Every single inch of my body yearned for release. Even my hair felt like it needed to come and I had no idea what that would even feel like. But I had to get away from here. Away from her. Her questions. Her scent. Her gaze that saw too much. Her words that dug too deep beneath my skin. Picking myself back up, I prayed my legs would hold me. It felt like I'd been roofied. But I knew I hadn't been. I looked at her over my shoulder. She looked a little lost. A bit confused. But she stood tall. Her shoulders back, her spine straight. She didn't have her hands out to keep her balance. She didn't have her belly caught in her throat. She didn't have invisible wounds bleeding beneath her skin. She'd ripped me open, shined a light into the belly of the void inside me, and demanded truth. Truth she hadn't earned. Truth she didn't deserve. Who do you love? Her voice ran through my mind again. I bit my tongue. My sore, bruised tongue. But I didn't spill my guts at her feet. Hadn
I lurked near the back wall in the shibari and kinbaku bi section of the club. Watching masters create intricate designs in rope while also restraining their partners was soothing to my soul. I didn't have the patience to learn, but I could appreciate the art in others. Through long practice, I kept my focus on the pair in front of me on the stage. Any stray thought of Si was pushed aside like a breeze through an open park. He didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Nothing except taking the Petters down. And no one would get in my way on this one. Not even a tall, handsome asshole who was broken inside. As I watched the rope bondage take shape, my instincts told me that something had shifted in the room. In the space directly around me. Without seeming to look like it, I cast an easy glance around me. The rope bondage section of S&B wasn't too full on any given night. It was pretty niche, even within the community. I noticed her immediately. For one, her idea of club gear was mor
Shoving my legs into my street clothes, I shoved back into the club. If Nia was part of the Petters, then I needed to talk to her. See if I could get on her good side. I could take them down from the inside out.A smile pulled at my mouth even as an odd sense of joy exploded through my chest. Her face shone in my mind's eye. Then another picture of her on the roof outside the Petters stronghold chased it away. My brow furrowed as I came to a halt. What the hell was she doing casing her own place? Ivan. I needed to talk to Ivan. Scanning the dining area, I didn't see him. Shit. I walked up to the bar. Remembering what had happened to me the last time, I tempered my tone. "Mishka, I need some help, please. Have you seen Ivan?"The huge man turned from the far end of the bar and came down to me. A smile on his face. "You learn quickly. I wasn't too sure when Ivan called you a stupid idiot." He wiped at a spot on the bar with a towel before he flicked it over his shoulder.
I couldn't believe it. It was almost too good to be true. And considering what I'd just talked about with Whitney, I had to tread carefully. Very carefully. "Will Raphael die if he doesn't complete his mission?""Yes. By my hand."Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Raphael flinch as the words came over the line. Whatever he'd done, it had been horrible. What kind of horror must it have been to get kicked out of a family like the Amatuccis? "Why?"His dusky skin paled. He shook his head, backed away from the phone as if it would strike out at him. "He put his family in danger. He came this close to killing me, my daughter, and two of my sisters-in-law."Agonized horror rose up on Raphael's face. A certain kind of resolution and penance marred his features. Whatever he'd done, had marked him, as well as his family. "Raphael, do you deserve to die by Eden's hand if you fail in your mission?" I asked him. He looked at me. He had the same look in his eyes as he had do
Smooshed into the backseat, I sat in silence while Ivan and Nia spoke in quiet tones. "Why no tell me you Petter?" Ivan asked. Nia shrugged. "I figured you knew. It's not exactly a secret around here."Ivan shifted to look at her for a long moment. "I thought you prostitute who works Petter. Not Petter."Nia's shoulders bumped into the air again. "Not my fault you don't listen to the club gossip. I've been with the Petters since I was six."Questions burned in the back of my throat, buzzed around my brain. I willed Ivan to ask them. Figured they'd get answered that way. I doubted Nia would answer any of my questions at all. "Slave?" Ivan asked. Nia's chin dropped in a short nod. "According to my mother, my father is a Petter. I'm searching for him." Something in her tone had me squinting at the back of her head. Her kinky black curls were a riot of midnight in the low lights of the dash. I wanted to reach out and squeeze them in my fingers. See if they were as resi
The emotion in the car was stifling. Overwhelming. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Which was stupid. So freaking stupid. So what if the brothers were having some kind of emotional reunion. Didn't matter to me. As long as the Petters went down, they could fuck each other on the car hood for all I cared. Raphael shook his head. "You think I'm dead."The driver shook his head. "I know my wife. Know her moods and when she's being sneaky. I've known about you for the last handful of weeks."Raphael shook his head again. His hands clenched into fists as he looked out the window. Tension vibrated off the man in seismic waves. If I didn't know any better, I'd assume he was trying to rebuild his walls. To shove himself back into some kind of shell. Become someone he thought he should be so his brother would love him. Reaching out, I shook my arm. Allowed one of my knives to fall out of its forearm holster and into my palm. I dug the tip of the knife into Raphael's thigh. Felt the s
Fuming, I stomped into the kitchen. Bracing my fists on the kitchen island, I breathed through the rage that swamped me. He thought he could just show up and take over. Take charge like he always did. Shove me to the side. Poor little Rafey can't figure out how to get out of a wet paper bag, he can't possibly run point on taking down our biggest enemies. Her scent caught me first. I looked up, turned, tried to wipe my expression clean. Seeing her in good lighting for the first time, I studied her. Even after a long night, she looked beautiful. The tip of her nose pointed up the slightest degree. Gave her a slightly impish look. But the expression in her aquamarine eyes killed any notion of flights of fancy. "Have any coffee?" she asked. That hadn't been what I expected her to say at all. I blew out a thankful breath. Shrugged. "I have no idea. But I'll check for you. Go take a seat." I pointed to the small four-seater dining table and chairs. She smiled. Nodded. "I'll do
I watched him go. He'd somehow managed to twist and turn everything I'd said around to suit his negative narcissism. He was skilled at that part of psychopathy, that was for damn sure. He might have gotten the last word this time, but I was determined to show him that he wasn't an evil person. Massimo was waiting outside the door. His face was thunderous as he allowed his brother to pass him. When he turned back to me, his eyes were cold and held my death. "Never again. Do you understand me?"I looked at the man. Let his threat roll off me like water off a duck's back. "Do you know that he plans to allow the Petters to kill him?"Massimo jolted slightly. "I won't let that happen."I snorted. "Yeah, and you and your wife seem to be doing a real bang up job making him face his demons."Massimo's hands clenched into fists. "What do you know of his demons? You barely know him."As if time was the only thing that allowed a deeper knowing of someone else. Sure, time was importan
I crept along the rooftop. The target was staying in the long term suites across the road. It was our first night, and it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders the farther we got from New Trenadie. The next moment, I crashed to the roof's floor. "Damn it." She snickered. "Still a sucky spy, Raphael." She slid her body over mine.I sucked in a breath. Nodded. Hell, I practically begged her for it. But without words. When she got that tone, my words were not necessary. She smiled. "I'm not going to beat you to death. Nor am I going to stuff you into a padded room." She bent down, flicked her tongue over my lips. "But I will tie you up, spank you, flog you, fuck you, and then make you do it all over again. My dick went to iron between her legs. Her laugh was husky. "I'm keeping you, Raphael. Do you understand me?"My heart settled. Skipped a beat. "Yes, Mistress."The end.
My phone dinged with a new incoming text message. Considering my phone had been going off since the wee hours of the morning with Willow and Ryker announcing the baby was finally coming, I was tempted to just shut it off. But it could be something important. And since Angelo and I were at home with the other babies, it fell to us to make sure we kept everything running as it should. I grabbed the phone. Unlocked the screen. A video message popped up. Raphael and his girl, Nia. Their heads mushed together to get into frame. "Momma, I have to leave. But I wanted to tell you I love you. And thank you for everything. I will let you know when I get back." Nia smiled. "I'll keep him safe, Momma. I swear it.""Bye, Momma," they said together before they ended the call.I smiled even as tears filled my eyes. Angelo looked up at me from his spot on the bed. He was restrained, a ball gag in his mouth. I held the crop up high. "Our last baby is finally happy, Angelo." I s
Two weeks later I glared at the woman on the table. "I still don't know why I have to be here. I barely know you."Willow snorted. "Because you're scarier than anyone else in my family. And I don't want those doctors trying to get all bitchyyyyyyyy." Another contraction hit her. She clamped down on my hand hard enough that I thought I was going to need surgery to remove the bones from each other. And this little firecracker had more strength inside her than her grip would show. Raphael had told me some of her story. She'd told me the rest of it. A ritual the Amatucci women apparently indulged in was something called Girls' Night. Really it was a bunch of drinking, talking about sex, and watching movies while we ate enough of Willow's confectionaries to give ourselves diabetes. Willow blew out a breath. "Ryker can't handle seeing me in this kind of pain, so he has to stay out in the lobby with the rest of them. You're second chair." She panted. Demanded some ice chips.
Three days laterWalking into my parents house when they didn't know I was alive was a risky thing. A multitude of crappy things could happen. Not the least of which was Momma killing me for real this time. Or Papa crying. Or either of them fainting."Go on," Nia said as she shoved me forward gently. "You're already here. Just go into the kitchen. Nik said she told them to wait for her in the kitchen."I nodded, felt my palms go clammy as my breath backed up in my lungs. This could go terribly wrong. So fucking horribly wrong. Man up, Si, that no longer too small voice said inside me. Since I'd been actively listening to it more, he wasn't so easy to shut up. Even when I wanted to. Thankfully, the nasty bitch who lived inside me was getting fainter. Although he could still throw a temper tantrum to beat a two year old. "I'm right here. And I'll be right here the whole time. They've waited long enough, Raphael." She nudged me again. Even as bile rushed up the back o
We all stood in the kitchen, guzzling water by the gallon. I hadn't been this dehydrated since the last time I got in trouble at Petter Manor. But at least this time it was due to happy tears and reunification. Raphael sat and watched it all. Just absorbed it. But he never got so far away I couldn't touch him. That I even needed to touch him still blew my mind. But I wasn't going to question it. He helped steady me when it felt like everything inside me and around me was bending and flexing too fast for me to catch up. "What are your plans for tomorrow?" Liam asked as he finished his third glass of water. "Tomorrow is the gala. I'm going to string Anders up-the guy who had you kidnapped again. I'm going to tell everyone the Petters have been blackmailing and abusing and paying off that the Petters are dead and gone. That they're all on watch." I studied Liam and Lilly. It blew my mind that they had gone into the government side of this dirty world. That they willingly put t
Nia came over to me while I was helping drag some bodies away. "Hey Raphael, can you come with me, please?"Foster grunted at me as we got the body up on the catering cart. "Go. I've got this." I nodded, turned back to Nia. "Sure, Nia." She took my hand and we walked from the room. Her hand was trembling in mine. It was only the slightest degree, but it might as well have registered on the seismic scale. "You good?" I asked her softly as we walked down a set of stairs. She said nothing, made no movements except to keep walking. I pulled her to a stop. Made her look at me. "Are you good?" I asked again. Her eyes were wide, as if she were trying to stave off the tears. "Amelie and Anton..." she blew out a breath. "They're t-""The only two people you love in this world." I smiled sadly. "I know, Nia."Her eyelids fluttered shut as a tear escaped down her cheek. Her breath was shaky as she exhaled. "I got them away from here. Put them in with a good woman with a hu
Day before the gala "Charlie team in position," the man's voice came through the little earbud I wore in my right ear. I kept a tight hold on my fear. My relief. My heart. All of the planning, all of the tears, all of the arguments. It all came down to this. "Delta team in position," Raphael said through my ear. "Foxtrot team in position," another voice said. I still wasn't quite sure who was who by their voice, but I'd done an okayish job of remembering names and faces. The fact that I had a team full of women with me made me like the Amatuccis even more. They didn't discriminate. If someone had the skill and the drive to join the security teams, they were given a position. "Estrogen team in position," I said. A series of clicks came through the earbud. I'd made a single joke about Echo team being full of vaginas. They called us the Estro team now. Since we were collectively badass, I didn't really care what they called us as long as it wasn't disrespectful. "A
Her babies? She had kids? I shook my head. Knew there had to be a different story, but I needed to get her back with me to learn it. I set her down on the chair. Pushed her head down between her knees. "Breathe, Nia." I made my voice hard. As hard as I dared when all I wanted to do was cuddle her up and carry her away. Nowhere was my fierce and strong Dominant. Right now, she was a broken, hurting woman. I would hold her together until she could find herself again. Ivan came rushing into the room, his gun drawn. He lifted it to the ceiling when he saw what was going on. One of his brows rose in question.I gave him a brief rundown of what I knew. Which was damn little. I shrugged when I was out of information to share. Mas came hopping in behind Ivan. He didn't have a weapon, but he did have concern etched on his face. "Who the hell are you?" a voice said from behind me. I whirled around, putting Nia behind my body as I faced the threat that shouldn't be there. A
After rushing through the shower and the delicious meal that Raphael put together for breakfast, I walked into the space Ivan and Klara had set up for me. Everything was as I left it, but that didn't mean a whole lot. Especially in a place I didn't control one hundred percent. Brushing the weird vibe away, I walked to the computer. Booted everything up. Once it was up and running, I went through my process of accessing my cloud accounts. Jasper had set some up for me that weren't the typical commercial kind. Luckily, I'd memorized the process, or I'd be up a creek with zero paddle at the moment. A ReadMe file was highlighted when I got all the way into my account. I right clicked, read through the metadata how Jasper showed me. Recognizing his signature, I opened the file. Ms. Flower~I've attached all of the information I could find re Cucumber Butt and Pretty Mean. You'll find them in the associated files.I snickered at Jasper's sense of humor. That kid was a genius and