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Sixty-Three

Maria

I slowly open the box and take out the test. My hands tremble as I read the instructions. I follow them carefully, making sure to get enough urine on the strip. As I stare at the tiny stick, I feel like I'm holding my entire future in my hand. A sudden wave of nausea washes over me, and I wonder if it's just nerves or a sign that I really am pregnant. When it passes, I set the test on the counter and wait for the results.

I pace back and forth in front of the sink, trying to calm my doubting thoughts. The minutes drag by, and I'm scared to look at the test. I don't want to know. I don't want this to be happening. As I wait, my mind plays out scenarios. None of them are good. Am I really pregnant? And if so, what will Mikhail do when he finds out? Fear squeezes my heart like a vise.

If he's willing to use me for bait, what will he do to my child?

Finally, I can't take not knowing anymore. I take a deep breath and look at the test, and my heart free falls into my stomach.

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