Second step

     "These pancakes are an absolute heaven, Mr. Matvey, but you shouldn't have bothered..."

     "Nonsense, nonsense. There are so many of them just for the three of us. Eat them all and if you want more, don't be shy to grab another one from the plate. I will leave them on the table so you can serve yourself anytime."

     I stuffed my mouth full, muffling the groan which was threatening to betray my annoyance. All my life I thought Ryder was a raging homophobe. He hated me for being gay and I hated him for being a homophobe. But this person next to me right now seemed to be anything but homophobic.

     My papa was a crossdresser and my dad was a trans man and many people had judged them and gave them a hard time over the years. When I was young I would hear people calling them names on the street, teachers would talk to me as if they pitied me for having "mentally ill" parents and kids would make fun of me, saying I will grow up to be a "freak" just like my parents. Every single word, and every single bruise embroidering mine and sometimes even papa's skin would fuel my hate against homophobia.

     However, Ryder has been nothing but polite and respectful towards my parents. He was playing the good boy card, trying to win them over in order to get this job. But I would not let him get away with it. I would show my parents his true colors. 

     “So, Ryder, as you can see I have two fathers.” I said, sipping on my tea.”What is your opinion towards homosexuality?”

     Ryder gulped his last piece of pancake, offering my father a small grateful nod.

     “Well, I am okay with gay people. They can do what they want with their lives as long as they don’t get me involved in their... uhm… business.”

    This is what I assumed Ryder would say. Or something between the lines: “I accept them, but I don’t agree with their lifestyle.” But no, he had to furrow his brows and talk with such gravity it made my dads nod throughout his whole speech:

    “I find it sad that being gay hasn’t been normalized already. You never ask a person ‘Hey, my parents are straight. Are you okay with it?’. Gay persons always have to seek acceptance while straight people are born with it. This is not only sad, but also unfair. And the fact that society has fueled the flames of homophobia all these years is simply idiotic. We’ve been taught to hate on love. Can you hear how absurd this sounds?”

     I was shocked… stunned into silence. Was this boy even real? Did he even hear himself? How-how hypocritical and fake he sounded!

     But he succeeded to fool my fathers. My papa even smiled broadly at him, placing another pancake on his plate.

     “It is true, hun. My love is harmless, but homophobes are not. However, the world is slowly changing. I hope in a few dozens of years homophobia will become taboo.”

      “We are slowly-very slowly- getting there.”

       My nose wrinkled in disgust at Ryder’s fake responses, my lips sealing once again over my cup of tea before speaking.

       “But what about cross-dressers? I recall you weren’t too fond of them.”

      Ryder’s complexion darkened, his fists clenching so hard his knuckled turned white.

     I sipped on my tea.

     “Saying I am not too fond of cross-dressers would be hypocritical as I am the one who buys my little brother’s skirts and make up, Carter.”

      The tea suddenly scraped against my throat, making me cough vehemently. My dad stretched on his chair, hitting my back twice with his palm.

        “Are you okay, son?”

        “No.”

         My dad only nodded, turning his attention to papa and Ryder who were now talking about his little brother and dresses. At this rate, they’d not only hire Ryder, but also adopt him. He would inherit all their wealth whilst I would become a human chair in his luxurious heterosexual house.

       Shaking the silly thought away I started to play with my cup of tea, thinking how I could take rid of this situation… and I had to come up with something fast as my dads were about to leave for work in a few. 

     I took two big gulps of my tea then slammed the cup on the table, leaning back on my wheelchair.

       “By the way, Ryder, how old are you? If I recall right, you are still 18, right?”

      Ryder nodded, opening his mouth to speak. But I went ahead and continued, “Wouldn’t it be kind of strange to hire someone younger than me as my caregiver, dads?  I mean yes, there are lots of young caregivers, but could you have reliance in Ryder? He is a boy my age, not too brilliant at school and also a football player. People like us are not too responsible.”

      My dad chuckled, standing up and making his chair scrape against the floor with an annoying noise.

       “Oh, Carter, haven’t you heard what your papa and Ryder had talked until now? Ryder has taken care of his brothers since he first started hitting puberty. You can’t compare him with you who call your popcorn cockporn.”

         My mouth parted in indignation, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment as Ryder turned to look at me with a smug sneer plastered on his face.

       I quickly lifted my cup to my mouth only to realize it was empty and I was slurping on mere air.

       “Still, taking care of his brothers, of school and training… it would be too tiresome for Ryder.”  I insisted desperate.

       “Not in the slightest. My brothers are well taken care of now. I can manage school and training…and you, Carter.”

         Ryder smirked for the last time before burying his face in his own cup of tea and taking big, loud gulps until he finished the sweet beverage. I was left just to watch as him and my dads stood up and walked towards the door of the kitchen.

        “Well then, boys, we will leave now. Ryder, this will be like a trial day for you. Make sure Carter takes his vitamins and actually gulps them. He hates pills so he always spits them out.” My dad patted Carter’s shoulder, looking at him with sympathy. “Good luck, boy.”

       “Good luck, hun. You will need it.” My papa said, making me cross my hands around my chest and roll my eyes. Yes, maybe I made my last caregiver resign… and the one before… and the four others before that… but my parents didn’t need to be so dramatic. I’ve never put any of my caregivers in danger. Well, except for Jeff, but Jeff was one insistent son of a bitch.

     I was broke out of my daze as my papa leaned over and placed a kiss on my forehead. Then he turned around and proceeded to rush out the door…

…but not before screeching a loud “behave” in my direction.

    

                                 ✾

      "Listen," I began after I made sure my dad's car left the garage,turning my wheelchair to face Ryder. "You can stay here and pretend to be a good employee. I won't bother you if you don't bother me. Of course you'll still be paid by my parents, but you won't have anything to do with me. Leave me alone and I will make your life a lot easier. Understood?"

       I proceeded to leave, but Ryder suddenly walked forward, stopping a few inches in front of me. He then leaned over and caged my wrists against the handles of my wheelchair, covering them entirely with his big palms. His face was inches away from mine, his steady breath wrestling hastily with my now quivering one. His muscles flexed and his back arched, his plump lips curling in a smirk...my eyes shamelessly trained on them...until Ryder spoke up and broke whatever spell he succeded to cast on me.

     “You have to take your vitamins after each meal, right, Carter?”

     Without waiting for my answer Ryder freed my wrists and walked around my wheelchair, stopping only when he was behind me and he started pushing me towards the bathroom.

     “Ryder! Stop pushing me! Haven’t you heard what I told you?” I grabbed at the wheels oh my wheelchair, trying to make it stop.

       “Stop!…I said stop!!” I started to trash around, my hands turning numb as I tried to keep my wheels unmoved. And unmoved they stood...but Ryder was able to push me regardless, the rubber no longer rolling but rather rubbing against the floor.

       “You devil! Let me go!”

      “Ok.”

       I looked at Ryder, just now realizing he succeded to carry me all the way to the bathroom. He locked the door and place his foot against it, making sure I had no way to excape. Then he bent towards the cabinet and took out two red bottles semi filled with pills.

      “Which ones are the vitamins? Your dad told me they have a red recipient.”

       “The ones in the left.” I mumbled without even looking.

       “Here it writes sennosides. I never knew laxatives have vitamin C in them, Carter.”

      

     “Well, now you know. If you could read what was written on the bottle why even bother asking me?”

        Again, Ryder didn’t respond. He just put the bottle of laxatives aside and dropped the vitamin one in my lap.

      “Take your pills.”

       I stubbornly crossed my arms around my chest.

      “Carter, take your vitamins.”

       I stood unmoved, admiring how Ryder’s scowl became wider and wider.

      “Carter...Ok.”

      I rose a brow, wondering what he meant by ok. Did he finally agree to my proposal? Or he just gave up on trying to make me eat my vitamins?

     None. He just took the bottle from my lap, dropped a pill in his palm and lifted it towards his mouth. I just looked up at him in confusion.

      “If you don’t take your vitamins by yourself I will give them to you.”

        I furrowed my brows, watching Ryder place the pill in his mouth and lean over. Realizing what he wanted to do I stretched my hand forwards and pushed his face aside.

      “Fuck off! I will take it by myself.”

      Ryder stuck his tongue, showing me the vitamin.

        “You can keep that one. I will take another.”

      He shrugged, closed his mouth and swallowed it. In the meantime I also took a pill and stuffed it in my mouth.

       “Swallow.”

      I did.

       “Open your mouth.”

     I did.

      “Lift your tongue.”

     I did... and I smiled afterwards.

      “Am I free to go now? I want to go to the garden and play my guitar while it is still sunny outside.”

       Ryder nodded, satisfied with himself.

       I turned my wheelchair, unlocked the door and strolled out of the bathroom. Once in the garden I opened my mouth, slid my finger on the space between my cheek and upper teeth and took out a white pill, throwing it in the grass where many other pills had found their demise.