LOGINShare
86. Whole Week without him
Last Updated:
2022-03-12 02:10:27It's not easy. It's not easy to forget my dreadful past and start over. I'm scared, but seeing Ashar like this being generous and sugary has weakened me to be angry on him, to push him away, to tell him to stop his sweet torture on me.
And the hurt I observe on his face every time I taunt him or reject him leaves me ashamed, especially when he do not react to my temperament and deal with me patiently, as if he understands my inner battles and fears, as if he can now finally understand my suffering.
His love confession took me to another world and forced me to sink deep into the feeling that's once again has erupted in me.
But I'm not an impulsive and foolish teenager anymore so I won't take any decision thoughtlessly this time. I'm scared to fall in love again. I'm not certain if I would be able to survive another heartbreak or not. I'm not even sure if I want to try this marriage or not. Ashar and I are worlds apart and what he did to me back then, how
Related chapters
Am I married? 87. The Regrets of the Past
Five hours later I hear that voice, the voice I was longing to hear."Sanaya? Why are you sitting on the floor?" Ashar sits beside me and touches my shoulder.Hearing his comforting voice, make me burst into tears once again, increasing my guilt. I don't deserve to be Zoya mother. I don't deserve to be a mother at all when I don't know how to look after a child."You're giving me creeps." He sounds scared, sitting on his knees, "Tell me, please.""I'm not a good Mom." I sob, burying my face in my palms.He holds my hand, "Look at me."I turn my face in his direction. He looks frightened and exhausted. He also would have felt devastated after hearing the panicky news.He opens his mouth to say further, but stops when he sees doctor passes by. He leaves my hand, stands up and swiftly blocks the doctor's path."Are you treating my daughter? Her name is Zoya."I don't look at them, just hear their conversation. I hug my knee
Last Updated : 2022-03-12Am I married? Special Chapter (Ashar's POV)
I'm cooperative, easy and polite boss and look after my employees' needs, still some of them planned to betray me. It staggers me those perpetrators were not happy with me and selling my company's secrets to the Braydens Enterprise. They are our rivalry and competitor. They have bugged us for years through their foolish ways and this time, they crossed the line. They bought my employees and asked them to disclose Hobsons private information to them. Thankfully my staff caught all of the culprits who were working for Braydens. But, still some bits of our information are now in their hands and that's bothersome. I stayed in New York for almost nine days because my company needed them. I couldn't keep my words to Sanaya that I would be back by the end of the week. I hardly got time to eat or sleep. I slept only four hours a day and at times I felt like I had no energy left in my body due to continuously looking after matters at office. Because of my tight
Last Updated : 2022-03-12Am I married? 88. Early Morning Proposal
My eyes flutter opened. I turn on my side. Zoya's sleeping figure brings back the memories of last night and takes my sleep away. I caress her cheek and smile to myself, recalling that she's now healthy and with me.I rise to sitting position, cast a glance at the wall-clock. It's seven in the morning. Recalling the argument I had with Ashar last night, I wonder where he could be right now. I have a faint memory that he carried me to my room, but I was feeling too knackered and weak to react.The realization trickles through me that I acted selfish throughout the situation and didn't pay attention to Ashar's pain. Zoya is his daughter too. He loves her too. He also would have been frightened and felt helpless like me, but I was so lost in my own pain that I forgot about his fears.It's all my fault that made all of us suffered and still Ashar didn't complain, didn't allege me for anything instead tried to soothe away my affliction.From now I'll put aside
Last Updated : 2022-03-12Am I married? 89. In the Meeting Room
Next few days Ashar and I remain busy with our own office work. Due to my busy schedule, I get no time to contact him or talk to him and I assumed he is busy as well because he didn't make any effort to see me. However today I'm going to see him. He has called the entire team again to his office to revise the budget of his whole product marketing and he wants to discuss the plan with us.All of the team members decide to go together through a subway so I just follow them. I have planned to take out sometime today after meeting and ask from him about his father. When we reach to his office, he's already sitting in the meeting room, waiting for us.Derek moves forward to greet him. Ashar stands up from his chair and shakes hands with him, "How your meeting was with the Benicio?"Ashar opens his mouth to reply him, but Laila interrupts him, "Hey." She stupidly smiles at him and extends her hand to him.I roll my eyes, feeling furious at her desperate behavio
Last Updated : 2022-03-12Am I married? 90. Is it Me?
The fact that bothers me the most is that Ashar all by himself raised Zoya for three years. This is the biggest surprise for me so far. It shows his persistence towards his goal that he keeps on repeating to me that he wants to unite his family.After knowing all of his reasons, I'm still failed to move on or start over because the fears inside control me.Every time I think of calling him or thinking to talk about our marriage, the flashbacks of his vicious behavior begins crossing in my head and stops me to take a further step.I'm sitting on my office desk and staring at my computer screen. These days I can't much concentrate on my work.I minimize the document opened on my computer and go to a search engine. I think of searching about Matt Hobsons. If he had a serious illness then it was certain news media would've talked about it. I would get more information about him and get an idea how Ashar would've went through that time.I was right. As
Last Updated : 2022-03-12Am I married? 91. Trust Broken
I further open the door to get a full view of the scene. Samara steps forward to him. Ashar understands her gesture so he opens his arms. They both hug each other."I wanted to surprise you and see your reaction." She smiles against his shoulder.Blood drains from my face. My head starts spinning to the level that I start seeing two of them.Both of them are so lost in each other that they don't even notice my presence when I enter in Ashar's office.They are still close, still together. The woman who started everything, who ruined my whole life is looking so happy in his arms. Was she in contact with him the whole time Ashar was with me? Was Ashar fooling me or what? That thought trembles my heart in fear."I'm glad to see you." Ashar pats her back.They both pull back and smile to each other.Samara's hands remain on Ashar's chest, "Why are you looking so pale? Don't you eat properly or you're working too much?"Ashar c
Last Updated : 2022-03-12Am I married? 92. The Painful Realization
I was doing painting with Zoya when I heard the doorbell. I get out of the bed and instruct her, "You stay here. I'll be back."I took a half day from work, thought of spending some time with my daughter. I have to spend more time with her in order to hide the truth about Ashar. I don't know for how long I could conceal it from her that her daddy is not going to talk to him.I open the door. My eyes widen to its full length when I see that woman who had turned my life upside down, standing on my doorway.Samara steps inside my house, "Hi, Sanaya. Long time no see." She looks around, "Your place is nice and warm.""How dare you." I mutter.Anger begins pulsing through me to the extent that I feel I'm going to burst into flames any minute."Nah. That's not how you welcome a guest to your house." She shakes her head, giving me a warm smile."You're not a welcomed guest." I snap aloud."How have you been? It's been ages." She ignor
Last Updated : 2022-03-12Am I married? 93. The Friend's Wedding
I thought a lot. I took two whole days to decide what I should do next; whether I should go after him and apologize or just leave the things the way they are right now.I'm scared and too ashamed to face him after ruthlessly pushing him out of my life. I know his whereabouts, his office, his home address, but still unable to muster audacity to apologize to him.I'm afraid of his anger, his rejection that he won't forgive me and tell me that he wants to stick to his decision. However I tried calling him, but his phone was switched off and that thing demotivated me.Zoya kept on pestering me with her questions like; where's daddy, when are you going to take me to him and why he's not taking my calls. I'm tired of making excuses to her and I guess she now smells a rat."Are you sure with your decision?" Carol whispers a question in my ear.I give her a side glance, nodding my head, "Yes. I'll leave after the wedding."She's about to say somethi
Last Updated : 2022-03-12
Latest chapter
Am I married? Epilogue (Cont...)
Sighing in exasperation, I allow Zoya to do what her daddy has said. I stand on my feet and sit on the bed. Curiosity is bubbling up in me. I want to know what both of them are doing secretly. I'll be mad at Ashar if he has changed his plan of coming here. I mean, I have prepared dinner for him, even got ready for him and he's not coming here. It has been a week since I last saw him and seems like he didn't miss me. He didn't even sound excited on call while talking to me and here I'm being so eager to see him, hear him. I sit on my bed for like ten minutes all alone and try to think of Ashar's reasons when finally my doorbell rings. Maybe Zoya is back. I'm going to get all the details from her. I pull opened the door and become startled when I witness Ashar instead of Zoya. My mind forgets all complains and anger in a swift and I feel myself lose into a trance. In blue slim fit jeans, white striped shirt and a black jacket on it, he's looking dropped
Am I married? Epilogue
Mutually Ashar and I have decided to arrange a small wedding at the Church and invite only few people like his family and my friends. We have to get married properly this time in order to get rid of all the confusions. Ashar have also asked the lawyer to renew our marriage papers also. After that he will publicly disclose our marriage.The wedding date right now is indecisive. We have planned to discuss on it after he'll be back from his business trip. He said the trip is important so he has to go, but he has promised me he'll be back in a week this time.In his absence I get a chance to spend some time with his family, even went for a baby shopping with Estella. She's so excited about her first baby that she has planned to buy all the stuff for the new-born on her own. She invited me to go with her. Katherine and Matt also gave me a warm welcome after that party and told me stories of Zoya and how they took care of her altogether.I'm surprised but above
Am I married? 96. The Three Conditions
I turn straight and slowly open my eyes. Looking here and there, I acknowledge the different environment around me. Soon everything comes back to my mind and I rise to sitting position. I notice a quilt covering me and I'm still on Ashar's sofa. "How long did I sleep?" I ask to myself, settling my hair through my fingers. "Three hours." Ashar enters into the room, looks at me, crossing his arms on his chest. "Uh?" I react in bewilderment. He has changed his clothes from tux to checkered loose trouser and crew neckline, maroon, plain tee shirt. His hair are ruffled and some of the locks are falling over on his forehead. "You've been sleeping here since three hours." "What?" I widen my eyes and immediately stand up, getting rid of the quilt. My legs are now much better, "You should've woken me up. I only thought to get a quick nap until you'll be free. Where's Zoya?" He laughs, walking towards me, "Don't worry. She's with Mom." H
Am I married? 95. The Reconciliation
Times changes, so does people, so does our situations. They realize they were wrong as they become more mature with time. A bad person doesn't always remain bad. We should appreciate him if he musters courage to apologize and repent for his mistakes with a thought that you're not a saint either.That's what I've learnt from my experience. I've decided to let go of every bad memory of my past life and start over; give myself another chance and also to Ashar. Besides, Ashar have already compensated for his mistakes by looking after my daughter all alone, by living as my husband for more than three years."What exactly you were thinking? Why did you turn off your phone?" I breath out.Ashar draws his brows together as he frowns at me. His hands are still hiding in his pockets. He's in plain formal wear, looking clean cut and fresh. His hair are perfectly combed towards his side. My stomach twists. Just a look of him takes away all of my worries and glistens my eyes
Am I married? 94. Back to the Mansion
After five hours long flight, I land to my home city. Zoya is bored and haggard due to the long journey, but she's not complaining. She knows we are going to see her father.I don't know whether my decision is right or not of coming here and leaving everything behind. I started a new life in another state, but I left it with a thought that I want to stay away from Ashar and his family, but now I don't have to.Even if I and Ashar won't work out, still I don't have to leave this place. I want to live in New York. Through my contacts, I have already managed to find a place for myself and Zoya so I have decided to first go there, put our baggage there and change our clothes into comfortable ones and then I'll go to his house; Hobsons' Mansion.I jump inside the subway with Zoya and get settled on the vacant chair.I snake my arms around Zoya's shoulder. She scoots closer and put her head on my chest, "Sleep for a while, Sweetheart. You look tired."Sh
Am I married? 93. The Friend's Wedding
I thought a lot. I took two whole days to decide what I should do next; whether I should go after him and apologize or just leave the things the way they are right now.I'm scared and too ashamed to face him after ruthlessly pushing him out of my life. I know his whereabouts, his office, his home address, but still unable to muster audacity to apologize to him.I'm afraid of his anger, his rejection that he won't forgive me and tell me that he wants to stick to his decision. However I tried calling him, but his phone was switched off and that thing demotivated me.Zoya kept on pestering me with her questions like; where's daddy, when are you going to take me to him and why he's not taking my calls. I'm tired of making excuses to her and I guess she now smells a rat."Are you sure with your decision?" Carol whispers a question in my ear.I give her a side glance, nodding my head, "Yes. I'll leave after the wedding."She's about to say somethi
Am I married? 92. The Painful Realization
I was doing painting with Zoya when I heard the doorbell. I get out of the bed and instruct her, "You stay here. I'll be back."I took a half day from work, thought of spending some time with my daughter. I have to spend more time with her in order to hide the truth about Ashar. I don't know for how long I could conceal it from her that her daddy is not going to talk to him.I open the door. My eyes widen to its full length when I see that woman who had turned my life upside down, standing on my doorway.Samara steps inside my house, "Hi, Sanaya. Long time no see." She looks around, "Your place is nice and warm.""How dare you." I mutter.Anger begins pulsing through me to the extent that I feel I'm going to burst into flames any minute."Nah. That's not how you welcome a guest to your house." She shakes her head, giving me a warm smile."You're not a welcomed guest." I snap aloud."How have you been? It's been ages." She ignor
Am I married? 91. Trust Broken
I further open the door to get a full view of the scene. Samara steps forward to him. Ashar understands her gesture so he opens his arms. They both hug each other."I wanted to surprise you and see your reaction." She smiles against his shoulder.Blood drains from my face. My head starts spinning to the level that I start seeing two of them.Both of them are so lost in each other that they don't even notice my presence when I enter in Ashar's office.They are still close, still together. The woman who started everything, who ruined my whole life is looking so happy in his arms. Was she in contact with him the whole time Ashar was with me? Was Ashar fooling me or what? That thought trembles my heart in fear."I'm glad to see you." Ashar pats her back.They both pull back and smile to each other.Samara's hands remain on Ashar's chest, "Why are you looking so pale? Don't you eat properly or you're working too much?"Ashar c
Am I married? 90. Is it Me?
The fact that bothers me the most is that Ashar all by himself raised Zoya for three years. This is the biggest surprise for me so far. It shows his persistence towards his goal that he keeps on repeating to me that he wants to unite his family.After knowing all of his reasons, I'm still failed to move on or start over because the fears inside control me.Every time I think of calling him or thinking to talk about our marriage, the flashbacks of his vicious behavior begins crossing in my head and stops me to take a further step.I'm sitting on my office desk and staring at my computer screen. These days I can't much concentrate on my work.I minimize the document opened on my computer and go to a search engine. I think of searching about Matt Hobsons. If he had a serious illness then it was certain news media would've talked about it. I would get more information about him and get an idea how Ashar would've went through that time.I was right. As
