Her suppressed memory

“What are you not telling me you huge bastard?” Fellin came after him.  “I’m coming with you. You know it’s suicide to approach The Tower right?”

“I’m not going to The Tower.” Riordan replied.

“Then where?!” Fellin asked. “You said you were her target. Do you not know how dangerous it is for you to be out there?”

He smirked, remembering her hair flicking as she threw a punch into his jaw. Underestimating her wasn’t part of his plan.  She was powerful and fast and her reflexes were unmatched, a force to be reckoned with. His body thrummed with the thought of a rematch, coming face to face with her again and it shamed him. Winson’s killer had been right at his fingertips and he let her go. Worse, he had wrestled with the urge to take her hard on that sandy floor.

“Does it look like I cannot handle myself?” He asked his beta.

“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying it won’t be bad to have some backup anyway.” Fellin persisted.

“No. She is mine.” He growled.

He hesitated in killing her before, thanks to his stupid wolf. He wouldn’t hesitate the next time.

...

“You called for me?” Freya strutted into Aremin’s study.

“Another opportunity has presented itself.” Aremin replied. “Lady Rottenham is throwing another of her masquerade balls tomorrow evening and Riordan will be in attendance. I’ve gotten you an invite.” He replied.

Instantly, Freya’s gut erupted with nerves but she smiled instead, putting an expression of anticipation on her face because Aremin was watching her too closely.

“I will not fail you a second time.” She promised and she knew that a second failure was out of option. Aremin was still watching her and he steepled his fingers thoughtfully.

“Something happened on his wedding day, something that made you hesitate to kill him.” Aremin said slowly and her heart lunged again. How much did he suspect? She searched his face but he gave away nothing as usual.

“Nothing happened.” She lied smoothly and he raised his hands.

“You don’t have to tell me, yet... but I expect the whole truth from you eventually. In the meantime, I have something for you that should help your decision along.” Said Aremin as he rose.

She eyed him suspiciously as he pulled the lid of a chest open and brought out a vial.

“What’s that?” She asked, keeping her distance. The vial reeked of foreign magic.

“Something to help you remember.” Aremin replied, approaching her.

“Remember what?”

“What is the oldest memory you have?” He asked her.

“Here.” She breathed. “You.”

He smiled and stopped in front of her. “You have no recollection of who you were before you became Shadow, this vial will take you back and help you remember.”

An answer to all her questions in a single vial... Aremin offered it to her.

“You only have to drink it.”

For all Freya knew, she fell from the skies. The huge gap in her memory used to drive her crazy and she had so many questions. What if she had a father and a mother that were currently looking for her? What if they’d truly abandoned her? What if her father was an addict and her mother a whore and she was the mistake they didn’t want? The not-knowing was torture.

“Perhaps there is a good reason I can’t remember.” She drawled and Aremin smirked.

“Then perhaps I should keep this away-“

“No.” She interrupted him. “I’ll drink it.”

She reached for the vial but Aremin snatched it out of reach.

“Brace yourself.” He told her. “You are about to uncover a truth you have worked hard to shield yourself from.”

It wasn’t like him to fuss so much. She snatched the vial from him and dropped into a chair.

“I’ll be fine.” She said and she gulped the contents.

Nothing happened at first, then her head got drowsy.

“Aremin...” She whispered and reached for him. Vaguely, she felt his hands on her shoulders.

“Don’t fight it.” His voice whispered in her ear and her eyes rolled into her head. She thought she could still hear Aremin’s voice but it sounded like it was from another world entirely.

With a gasp, she opened her eyes and she was no longer in Aremin’s study. She was somewhere very strange and yet... painfully familiar. She was in her memories.

She was in a dark hole and something terrible was happening outside, she could feel it. Her fear of enclosed spaces crept up and she began to sweat.

“Focus Freya.” She heard hollowly. Aremin.

Her skin damp with apprehension, she peered out through the slit, expecting the worst and yet nothing could have prepared her for the sight.

“Mother.” She whispered with horror. In the worst thirty seconds of her life, Freya relived her parent’s last moments. The memory she had suppressed for so long... rage made her blood boil.

“Freya!” She heard Aremin calling her back but the dark shadow was creeping forward. Her parent’s killer stepped forward until the light bathed his face and Freya stared into her mate’s face with shock. While the memory of the girl scrambled back and shut her eyes tight, Freya felt her mind break. She went a little mad in that hole, seeing Riordan’s hard face again and again, surrounded by the expanding pool of blood. He took everything from her, her wrath knew no limits!

When the lid was pulled open, she didn’t hesitate, she lunged at him with a scream.

Her clawed fingers were gripped by strong ones and she threw her body into her opponent’s, tackling him to the floor.

“Freya! Get a hold of yourself!” Aremin snarled.

She was panting as her eyes cleared. She had Aremin pinned underneath her and her claws were at a critical spot at his jugular.

“It’s me.” He said and she collapsed shakily to the ground.

Aremin stared at her claws, something he had  never seen before and she didn’t have an answer for the question on his face, why her wolf was surfacing now after so many years.

“You knew.” She snarled, glaring at him.

“Knew what?!” He asked.

She shoved him away and stood shakily. “You knew about my parents and you kept it from me!” She screamed.

Aremin straightened and flicked the dust off his shirt.

“What use would the information had done for you?” He countered.

“It was not your information to withhold!” She gritted out.

Her heart burned in her chest from holding in the emotions raging in her. Her eyes stung but she had long forgotten how to cry. She hated him with so much passion! Him and her cursed mate.

“I withheld the information until the time was right.” He began but she cut him off. Just the sight of him made her sick.

“I don’t want to hear it. I’ll bring you Riordan’s head, and after that I’m done.” She said with finality and left, slamming the door closed behind her.

Riordan Savvey. It was either her life or his. She swore it.

...

“Your hand, my lady.” Prince Hans said with a flourish as he assisted Freya out of the carriage.

She smiled sweetly at him, pretending not to notice the way his hand lingered on hers a moment too long to be polite.

“Goodness gracious! Does all of this land belong to Lady Rottenham?” She stared at the sprawling view with stars in her eyes like she was truly dazzled. Prince Hans preened like the lands were his.

“It is. This is nothing compared to the lands I own, you should come see them someday. I’ll give you a tour.” He offered.

Freya lowered her eyes coyly like she was flustered at his blatant flirtation but she was itching with impatience.

“You flatter me, Your Highness.” She replied in an innocent voice and his chest expanded with self-importance. He took a step closer to her and she peered at him through her thick lashes, praying to whichever god or goddess cared to be amused by this evening to give her strength to endure this man until her mission was completed.

“Not at all.” He said, taking liberty when his hand slowly slid to her waist. She stiffened and he froze, afraid to set her off. “I could make you very happy, Lady Rosette.”

She forced a tight-lipped smile on her face and swallowed her scoff. She didn’t blame him, Aremin always said that her face and her body were also weapons in her arsenal. It was the weapon this spoiled prince swallowed hook, line and sinker. The poor soul believed she was Lady Rosette, a lady of humble roots from a faraway land that visited from time to time. Her last mission had required her to get close to the prince, close enough to grant her entry into an elite circle where her target hid. When the woman ended up dead at the end of that pleasant evening, she was the last person suspected. She would have easily slipped away like the shadows she is named after, but she did not predict that the prince she used would fall head over heels for her. She smiled wider, making a mental note to inform Aremin to kill Lady Rosette after this operation. The spoiled prince would no doubt bawl his eyes out but he had served his purpose and she didn’t want to suffer through this again.

“The ball awaits, Your Highness.” She reminded him sweetly and his face fell from disappointment. That only lasted a second before he slipped his arm through hers with a wide grin.

“Then we shouldn’t keep our gracious host waiting.” He replied smoothly.

Riordan was not here yet. That was the first thing she noticed when she stepped into the hall. The next thing was the undue attention she and her date received as they alighted the gazillion steps. None of the audience could see behind her mask but they whispered furiously about her behind cupped hands, speculating about who was on the arm of one of the most eligible bachelors in Ilyria.

“Prince Hans!” Lady Doria, an elite widow with too much more money than she knew what to do with left her date to glide forward. The sheer half mask on her face didn’t do much to hide her identity. “Lady Rottenham did not inform me you would be here.”

Prince Hans grinned, kissing her knuckles. “I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” He replied and Lady Doria’s stormy grey eyes fixed on her.

“Who is your date? I don’t think I’ve seen her before.” She said with a sugar sweet smile. Amused, Freya realised she wouldn’t even have to do much to ditch her date.

“Allow me to introduce Lady Rosette of Grenwich. Lady Rosette, meet Lady Doria of Steinburg.” He announced grandly but Lady Doria was far from impressed.

“Grenwich? I’ve never heard of that.” She sniffed.

“It’s a small farming town my lady.” Freya supplied. “On the Far East close to the Twin mountains.”

“You are very far from home then.” Said Doria, her eyes sparkling with calculation.

“I like to explore. If you’ll excuse me Prince Hans, Lady Doria, I need to use the restroom.” Freya made her excuse and glided away. Let the horny old lady have him.

“My Prince, I didn’t know you liked them so young. Has she even had her first bleed?” She heard Lady Doria whisper crassly.

“My Lady is of age.” Prince Hans replied and this time, she couldn’t stop her scoff. His lady? Luckily a group of men chuckled at the same time so the sound was lost.

She melted into the shadows and waited, ignoring her rapid heartbeat in her ears. He was close! Magic tingled at her fingertips and her wolf stretched against her skin.

“Mate!” Venna piped up excitedly.

“That is no mate of mine!” Freya snarled. Venna grew quiet, sharing the pain of the memory she just retrieved the day before.

“You may still be torn but I am not.” Freya told  her. “And if you sabotage my shot again today I swear I will mutt you for the rest of your life!”

“Sabotage your shot again?” Venna asked. “Yesterday wasn’t me.”

“Then was it me? I can shoot a pebble-sized target five miles away!” Freya countered.

“Exactly. Which is why it is curious that you missed.” Venna pointed out. Freya couldn’t believe her, trying to pin yesterday on her when she had been screaming in her head the entire time.

“I preferred it when you were silent.” She said and Venna did not say a word after that. Her wolf watched though, eager to find her mate again. The traitor.