Maverick

I’m fuming. The urge to run after Josie, carry her off caveman style fueled me. I don’t, because people are around, and they wouldn’t understand, I don’t understand.

Things are different here. We’re not in high school anymore, and I don’t have a band of loyal followers that thought whatever I did was okay. It wasn’t. I knew deep down it wasn’t. The torment I put Josie through was not okay.

Regardless, every time I looked into her doe eyes, I felt anger, frustration and the over-conflicting emotion to kiss her or shove her down. Let her know how much she torments my nightmares.

Fighting the urge to chase her, I walked toward my next class and tried to cool my head. Football helped at first, at least it took the edge off for me, but now, having her at LSU forced all those unwanted feelings into overdrive.

My phone vibrated in my jeans. I answered with a sharp, “What?”

“Ouch,” Jordan said. “Are we on our period?”

I sighed, running my palm down my face. “What do you need?”

The sound of keys jiggling and a door slamming sounded from the other end. “I wanted to tell you. I just checked the apartment and it looks like your little friend has decided to stay for a bit. Her bag is here.”

Unable to stop it, nerves shot down my spine. I wanted her there, but I didn’t. Seeing her living in the backseat of her car couldn’t happen. We’d survive for a while. I think.

“You there?” Jordan asked.

“Yeah, thanks for checking,” I said. “I’m about to head into class. I’ll see you tonight.” I hung up the phone and shoved it back into my pocket.

There was nothing like some English Lit to calm my nerves—or put me to sleep.

***

Jordan met me at the cafeteria. His stupid sloppy grin widened when I slid into the booth opposite of him. “Did you hear about the Fraternity party this Friday?”

I shrugged, tightening the tortilla around my taco before taking a bite. “Yeah, what about it.”

Jordan nodded as if I knew what that meant. “We’re going.”

“Okay.”

Jordan rolled his eyes. “What died in your butthole, dude? You’ve been a real piece of work these last two days.”

I didn’t bother arguing. Being near Josie did that to me.

He glanced across the cafeteria and he laughed. “Speaking of the culprit.”

I glanced up, following his gaze to a corner booth on the opposite side of the room. Josie sat with King and his roommate. I dropped my food, thankful my forearms braced my hands above my plate or I would have slammed them down in irritation.

King sat with her. With Josie Lee.

Jordan’s goofy laughed pissed me off more. “I mean—did he steal your girlfriend, Maverick?”

“Piss off,” I said. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jordan leaned back in his seat, one arm braced against the back of the booth. “Well, tell me,” he said, gesturing with his hand. “You’ve given me nothing to work with. What did this girl do to you, bro?”

Mixed emotions twirled inside of me. I wanted to talk to someone about it, I'd bottled them up inside of me for years, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want the pity, or the look of shock that I knew followed.

I just wanted to be alone.

When I didn’t answer, Jordan said, “Fine. But don’t get pissy when he takes her out. I have biology with him third period and I heard him say he planned to bring someone to the party, and I bet her name rhymes with Rosie.”

I balled my fist into a tight clutch. Why couldn’t I just let it go? I wanted to, really, I did, but I just couldn’t.

I finished my lunch, leaving Jordan without another word. I needed to go for a run before I exploded.

The evening slowly drew to a head as I parked in front of the apartment. Jordan’s pickup was absent but Josie’s Honda sat in the far corner. I groaned, knowing she’d be a few feet away from me, sleeping with only a flimsy wall between us.

You did this. You offered her to stay.

The apartment felt quiet and empty, but I knew by the light spewing from underneath her door that it wasn’t.

I flung my backpack into my room, kicked off my tennis shoes, and debated on speaking to her. What would I say? I didn’t know.

Instead, I shot my brother a text. Frankie was in tenth grade, obviously still living at home with our mother, and it worried me most days.

The instability of my mother gave me whiplash as a kid. I wanted better for Frankie.

Frankie: What up?

Me: Where is Mom?

I drug my t-shirt over my head, tossing it into the laundry basket in the corner of the room. I needed a hot shower to wash away my day and get my muscles ready for another practice in the morning.

Frankie: Don’t know. She hasn’t been home since last night.

My blood boiled. I felt my temper rise, my fingers twitching at my side.

Me: Have you eaten?

Frankie: Yeah. I made a pizza. Don’t worry. She’ll come back.

Made a pizza. A tenth grade boy shouldn’t have to eat Totinos every night of the week. I was surprised there was food in the house. I hadn’t been home in two weeks to bring groceries and when I had, the cabinets were empty.

Me: Everything else good?

Frankie. Yeah. It’s okay. You coming home soon?

I swallowed the dry lump in my throat, grabbed some boxers and calmed myself.

Me: As soon as I can. Let me know when Mom gets home.

I swung opened my door, the bathroom calling my name, when I ran into Josie. A soft oomph came out as I tumbled against her, catching myself against the hallway wall, her small body caught in-between.

Josie’s soft soap scent filled my nose, her back against the wall and her tits pressed against my chest. I was tall enough to put my chin on the top of her head; her small frame almost cowered away from me. I didn’t blame her.

My body urged me to get closer, drag her chin up and demolish her heart shaped lips, but I didn’t. I shoved against the wall with my palm, and took two safe steps away from her.

She already showered, the tips of her hair still damp, and she’d changed into pajama shorts. Her gaze lifted to mine slowly, and her teeth gnawed at her bottom lip. “I’m sorry … I didn’t realize you were coming out.”

I accept your apology. Is it really so hard to say? “Fine.”

Josie’s gaze lowered to her bare feet, and she sidestepped me, walking to the kitchen. My traitor eyes betrayed me—yet again—and I watched her small curves as she walked away from me.

The image of her sitting with King flashed across my mind. I heard the refrigerator open, my anger from my mom already had my body humming with annoyance, but now, the thought of King taking her anywhere turned me irate.

Josie stood in the kitchen nursing a cup of milk, her eyes somewhere far off when I rounded the corner. She looked up with shock on her face.

Don’t do it, Maverick. Leave her alone.

“I saw you with King today.”

Josie lifted an unbothered brow. “Yeah?”

My fingers clutched into a fist. “I told you to stay away from him, I know you heard me.”

Josie finished off her milk, slowly, turning her back to me while she washed the dish and put it in the cabinet. When she turned around, she looked annoyed that I stood there.

“What?” she asked. “I know you heard me tell you that I wasn’t afraid of you anymore. If I want to hang around King, I will.”

She openly defied me, something she never did in high school, and unfortunately, for her, the bad guy that lived within me ate that shit up. I chuckled—humorlessly—and took a step toward her. She didn’t flinch.

Her pouty mouth lured me in like a siren at sea. God—I wanted to kiss her. Then I really looked at her hazel eyes and remembered. And it all came crashing down.

“You won’t,” I whispered, taking another step toward her. She backed away, her backside hitting the counter behind her. “You won’t do anything I tell you not to do.”

Josie lifted her chin. “I don’t need your permission. I’ll screw him if I want.”

Hearing her pretty mouth say that word caused my jeans to tighten. I knew her virginity was still intact. No guy in high school dated her—because of me. I wanted her to feel ostracized as I had. 

Nothing would change. “He doesn’t want you,” I spit out. “No one does.”

I hated the hurt look that traveled across her face. “I guess we’ll see, hmm?” she said quietly, tilting her head before grabbing the carton of milk behind her.

“I’m warning you,” I bit out.

Josie turned on her heel. “I told you that won’t work anymore. I’m not your little puppet, your little submissive that you can abuse. I hate everything about you, Maverick. I hate that you’re at LSU, and I hate that I have to stay here. However, I won’t let you bully me anymore. I’m not going to graduate without having experiences and dare I say it, fun! If that includes a boy or the entire football team, excluding you, it won’t be up to you!”

The hate in her eyes drove my blood wild—the heat inside of me boiled—and I found myself stepping toward her, trapping her against the counter and myself. Josie’s breathing halted, her eyes widened and she shoved against my chest to no avail.

“Don’t touch me,” she whispered, her braveness slowly leaked out like a punctured balloon.

I chuckled, even though I felt out of control on the inside. Lowering my mouth to her ear, I whispered, “When I touch you … you’ll beg me for more.”

Josie’s bottom lip quivered and I felt myself gripping the edge of the counter beside her until my knuckles turned white. I wanted to kiss her … dammit, I wanted to demolish her mouth, show her what I could do for her right on the kitchen floor.

Instead, I stepped back, letting her hate for me grow like a wildfire. I needed her hate to keep me in check. To keep me in my right mind. If I gave in and kissed her, I wasn’t sure I’d hate her anymore, and that scared the little kid inside of me.