My heart in my throat, I waited for him to make his decision. Willed him to let me in, to let me help. I needed to know what had happened to him. What had formed him. How he came to be the man he was. As the silence dragged on, I could feel myself shrinking, imploding. He was going to push me away. Break the bonds that had already formed. Set them on fire and run for the hills. I gave him a sad smile, nodded. I'd known it was too good to be true. I wasn't keepable. I was too broken and dark to be with someone who lived in the light like he did. From the very beginning, I'd known. Bad guys didn't help strangers. Not like he had. He'd felt guilty that I'd been kidnapped after he dropped me back off at the bakery. But he was seeing what my life was really like. How closely I was tied to the Amatuccis. He saw how deep the pits I lived in were. How dark. How much I'd become like those pits. Unsaveable. I wasn't fit for the light and that's all he was. Lightness, gentleness-albei
Her broken tears washed me clean. As if she'd brought some bleach and sterilized the memories, I felt lighter. Not so heavy, not so dark. Lighter. My eyes were dry, so fucking dry. I hadn't cried since that day, I realized. Another thing that bastard had stolen from me. The memory of Angelo and Domenico weeping in each other's arms ran through my mind again. That's what family should be. They might have ethics as flexible as a Slinky, but their morals and values were hard as granite. I couldn't understand anything of what she was saying, but her touch and spirit gentled me. Calmed me. Soothed me as nothing ever had in the past. I'd jostled her in my arms, forced her to grab onto my shoulders. I hadn't been able to ask for her touch there, but I'd needed it. Demanded it. So we lay there. Two broken people trying to act like we were whole. Our darkness spoke to each other's darkness. They communed together. No brighter for the coming together, but certainly no darker for i
I grabbed Turo's hand as his face went thunderous. "Sorry. Thank you. I was trying not to let her know my middle name. Something about her wanting to yell at me using all three." I shook my head. His face cleared as he laughed. He nodded. "Yeah, when she's really pissed she uses all three like Momma does." He leaned in. "I think it's cute, but don't tell her that. She'd just get even more pissed and I like my confectionaries."I chuckled as we let go. "Making her angry is pretty fun."He snorted. "Do it at your own risk. And don't eat anything she makes you after she's been angry." He shuddered. "It won't end well.""Stop snickering about me, you turds." "Speak of the devil," I said. A pillow punched into the back of my head. "Jerk." Her stomach growled again. Loud enough that I heard it from the middle of the room. I turned back to her. "Seriously, do you have a small feral animal who lives inside you?"She flipped me off as she laughed. "Just feed me.""Momma le
Tali held me under the shoulders as I went to the bathroom. I don't think I'd ever been so humiliated in my life. "Just think of it as me holding your wedding dress."I snorted into Tali's shoulder. "Except you're holding me, not my clothes. I feel like an idiot.""It's this or stay in the hospital. From what I heard, Ryker had to pull some strings to get Dr. Sweeten to release you into his care. Technically, you should still be there. I think the stay was about fourteen days? Something like that, anyway. Besides, what's a little pee between best friends slash sisters?"I laughed. "Does that mean you're going to help me go when I'm at Ryker's?" I'd never really thought about the mechanics of personal hygiene before I had to rely on someone else to help me stay upright. We managed it and she only dropped me on the toilet once. We were both in tears from laughing so hard by the end of it, my body was screaming in delicious pain. "It-t-t hurtssss, Tal-l-li. Help me up-p-p,"
Shivers and goosebumps rose along my arms and spine as she scratched her nails against my scalp. How I missed the simple pleasure of that my whole life, I didn't know. But, along with just about everything else about this woman, I was addicted to it. I dipped down so she could get the front door. "Oh, I need my purse," she said. I straightened. "Right. Do you know where it is?" She stiffened a bit, looked over my shoulder. "No. Last I remember having it was in the car at the bakery."I winced even as I appreciated her not stating the fact that I was the reason she was currently forced to be in my arms. I nodded. I would make that up to her. Spend my life making it up to her. "I'll have Baxter go back to the bakery. I think your car is still there. You'll need to get your bank information changed, just in case. What about your driver's license? Social security card? All of that?""In the far corner. Fireproof safe under the desk." She pointed over my shoulder. Careful
I woke up when I heard a female voice calling my man baby. "That better have been your Grams, mister, or you've got some splaining to do." I glared up at Ryker. His smile was gorgeous as he lowered the phone. "Not quite. My mother. And surprise, you're going to meet her today."Only his hand on my rib cage kept me from jackknifing upright in shock. "What the hell, Ryker!" I looked down at my dress. Well, I guess it could be worse. Oh wait! I couldn't even fucking stand on my own and I was going to meet the woman who had to be higher ranking than freaking Wonder Woman in Ryker's eyes. She was going to hate me. Think I was a slob who couldn't be bothered to stand up to meet her. Ryker's sigh was big enough to fell a gigantic tree. "Whatever crap is rolling through your mind, you better get it straightened out before I do. She's going to love you." He opened his mouth again. Seemed to catch himself from saying anything else. He turned, looked out the window, his jaw hard.
I jumped between my mother and Willow, cutting off my mom's view of her. "Don't ever talk to her like that again.""You get stabbed, kill a man, and now you're lying to the police? For her?" She shot to her feet. "You can do so much better than this, baby." She reached out to me. I stepped back. Kept walking backward until I bumped into the couch. I tipped my head to the side. "You just defended her. Threatened a police lieutenant."Mom snorted. "No. I corrected a bad police woman's attitude. I didn't defend Winslow Chase's daughter." She shook her head. The odd glances, the deliberately rude behavior fell into place. "That's what this is about? Making the daughter wear the sins of the father?"My mom jerked back as if I'd slapped her. I spread my arms. "Get to dressing, Mom. We both know Dad's sins. Better start pinning them to my chest.""No! She doesn't get to talk to you like that. Not in front of me she doesn't," Willow said from behind me. My mom snarled. She
Ryker moved to lift me into his arms again. And as much as I wanted to be there, I also wanted to walk. To move under my own steam. To be able to be in charge of my body. I grabbed his hands with mine. "Now, before you deny me out of hand, I want you to listen."He leaned back, hurt on his face. "I always listen to you."I grimaced. Squeezed his fingers. "Sorry. Yes, you do. And I appreciate it. But I want to walk." Clouds of doubt covered his features. His lips pursed as I saw the wheels start turning in his brain. "I'm not saying no. But I am going to ask Jessa." He pressed a kiss to my nose before turning to his bedroom door. He hollered after the pretty doctor. I didn't hear her answer, but I did hear the click, click, click of her shoes as she walked towards his bedroom once again. "She wants to what?" She popped her head through the door, her eyebrows up near her hairline. "You want to walk? Willow, you just had arterial surgery two days ago."I sighed. Pushed b
I crept along the rooftop. The target was staying in the long term suites across the road. It was our first night, and it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders the farther we got from New Trenadie. The next moment, I crashed to the roof's floor. "Damn it." She snickered. "Still a sucky spy, Raphael." She slid her body over mine.I sucked in a breath. Nodded. Hell, I practically begged her for it. But without words. When she got that tone, my words were not necessary. She smiled. "I'm not going to beat you to death. Nor am I going to stuff you into a padded room." She bent down, flicked her tongue over my lips. "But I will tie you up, spank you, flog you, fuck you, and then make you do it all over again. My dick went to iron between her legs. Her laugh was husky. "I'm keeping you, Raphael. Do you understand me?"My heart settled. Skipped a beat. "Yes, Mistress."The end.
My phone dinged with a new incoming text message. Considering my phone had been going off since the wee hours of the morning with Willow and Ryker announcing the baby was finally coming, I was tempted to just shut it off. But it could be something important. And since Angelo and I were at home with the other babies, it fell to us to make sure we kept everything running as it should. I grabbed the phone. Unlocked the screen. A video message popped up. Raphael and his girl, Nia. Their heads mushed together to get into frame. "Momma, I have to leave. But I wanted to tell you I love you. And thank you for everything. I will let you know when I get back." Nia smiled. "I'll keep him safe, Momma. I swear it.""Bye, Momma," they said together before they ended the call.I smiled even as tears filled my eyes. Angelo looked up at me from his spot on the bed. He was restrained, a ball gag in his mouth. I held the crop up high. "Our last baby is finally happy, Angelo." I s
Two weeks later I glared at the woman on the table. "I still don't know why I have to be here. I barely know you."Willow snorted. "Because you're scarier than anyone else in my family. And I don't want those doctors trying to get all bitchyyyyyyyy." Another contraction hit her. She clamped down on my hand hard enough that I thought I was going to need surgery to remove the bones from each other. And this little firecracker had more strength inside her than her grip would show. Raphael had told me some of her story. She'd told me the rest of it. A ritual the Amatucci women apparently indulged in was something called Girls' Night. Really it was a bunch of drinking, talking about sex, and watching movies while we ate enough of Willow's confectionaries to give ourselves diabetes. Willow blew out a breath. "Ryker can't handle seeing me in this kind of pain, so he has to stay out in the lobby with the rest of them. You're second chair." She panted. Demanded some ice chips.
Three days laterWalking into my parents house when they didn't know I was alive was a risky thing. A multitude of crappy things could happen. Not the least of which was Momma killing me for real this time. Or Papa crying. Or either of them fainting."Go on," Nia said as she shoved me forward gently. "You're already here. Just go into the kitchen. Nik said she told them to wait for her in the kitchen."I nodded, felt my palms go clammy as my breath backed up in my lungs. This could go terribly wrong. So fucking horribly wrong. Man up, Si, that no longer too small voice said inside me. Since I'd been actively listening to it more, he wasn't so easy to shut up. Even when I wanted to. Thankfully, the nasty bitch who lived inside me was getting fainter. Although he could still throw a temper tantrum to beat a two year old. "I'm right here. And I'll be right here the whole time. They've waited long enough, Raphael." She nudged me again. Even as bile rushed up the back o
We all stood in the kitchen, guzzling water by the gallon. I hadn't been this dehydrated since the last time I got in trouble at Petter Manor. But at least this time it was due to happy tears and reunification. Raphael sat and watched it all. Just absorbed it. But he never got so far away I couldn't touch him. That I even needed to touch him still blew my mind. But I wasn't going to question it. He helped steady me when it felt like everything inside me and around me was bending and flexing too fast for me to catch up. "What are your plans for tomorrow?" Liam asked as he finished his third glass of water. "Tomorrow is the gala. I'm going to string Anders up-the guy who had you kidnapped again. I'm going to tell everyone the Petters have been blackmailing and abusing and paying off that the Petters are dead and gone. That they're all on watch." I studied Liam and Lilly. It blew my mind that they had gone into the government side of this dirty world. That they willingly put t
Nia came over to me while I was helping drag some bodies away. "Hey Raphael, can you come with me, please?"Foster grunted at me as we got the body up on the catering cart. "Go. I've got this." I nodded, turned back to Nia. "Sure, Nia." She took my hand and we walked from the room. Her hand was trembling in mine. It was only the slightest degree, but it might as well have registered on the seismic scale. "You good?" I asked her softly as we walked down a set of stairs. She said nothing, made no movements except to keep walking. I pulled her to a stop. Made her look at me. "Are you good?" I asked again. Her eyes were wide, as if she were trying to stave off the tears. "Amelie and Anton..." she blew out a breath. "They're t-""The only two people you love in this world." I smiled sadly. "I know, Nia."Her eyelids fluttered shut as a tear escaped down her cheek. Her breath was shaky as she exhaled. "I got them away from here. Put them in with a good woman with a hu
Day before the gala "Charlie team in position," the man's voice came through the little earbud I wore in my right ear. I kept a tight hold on my fear. My relief. My heart. All of the planning, all of the tears, all of the arguments. It all came down to this. "Delta team in position," Raphael said through my ear. "Foxtrot team in position," another voice said. I still wasn't quite sure who was who by their voice, but I'd done an okayish job of remembering names and faces. The fact that I had a team full of women with me made me like the Amatuccis even more. They didn't discriminate. If someone had the skill and the drive to join the security teams, they were given a position. "Estrogen team in position," I said. A series of clicks came through the earbud. I'd made a single joke about Echo team being full of vaginas. They called us the Estro team now. Since we were collectively badass, I didn't really care what they called us as long as it wasn't disrespectful. "A
Her babies? She had kids? I shook my head. Knew there had to be a different story, but I needed to get her back with me to learn it. I set her down on the chair. Pushed her head down between her knees. "Breathe, Nia." I made my voice hard. As hard as I dared when all I wanted to do was cuddle her up and carry her away. Nowhere was my fierce and strong Dominant. Right now, she was a broken, hurting woman. I would hold her together until she could find herself again. Ivan came rushing into the room, his gun drawn. He lifted it to the ceiling when he saw what was going on. One of his brows rose in question.I gave him a brief rundown of what I knew. Which was damn little. I shrugged when I was out of information to share. Mas came hopping in behind Ivan. He didn't have a weapon, but he did have concern etched on his face. "Who the hell are you?" a voice said from behind me. I whirled around, putting Nia behind my body as I faced the threat that shouldn't be there. A
After rushing through the shower and the delicious meal that Raphael put together for breakfast, I walked into the space Ivan and Klara had set up for me. Everything was as I left it, but that didn't mean a whole lot. Especially in a place I didn't control one hundred percent. Brushing the weird vibe away, I walked to the computer. Booted everything up. Once it was up and running, I went through my process of accessing my cloud accounts. Jasper had set some up for me that weren't the typical commercial kind. Luckily, I'd memorized the process, or I'd be up a creek with zero paddle at the moment. A ReadMe file was highlighted when I got all the way into my account. I right clicked, read through the metadata how Jasper showed me. Recognizing his signature, I opened the file. Ms. Flower~I've attached all of the information I could find re Cucumber Butt and Pretty Mean. You'll find them in the associated files.I snickered at Jasper's sense of humor. That kid was a genius and