Cloud Reading

GRACE

Life sucks.

As I parked my car, my lips scrunched into an unpleasant pout and my back slumped into the comfort of my seat.

While holding back a sigh that was threatening to drop, I tilted my head to the left and that was when I noticed that my breakfast was still untouched and shielded from straying eyes.

I lazily reached for it and the smell of fried eggs and fresh bread hit my nose.

As I observed my meal from the plastic packaging it was caged in, the fact that my life has already hit the deepest of bottoms crept into my mind and I finally released the sigh.

Since I left the office, all I did was sigh. I sighed so much that I think my shoulders are tired from taking all the grunt of my emotions.

Soon, I shrugged and told myself that I had to take care of my growing hunger before brooding over the failure of my life.

So, I kicked off my shoes, adjusted the seat till my feet could barely touch the controls, and dragged out a sandwiched pair of my breakfast.

As I munched on the very delicious meal, I started to think about my life. I desisted from such thinking while driving because I didn’t trust myself.

I have proven numerous times to be unstable emotionally. So, I might have gotten into an accident if I had not taken caution while driving.

Crossing my legs, I took another bite of my meal.

′This shit is good.′ I thought and after that, I thought, ’My life is shit!′

Samantha was right.

My recent way of dealing with the ache I have been carrying about is causing me unnecessary pain. In some sense, I was using something harmful to treat the fault in my life.

What could be more dangerous than that?

And, the fact that I keep ignoring the danger I was putting myself in makes things worse.

Just last week, I almost got demoted from my position after I showed up to work at a super early hour. I was half drunk and sort of horny.

According to the staff who stayed overnight that day, I was dry-humping one of the shelves in the library while mumbling words he could not understand.

Aside from the insane humiliation I keep plunging myself into, it is clear that I totally deserved to get fired.

But what do I do with my life now?

With some bread still in my mouth, I groaned like a hungry baby whale. Distress overpowered me and the sides of my eyes wrinkled as I bit into what was left of the meal in my hand.

The anguish in my soul amplified and my eyes started to itch. They started to ache, almost as though telling me that more tears were on their way.

But at this point, I am beyond tired of crying. I have shed so many tears in the past weeks that I can’t just do it anymore.

A knock on the window of the front passenger seat dragged me out of my little drama. I looked up and wiped the oiliness staining my hand on my trousers.

It was Da... yeah, David.

With excitement, the man I almost slept with waved at me so much that the front of his styled hair fell to the side.

I reached for the control and lowered the window.

He popped his head into the car, but his wide smile disappeared when he saw that some tears had managed to fight their way out of the surface of my eyeballs.

I quickly faced the other side and got rid of the evidence that I was deep into the feeling of dejection.

“Rose... why are you back so soon? Why do you look sad?”

Ahh... I guess it’s too late to hide what has been discovered.

I faced him again and David swiped away the little mass of hair blocking his view, a look of concern etched on his pretty face.

While I managed a small smile, I took a second to appreciate my ability to get fine men into my bed when drunk.

′Nice work, Rose!′ I gave myself a sarcastic smile and reminded myself to stop giving myself false names whenever I’m drunk.

I looked away from cute David, grabbed another sandwich, looked ahead at the plain white wall my car was facing and resumed a silent munching.

David opened the door and I felt the impact of him sitting down.

“Rose...” he called.

“Grace,” I corrected him, and his brows queried me. “My name is Grace. Not Rose. Well drunk me apparently is, Rose or whoever she chooses to be.” I replied to him with a lazy tone. Anyone that hears me right now would think that I am fed up with life.

Ha! I am kind of fed up with life.

He nodded as though he understood and continued, “Okay, Grace. Why are you back so early? Did you forget something?”

“I got fired!” I slammed my hands on the steering wheel. I don’t know what irritated me all of a sudden... his questions or the state of my life.

I dragged a shaky breath into my lungs and slowly let it out. That lengthy breath I just took is part of the tears I have been trying to hold back.

My eyes pinched to get rid of the blur that covered them and I glanced at David who was yet to say a word. His worried expression was gone and replaced with an unreadable one.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” His silence was starting to make me regret screaming about my recent life issue.

“Did you murder the boss or something?” I gave him a ‘are you kidding me?’ look and reached for another paired slice of my meal. Well, it was the last one.

David continued, “I mean that question. I mean, you were late. So, what? People go to work late a lot these days. There is this laziness-flu in town and let me let you into a secret...” He pushed his hair to the side again. “This flu has affected more than half of the population. Go and check the stats.”

How can someone say such foolish things with pride?

“Listen, David.” I sighed. “I got fired because I was late. And... I sort of have been doing that for some weeks now. And in addition to that, I have been exhibiting some crazy behaviour thanks to the irresponsible and drunk side of me.”

“Do you need a hug?”

His question instantly turned my soul into jelly. I settled the untouched bread back into the bag. A babyish look landed on my face and I gave a very big nod.

David leaned forward and engulfed me in his chest, his cologne hitting my nose. He smelt very manly and that made me want to stay longer in the hug.

Apart from Sam who hugs me at any given opportunity, I hardly have any other person to hug me.

“Okay, Grace... I think we should go upstairs and watch something that will make you laugh. What do you say?” David asked after releasing me from his very warm hug.

Once I adjusted my position till I was seated well, I looked up thoughtfully for a few seconds.

“I think I want to go for a walk.”

“Well...” He nodded. “... walking does help clear the mind. Let’s go.”

“Whoa, whoa. Wait.” He lifted his brows. And I must say, he looks cuter doing that. “What are you still doing here? I thought you would have left. I mean, you didn’t even get the one-night stand you could have had.”

“Well, I am still here, even after not getting the sex.” My lips pressed into a thin line as I dashed him an apologetic look. “I was leaving already but I saw your car here and I had to check.”

“I can’t believe I am saying this. But I am glad you did not leave.”

“I am glad I did not have sex with you.”

“Huh?” I was confused.

“If we did, I would not be here and you would have probably sat here all day and cried till you couldn’t anymore.”

“Are you a freaking sorcerer? That is some shit I would do,” I replied, feeling a bit happy that I had company. “Let’s go for that walk.”

We got out of the car and I locked it, after ensuring I did not leave my phone behind.

“So, how come you are not at work right now?” I asked a few seconds after we hit the sidewalk.

“Uh...I am a freelance graphic designer. For about six months now, I have been working with only publishing companies.”

“Really? I work... well used to work in a publishing company.” My voice went from excited to way less excited within a very short span. As if sensing the sadness about to set in, David immediately changed the topic.

“Have you ever tried cloud reading?” I looked at him, interest on my face. “It is this silly yet fun thing I do when I am bored. I look at the sky on cloudy days and read cloud shapes. One day, I saw a dinosaur with a camel-like hump and a mermaid tail.”

“Really?” He nodded and I chuckled. “There’s no way that’s true.” It was unbelievable yet exciting to hear.

“I swear, I saw it. And I wasn’t surprised because, on a certain day, I saw a very happy donkey posing beside...” He nudged me. “...guess what it was.”

“Uh... a burrito?” He shook his head in the negative. “Hamburger?”

“Nope. It is a male part.”

“A male part. Is it the sexual...?”

“Yes.” He did not even let me finish the statement.

When it finally dawned on me, my eyes immediately brightened in disbelief.

I glanced at him, gave a short laugh then looked away.

“I don’t believe you,” I said.

“I wish I were lying. And before you say it...” His index fingers pointed in my direction. ” I wasn’t high that day.”

“Oh my God.” I burst into laughter, stopping in my tracks to properly do it. As the image crept into my mind, I laughed some more, gaining looks from people passing us. David just stood still and watched me with a huge smile on his face. “That must have been wild.”

“You should try it,” he offered. “Cloud reading is a great way to have fun and free your mind.”

My mirth came to an end and I caved into his idea.

As I transferred my line of sight to the distant sky, I saw that there were a lot of clouds, some even blocked a great portion of the sun.

I squinted my eyes but a paper flew to my face and blocked my sight.

“Uh... I see nothing but white.” I removed the paper from my face and was about to throw it into a nearby bin when I noticed the word VACANCY written boldly on the top.

That caught my attention.

“What’s that?” David moved closer and looked into the paper. “Do people still make fliers?”

“They need a babysitter.” I looked up at David. “And I need a job. This is good. I can go for the interview or whatever it is called.”

“You want to work as a babysitter?” I shrugged and nodded at his question. “You used to work at a publishing company. Why would you want to become a babysitter?”

“It is not a terrible job.”

“I know it is not. But my point here is that you can choose to walk into any publishing house right now. And I am sure they would... Wait, which position did you hold?”

“Assistant Chief Editor.” I am surprised that I am easily discussing something this important with a man I nearly slept with.

“Seriously? Why would you want to babysit when you have such a qualification? Publishing houses would die to have you work with them. You worked with Elite Publishing, Grace. Elite Publishing.”

Realising I never told him exactly where I worked, I frowned and asked, “How do you know that?”

“I saw a mug in your kitchen.” The man didn’t stutter. “It had the name of the company boldly written on it.”

I nodded in agreement. I did have such a mug. Two actually. They were part of the employee packages we got for the Christmas party we had three years ago.

I was still in my right mind then.

I squared my chin shoulders and said, “Who cares if I worked at Elite? I have been through a lot, David. I need a more decent distraction. And, hooking up with men isn’t exactly that much of a decent distraction. Besides, my reason for being dismissed from my position is not pleasant enough to give me the confidence to stand in front of other employers in the publishing field.”

“Well, if you say so. So when is the interview or whatever?”

I know, right?

I don’t even know if you get interviewed for babysitting jobs.

I checked the paper. “Tomorrow.”

“Do you even know how to take care of a kid?”

“I once helped a kid get on a swing at the park.” I looked up at him again, not sure if that counted.

“Well, if that could happen, I guess babysitting shouldn’t be that hard for you.”

I smiled grandly and said, “This should go well. How hard could it be?”

He shrugged, returned my smile, grabbed my hand, and suggested that we go get something to eat.