobby of my apartment building and then got called back. Sitting through hours of surgery with nothing but granola bars in my stomach isn’t fun, so I pull out my phone to order food as I walk to the car.It rings only seconds after I step into the parking garage. It’s Stacey.“Hello?” I answer.“Hey,” she replies. “Are you busy?”“Not at the moment. I’m on-call and was going to get something to eat.”“Oh, good. I was just saying how hungry I was and I’m near your hospital.
Chapter Forty-fourChloeI drop my bags in the kitchen and walk through my large, empty house, going upstairs to my bedroom. I’m always a little freaked out to come home to an empty house after I’ve been away from a while. I have a top-of-the-line security system, so logically, I know no one could be in the house without setting off the alarm. I can go through the activity log from the last few days too and make sure no doors or windows have been opened, giving myself peace of mind.Though right now, I could use the distraction. I had a lot of time to think on the plane, and I came to the conclusion that while this sucks, I’m being dramatic. Single parents date with no issues. But starting a long-distance relationship while taking care of a newborn is a lot, and I can’t expect Sam, who already works long hours at a highly stressful job, to be able to fly to California for a quick weekend to romp around the set of a TV show with me.And there’s no way he can come visit me in Europe.I
Chapter Forty-threeSam“What?” Chloe asks, and the smile on her face fades away.“My ex says she’s pregnant.” I swallow the vomit rising in my throat. Time slows, and I watch Chloe, heart racing as I wait for her to reply.She pulls her hands from mine. “That is…that is definitely not what I thought you were going to—what?” She shakes her head.“Stacey…my, uh, ex, told me she’s pregnant and I’m the father.” Chloe, clearly stunned, steps back a few paces, dangerously close to the shallow shoreline. She brings a hand to her face and rubs her temples. Seconds tick by, and they feel like years. Say something, Chloe. Please. Anything.Finally, she opens her mouth only to close it again. “Your ex-girlfriend?”“Yeah,” I say, and a weight comes off my shoulders, though judging by the look on Chloe’s face, a heavy weight just landed on hers. “I know it’s a shock. It was for me too.”Chloe closes her eyes, rubbing her forehead. “What?” she repeats. “I…I thought…I thought you were…you’re
Chapter Forty-twoChloe “I have good and bad news.” I set my phone on the patio table and sit back down, pulling the blanket tighter around my shoulders. “Yeah?” Sam settles back into his chair, looking a little uneasy. He keeps flicking his gaze to Mason, who’s giving him a weird, unreadable look back. They’re having some sort of unspoken conversation, something only the two of them can understand. I used to wish I had a sibling solely based on how close all the Harris kids were. They fought like cats and dogs at times, but at the end of the day, they were a family and loved each other. I’ve always considered myself lucky to be part of it, even though I wanted to be part of it in a different way—the way I am now. “My agent was able to negotiate a much better contract with the network. She thinks I’ll like this one a lot more.” “And the bad news?” Mason asks. “The head honchos at the network want to meet with me Tuesday morning, so I’ll have to get