105. The One Where I Shoot

Write, Alina.

I ordered, screamed, yelled and shouted those words in my mind but none worked as I tried to further than the word The or the date I had put up or the heading.

The blank page stared back at me, waiting to be filled up but my fingers didn't move and I shut the lid of the laptop with a bang. Staring at the silver lid laid on my lap, I threw the laptop across the room, frustrated by my own behavior.

Alina, you were not spineless. You were more than what she had said.

Irritation pricked and jabbed at my sides as I stared at the almost destroyed laptop and every other document of mine destroying itself if I didn't check it out. Alina, care about it. Your book was in there.

But I didn't.

I fucking don't care.

I wanted to care, but something in me wasn't satisfied with it. Something in me was snapped down to the ground, killing all the urges I had stored in my heart. Something in me felt dead to even breath anymore.

Rubbing my hands on my face, I laid down on the bed, staring a