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T h i r t e e n
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I'm trapped at school. The weather agrees with my mood. Ever since that little thing between us, the dark clouds seem to have gathered over my head, and now it rains nonstop.
I'm evaluating my options here. I could efficiently run down the bus station or call a cab and wait by the doorway until it arrived. I could easily afford it to Lin's place and even the house, but he might be there. I had been successful for the past few weeks to avoid him, or he had made it more accessible. His constant trips abroad were now back on schedule. My tasks had been minimized. The excuse was a new assistant, replaced by someone named after a fruit. I hated her.
On the other hand, I was named after a twelve-year-old too advanced for her age who enjoyed outings with much older men. Now that I think about it is nothing far from the reality, well at least I'm nineteen going to twenty, and my older man, someone who was not interested in me,
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Baby F o u r t e e n
"I'm bad friend." "The worse." We're out, finally together for the longest time, and I have already recounted all these events on her. I have been babbling none stop for more than thirty minutes, telling her how it felt from the very first moment with him to the little thing with me sitting on his lap. I needed this; I needed her to be there for me as I had been for me and her silly drama. "What was her name again?" "Sherry," I said while batting my eyes in the same ridiculous way I had seen her do. "Her name is stupid." "She's stupid." "I'm drunk." I sighed and leaned back against the wall. "Me too!" She started clapping and laughing like I had told her the best joke in the world. It was one in the morning, and we were heavily intoxicated, to the point of being crossed-eyed and unable to stand up straight. There was a party, a few blocks down from we had walked from at least one hour ago. I screamed under the l
Baby F i f t e e n
You know the moment you want to bolt, run, escape to the end of the earth, and your brain won't work the way that is supposed to work; to send a message to the legs and make them move. What I did do was wobble on my feet and almost fall on my ass. I couldn't stop watching him watch me. I couldn't stop feeling terrified and ashamed. I suddenly realized that my breath smelled like alcohol and that my makeup was heavy, and my shorts were very, very short. "Where were you?" Ice cold, his voice was sharp and low. His gray eyes seemed to turn lighter with the anger in his face. He stood up and started to walk at a languid pace towards me, towering and then making me feel small. My ears were ringing. If it weren't for the fact that I was stuck where I stood, I already would have fallen on my ass. "I'm not asking again Dolores." He shook me. He really, really shocked me. He grabbed me by the shoulders and surprised me. "Where were you Goddamit?" "Out." I trie
Baby S i x t e e n
It's too warm. I have no clue where this comforted came out or how my mattress turned out to be so comfortable. I can't move or open my eyes, and I don't want to. My limbs are heavy, and my eyes refuse to help me see much. I must not have slept a lot. I'm thirsty and weak, and my mouth tastes so bitter. With a lot of effort, I finally will my body roll over on my back, and with my hands, I scan the surface of the softest sheets in the world. I need to pee badly, but I also can't find the edge of the bed, which is weird because I have one person bed. Also, my hair is damp. I'm whimpering, I have a massive headache, and I'm pretty sure I emptied everything on my bathroom floor, and I will have to clean it if I ever get out of this damn bed. Where the hell is the end of this mattress? But how did I get to my bed? Is this my bed? I still can't find the edge of the bed. I can move my whole body now, but somehow I'm still unable to see my surroundings. Everything is so dark. The s
Baby S e v e n t e e n
It was all in slow motion, my reaction; It was like it didn't happen, not at first but later when I felt the sting and then the warm feeling slipping slowly through my veins. My brain went into shock when he lifted me over his shoulder and started walking as if nothing had happened, as if it hadn't been the palm of his hand that made my body buzz. My brain kept replaying the moment over and over until I woke up when he let me down by throwing me on the bed. He exited the room right after, no words said, not even a look; he simply turned around and closed the door after him. My skin prickled. I wanted to look, I wanted to see it — the mark, I mean. It is not every day that I'm spanked. I guessed the effect would soon appear, perhaps an imprint of his whole hand or a few fingers. Still, it would be there when I looked. As a child, I had been punished for any mischief I had made. My father believed that pun
Baby E i g h t e e n
"If you hold that pen harder I think it will break." I look down at my hands. Indeed the pen is almost to its point break, so I relaxed my grip. I examine, and as I look, I notice it is a bit bent, but I'll survive its purpose. I make a face to the kid seated beside me at class and turn back to the lecture. Whatever has been said, I have no idea. I'm going to have to read the whole chapter for the next class. "You ok there?" "Yes," I say without turning to whoever he is. "You don't look ok." "I am." "Then go out with me." "What?" This time I do turn around. I remember his face from somewhere but can't place a name, he's cute, my age, but I have no idea who he is. "A date?" he smiles and leans closer. "Why?" "Why not?" He shrugs. Exactly Dolly, why wouldn't he want to date you? You're pretty decent on the eyes, and you are in his age range and all. He doesn't look like a controlling person or like he will ignore
Baby N i n e t e e n
- L i a m- Being like this should be enough. It has to be enough. I'm aware of what I do to her because she seems to wear her emotions on her face. To me, she's an open book and also a breath of fresh air. She's nothing like the women I'm used to being around, and she will never be. I wish she would stay just like this, innocent and fresh. I can see it in her eyes, now darkened by the words that just came out of my mouth. She's willing to give me everything I ask her, and yet I don't want to take anything, not now. Her purity is what I love the most, and I hate myself for using the word love. It shouldn't be happening with her, with someone so young. T The feel of soft skin under my palm keeps me on edge. The first time I touched her, really touched her, was at that damn trip I forced her to accompany me. There was no need for her to be there, and yet I had dragged her all the way to the Caribbean to later had no idea what to do with her;
Baby T w e n t y
This must be what sexual frustration feels like. I mean is the first time I've experimented with this feeling, and I know it has something to do with sex; it is all I can think about when he's around. Yes, I thought about it before, but now it is more frequent. I thought he was going to do something. He acted like he was, but I still waiting, and it had only been an hour since we got back. My hand is in the same spot on my thigh; I feel him there and many other places. Why doesn't he just touch me? I want him so much I feel like crying. I was so sure he was going to kiss me inside the car. When his thumb touched my lip, I turned into a puddle. I'm sick of feeling like this; I can't control myself when I'm around him. I don't even remember half of my conversation with Beck because his hand was touching me, h
Baby T w e n t y - o n e
"What did you think? That he was going to fall for a nineteen-year-old girl? I mean look at you, you still dress like you're in high school and he's a man Dolores. A man." Note the emphasis on the word man. "Ouch, Lin." "You rather I lie to you?" "No, but, couldn't you be a little less mean." "I rather you not go through what I went with Jameson, I would have wanted to know he wasn't going to stick around for the very beginning." Right, that jerk had broken my best friend's heart. "He made me like him." "What are you talking about? You practically undressed him with your eyes since day one." "So did he!" "But my question is," I start clearing my throat. Since they went out on a few dates and Lin didn't reveal anything, I was curious. "Did you see him naked?" There, I asked. Her cheeks turn crimson, and she bites her lip, nodding. Whore. "I saw." "You saw?" "Oh, I saw." "How much?"
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Baby S i x t y - t w o
HE LOVES ME? “When?” I was almost screaming now. “Don’t you play with me.” Again, with the laughing. I slapped his shoulder and that got him even more amused. There he was all naked, laughing his heart out while holding his belly. His face turned red while I sat there waiting for it to stop. This was serious he was just goofing around, which was why I didn’t stop when he called after me when I jumped off and out of the bed and locked me in the bathroom. I wanted to know and a little drama would calm him down, so I took my time to take the longest shower in his big and modern one. The top one felt like warmed-up rain falling from the skies while the rest massaged my back, thighs, and chest. It was wonderful. By the time I jumped walked out my fingers were pruning and the bath was steamy and full of the cloudberry scent. I know had my little spot above the
Baby S i x t y - o n e
“Tell me about your first time?” Somehow, I knew this question was coming. I knew that he was resentful, I knew he hated Beck and I know that every man wishes that he was the first lover. Well, at least some do. He has hinted at it a few times and every single time I dreaded that he’d dropped the bomb. Trying to find the right words for it was going to be difficult. “It was ok.” “Just ok?” “Yeah…I mean it hurt a lot but he was extra patient.” A brick building was pushing through my vagina, that’s what I felt like, it didn’t matter how slow he went or how much he tried to soothe it with sweet words and soft kisses. It hurt. “I almost made him pull out but he assured me everything was going good and that the pain was going to stop.” He’s not looking at me, not directly, his eyes are down to the invisible patterns his index finger keeps tracing over my ribcage. After a night of loving we cuddled and talked about anything but sex until his
Baby S i x t y
We have separate rooms. It surprised me when he simply opened the door and said it but when he continued walking inside and showed me the door that lead to his. I watched the little light of hope disappear in the distance. Is like back in time when the husband and wife slept in separate rooms but the husband would slide into the wife's bedroom, get his fill while she laid horizontal and without any protest. Weren't women supposed to have this inner voice telling them when something was wrong? Mine should have been ringing since the very moment I saw him again on that train. I shouldn't have called him, I shouldn't have kept his damn card. I'm just a body. I am just a flesh doll to him. I am waiting. In the darkness, I'm ready for it to be done, for hours I have been waiting for him to come to me and get it done with. I can see the beam of light from under the door, his door. I can hear him pacing back and forth, I wat
Baby F i f t y - n i n e
I watch her sleep, her mouth slightly open and her hair damp from the quick bath we had before. A breath of fresh air, that's what she is. Is awful that I am comparing her with all my other sex partners, but I can't help it. All I have to say is that it was good. So good.She felt so fucking good.She has had me working and wondering if it was only me, and now, she's here, sleeping soundly on my bed. Just watching her next to me makes me want to pound my chest like a savage and scream 'mine' at the top of my lungs.Next time I have to remind myself to go slower. Not only did I claim her little body, but I took out all those years filled with lust and want, where the main character of my fantasies was her when I imagined myself with her and not those other women.I had the real thing under me awoken something inside of me. I just wanted to see Dolore's face, listen to my name on her lips, bathing on her shiv
Baby F i f t y - e i g h t
I watch her sleep, her mouth slightly open and her hair damp from the quick bath we had before. A breath of fresh air, that's what she is. Is awful that I am comparing her with all my other sex partners, but I can't help it. All I have to say is that it was good. So good.She felt so fucking good.She has had me working and wondering if it was only me, and now, she's here, sleeping soundly on my bed. Just watching her next to me makes me want to pound my chest like a savage and scream 'mine' at the top of my lungs.Next time I have to remind myself to go slower. Not only did I claim her little body, but I took out all those years filled with lust and want, where the main character of my fantasies was her when I imagined myself with her and not those other women.I had the real thing under me awoken something inside of me. I just wanted to see Dolore's face, listen to my name on her lips, bathing on her shiv
Baby F i f t y - s e v e n
He moves away, my hand falling, and reaches onto the nightstand. I haven't even thought about protection but knowing him. He's prepared. He is always prepared. So this is really happening, like really. Like he's pushing my knees, bending them, and rolling the condom on until he is fully covered. I'm shaking. "Everything good?" "So good." I exhale, licking my lips. He nods, and his face is pure concentration. I feel it, a tap on my pussy. And then he moves closer, pushing forward. I can't help my reaction. I'm moving away from it, away from the increasing pressure. He is thicker than what has been in me before. And I'm having second thoughts about him fitting in without any trouble. I try to relax, and he jumps in to, kissing me. I feel it again, right at my door, waiting. My breath catches, and I move my face away, which is considerable. I
Baby F i f t y - s i x
He's watching my mouth as his hand disappears from sight. I feel it a second later, hot on my stomach. Laid flat and still, a little pressure above my pubic bone.He tastes sweet.He kisses me slow.My hands laced on his neck, pulling him closer. I let him nip my lips and kiss me deeply. His tongue teases mine, making it follow him into his own mouth, and while all this is happening, my brain screams; we're kissing, we're kissing, we're kissing."I can't believe we're doing this." I murmur into his mouth."I've wanted this for so long." Then what took him this long? I'm blinking through my daze, watching him and feeling him, running my hands on his back and arms. Feeling the soft hairs of his chest under my open palms. "You got into my skin. A tiny thing like you disrupted my life, upside-down in a matter of seconds."I've never thought that my presence had done anything but displease him at the beginning. Didn't even expect to be acknowledg
Baby F i f t y - f i v e
He didn't stop me. He didn't even chase after me. I watched throw the tinted windows of my ride when we pulled away. Not once the door opens up.Why is our relationship so hard? Why can't we just be together, and that's it? "Why can't it be normal?""You said something back there?""No." Not at all. I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep, but God had other plans. As soon as my car pulled up in front of the building, the door opened, and I was yanked out. I didn't even have any time to react. From one car to another, just like the movies. The door is slammed shut. I know that I have to keep my mouth shut.He doesn't touch me or say anything. I don't even move."Out." He says when the car starts to slow down."But-.""Out Dolores."I want to say he's angry, but I have seen him angry, which is not it. I do get out, but I take my time. Enough time to annoy and make him bark another order. The hand on the small of my back feels like a
Baby F i f t y - f o u r
My dress is too short and also from Forever21. I bet there's not a single woman in here with a 21-dollar dress. My pumps are from last year and my make-up, well, I did that myself. I almost took an hour to get the perfect winged eyeliner, and now I felt like a rag-doll. My technique with the contour kit I had was minimal; it was just red lipstick and mascara. The rest, the rest looked good thanks to my forever tanned skin."I love that dress. Where is it from?"I don't want to say. I also don't want to be here and keep pretending like I belong here."I really don't remember, it was something I had in my closet." I shrug and mentally kick myself. It had been out of the blue purchase. He had asked me if I had a suitable dress and I had said yes. After he left, I ran to the nearest open store and bought the dress after trying it on. After watching myself in the mirror with the complete ensemble, I'm sure I looked decent. Liam liked. He'd said it. So that was all th
