Ch. 85 A Difficult Decision

Kat’s POV

As soon as the door closed behind him, the dam broke. I cried so hard my whole body was wracked with it. I laid there for what felt like hours, letting out all the grief I’d been holding onto. All the pain I thought I had dealt with long ago but had really just locked away somewhere deep inside me.

I grieved for the person I had been but could no longer find within myself. When did I become this weak, insecure creature? I used to be so confident, so self-assured. Once upon a time, I believed I deserved to be happy, to be loved. Why couldn’t I believe my own mates found me worthy?

I cried for the loss of my mom. After my conversation with Elder Alma, I had come to understand that the grief I had felt as a teenager had really been my father’s, shared with me through my ‘gift.’ It had been all-consuming for so long, then one day I just decided I had mourned long enough and, somehow, I locked it away.

Now I knew I had never really processed my own loss. So I let myself fe