6.Self- Pity

--Cassie--

We were in the garden, seated around a small wooden table, each of us with a steaming cup of tea in hand. The warm afternoon sun bathed us in a gentle glow, filtering through the leaves above and casting dappled patterns on the grass. The air was rich with the scent of blooming jasmine and roses from the nearby flowerbeds, and every now and then, a soft breeze rustled the leaves, carrying with it a hint of fresh earth and summer warmth.

Hailey and Michelle were lost in their usual chatter, still gushing over photos of Alessandro. They spoke in excited whispers, eyes wide with fascination, as they scrolled through the images. Their words, though mostly lighthearted, held an almost envious undertone that wasn’t hard to miss. Both seemed to wish they could swap places with me—to be the ones Alessandro had chosen. I thought, only half-joking, how I’d gladly grant them that wish if I could. This entire situation felt surreal, and if I was being honest, slightly overwhelming.

“He just uploaded a new picture from his swimming pool!” Michelle squealed, practically leaping from her seat as she hurried over to show me her phone screen. She held it out so I could see, her excitement contagious. I took the phone reluctantly, glancing at the image. Alessandro was in the pool, sunlight glistening on his wet hair as water droplets ran down his toned chest. He had one eye closed in a playful wink, his classic, effortless charm practically radiating from the screen. My breath hitched slightly as I stared longer than I intended, and I felt my face heat up.

Oh, stop it, Cassie! What in the world are you even thinking? I mentally chided myself, trying to push down the unexpected wave of attraction. Before I could respond, Lily leaned over, noticing my flushed cheeks, and burst into laughter. “Cassie! Your cheeks are so red! You totally like him, don’t you?” She teased, her laughter light and genuine.

“No, they’re not!” I protested quickly, raising my teacup to my lips and taking a sip, hoping the warm tea would somehow cool my cheeks down. My friends were relentless, though, sharing a knowing look and giggling. Their good-natured teasing was unrelenting, and I found myself smiling despite my initial embarrassment.

Just then, Michelle’s expression shifted, and she became more serious. “Where are we having the church ceremony on Saturday?” she asked, her brow furrowed as she looked at me. The question caught me off guard, pulling me back to reality. I blinked, taking a moment to process, and then answered truthfully, “I don’t actually know.”

I couldn’t keep up the lie any longer. So I told them the truth: everything about my engagement and upcoming wedding had been arranged from the start. As I spoke days ago, I searched their faces, half-expecting surprise or shock, but they only nodded calmly. There wasn’t even a flicker of disbelief, which, honestly, I found a little unsettling. I brushed it off, chalking it up to them knowing me well enough to expect something was amiss.

"Why are you staring at me like that, Michelle?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as her gaze lingered a moment too long.

“You mean to say,” she replied slowly, “that you don’t know where your own wedding will be held?”

I nodded, unable to hide the wry smile that tugged at my lips. “Nope. It’s been like this from the beginning. I never wanted this… arrangement, remember?”

Michelle gave me a sympathetic nod, and I could see a hint of understanding in her eyes. She was well aware of the circumstances that had brought us here, to this point of impending matrimony that I could hardly fathom myself. Still, it was a strange reality to be part of.

“What about the reception? Do you even know the location for that?” she asked, her tone only half-teasing.

I shook my head, letting out a dry laugh. “No idea,” I admitted, almost amused by how little I was actually involved in my own wedding planning.

“Your father must be busy, then,” she remarked with a soft sigh. “It seems like the De Lucas are doing everything, aren’t they?”

I couldn’t help but smirk. “Well, that’s what they get for pushing me into an arranged marriage,” I said with a hint of satisfaction. Though it was all a bit absurd, the thought made me feel just the tiniest bit empowered. Michelle and Hailey exchanged a glance before bursting into laughter, as if they found my small defiance both endearing and amusing. Their knowing looks sparked a curiosity in me, though. I tilted my head, looking between them.

“Alright, what’s with the secret glances?” I asked, a touch suspicious. “You two have been looking at each other like that all afternoon.”

“Oh, it’s nothing, really. We’re not even doing anything like that,” Hailey replied quickly, but the nervous edge to her voice gave her away. I arched an eyebrow, wondering if they were keeping something from me. Whatever it was, they were clearly in no hurry to spill the beans.

Just then, Aunt Sophia’s voice carried across the garden, breaking the moment. “Lunch is ready, girls! Come to the dining room,” she called, waving us inside. Relieved for a change in pace, we followed her, the promise of food sparking a new energy in the air.

As we entered, the aroma of roasted meats filled the dining room, drawing smiles from all of us, but especially from Michelle and Hailey. They were die-hard meat lovers and could devour entire turkeys without a hint of regret. It was one of their peculiar traits—no matter how much they ate, they never seemed to gain an ounce. I watched as they eyed the dishes with undisguised anticipation, already planning which servings to pile onto their plates.

Meanwhile, my thoughts drifted back to them, to the hidden glances, to their strange, silent exchanges that hinted at secrets they weren’t ready to share with me. I tried to shake off the feeling, but it kept nagging at me. My mind circled back to my two best friends, wondering if they were hiding something that might have changed things for me, or perhaps something about Alessandro and this elaborate arrangement I was now part of.

I took a deep breath, choosing to focus on the present moment instead. I brushed the thoughts aside and focused on my meal, savoring each bite of the perfectly cooked steak. The meat was tender and juicy, seasoned just right, melting in my mouth with every chew. Across the table, the Italian maid whose name I’d forgotten—Giulia, maybe?—stood quietly in the far corner, her gaze fixed on us with a small, polite smile. Her presence made me uneasy, as though she were studying us too intently, waiting for something to happen.

“You can join us, you know,” I offered, trying to be friendly despite the awkwardness her silent watchfulness had created. Her smile faltered a little, and she shook her head politely.

“No, Lu- Miss Cassie, I’m fine,” she replied softly. “I’ll have my lunch after you all are done.”

Hailey and Michelle exchanged a quick glance, then looked back at their plates. I’d noticed this habit of hers before; it was like she almost wanted to call me something other than my name, but always caught herself in time. The sense of familiarity mixed with her hesitance gave me an odd feeling, yet I couldn’t place why.

“Do you two not like her?” I whispered, leaning toward Hailey and Michelle. The question caught them off guard, and they both choked a little on their water before quickly stifling their laughter.

“It’s not that we don’t,” Hailey whispered back, her voice barely audible. “She just… well, she’s a bit odd, don’t you think?”

I shrugged and returned to my meal, trying not to overthink things. There was enough on my mind already, with the wedding just two days away. As I ate, the anxiety I’d been pushing down slowly crept back.

Later, once Hailey and Michelle had left, I felt the weight of everything settle on me fully. The emptiness of the house, the eerie silence that followed their departure, seemed to echo my own sense of loneliness. I stepped into the shower, hoping the warm water would soothe me. But as the steam filled the room, my emotions broke free. Tears mingled with the water, streaming down my face as I thought about the wedding—the formality of it all, the reality of what I was about to commit to. An arranged marriage to someone I barely knew, Alessandro, a man with a reputation for charming every woman in sight.

Dad had visited earlier, his eyes red and weary, though he’d insisted he hadn’t cried. He’d come bearing a box filled with necklaces and bracelets—beautiful, delicate pieces encrusted with diamonds and woven with strands of gold. Each item was breathtaking, clearly chosen with love and care. Dad had said they were heirlooms, meant to be passed down from one generation to the next. His unspoken words lingered in the air, weighing heavily on my heart. As he handed me the box, he whispered that he hoped I’d wear them with pride, as a symbol of my new life. The sadness in his eyes was unmistakable.

I’d put on a brave face for him, but as I stood there alone, I felt as though I were drowning. I didn’t want this marriage, yet here I was, preparing for it as if it were the happiest day of my life. But I knew that once I was married, things would change irrevocably. My freedom, my choices—all of it would be tied to Alessandro.

Still, I had a plan. I’d use any excuse I could to come back here to see Dad, Aunt Sophia, and Viola. Alessandro wouldn’t care; he’d be off somewhere, no doubt with another girl on his arm. The image gave me a strange sense of relief. Perhaps he would be so distracted that he wouldn’t notice how often I planned to be away.

With that thought, a small spark of happiness bubbled up inside me. I knew it was a flimsy plan, that it wouldn’t solve anything in the long term, but it gave me a shred of hope. Just the idea of coming back here, of spending time with my family, of slipping away from the suffocating life that awaited me, felt like a lifeline.

Wrapping myself in a towel, I took a deep breath, looking at my reflection in the mirror. There was a steely determination in my eyes. Even if this marriage was happening against my will, I’d find a way to hold onto myself.