3

Our honeymoon was disastrous, because of me, of course. In the past week and a half, we didn't get to do anything fun due to my lack of energy. Every time Dalton asked me to go out, I made excuses to not go. I just wanted to wallow in self-pity and nothing else.

I was unable to get Carl out of my mind. I tried my best not to think about him but my thoughts traced back to our memories together.

I knew he didn't belong to me anymore, and that I should stop thinking about him but I just couldn't get him out of my system. He was imprinted on my heart and my soul. He was everywhere, and sometimes, he became an illusion.

That summarizes our trip to Hawaii. 

Fortunately, our honeymoon was cut short due to a work emergency after one and a half weeks of me crying my heart out. As to why the vacation was cut short - someone from the company has stolen a large amount of money and our parents were freaking out so we have to end our honeymoon. It came as a relief to me. I felt bad about Dalton every time I saw his dejected face when he tried to make me smile. At least, now he won't have to spend time with me. The less time he spends with me, the less disappointed he would be.

Dalton went to the office right when we hit the town and I decided to check my business. I own a small boutique. I design most of the clothes there and I have some people working for me so I don't have to do all the work. I just draw designs and other works are done by them.

The moment I stepped inside my boutique, I was pulled in a bear hug by my best friend/ manager, Amy. Amy has been my best friend since we were in diapers. Our bond goes deeper than just being friends. She was more of an older sister to me. 

Back to the present, Amy pulled me towards her office. On the way, I greeted my workers with a professional nod. After entering her office, she closed the door and made me sit on the sofa in her office.

"So tell me how was your honeymoon? How is he in bed? Is he big?" She bombarded me with questions.

"Geez, stop, I'll tell you everything," I sighed. As you can see, she is a busybody who has more interest in her friend's business than hers. 

"Uhm, we didn't do anything so I don't know if he's good in bed or if he's big," I told her the truth. I even explained in detail what happened during our honeymoon. I wasn't afraid of telling her everything. She's the only person who would never judge me, ever, regardless of the situation. So, I told her everything, including how I was still hung up on Carl.

She looked at me. "Correct me if I'm wrong. You didn't do anything with your husband and you're still hung up on your ex? Did I hear right?" she asked me again to confirm. I gave her a nod of confirmation. She closed her eyes briefly before sighing. 

"Alyssa, it's not my place to say anything but what you're doing is wrong," she said softly.

"I know but I can't forget him," my shoulders slumped in defeat. It's not like I'm not trying. God knows I'm trying. It's just that I'm failing miserably at it.

"You have to forget him," she said. "You're playing with emotions here. You know how much Dalton loves you. He would have been so heartbroken after seeing you mop around and get lost in another man's thoughts."

"I know," I replied in a small whisper. Of course, I was aware of his feelings for me. It was hard not to notice. You could feel the love radiating off of him when he was around me.

"Whenever you needed him, he was there for you. He's your husband now, Alyssa. You have to forget Carl. You know he's toxic for you. Don't let your past destroy your future," she took my hands into hers and tried to reason with me. For some reason, Amy has always been against my relationship with Carl. I don't know what's with the people around me and their disapproval of Carl. They all say the same thing - Carl isn't the one for you.

"Your relationship was toxic. You need someone like Dalton in your life, not Carl who will destroy you and all the people around you," she added. The worst thing was that I knew he was like poison to me and yet I still couldn't forget about him.

He was like a drug - addictive. You know it's dangerous for your health but you can't resist the temptation. He was exactly like a drug to me. I know he's toxic but I can't take him out of my system.

"Are you even listening to me?" Amy's screech pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm listening," I lied. 

"Okay, so as I was saying - you need to move on and give Dalton a chance. You know your husband has a lot of girls falling on his feet. Before anyone tries to snatch your candyman, eat him," she said and I tried my best not to laugh at her words. She has always called Dalton a candyman because he's sweet and every girl loves him.

I sighed. She's right. I can't let my future be destroyed by my past. The past which I was so hell-bent on keeping.

"You're right Amy. I need to let go and accept my fate. I can't hurt Dalton with my stubbornness. He doesn't deserve the shit I'm throwing at him," I said, determinedly.

Amy smiles softly. "That's my girl".

We discussed the work for 2 more hours before I decided to head home. I parked outside our home and started into nothingness. 

Home. Dalton has always been my home. I feel safe and secure around him. He was always there to protect me from any harm. He was always there whenever I was upset. 

He loves me and I was the one hurting him. Everything Amy and I talked about repeated in my mind. I looked down at the ring that adored my finger and made a promise to myself. 

I'll forget about Carl. It will not be easy but I'll try. For me and my husband.

~•~