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9. The One Where I Am Confused
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2022-09-01 22:47:13Related chapters
Always is not Forever 10. The One Where I Face Them
[ A L I N A ' S P O V ]"You should've called your dad." Meenu Auntie chided me as soon as she caught my luggage bag. A frown settled on her face, disappointment covered her whole face, but I ignored it and stared at my wrist and traced the path of the bandage."I did," I said emotionlessly. "He didn't pick up."Called him after a month, called everyone after a month, conveying I would be next week because I was going worried sick about Kabir's mother because I was scared staying alone in the hostel among few girls. I had thought of staying in Kabir's apartment, but then let the thought sail away.See them once and get over it. Get over because you need to.Putting my luggage at the back, she sat back with me and told the cabbie the address to home."What about this secrecy?" She demanded.When nobody had picked up the call, I had called Meenu Auntie, informing her and she was delighted I was coming back. I had told her I would catch a cab, but she hushed down my plans and informed s
Last Updated : 2022-09-03Always is not Forever 11. The One Where I Face The Reality
"Kabir, where are we going?" I caught his hand to stop his movements. The street was strange to me, no doubt every street in Bangalore was strange to me. I didn't get much time to wander around. Kriti had said we would explore the city on the weekend in her activa.He rolled his eyes, grinning. "Remember we played twenty questions once and you told me you love Punjabi food after South Indian?" I nodded. "And last night you were complaining that you're sick of sambhar." I nodded along with his words, growing restless. "Damn woman, stay calm." He laughed. "This street has best Punjabi food.""Is it?""Of course, my foodie girl.""I'm not a foodie.""You are." He slung his arm across my neck, pushing us inside the restaurant. "You ate the whole pizza last weekend.""I was hungry," I argued. "I'm never coming to your apartment again."To my reply, he smirked and pulled the chair back. "My lady. Shall we?"I sat down and gleamed at his side. "Do you realize we've never gone out like a date?
Last Updated : 2022-09-04Always is not Forever 12. The One Where I Enjoy
A knock interrupted me from the reading. Pushing my glasses, I stood up, unlocked the door and opened it.Dad was standing outside with a tray in his hand."You were hungry." I stepped aside, letting him enter. He had changed his clothes to casual. Placing the tray on the bed, he waited for me to join him. Sighing, I settled opposite to him as he revealed the dishes and the mug of hot chocolate. "Sorry, you had to hear that.""Papa." He levitated his gaze upwards. "I'm sorry for not picking your call.""You must be busy," He didn't mean it as a taunt or snide remark. He hoped I was busy."I wasn't," I squeezed my eyes tightly."Oh." Happiness wore down his face. "Then why? I thought everything was okay between us.""I'm sorry." I shook my head rapidly, curled my hand on top of my thigh. "I was mean. Forgive me.""Nothing to forgive, Alina. Just don't ignore my call again, okay? It worries me. When Kabir told you weren't coming, I was going to fly to Bangalore.""When you met Kabir?" I
Last Updated : 2022-09-07Always is not Forever 13. The One Where I Help Her
"Akshay, this is Alina. Alina, this is my partner in crime," Kabir introduced us. "We used to play pranks on Nisha."Akshay dipped his head a bit, his face crackled in the glowing lights."You're the topic in our relatives." He grinned, and Kabir's look turned to tensed from playful. "Some guts you both have admitted your relationship and putting us all in danger. You should've kept it secret. These oldies won't let you live. Twenty-one and they'll be forcing you to marry."My eyes widened at his words, and frantically, I searched for Kabir's face, who shook his head at his brother."Don't scare her like that," Kabir hissed. "Alina, don't listen to him. He's mad." I nodded because accepting that was much better than the word his brother had pushed inside my brain. Marry? Was he absurd? I was just eighteen.Excusing myself, I engaged with Nisha and her cousins. It was much better than meeting with Akshay, but it wasn't for long they started asking me about Kabir. God, was this the only
Last Updated : 2022-09-08Always is not Forever 14. The One Where I Worry
[ K A B I R ' S P O V ]"Thanks for the gift." Nisha beamed beside me, but her whole attention was on the bracelet strapped to her wrist. It had cost me a fortune and I had no idea how dad would react to finding I had used too much from my debit card. He had set a limit for both me and Nisha, but I had overdone it this time. I could've gotten her a new dress, but it wasn't worth it. Her closet was filled with them, and she had all the supplies for her paints.And I was running late. So, in the end, along with Mom, I had gone to the jewelry shop. I had to give her something on Bhai Dooj."It must be expensive," She whispered, tensed."It's okay. You loved it. That's what matters.""But dad—""I'll handle it. Excited about England?" Dad informed her yesterday. She had been in shock but then jumped on the couch, screaming she was going to England and teasing me because I couldn't go.Some devil she was. She was getting back on the car thing."A lot." She smirked. "I'm going to miss y
Last Updated : 2022-09-09Always is not Forever 15. The One Where I Burnt The Castle
Tugging my hand, she took me to the room, situated behind the stairs and closed her door."Alina!" Her mom shouted."Come in and I'll burn this room as well." And that stopped her mom. She turned around and gave me a look, a hard look. "What are you doing here? Who told you? Are you stupid?""I am?!" I raised my voice. "You burned your room. Have you gone mad? Why did you do that?""I had to!" She screamed back. "You don't understand." Her voice weakened. "You think I'm mad too, don't you? You must be scared of me.""Did you take your medicines?" I asked carefully.However, she had a whole different response to it. "I'm not sick! Will everyone stop asking for pills?!" She clutched her head. "I'm not sick.""Hey, hey." I removed her hands from her head. "Of course, you're not sick."She slipped past me, resided on her bed and covered her face with her hands. Giving a look at her slightly burned hand, I caught it and brushed my thumb across it."You should apply paste." Standing up, I lo
Last Updated : 2022-09-10Always is not Forever 16. The One Where We Are Same
[ K A B I R P O V ]I paced back and forth in the living room, endeavoring to control my anxious thoughts. What was mom talking with her? Was she saying her to stay away from me? Was she scolding her for being reckless like that? No doubt mom wasn't a person to get angry easily, and she handled things with calm rather than anger, but she was still my mom.At some time, she too loses her patience like I was running out of now."We should send her to doctor again," Her mom's voice invaded my ear."Doctor?" I halted to look at a man, probably in his sixties. "Does she have a fever?"So, he didn't know Alina used to see a therapist.Amused, I glanced at her mom, flustered and trying to come with an excuse. "No, dad. For her hand, I meant."I rolled my eyes. They were her grandparents, the one who accused Alina of lying and causing her doubt to see if telling was the right thing she had done. The last time Alina had informed they were ready to talk to her, and after that, I heard no news
Last Updated : 2022-09-11Always is not Forever 17. The One Where I Make A Start
"I thought we were going to club on Friday," Deb said."Yes, that reminded me." Kabir turned to face me. "Come this Friday with me.""I've curfew after eight thirty.""Don't worry about that," He explained. "Kriti?" He slid his gaze to her. "You live with your cousin, right?" She nodded. "Would she mind if Alina stays the night?" My eyes widened at his question. Had he already planned all of it? Shouldn't I show some excitement? I had told him I would enter his world, see the nightlife he preferred so much."It would be amazing." Kriti jumped in her seat. "But I'm coming too.""I thought you were." He frowned. "Alina won't come without you." He knew I would be uncomfortable among his friends. And my heart melted on his thoughts, on his nature of thinking about each and every detail about me."What about the hostel?" I asked. "They'll call at home if I'm not here, and—" Fiza wouldn't mind ratting me out to the warden."That is already solved. Misha is ready to pose as your mother and ca
Last Updated : 2022-09-12
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Always is not Forever 120. The One Where He Proposes
Rubbing my neck with the hand, I felt his presence on my back. "What is he doing here?"I turned to face him. "Kabir--""Alina, no." He cornered me, caging between his body by placing both of his hands on the counter table. "It's ten at the night.""He came. I couldn't say him to leave.""Or you could have said it's not ideal for him to come," He shot back, straining lines visible on his forehead. "You looked uncomfortable. Did he say something?"Nothing just confessed it to me and I had no idea why he thought he loved me when he knew nothing about me except the things I shared in the support group when he had no idea how needy I was, how I seek for attention."No," I whispered. "You got late.""Work." Pranit voice from the hall echoed in the kitchen and Kabir's eyes darkened. "I hate him. When I see him, I see how you said you loved him." But it was a lie. I was trying to hurt you, make you see how you leaving had impacted me. "I know you both have same past," He dragged a shaky brea
Always is not Forever 119. The One Where I Reject Him
"Come again?" Dr. Sha asked, her hands flying from right to left, hitting the ping pong ball with the red colored bat.Hitting with my bat, I tried to dodge her attempts to make me lose a point. "Why are we playing ping pong?""Don't you get bored staying in a room?""Kind of."But this wasn't what I had expected when she called for an outside meeting instead in her building's cabin. I had thought a café maybe, or someplace quiet but she had surprised by calling me to a club and assured nobody would come in this room."Your dad was ready to allow it.""His friend owns the club," I mumbled dryly, the sound of the hitting echoing in the four walls."And he loves you," She pointed out, smashing the ball and before I could hit, it flew from my side. "And you lost a point.""Funny," Grumbling, I walked to one of the corners, picked the ball and started the game again. The sweat had started forming on the forehead, my grip on the handle of the bat was losing, my wrists were aching. What was
Always is not Forever 118. The One Where I Face It At Last
Yawning, I closed my books and stretched my legs. Getting up from the bed, I walked out of the room to find something to eat. Switching on the lights, I found a note stuck to the refrigerator.Food is in the microwave. You were sleeping. Must be hard practice 😝 Ps. Heat and eat.Chuckling at her handmade emoji, I crumbled the note and threw it in the dustbin before opening the microwave and found the plate in it. She never forgot about me. Twitching my lips, I brought the plate out and grabbed a spoon.Cold food was better than hot food and she wouldn't understand that.She wouldn't understand why I had gone straight to the bed after coming back from college, she wouldn't understand how much it was killing to know that how deep secrets we both were holding.Before I could take a spoon, the kitchen walls were invaded by the screams.Alina.Dropping the spoon, I sprinted to her room, opened the gate and saw her struggling in her bed. She hadn't gotten any dreams since she had started s
Always is not Forever 117. The One Where He Knows
"I still think you shouldn't go," Kabir's voice brought me back to present.Shaking my head, I tried to remove the memory. It was before I had started imagining him as Rishi, it was before when we were happy and there used to nothing other than nightmares to trouble our relationship.Now we had to be careful. This careful was getting on my nerves."It's fine," I stated, changing the song on the stereo of the car."Here." He passed me his phone, connected it to the black aux cable. "Listen any you want."Taking his phone, I went through the songs, ignoring the EDMs he loved to hear and settled on something soft to not make him hyper."Now, Dhruv and you. You're traveling too much.""I'm not. He needs me. He's all alone, handling Ria." I curled on the seat. "She's too small. She needs to see people love her despite her father leaving for jobs. And Dhruv deserves a break.""I get you're worried. We all are." He dabbed his palm on the horn. "But look at yourself. You're squeezing your sch
Always is not Forever 116. The One Where I Miss
[ A L I N A ' S P O V ]Gripping the pen tightly, I wrote down the explanation of the sonnet, completing the work that had been due last night. I blamed it on my over-worrying boyfriend who couldn't keep his mouth shut on why I was traveling this much. From past two months, I had been pacing back and forth between Bangalore and Delhi every weekend.He was getting angry.And I was getting pissed.Sighing, I placed the pen between the pages. Just two more lines, Alina and then you could go and shower to remove the aftermath of mediation and yoga."What you writing?" Hearing him, I levitated my head to stare at his face, but then, my gaze dropped to his chest.Where was his shirt? And why the hell wasn't I changing my gaze?Gulping, I paid attention to the white pages, overwritten by my hands. "Sonnet explanation. College work. You didn't go to GYM?""I'm taking a time off for a while," he answered, moving across the kitchen to grab a bowl for himself and picked the milk carton from m
Always is not Forever 115. The One Where Reality Is Out
***"You!" Shouting, I shut the door of her cabin. Jennifer looked up from the files. "In my cabin now."She raised her eyebrows in amusement and nodded. Who told her to tell lies to Alina? I got her teasing on me, I accepted it but feeding lies to her wasn't acceptable. I was an inch away from losing Alina again. Inch away to destroy all the progress we both had made after getting back together.Taking a deep breath, I entered my office and turned to face her. Yesterday, I had spent all my day to get new clothes before selling my old clothes and helping Alina with the packing.She was moving back with me. Good. I could see clearly how she was scared of me.Jennifer stepped in. "Now that's the Kabir I know. Angry and dominating one."Rolling my eyes, I nodded my head to the money placed on the table. "You're leaving India in next twenty-four hours. This is your pay. You're no longer my assistant.""I answer to your father, not to you." She crossed her arms over her chest. "He sent me.
Always is not Forever 114. The One Where The Past Begins
Staring ahead at the scene, I smiled and tapped my fingers on her arm. She turned with a smile and slipped her hand around my waist."I missed you.""You did?""Yup," She grinned. "Don't go again."Laughing lightly, I was about to reply when her figure disappeared from my arms and all I could see was the face of her house perched in front of me. What was I doing here? I was in our apartment, meeting her after a long time.A hand tugged on my shirt. Peering down, I stared at the girl."Kabir, save me." Confused by her statement, I wondered what she was talking about me. "Save me, Kabir," She cried, thumping her hand on my chest. "You promised you'll save me. Save me now."She took a run inside the house. Frowning a bit, I followed her inside, took the flight of stairs and entered the room I hadn't been into for past three years.Wasn't it burned? Wasn't it locked?My feet thumped on the old familiar room, looking for the small girl but, all I found was Alina standing at the corner, sta
Always is not Forever 113. The One Where We Solve
Presenting a smile, I stood up, took the clothes and strode to her bathroom. Shedding the rest of my clothes, I entered the shower and cleaned the disgusting things sticking to my body. When I checked for a shower gel and shampoo, I found the girly stuff and sighed. Looks like I would be smelling like her until the morning.As I was washing my hair, all the previous month we had spent together started biting my places. She was too distant from me. Her words seemed to be held and assessed carefully. Maybe moving in with me would change everything, maybe we would be different then, maybe we would back to our love life.But what about the insecurities? How would I solve them?"Kabir, are you done?" She knocked the door. "Was I too harsh? Is it not removing? Do you need my help?""Yes, it's not removing!" I shouted back, smirking. "Help me.""Tie a towel."Looking around the shower, I grabbed the towel from the upper shelve and tied it around my waist. "Done." My eyes remained glued to th
Always is not Forever 112. The One Where I Become A Joke
Alina's expression didn't change, her hands remained still at her side, her eyes narrowed at me."You're lying." Again, the same sentence. "She saw you without clothes.""I'm aware," I confessed. "Once she came in my penthouse. I was roaming in my briefs and she saw it." Seeing her expression, I added quickly, "I did yell at her for disturbing my privacy. I changed the code too. I didn't know she knew about it. She purchased the penthouse. I should've been aware.""But you kissed her." She clutched the arms of the chair tightly. And that was the reason I didn't want to tell her. "I can't stop imagining when you kissed her." She dragged a long, shaky breath before facing me, turmoil residing in her black eyes. "You wanted to forget me?" With reluctance, I nodded. "Was I that bad?""No, I just love you too much," I replied honestly. "Wouldn't you have done anything to forget me?""True." Standing on her toes, she trudged to my side, caught my face in her hands and inched it closer to he
