CHAPTER 5

The night before...

Dom

I don't want to know what's going on in that fucking Lohan's head. What the fuck is that taking Kiki on a yacht? Damn, I was very clear when I said there wouldn't be a next time. I don't want him, or anyone for that matter, near her, for fuck's sake! What's so hard about understanding? When Vlad called yesterday telling me that Lohan gave me a dress and a necklace, I was already pissed. When I got the same call today, saying that there was going to be a little yacht ride, I had no other option but to return from Paris. I left Maurice with the investors in a spin. The trip was supposed to be a week long, he would have managed to resolve everything he needed to, and the only thing that worked was the detective. I hired the best. It's the first time in my life that I've put work aside to resolve something of this magnitude, and it's ridiculous. It's unbelievable that Lohan challenged me. I arrive at the skyscraper and make my way to Lohan’s apartment, on the upper floors of the Tour Odéon. My footsteps are heavy, echoing in the marble-clad entrance hall. Disbelief mergeswith an uncontrollable rage, a rage I never imagined I’d feel for my friend. With my mind buzzing with destructive thoughts, I head straight to the private elevator. The doors close softly and the elevator rises in its silent ascent. Each floor that passes fuels my fury even more. I don’t understand why this affects me so much, but I’ll never allow anyone to mess with what is mine.

When I reach the floor, the doors open to reveal the elegant hallway, with subtle lighting and artwork printed on the walls. I walk to the entrance of the apartment, entering the biometrics to allow access. I pass through the entrance hall and soon find myself in the living room, where the windows stretch from floor to ceiling, revealing a view of the Mediterranean. I find Lohan on the sofa, talking on his cell phone. Hearing my footsteps, he turns towards me, surprised. I don't give him time to say anything and I already anticipate him:

“What the fuck is this yacht trip? You fucking asshole!”, I spit the words, breathing heavily with anger.

“It's Dom, yes... I'll call you later, Simon”, Lohan says, ending the call and throwing the phone on the couch, “Good night, Dom…”

“Good night my ass! What the fuck are you doing? I was clear when I said I don't want anyone involved with her, damn it”, I clench my fists, “You're trying to walk all over me. I already told you it's my problem.”

Lohan, confused, stands up.

“Wait, you're saying you don't want anyone involved with her because she's a problem, because you don't know who she is, because you don't want any mess in your house, that's one thing. But saying I'm walking all over you because I took her out? That's weird”, Lohan speaks calmly.

“Listen here, you son of a bitch, there's nothing strange. I saved Kiki, I picked her up from the street, I took care of her, I gave her food, clothes, I even gave her a name. And now you want to take her away from me?”

Lohan, incredulous, approaches, staring at me.

“You’re my brother, but not everything will be as you want. I like her, I like Kiki, unlike you, who can't stand the girl. What's the problem?”

I shake my head. I don't need an excuse, she's mine. If I hadn't protected her, she wouldn't even be alive.

“You've always picked up women wholesale like me and now you're coming with this fucking sentimental talk. Who are you trying to fool? The crazy woman or me? Because you won't fool me or her, you're not getting close, you son of a bitch.”, I say, harshly.

Lohan nods, exhaling.

“This is none of your business. The only one who can say "no" to this situation is Kiki, not you”, Lohan keeps his voice soft, which makes me even more pissed off — The way you're telling me, it seems like you adopted her like a street cat, Dom. And Kiki is much more than that to me.

I've never heard him talk about anyone like that and I want him to fuck off. He should talk to anyone, except Kiki.

“Take it however you want. I didn't come here to give you any warning, you asshole. Kiki is mine, damn it!”, I say, full of it.

Lohan runs his hand through his hair, putting his hand in his pocket.

“Do you seriously want to fight me over pussy?”, Lohan asks, in disbelief.

I clench my jaw. My answer is a true yes, with my hand closed and hard on his face, feeling my anger boil and the dull sound of the impact echoing through the room. Lohan staggers back, tripping on the couch before regaining her balance. His eyes are now burning with fury and he brings his hand to his face where my fist hits him, checking for blood. When he confirms it, the expression of confusion gives way to fierce determination.

“You fucker…”, Lohan murmurs, before advancing.

He launches himself at me and our bodies collide. The impact throws us against the coffee table, knocking over magazines and a vase of flowers that shatter on the floor. The pain of the impact only fuels the hatred. Lohan stands up and begins to strangle me standing up, from behind. His arm wraps tightly around my neck. With a sudden movement, I push him against the wall, making a work of art tremble and almost fall. My vision is blurred by anger or lack of air and all I want is to make him understand that he can't walk all over me.

“Kiki is mine, damn it!”

 I scream, feeling the adrenaline pumping through my veins as I try to grab his legs and knock him down. He lets out a grunt of effort, using his knee to try to hurt me. I manage to dodge and push him hard, losing control over him. Lohan looks at me, panting, but with a resolute expression. We approach on guard and exchange tired blows. Punches and even headbutts. Both of us injured, blood running down and breathing heavily.

I step away, and the silence between us is heavy. Lohan wipes the blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes still fixed on mine, disappointed, enraged.

“This won't solve anything, Dom”, he says, his voice low and frustrated, “I'm not backing down.”

“Neither am I.”

“And that's what happened, Vlad”, I place an ice pack on my face.

“And you intend to ignore years of friendship for her?”, Vlad asks, curiously.

“I don't, he apparently does.”

The security guard frowns in confusion.

“From what you just told me, you were the one who knocked first, sir.”

“That's a detail. It doesn't matter.”

I snort, putting my hand on my head, upset. And if that wasn't enough, I took out my hatred for Lohan on Kiki. I tried to dodge, but she was the reason, and when I laid eyes on the damn dress and the necklace, I got really pissed. I almost lost my temper and ripped it off, taking off the damn necklace with it, which in my eyes looked more like a collar. He's not going to mark what's mine, I won't allow it. I hear knocks on the office door.

“Come in”, I say.

“Sir”, Nicola, the head of security, enters the room seriously, “Kiara left. With a suitcase and apparently on her way to Blanca de la Rosa's mansion.”

I just look at him and with a brief nod, dismiss him. Holy shit! I can't believe she left just because I told the truth! Vlad is bothered by the information, running his hand over his neck, looking worried.

“Fucking ungrateful, you see?”, I say, letting go of the ice and standing up, “Here's the thing, I'm not going to do anything for now, she's all pissed off. Send the escort over there to keep watch, Vlad.”

“Right... I won’t refrain from telling you that I'm worried about her not staying here, it's the safest place.”

I agree.

“But Kiki doesn't think so. We can't do anything right now and, if you want to know, I don't care. That's all for today, Vlad”, I say, also dismissing him.

His gaze seems reluctant, but he turns, heading for the door, returning his attention to me.

“And Lohan?”, he asks.

“Let him try whatever he wants, who's to say he'll succeed?”, I take out a cigarette, lighting it, feeling slightly nervous.

Vlad nods and leaves, closing the door behind him, leaving me alone in the office.

Damn, everything went wrong! I shouldn't have taken it out on her, dammit. But fuck it, now I have to find a way to make her want to come back here. Because she will. Lohan can try to confront me all she wants, nothing will change. I can't help but feel worried, tense, thinking that I've lost the crazy one again...

Two nights later…

The first round began with Louis placing an ace of hearts on the table. Simon, my partner, placed a 5 of diamonds, a low card. Pierre, Louis’ partner, placed a 3 of hearts, increasing the pressure. I decided to act. Confidently, I placed the 7 of hearts on the table. Louis frowned. He knew that this card was one of the strongest in the game.

“Truco!”, I shouted, raising the bet.

We’re betting Louis’ Bugatti Chiron. Of course I’m going to win. Louis hesitated, looked at Pierre, who shrugged, and then replied:

“Six!”

I look at Simon, who nods.

“Nine!”, I countered.

Louis shook his head.

“I take it.”

In the second round, Louis played a 2 of diamonds and Simon responded with a 4 of spades. Pierre played a Jack of clubs, trying to take the lead. Calmly, I placed the 3 of spades on the table, winning the round. The third round was quick. Louis played a jack of hearts, Simon a king of clubs and with a victorious smile, I played the 4 of clubs.

“Hand over the key to my new baby”, I gesture with my hand.

Louis throws it in the air and I catch it with a quick reflex.

“Hey, it's ours”, Simon says.

“My brother, you know I don't share what's mine, right? What do you think about us having a last round? If you win, it's yours. If I win, I'll take your Porsche and the Bugatti”, I bet, confident.

“If I win, you'll give me the Bugatti and let me choose any video game from your collection, okay?”, Simon says, convicted.

I hear the front door open and hear high heel footsteps on the floor. Kiki's figure appears in the room and everyone's eyes are fixed solely on her. She walks elegantly, wearing a tight navy dress that highlights her curves. The straps fall on her shoulders, leaving me mesmerized. Her loose, straight hair sways with the lightness of her steps, making me look at the ensemble with a mixture of admiration and fascination. Look who's back...

“Hi, boys”, she says to Louis, Pierre and Simon, but doesn't even look in my direction

“Hi, Kiki”, they say, in choir.

She doesn't give anyone time to say anything. Kiki simply steps into the elevator and the doors close soon after. I ruffle my hair, irritated. I feel a fleeting sense of unease. The speed with which she came in and out seems to have taken everyone's breath away, especially mine. Holy shit! Everything was fine, the last two days were calm, I pretended she didn't exist and it worked until now. I wasn't going to give her a stage for rebellion.

“Wow, she's so bangable”, Pierre says.

I find his face very bangable right now.

“True”, Louis agrees.

“You don't even need dessert with an ass like that”, Pierre finishes.

I throw the Bugatti key in Simon's direction.

“Take this shit, I don't need it”, I retort.

“And who said I need this handout?”, Simon refutes, “If it's not to play, it's no fun. Take it back, Louis.”

He throws it to him.

“I'm out. It's already been bet. Take it, Pierre”, Louis throws the key to Pierre.

“I'll do a good deed”, Pierre affirms.

“Shove it up your ass, if you want”, I say, standing up.

I head to the elevator, leaving the guys talking shit. What does she think this is? A playground where kids come and go whenever they want? When I get to the floor, I go to her room, walking quickly down the hallway. I open the door without caring, after all, it's my goddamn house.

“Have you decided to come back?”, I ask.

Kiki is coming out of the closet, holding some cans and pieces of clothing, I look at her in disbelief. She walks past me, without answering, throwing everything into a bag with thick handles.

“I'm talking to you”, my tone is firm.

And I'm ignored. What a bitch! Kiki walks to the suite and I follow her closely, watching her as she picks up some creams on the pink marble countertop. When I'm about to reach her, I wrap my arms around her from behind, surprising her. What she's holding in her hands slips from her fingers, scattering on the floor with a soft sound of impact. When she turns to me, I see the surprise in her eyes quickly turn into an expression of soft anger. Her rigid posture and the hands that try to push me away show her irritation, but also a caution. I hold her delicate wrists tightly and place her sitting on the cold stone of the countertop. The shine of the marble contrasts with the intensity of her eyes. It's like we're in a power game, she emanates an electric current that leaves me intrigued.

“Are you mad, my dear?” I ask, cynically.

Her breathing intensifies as I approach and hold her face with one hand.

“Say I'm yours again, and I'll roll your tongue around the tap!”

“It's only a matter of time before you understand that you are”, I slide my index finger from her forehead to the tip of her upturned nose, feeling the soft texture of her skin, “Let's talk. I hate doing this, but it's necessary.”

“I don't wanna talk to you”, she says, harshly.

I get between her legs, holding her thighs, lightly caressing them with my thumb, noticing her skin shivering.

“When I say you're mine, it's because I'm responsible for you, Kiki. I take care of you, I give you cans, clothes, a first and last name…”

Kiki agrees, frowning in disbelief.

“I get it, I'm not an object…”

“Of course not.”, I say, stroking her cheek.

“The way you say it, I'm a pet you rescued from the street!”, she says loudly, slapping my hand away

“No! It's like that, but it's different.”

Kiki holds my chin, staring straight into mine.

“Just know that just because you helped me, you're not going to rub my gesture in my face, and what's more: you could have left me at that damn bus stop, you didn't because you didn't want to. I'm not your object, nor your pet, because the only animal here is you, Dominique. I'm not going back to this house, I came to get my things and I'm going to stay with Blanca.”

I'm shocked, but, at the same time, angry. How can she not understand a simple thing? Kiki pushes me away and stomps to the bedroom and I follow her, grabbing her arm.

“You're staying with me”, I get upset.

“Do you want me to stay? Why?”, her breathing is ragged, “To ignore me? To say that I'm inconvenient? To say that I do everything wrong? To get rid of my cans? To talk about my charisma? If you want that, do it. But it won't be with me. I'm not one of those people who accept being stepped on by you or anyone else, let's be clear. When you become a person, we'll talk”, Kiki pulls her arm, “If I want.”

Kiki grabs her bag from the bed, and I find myself stunned, I see her slam the door. The noise makes me come back to reality and go after her.

“Kiki!”, I shout in the hallway, “I'm not done yet!”

“Fuck it, I am!”

I see Kiki enter the elevator and, instinctively, I take a few quick steps to catch up with her. I stand in front of her, staring into her hazel eyes for a brief moment, before the doors close abruptly.

“Fuck!”, I slam the door with everything, resting my head on my arm, against the metal surface.

Kiki???

The elevator door opens and I try to hold back this feeling of anguish until I get back to Blanca's house. I hate feeling what he causes in me, all these feelings together make me dizzy. It's not possible that Dominique doesn't understand what he's saying. Am I devastated and vulnerable? My God! What's happening to me? When I hear the elevator thud and the doors open, I find Pierre, Simon and Louis sitting on the couch, looking at me intrigued.

“Hey, Kiki.”, Pierre's strong voice makes me look in his direction and throw something. I quickly grab it, finding a car key.

“What's that for?”, I ask, confused.

“I already have one in that color. You can have this one”, Pierre winks, turning his attention to Louis and Simon, who are talking.

“Thank you?”, I say, perplexed.

Holding the bag with one hand, I approach the couch.

“Let me tell you something before I go.”

The three of them fix their attention on me, attentive.

“For any purpose, I'm your personal stylist, okay?”, I say, already leaving, in a hurry, not even giving a chance for an answer.

“Whoa! Hold on”, Simon says.

I close my eyes briefly, turning on my heels. I find his dark quiff well aligned, while he takes a drag of the weed he smokes.

“Six in the morning. Because we already do everything together at the gym here.”, he finishes.

“What?”, I frown, confused.

“You're a personal stylist and you don't want to wake up early?”, Louis says, drawing his attention to me.

“She’s a clothing personal stylist, you idiots”, Pierre takes the lead, showing them the screen of his cell phone.

“Ahhhhh”, they say together.

“Damn, Kiki. That's not okay, right? Are you saying I dress badly?”, Simon says, offended.

“Far be it from me, you guys dress so well that I just want the credit. If the women at the casino ask if I'm the consultant, confirm it. Tell them I'm great”, I say as I press the button on the key to lock and unlock the doors.

“If that's all, fine by me”, Louis agrees.

Pierre and Simon also agree.

“Deal”, I wave, heading for the door, “Thanks again, Pierre!”

“We're here when you need us.”

I look at the key for a second, a little confused and shocked by Pierre's randomness. After all, it's the key to a Bugatti Chiron. I return to the elevator and go down to the garage. When I get out, I start pressing the alarm device, trying to locate the car. Then, on the opposite side of Dominique's cars, I see the black Bugatti with orange outlines unlock. I stand there for a moment, admiring the beauty of the vehicle, walk towards it, get in and start the car right away.

The last few days have been complicated, because I haven't been able to sleep much. I helped Odette and Geneviève, and they loved my work. I don't know if I worked in fashion in my old life, but I'm doing really well. It's so natural to do this, and I know fashion. They even recommended me to other friends. My week is full of clients, even though I've never been a personal stylist. Who knows. What if I was?

Despite trying to occupy my mind, it's hard to concentrate on anything after that night. I'm upset with Dominique, but, at the same time, I can't stop thinking about him. Things like: "What the hell is he doing?", even though I'm not interested. Didn't he stop for a second to think about the terrible things he said to me? Comparing me to an animal was extremely disappointing. What a clown. Thinking about all this makes my stomach turn. I'm definitely not feeling well. It's hard to keep my cool.

I keep reliving the scene in my mind, the sly, cynical expression. How can someone be so insensitive and think that everything is okay? I try to focus on other activities, on the satisfaction of now earning my money, on researching more about myself and trying to find out what happened to me. But my thoughts go back to Dominique. The sleepless nights don't help, my nerves are on edge and at the same time that I want to push these thoughts away, I feel a need to understand why he acted like that, as if finding an answer would bring me some relief. And it won't. He's like that, damn it! It's frustrating, this mix of anger and worry, of wanting to forget him and not being able to stop thinking about him...

“Is everything okay? You're being quiet today”, Lohan says, smoothing a lock of my hair back.

Earlier today he called me, asking if I wanted to go for a walk. And I agreed, thinking it would be fun enough to not make me think about anything. But it was a bucket of cold water, my stomach hurts, my mood is terrible. Not even Lohan's pleasant presence made me get out of my thoughts.

“Sorry, I'm not a good company today”, I say, letting my shoulders slump.

Lohan gives me a chaste, welcoming smile with his cute dimple. He approaches, sitting on the high stool. We're in a busy bar in Monaco. I rest my arm on the long, refined counter of sophisticated stone. Behind him, an impressive row of subtly lit drinks displays bottles of spirits.

“Don't worry about it, my beauty.”

I take a sip of water.

“And you? What's that bruise on your face?”, I ask Lohan, since he has a bruise on her cheekbone and a cut on her eyebrow.

Lohan signals to the bartender, asking for another shot of vodka, which is promptly served.

“Oh, that's nothing. Jiu-jitsu. You know how it goes, right?”, he says, naturally.

I nod in confirmation, but I don't know how it goes, I just know that I know how to hit, very well in fact, and I remember that Dom arrived broken the day I left...

“Does Dom practice with you?”, I ask.

“He does it on different days than mine... but, tell me, why are you at Blanca's house?’, he asks, changing the subject, “Did something happen?”

I deny. I won’t say that I left Dom's house because he decided I would be a possession or a cat, anything like that.

“I'm just spending a few days with Blanca”, I lie, shamelessly.

Lohan agrees, taking another sip of his drink.

“I was thinking about you yesterday, in that mansion, alone”, he says, caressing my face with the back of his fingers, “You need company. Dom is a great guy, my best friend, but he can't always be there. I cherish you and I want you to feel safe and supported. I already told him that you need more attention and with the way he works, he can't help you with your needs.”

I begin to feel a growing discomfort in my stomach, as if a ball of tension were forming there. The sensation is accompanied by a slight nausea that makes me uneasy. I toss my hair to one side, trying to relieve the heat that seems to be creeping up my neck. My heavy eyes blink slowly and an uncomfortable pressure settles on my head, making it difficult to focus on anything around me. The mixture of tiredness and unease leaves me with an urgent desire to find some relief.

“That's very kind of you, but there's no need to worry”, I put my hand over his, “Everything is under control.”

Whose, I have no idea. But it's not Dominique's. I'm being very polite not to tarnish his reputation, if he even has one.

“I just want to say that I care about you, more than you know.”, Lohan approaches me, his hand holding my face lovingly and he brushes his nose against mine, threatening to kiss me.

At that moment, I realize that I don't want this to happen. I don't want it to. Besides, those disturbing, intense feelings I get when I'm with Dominique? The ones I hate feeling? I don't feel any of those things with Lohan. Dominique didn't even have to kiss me to make me feverish. Just his tongue sliding down my neck was enough to get my heart racing and make me wet. And those bites, which left me more than stunned, made me enjoy feeling it... This realization leaves me at a loss. The reality of how my body reacts to him, contrasted with my lack of desire for Lohan, makes everything even more confusing. He's really nice and fun, but no. As Lohan leans in, I feel only a deep resistance and I push him away, stepping back.

“I'd better not”, I stare at him, frightened by my thoughts, “I need to go now, thank you.”

“Wait, I'll take you... I didn't mean to push you. I just thought you'd like it too”, Lohan says apprehensively.

“It's okay... There's nothing wrong, I'm just... I'm not having the best day”, I say dryly.

And I turn around, crossing the hall in quick steps, feeling a knot forming in my throat and I can't tell if it's my stomach or the last few minutes. I walk through the door, feeling the evening breeze against my face, the uneasiness I feel makes my legs go soft.  I put my hand to my head, feeling dizzy.

“Kiki?”, I hear Vlad's voice coming closer.

I look up to find him.

“Are you all right?”, he asks, as he checks my countenance.

“Uh…”, I try to keep up appearances, “I am”, I smile

“But you're not”, Vlad puts his hand on my forehead, “You're hot, you're sweating. What happened?”

“Nothing... I'm going home.”

“I'll take you.”

I nod briefly.

I give it my all on the way so that I don't get sick. I haven't seen Vlad since I left Dominique's house. Today, for the first time in five days, I've seen him again and I can say that I'm relieved to be here. I lean my head against the back seat of the car, feeling everything spin intensely. My stomach is in a constant state of nausea and a cold sweat begins to cover my forehead. I can barely keep my eyes open; the pressure in my head is almost unbearable. Every beat of my heart echoes like a drum, increasing my dizziness. It's one of the last things I remember before falling asleep from exhaustion, finally giving in to the fatigue that has taken hold of me.

I wake up feeling heavy-eyed, my head aching with the chatter of Vlad, Blanca and a third male voice. They're talking together. I open my eyes and realize I'm in my room, still wearing my wine dress, without my sandals. I go back to sleep, only to feel a dark weight on my body.

I have no idea what time it is, all I know is that my stomach woke me up with a sudden urge to throw everything out. I turn over in bed and sit up, finding Dominique's gray gaze fixed on me next to him. He's on the edge of the bed, next to my feet, and I'm startled. I wake up completely, ignoring the rebellion of my stomach, not believing what I see in front of me. I bend my knees back, placing my heels against my thighs, while resting my hands on the bed next to my hips. With an impulse, I slide my feet along the mattress until they touch the cold floor. I stand up quickly. I realize my vision is blurred and my head is floating and everything is spinning in a constant moment. My legs feel shaky, I can't support myself. I try to take a step, but fail. Dominique's arms hold me up, before I fall to the ground, with everything.

“You don't have to hold me, I'm fine!” – And I don't need any help, I just...

Dominique has me sitting on his legs with ease and I'm in no condition to fight back, I'm so angry! I'm shaking from head to toe, I just can't tell if it's the unease or his presence. His fingers caress my face, taking one of the loose strands behind my ear. The touch against my skin is delicious, and I hate myself a little for enjoying it, after everything he's said to me. I feel the shivers run freely through me and my body shakes, making me take a deep breath. Dominique's arms wrap around me and I rest my head on his chest, listening to his heart and its rapid beating...

“Your heart beats fast”, I whisper.

“That’s ‘cause you didn't see my cock throbbing”, Dominique lets loose so naturally

I don't hold back a giggle. As much as I'm angry with Dominique, I like this acid humor.

“You have to take the medicine, the doctor came while you were asleep and everything indicates that it's a virus”, he says, his voice taking on a deeper tone

I turn away, staring at him. My head is aching and my stomach feels awful. I confess that I could use some medicine to relieve the symptoms. Dominique leans slightly to the side, reaching for the bedside table. He deftly picks up a bottle.

“I won't. It would be great, I won't deny it. But I'd better suck it up” I cross my arms

“That's not an option, Kiara”, Dominique says, bringing the bottle close to my mouth

I move away, returning to the bed, denying it with my head. And in a huff, I see him tip the contents into his mouth, taking it first, swallowing. I open my eyes wide and watch, mentally counting to ten, making sure he doesn't fall hard on the floor.

“Open your mouth”, That's all he says, aiming the bottle at my lips.

And I open it, feeling the taste of cherries go down my throat. Dominique keeps her gaze fixed on mine and it's impossible not to feel the room getting smaller and smaller. Those sensations that make me uncomfortable start to take over and I realize how suffocated I am inside the wine dress. It's too tight to spend the whole evening like this. Chanel is incredible, but honestly... Blanca helped me get into it today and if I stay in here for another second, I won't get into another one tomorrow. The cold I felt a moment ago has been replaced by an unbearable heat that makes me break out in a cold sweat. Agonized, I look at Dominique, who gives me a puzzled look.

“Help me take this off”, I point to the dress, turning my back to it, sitting on my legs and pulling my hair to one side.

I feel his fingers brush against my skin as his hands move up, sliding over the fabric. With each touch, a shiver runs down my spine and my heart beats faster. The heat mixes with the cold, sparking a tingling sensation throughout my body. I close my eyes, trying to control my breathg, but it's impossible not to feel the electricity in the air. Dominique's every move makes my body react in a way I can't control. The fabric of the dress slowly slips down, and the sensation of exposed skin is both a relief and torture. The contact of his fingers against my bare skin is almost unbearable. I do my best not to shudder, only then realizing that it was a bad idea to ask him to do this.

When I finally notice the dress being taken off, the air rushes back into my lungs and I feel immense relief. I lie face down on the bed, feeling the cool texture of the sheets against my skin.

“Rest up, it'll be time for the other medicine soon. I'll call you”, Dominique throws the comforter over me and I snuggle in after grabbing the pillow and holding myself against it.

Vlad

Kiki's arrival was a little off the beaten track, but that doesn't mean she hasn't captivated most people with her quirky way. I worry about her safety and health. Earlier today, I was notified by the escort that Kiki hadn't been at her best since she left home. Dominique left me in charge of supervising her since she arrived, and now, even with her departure, it would be no different. In recent days, I haven't had direct contact with her as usual, not least because you don't want her to know that there are security guards monitoring her every move.

That's why I was in the bar, hiding, trying to understand the reason for her discomfort and was confused to notice that Lohan, as well as not realizing that she wasn't well, still tried to kiss her. The unpleasant part is reporting all this to Dom, knowing that he won't like hearing the last of it. I've known Dominique for over a decade, I worked for his grandfather, Didier Le Blanc, as a bodyguard, before I really got to know him. He was a tourist kid who hardly stayed at home. We got close after his grandfather died and I saw him become the owner of the Chateau de la Fortuna Royale. Since that day, time has flown.

Dominique wasn't, isn't and perhaps never will be easy. He was rebellious, he always did what he wanted, he didn't deal well with rules, he never liked fitting into parameters. And that's what I admire most about him, and perhaps what his family hates most. I know Dominique and I dare say no one knows him like I do. So I can also say that it was a surprise how he handled Kiki's situation. Even I was caught off guard, I would never have imagined that he would take on such a burden. Not that I currently think Kiki is one, she made me see a Dominique I've never met. It's probably because she's the only one who upsets his mind to the point of making him contradict himself, as no one has ever done before. And I don't even think he knows it yet. He doesn't usually talk to anyone, not even his friends. Despite his outgoing nature, he's always kept everything to himself. He doesn't need to tell me anything, because I've learned to read him.

The bedroom door opens, and Dominique comes out with a dark tie in her hand. As I look across the hall, I see Blanca approaching, pushing a drink trolley full of canned goods. My eyes widen at the scene. She's dressed elegantly, in a blue petit poof dress and high heels. Her hair is loose. In her hand, which is not on the trolley, she holds a glass of champagne.

“How's Kiki?”, she asks, stopping near the door

Dominique stares at her, running her eyes up and down the cans and her countenance is one of disbelief. I stand my ground, knowing what's coming.

“Dom has brought her a variety of foods that she loves, all sealed and that make "clark" when opened”, Blanca holds up the bottle of water and clicks her tongue, “This risotto here is her favorite of the week and it clicks.”

“Do you know what "clark" will do if he gives Kiki one of these cans?”, Dominique asks Blanca, who makes a curious face

“What?”, she rebuts, taking a sip of his drink.

“Her neck. I don't want her eating that kind of swill”, he says, harshly.

“That's what she eats, didn't you know?”, she asks, finishing his glass of champagne.

It's not even six in the morning and I think Blanca hasn't slept either.

“Stay with Kiara for a while, I need to sort a few things out”, says Dominique, taking the trolley and pushing it to the elevator, followed by me.

“Are we going to the casino?”, I ask.

“No, not yet. Let's get her something decent to eat first”, Dominique is serious.

I nod in agreement.

The bakery's atmosphere combines classic European with modern touches. The shelves are filled with artisan breads and croissants, while the marble counter displays a tempting array of viennoiseries. The sweets display is a spectacle in itself, with fruit tarts, éclairs and colorful macaroons that look like works of art. The staff are always attentive and friendly and you can see the bakers at work through a glass window, which adds a special charm to the place. I was intrigued to notice Dominique fixated on handling the dough. Along the way, he was quiet and driving. Thoughtful... Something is certainly bothering him.

“What was Kiki's report yesterday? You only told me she was feeling unwell, Vlad.”

I let out a sigh before starting another of my reports.

“The security guard didn't really notice her during the day yesterday. In the morning, she stayed at home. In the afternoon, she continued with her consultancy, which she apparently opened and has a lot of clients. She's a good talker, from what the security guard told me. And in the evening, at around 7pm, she met up with Lohan in a bar near the casino”, I pause for a moment.

Dominique's face closes, but she listens in silence.

“And what else?”, I question.

“Lohan didn't realize that she was feeling ill, and yet there was flirtation, almost a kiss, but not quite. Kiki pulled away, clearly annoyed. She didn't want to, it was clear. He was baffled, because he didn't know what to do. And when I found her outside the bar, I saw that she was really unwell, and I took her to Blanca's house, as she wanted. I called the doctor and told you immediately.”

And I have to say something, because maybe Lohan and Dominique are competing for something that will end up destroying not only a friendship, but a possible relationship in which no one will get what they want. Kiki is not the possession of either of them... I heard Dominique's argument with her the day he came back from Paris, the same day he broke Lohan's face, and he told me himself. And the fact that he told me is also a cause for surprise. I've clearly connected the dots. Jealousy. Except that she doesn't belong to either of them. If Dominique continues with this kind of behavior, she won't come back. And I really want Kiki to come back, for several reasons, one of which is: she's under protection 24 hours a day. We don't have access to Blanca's house, what goes in and what comes out, anyone can get in. And the other reason is that even if Kiki upsets you, in a way she's good for you. And when I retire, I want to make sure it's great.

“Dominique, I need to tell you something that I've been brewing in my head for days and I need to get off my chest.”

He, who is still intent on his croissant dough, signals with his index finger for me to continue.

“I hear you”, says Dominique.

“My ex-wife…”

Dom turns his attention to me, wondering what I'm talking about. I don't judge, I've never spoken of her, not least because she's a son of a bitch and she left at dawn while I was asleep, taking our savings and the car. Nowadays, she's married to someone else and has 4 children. But in the absence of a story, I'll have to improvise and use this one as a basis.

“It's shocking. I found out when I hired you”, Dominique says.

“You never said you knew that, sir.”

“You've never mentioned it, why should I?”

Dominique seems astonished at the direction the conversation has taken.

“From what I heard, she was a slut…”

I don't even know where to put my face, she really was.

“I was very jealous of my ex, Anna. I thought that, by controlling everything, I could avoid problems. But that made her hate me, move away from me with each passing day. Until one day, she left. After years, when I saw her in the street yesterday, with her beaming smile, three children holding hands and a baby on her lap, smiling like that at another man, I realized all that I had lost. What was the point of me being so possessive?”

Dominique's expression is one of indignation, it's hard to see him like this with something. But today alone, I've succeeded three times.

“Stop fucking around, will you, Vlad? She did you a favor. If she had been the woman in your life, she wouldn't have had four children and a new husband, she would have shown you where you were wrong, she would have talked to you, you wouldn't have taken so long to realize your mistake and you wouldn't have lost her. She just fucked up your life. It's been two years, not two weeks. If she's already got a child of her own, I'm sure she already had a lover at the time. It was an excuse to leave you — Dominique pats my shoulder — Don't cry, it was a blessing.”

I stop and analyze the whole situation... Could it be? The worst thing is that it makes sense. I can't believe that, on top of everything else, I've been cuckolded.

Dom

When I arrive at Blanca's house, I get out of the car carrying three shopping bags in one hand and Kiki's breakfast in the other, as I hurry towards the entrance. My mind is racing with so many thoughts. I glance at my watch and realize that I have half an hour to get to the casino. The meeting with the Game Supervision Board, GSB is crucial and the guys don't wait. But I'm never late either. Not for this. However, I couldn't leave her eating that canned radiation. I'm tense about Kiki's condition. It was a difficult night. She was very ill, had a fever, woke up several times with a stomachache and nausea and only managed to fall asleep at the end of the night.

Which leads me to wonder how did Lohan not notice her state? And he still tried to kiss her? No matter what motivation. She's sick! Breaking his face wasn't enough and the worst part is that I can't do anything about it now. What a son of a bitch! I won't let him mess with what's mine. Vlad may think that example was useful, but it wasn't. Because I wasn't the one who took the loss. Because I wasn't the one who lost it.

I enter the living room with my feet firmly on the floor, my head still full of confused thoughts. When I arrive, I find Kiki lying on the sofa and the scene catches me off guard. She's wearing a black skirt and blouse in an elegant tailored suit. Her square-heeled shoes and thin knee-high socks, both the same color, highlight the paleness of her thighs. Her long hair is spread across her lap, falling in waves. Even with her sunglasses covering her gaze, I can feel the exhaustion she's trying to hide. There's something vulnerable yet resilient about her posture, as if she's trying to keep her composure despite everything. My cell phone rings, briefly distracting my attention from Kiki.

“Dom?”, Maurice's voice is tense.

“Himself”, I answer, impaciently.

“You know the meeting with GSB is in less than half an hour, right? Why the fuck aren't you here?”, he asks angrily.

“Listen, let me ask you something, isn't it too early for you to start being a dick?”

My voice overflows with irritation. Before Maurice can reply, I hang up on him. As if I didn't know my responsibilities.

“Kiki, I've brought you some things. What are you doing here? The doctor was clear when he told me that rest was the solution”, I ask, moving closer

She moves slowly, sitting down on the sofa, adjusting her glasses as she looks at me from under the dark lenses.

“Tell that to Blanca, who threw me off the bed, telling me to react. ‘Are you kidding? Put on your best bow tie and react. Don't you want to get rich? Don't you want money the hard, peasant way? Now do it. Because I'm not going to be talked about, everyone wants your advice and I've already played my part by saying you'd be there’”, Kiki lowers her sunglasses, “And you know what's worse? She's right. So I'm here, waiting for her to finish her hair and we'll get to work.”

I can see the hazelnuts are clearly exhausted, but the layers of make-up are a great deception of the dark circles under her eyes from earlier today.

I put the shopping bags on the floor and the breakfast wrapper next to Kiki and bend down in front of her, stroking her feverish face.

“You don't have to go, and you don't need to.”

“Yes, I do. Just because I've forgotten who I am, doesn’t mean that I can't start again. I'm paid very well for this, it's worth the effort. If they want to be coquette, they will. Even if I don't know exactly if I am…”

I shake my head in disbelief. How absurd. But that's me too, I always go to work, no matter what. I take her breakfast, open the carton, pick out the orange juice and drink it, feeling the citrus taste on my palate, passing it to her, who removes her glasses, watching me attentively, and then takes a big gulp.

“Wow, that's delicious, it's cold…”, I sigh.

I fix my attention on Kiki, letting my gaze slip down to the necklace around her neck. A wave of discomfort overwhelms me. The sight of this "collar" awakens an instinctive desire to rip it off. It's unacceptable that this nonsense should continue. May Lohan not appear in front of me, if he doesn't want to be turned inside out.

“And you know what? Zero preservatives”, I say

Kiki drops her shoulders.

“Preservative never killed anyone…”, says Kiki, pointing at the croissants and brioches with chocolate chips and sablés, “Bite into this one, this one and this one.”

I nod briefly, trying each one on, while she paranoidly analyzes whether I have any unexpected reactions. It's not possible, at first I thought it was a tantrum, but I'm realizing it's much worse. Something serious happened to Kiki in the past. It's not binge eating... I take a sablé, experimenting. These almond butter cookies are great.

“Hey, it's mine!”, he says, pulling it out of my hand

“No, it's not. There's a lot over there, you can eat the others”, I point with my thumb.

Kiki gives him a suggestive look.

“But you haven't tried them yet”, she says, sipping her juice.

I hand over mine to taste the others, biting and chewing one by one. I make a point of getting up.

“Now, I have to go”, I say, taking the glass from her hand and taking a sip, “Call me if you need anything and then check the bags”, I nod towards the packages

“And what's in them?”, She questions.

“Open it and find out, it's yours.”

I feel her grab my arm and I look at her sideways, watching her seem to hesitate.

“Stay a little longer…”

Who can say "no" to this preservative-free charisma? I can't, can I? Fuck it, I'm already late. I sit down on the sofa next to Kiki, who smiles in my direction. A great indication that maybe she's not so mad at me anymore. And I can already think about how to convince her to come home when she's better, of course. Everything here is meticulously thought out to turn out the way I want. I just don't know how yet. Kiki leans on my legs, reaching into the bags beside me and pulling them out. Instinctively, my gaze slips to her plump ass, covered by her skirt, and the urge to slap her makes me bite my lip in an attempt to contain my impulsiveness.

“I got it!”, Kiki lifts the three bags, returning to her original position on the sofa.

The scent of her as she walks past me makes me want to pull her hair and wrap it around my hand so that I can command any movement... and I salivate. Fuck! What's going on? She's sick, although not in my mind, but fuck it. Smoking hot!

I come out of my trance with a scream from Kiki:

“My God, that's perfect! I've been dying to get one of these, it's super sporty!”

Kiki says, excitedly, and the bright look on her face makes me think it's funny, because it's just a pair of sneakers. Kiki opens the second bag and pulls on the bow that wraps around the box.

“Look at this boots, they come up to the knee, I haven't seen this one yet…”

I rest my arm on the back of the sofa, running my hand through my hair. When her eyes meet the high, white strappy sandals, she exclaims:

“How wonderful! It’ll go perfectly with a white dress I have, it's full of sparkles.”

I let out a short laugh.

“Maurice's daughter is my goddaughter and when she gets sick, she always asks for a present so that she can recover better. I thought it might do you some good”, I say, gently stroking her cheek, watching her close her eyes briefly.

“I didn't know Maurice had a daughter, but she's right! It cheers one up.”

“Her problem is that she looks like her father…”

Kiki's eyes widen at the comment, and she moves closer, still holding the sandal, tilting her face up to my ear.

“I hope you're not trying to buy me.”

“Never, far from me, the intentions here are noble.”

When I realize she's leaning in to give me a kiss on the cheek, I stop her by holding her face and making her look at me.

“Kissing on the cheek is a faggot thing. Either you kiss my mouth or you suck my dick, it's not like that here.”

Kiki lets out an involuntary, disbelief laugh. She grips my chin tightly, sliding her lips over mine in a quick gesture. It leaves me ecstatic, wanting more, wanting to put her on my lap and fuck her, making her feel everything she's never felt before, showing her all the kinds of pleasure I can offer.

“Thank you, Dom.”

She pulls away, and our eyes meet, in exchange of glances. An intense tension seems to form between us, as if an invisible spark is passing from me to her and from her to me. And that's fucked up! I'll refrain from thinking about it.

“Kiki! I'm ready”, Blanca enters the room, her stiletto heels clacking on the floor, “We're late and I still need to get there and finish tomorrow's party’s preparation. Dominique, you're more than invited.”

I arrived at the casino at a thousand miles an hour, running like hell. The lucky thing is that in Monaco the distance is ridiculous, everything is so close that you can cross the whole city in an hour. I take the opportunity to come up with the most convincing excuse you can think of. I cross the parking lot, arriving at a discreet door. I open it and enter the hall. Amélie is waiting for me in front of an elevator exclusively for the board of directors. She's biting her nail, looking apprehensive, and I'm sure it's because of Maurice's pressure on the boardroom floor. I approach her and she hands me her black suit jacket. I have no idea where I left mine. I put it on, running my hand through my hair and spraying the perfume she hands me.

Observing my hurried preparation, Amélie holds out her hand:

“Give me the gum”, her nervousness doesn't get to me, I spit it out without delay, “Dr. Maurice is upstairs with them. They're waiting for you, Mr. Le Blanc. The auditors have already started, they're doing the inspection. Some of them are checking the machines, others the security and there are two in the meeting room.”

“Quiet down, everything is as it should be. I've already arrived.”

Without wasting any more time, we got into the elevator. The interior is luxurious. White marble, gold details. The cabin is silent, except for the faint sound of classical music that seems to buzz in my head.

“Are there any specific instructions for the team today?”, he asks, typing on his cell phone.

“No one throwing themselves out of the window, that's enough for me”, I say, in a good mood, “Don't you think so, Amélie?”

“I don't think anything, sir, just that Dr. Maurice urgently needs a vacation.”

“The question is: who dosn't, Amélie?”

The elevator doors open onto the top floor. The corridor is long and impeccably decorated. Exquisite tapestries cover the walls, depicting scenes of gambling. Crystal chandeliers hang from the ceiling, casting sparkling reflections across the space. I walk across the black carpet, which silences my footsteps.

“If I receive any calls from Vlad or Blanca de la Rosa, pass them on immediately.”

As I approach the directorate, I pass through dark, heavy wooden doors, each with metal plates engraved with the names of the directors. At the end of the corridor, a larger double door stands out. I adjust my jacket one last time and push the doors open.

I have a view of a large room with large windows offering a breathtaking view of the city. In the center, a solid wood conference table, surrounded by leather chairs, takes up most of the space. On the walls, classical paintings.

The Gaming Supervisory Board (GSB) is a public company, with the government of Monaco being a significant shareholder in the casino. It not only manages the day-to-day operations, but ensures that all gaming activities are in line with local and international regulations. All to ensure a fair and safe gaming environment for all customers. You can't help but be apprehensive when these guys come. After all, I launder a hefty sum for the mafia, among other things. What dirty money comes into this place is unscrupulous. I've had everything organized for days so that we don't get any surprises. This happens every quarter.

The men in suits are already seated, awaiting my arrival. Maurice, with his imposing presence, occupies the chair to my left. His expression is stern, but there is a calculated calm in his eyes. Next to him, Thierry. On my right, Pierre, who is the operations director, and then, hello, that son of a bitch Lohan, who is the finance director. At the sight of him, I clench my fists in a rage that I'm trying to contain. How could he have the audacity to try to kiss her? And all the calm I feel goes to hell, because all I want right now is to beat the shit out of him one more time. The damage to his face wasn't and never will be enough. I'm too professional to let them see all the anger. The rest at the table are managers, consultants and supervisors.

“Good morning, gentlemen”, I say seriously, “I apologize for being late, but I had a personal health emergency. I wouldn't normally say this, but I owe you an explanation for the inconvenience of waiting. My dear sister has pneumonia and her condition is serious”, I speak, seriously, in a regretful tone.

I sit down in my chair by the table head. The auditor and the inspector look at me sympathetically, wishing Eva well.

Thierry looks at me with a distressed expression. Confused? and I forgot for a moment that he has always had an incurable crush on my sister. Maurice's gaze softens, understanding the reason for my delay, and the same goes for Pierre, who nods in reciprocity and fuck it. I don't even bother to find out about Lohan. I said it was a great excuse, that's all that matters.

The meeting with GSB begins and I know that every word and action from now on will be crucial. Lohan talks, talks and his voice irritates me. I maintain my ethical stance, because someone here needs it, since he doesn't have it. I think I need to be smart, any minute now he'll want to take the casino for himself too and say I don't pay attention.

“How are the casino's periodic financial reports prepared and audited? We can better understand the procedures you implement to ensure accuracy and compliance with current regulations.”, asks Thibault, GSB's financial auditor to Lohan, with his rigorous gaze, as if he didn't want to miss anything

“Chateau de la Fortuna Royale's periodic financial reports are prepared following strict accounting procedures and local and international regulations. We use specialized software to record transactions more accurately. We carry out frequent internal audits to ensure compliance and accuracy and collaborate with external auditors to validate our financial records”, Lohan says with that soft, gentle voice.

And to think it will be all day listening to Lohan and GSB. And once again, sleepless, exhausted, worried about Kiki, lost with a sense of frustration and still no idea how long she'll want to stay at Blanca. It sucks.

The meeting lasted almost five hours, with a series of endless questions. Where, with a serious and convinced posture, in a professional tone, I finish.

Maurice and Lohan remain in the meeting room. Everything has gone smoothly, the bureaucracy has been sorted out and the rest is downstairs, while the inspection continues. Silence falls as Thierry closes the door and leaves.

“Is Eva all right?”, Maurice asks, “Why didn't you say so when I called you?”

“I didn't even think about it at the time, but everything's going to be fine. She's being looked after by the doctors, she'll be discharged soon”, I say, picking up the glass of water and drinking it in one gulp.

“Do you intend to go back and stay with her? I'll keep whatever you need here for you”, Maurice says, closing his briefcase.

“No, relax, brother. Eva has a husband. I've done my bit, be at peace”, I put the glass back on the table

“I'm taking Jolie to my mother's house, because I need to sort out some important things today. I've already spoken to Thierry, he's going to stay in my place for the weekend, so don't you guys think about killing someone or something, otherwise you'll all go to jail”, he says dryly, pissed off, dragging his chair and getting up, in a terrible mood, and doesn't even say goodbye

I'm not going to say that his humor is the best of all, but it's much worse. The guy is closed off, he doesn't tell anyone anything. It's hard to know what's going on with him, he's not like Simon who cries, screams, suffers, shows the world his discontent. Maurice slams the door and I try to get up from my chair, ignoring Lohan and the reverse is true.

“What did you do to Kiki to make her go to Blanca's?”, I hear Lohan's voice, in a subtle tone, and I face him.

“And why should that be any of your business? I don't owe you any satisfaction”, I reply, harshly.

“Maybe because I wanted to give her the best and I really care”, Lohan lets out in a superior tone.

“Do you really care? I have my doubts”, My voice sounds firm, full of restrained anger.

“You don't know what it's like to care, you never have. It's unfair what you intend to do to Kiki. Do you think that because she doesn't remember who she is, you can mold her any way you want?”, Lohan retorts, his eyes sparking

“Nothing regarding Kiara interests you, you cunt. You want to try something, go ahead. But if I find out that you've done something she didn't want, that you've pushed the envelope just to provoke me, I'll end you, Lohan”, my words are sharp, full of menace.

“Are you comparing me to you? We're not the same.”

“Fuck you, Lohan”, I turn around, I'm unwilling to listen to anyone else talk after five hours of meeting. When I get to the door, before I open it, I face Lohan who has an angry look on his face - It's not about competition, if that's what you want. If Kiara wants to be with you, get in each other's asses. I don't mind.

I close the meeting room door, irritated, out of patience. I swallow. I stop to think for a moment. She's fucking with my head, that's what's happening. I don't know why. I don't understand. But I feel a sudden urge to attack anyone who gets in her way. I'm bewildered and that can't happen to me. Amélie comes towards me, looking at me apprehensively.

“Mr. Le Blanc, a man wants to talk to you and doesn't want to identify himself. He said you'd know who he was by his initials. JD…”

As I listen, I go into a state of alert. Detective Jacques Dubois can only have found something. I immediately tense up at the possibility.

“Send him in. Do it now.”

I make my way to my living room, entering and heading for the bar next to the table, pouring myself a shot. The tension leaves me a little shaken. It doesn't take long for Jacques to appear in the doorway: blond hair, mustache of the same color, tall, well-dressed. In his hands, he holds an envelope and that in itself makes me apprehensive. Knowing who she is could change everything and I don't know if I want it to. With a sharp, direct gaze, I think back to our last meeting, where I was objective: I needed to know who Kiki was. I told him how I found her and he promised to investigate imperceptibly. His work is always successful, it's the best.

“So?”, I ask

“I've found something important. I checked all the places around: immigration, hotels, nothing. I went back to the hospital…”

“It's no use, I've searched and searched”, I interrupt, impatient

“Calm down, Mr. Le Blanc. I haven't finished yet”, Jacques says, keeping his composure.

I cross my arms, waiting for him to say it at once.

“On the day she was admitted, there was a glitch in the hospital's database. This kind of error usually erases several data entries. Doctors, medicines, stocks, patients... nothing was lost, except a single file. I worked to restore as much information as possible and had some success, despite the time between the accident and the investigation. In her file, there is no name and no document. The medical report indicates head trauma. She was taken to hospital by a civilian who said he found her on a staircase, fallen, bloodied and passed out. The man's name is Sebastien Poulain. His name was erased from the file, but it was among the information I managed to recover.”

“And where is this man now? I want him here right fucking now.”

“That won't be possible, sir. Sebastien was found dead the day after he took her to hospital. In his own home.”

“Is this business serious or just so I can fuck off?”, perplexity escapes my lips.

“Mr. Le Blanc, if I may make a comment... my instinct tells me that there is something very wrong with this story. This girl smells of danger. Her habits, tastes and talents suggest to me something dangerous, perhaps even illicit. She's not the only one in danger, but everyone around her. Perhaps she's the fruit of an unfinished file burning and whoever left her like this will surely come to finish the job. You and yours will not be left out of the fire. Are you sure I should continue?”, he asks in an authoritative tone.

“I don't usually go into my business to get out, Dubois.”

He nods silently.

“So my next step is to look much deeper than that and I need time to contact the people I need. Until then, it's important that you keep it safe.”

“Don't tell me the obvious. Is that it?”

“Excuse me, sir.”

When the detective slams the door as he passes, I throw a punch at the marble table. Fuck! I need to think, I need to act. Kiki's at Blanca's, fucking Lohan's doing this shit. What the fuck! Fucking day.

Kiki

I decided to get my nipple pierced again yesterday after my consultation. It's part of my old identity. Although I didn't really know what style it was, I found out that I liked it a lot. It's beautiful! I got it exactly right when I opted for two sapphires. It's delicate and elegant, in a deep shade of blue. The hole I had closed quickly. Which makes me think that it was removed in hospital. The pain of redoing the hole was excruciating, it felt like I'd ripped the beak out. But Blanca took advantage of being with me in the studio and pierced her ear.

The house is crazy today, the staff are up and down, organizing the preparations for tonight's party. Everything is very refined, chic and white. Blanca is already in the salon, getting ready, twelve hours in advance. Nails, hair, massage... I have nothing to do here, today is my day off. And I'm still recovering from the virus. Dominique texted me last night, asking how I was feeling. I replied that I was getting better. I still don't know if I'm going to stay for Blanca's party, I wasn't in the mood for so much excitement. Maybe I could go to Dominique's for a few hours until I decide whether or not to go to the party. I really need to pick up the book with the hot guy from the gym that I haven't finished reading. But I could also try to get closer to him, as much as he's been a jerk, he seems to be in a good mood, without that "forever fuck you" attitude.

I'm wearing a pair of flowing, comfortable blue wide leg pants. Underneath, delicate white lingerie with a discreet and elegant lace bra. A white, slightly oversized, open shirt shows off the details of the lingerie, creating a sophisticated contrast. On my feet, the white sports sneakers with gray details that Dominique gave me. It's perfect! I take the car key from the dressing table and leave the room to go to the garage.

On the drive to Dominique's house, I notice a knot of anxiety forming in my throat as I approach the mansion. My heart beats fast and my usual calm is replaced by tension. Oh, I just hope I don't regret it... I try to understand the origin of this chaos and I don't. Eight days ago, when I left Dominique's house, all I felt was anger and now, the emotions are different, less defined, but just as intense. The kiss I gave him yesterday was a bit of a joke, but at the time I had the sudden urge to continue, and only I know how much I've had to keep control of the sensations that make me dizzy. As I enter, after being cleared by security, I pass through the tall, golden iron gates and a shiver runs through me, making the longing worse. I take a deep breath and don't go into the garage, but park on the path in front of the entrance.

I enter to find the hall empty. A jacket is thrown on the armchair, I see a wallet and a car key on the sideboard, which leads me to believe that Dominique is at home. When I enter the living room, I find Dominique lying on the sofa, completely out. As I approached, all the positivity I had felt collapsed when I found him in a terrible state. He's wearing only gray boxer shorts and an unbuttoned white shirt, exposing his muscular torso and leaving lipstick marks all over his underwear and body.

I clench my fists in an intense rage that cuts through my chest as I realize that this bothers the hell out of me. It's not just the women, but this derogatory way of drinking yourself senseless. My face burned with a mixture of indignation and hatred. He seems to be sleeping peacefully, which only increases my anger. The sweet perfume that emanates from him makes me repulsed, reminding me of the six women with whom he evidently shared his evening, and I know this from the different fragrances I inhale and the different shades of lipstick I notice. Do I have anything to do with it? Of course not. I know I don't, I don't even understand why I'm like this and I'm more angry at being stunned by behavior that doesn't even concern me. I can't control what happens, only how I react. I roll my eyes, thinking I'm an imbecile for having come all this way. I turn around and walk back the other way, past the front door to the car and back to Blanca's house.